We’re all familiar with the fact that women can have what is colloquially called “daddy issues.” In fact, women with these problems are often hypersexualized, as some believe them to seek out older men sexually in order to cope with subconscious traumas. All kinds of terrible jokes, superstitions, and beliefs have arisen, and continue to be perpetuated.
One thing that many may not be aware of, however, is that daddy issues in men are possible too! However, they can often symptomize in different forms than are typical for women. Men may feel a deeper need for approval, love, and support, than a mentally healthy and functional individual. Symptoms can present in more extreme ways too.
If you think you may have daddy issues, or that your male partner may be experiencing some mental struggles due to their relationship with their father, we’ll help you identify some signs in this article. Daddy issues are very real in men and can be far more pervasive in their lives than they may like to believe.
Can Men Have Daddy Issues?
The answer is a resounding and absolute yes. Men with daddy issues may experience a greater sense of worthlessness, and have no confidence. You don’t even need to have had a specifically problematic relationship with your father in order to develop daddy issues, a sheer lack of presence in your life is often more than enough.
These men should work on developing their confidence, and sense of self-worth.
Women can generally tell when a man has issues with his self-perception, and this can come off as particularly unattractive. More than that, it’s a problem that can really impact many aspects of a man’s life.
Men often think that guys have mommy issues instead of daddy issues, but both genders can have either or, depending on which of their parents they experienced some kind of issue or trauma from. In regards to gay men, they may also seek out sexual experiences with older men, similarly to how some women might.
What problems can daddy issues in men cause?
Men with daddy issues often have a host of issues that they may just see as elements of their personalities. For example, some men have an issue with loosening up, as a result, they are quite strict and stern all the time. The individuals may see themselves as an “old soul”.
Males with absent fathers may also express heightened aggression as a response to stress. Interestingly, this can go the other way too. Amongst boys and men, father absence was associated with feminine gender orientation and preference as well. This doesn’t necessarily mean that the man will identify with a female role, but they may think in a somewhat more feminine manner than they typically would have.
Men without a father figure during adolescence, or a poor role model of a father while growing up, are also more likely to experience drug abuse, have a child out of wedlock, drop out of school, and end up in prison. Fatherlessness does not cause these things, of course, but it plays an important factor. These men may also have trouble in their dating lives and need to learn how to gain more confidence with women. Daddy issues in men cause problems in just about every part of life.
Statistics about men with daddy issues
About 20% of fathers are absent from their minor children’s lives to some degree. The scope of the issue is far larger than many would have thought or imagined. As to be expected, many of these fathers are not choosing to be absent, but are kept from seeing their children as frequently as they may like due to factors such as their long or late work hours, difficulties in their marriage or divorce, and personal issues from having experienced absent fathers themselves. It’s a terrible cycle that tends to continue its way down the family tree and takes conscious effort to end.
Boys with absent fathers are also more than twice as likely to commit suicide. This stems from the fact that these boys are more likely to self-medicate with alcohol to feel relief from mental pain, be addicted to drugs, as well as experience psychiatric disease.
In terms of the future financial situation of men who had absent fathers, they are four times more likely to experience a life of poverty. This is caused by a multitude of factors, among them, being of course, the self-medicating with drinking, as well as a tainted work ethic caused by the lack of a strong male role model. Men with daddy issues often have a far more difficult time with certain elements of life that others learned quite early on during their mental development.
How male daddy issues can affect a relationship
When challenges arise, men and boys with daddy issues may not be able to step up to the occasion and resolve the problem. There can also be issues with displaying intimacy, or feelings of being unsettled when away from their partner.
Poor decisions about and within the relationship can also occur, which may result in a loss of respect or sense of security from your partner. Men with these issues may also need to take extra steps to experience a more fulfilling dating life. Boys with daddy issues, in some circumstances, have no clue about the appropriate way in which to treat the women around them, perhaps being too rough, or appearing somewhat uncaring in their demeanor.
These same boys may feel insecure about their own masculinity, as they have no point of reference on which to base it. This can result in attempts to act in a way that they perceive to be hypermasculine, but may instead be damaging their mental well-being to a greater extent.
The pursuit of short-term relationships is a common manifestation. Daddy issues in men and boys can lead to a decrease in overall satisfaction in relationships of all kinds.
Why does an absent father cause daddy issues in men?
Both parents play a crucial role in a child’s development. Mothers generally provide a sense of comfort and warmth, while fathers typically teach play and act as role models to boys. Without both sides to provide guidance, imbalances and a sense of confusion can often result.
An absent father can also make a child feel as if they are unworthy of love and attention, and make them desperately seek validation from other sources. This could be from other men or any number of other areas. Young boys also watch how their father treats their mother as they grow up, without this guidance, men can become abusive.
Even among boys without fathers, it was obvious to the young men that a father would have played a crucial role in helping them navigate the world, and avoid mistakes that greatly impacted the trajectory of their lives.
The absence of a father causes issues during social-emotional development, particularly by increasing externalizing behavior. Externalizing behaviors include physical aggression, verbal bullying, relational aggression, defiance, theft, and vandalism.
Can men have daddy issues develop later in life, it’s possible, but the earlier that a father becomes absent in the child’s life, the greater the chance for damage to the boy’s psyche. Boys may be at a more profound risk than girls for developing behavioral issues caused by an absent father.
Signs of Daddy Issues in Men
Men with absent fathers may express varying degrees of severity when it comes to symptoms. Nobody is a cookie-cutter replica, and we process trauma in our own unique way, through combinations of outlets. However, some typical signs can point in the direction of daddy issues. Some of the common signs of daddy issues in men include being overly clingy, wanting sex all the time, fear of being alone, being irresponsible and disrespectful, being afraid of commitment, being unaffectionate, being controlling and defensive, and more.
There isn't really any tell-tale sign to look out for, you’ll have to dig deeper and likely come to realize for yourself that your partner has daddy issues as you start to learn more about their relationship with their father. You can recommend seeing a therapist, but don’t go about this in a way that seems pushy, or you risk irritating your partner enough to turn them off from the idea. Therapy is helpful but some men may have an aversion to it, and if the relationship could end due to their issues, it’s best to discuss his actions first and try to find a means of processing emotion that is comfortable before pushing the subject too aggressively.
How do men with daddy issues treat their partner?
Men who were raised without the love and attention of a father are far more likely to be emotionally manipulative and controlling. They may also develop severe anxiety and depression, which could affect your own mental well-being too. These kinds of men may engage in self-sabotage towards their relationships, or hold grudges against or harbour resentment against their partner.
These men may blame their partners for certain negative feelings inside them, and project their unhappiness. As one could assume, this can be exceptionally emotionally draining for a partner, especially for one that truly cares for the man in question. You may also identify signs of love bombing, which could be reason enough to leave the relationship.
A man who has experienced abandonment, or a lack of attention from his father in his childhood, is likely to seek that validation and attention from their partner. This can often go too far and leave their partner feeling irritated at the constant need from the partner to know where they are, and what they are doing. It’s common for hypersexuality to be an issue, leaving the partner feeling as though they are unable to meet the needs of their male partner, forming new emotional stress that had not existed at an earlier point in time.
Can men with daddy issues make good fathers?
Men who realize that they have daddy issues of sorts will need to identify their weak points and focus on ensuring that they provide their children with the attention and love they never received themselves. It’s typical for many men who went through a fatherless childhood to be emotionally closed off or somewhat unplayful, which can lead their own child to feel unloved and perpetuate the cycle.
As long as care is taken to show love and support to the people around them, including their children and partner, men in this predicament can be just as good a father, and partner, as somebody raised in a more loving environment. It will require deeper introspection, and the willingness to create solutions to issues when it seems easier to simply walk away.
Men with daddy issues can be great partners, but the best kind of partner regardless of their shortcomings is one that treats you with respect and matches up with your interests and personality. There are a ton of great apps where people can meet wonderful partners, no matter what struggles they may be facing.