Let’s face it: reading isn’t the most exciting activity in the world. It’s hard to make a viral TikTok of someone reading a book, and poetry readings bore most people to death. In our social media age, where our attention is constantly assaulted by flashy videos and images, reading just can’t compete. But that’s exactly the reason that reading is such an important skill to cultivate. Readers are the counterculture. If you’re trying to be more attractive, you need to learn how to become a better reader.
Admittedly, as a writer, I’m biased. I not only enjoy reading, I consistently set time out of my day to do it. Books, articles, long-form journalism, even blogs; if it can be read, I’m in. I’ve been a reader ever since my parents bought the Berenstain Bears books for me. (Or is it Bernstein?) I consider myself fortunate to have developed a reading habit from a young age. For many adults who have never been serious readers, though, getting into the habit can be grueling. But if you put in the effort, you’ll reap all kinds of benefits.
You see, reading not only helps you be a more informed person, but it'll also help you meet women. Most ladies prefer a man who can hold a conversation about more than one or two things. If the only topics you’re comfortable discussing are football or Call of Duty, you need to pick up a book. So, I’m going to help you figure out how to be a better reader. Whether it’s an activity you’ve drifted away from recently or you were never a reader, you can start now.
How to Be a Better Reader
Women like a man with something on the mind. They want a man with intelligence who can hold a conversation about more than TV or fantasy sports. One of the best ways to add conversational ammo to your stockpile is to be a reader. If you read books and well-researched articles – blogs and Twitter threads aren’t enough – you’ll learn more about the world. Books are especially valuable. There’s strong scientific evidence that reading books, especially novels, literally increases your intelligence.
But what if you just flat-out hate reading? What do you do?
Make reading fun
For some people, reading comes naturally. Developing the habit as a child is one of the surest signs a person will be a reader as an adult. But even if you didn’t like reading as a kid, that doesn’t mean you can’t still develop the habit. If you’ve decided to become a reader, you just need to find something you want to read.
Too many non-readers feel as though they have to immediately jump into War and Peace or something equally epic. That is a great novel, but if you’re not a big reader, it’s going to be a slog. Don’t feel like you have to make up for lost time. Start with something you’re interested in. It can be fiction (i.e., novels) or nonfiction (biographies, historical accounts, science books, etc.). Eventually, you’ll want to expand your tastes to different genres. But when you’re starting out, it doesn’t matter what you read.
Don’t think of books as something separate from your interests; think of them as extensions of them. Enjoy true crime podcasts? There are “True Crime” books, and the number of books in that genre dwarfs the number of podcasts. Maybe your preferred pastime is video games like first-person shooters. Then try a war novel. Really into sports? Read the memoir of a popular athlete. Love debating DC versus Marvel movies? Check out graphic novels.
“You mean comic books?” You might be asking. Sure, some graphic novels are about superheroes, but not all. There are funny graphic novels, sad ones, sexy ones, and violent ones. Whatever you like, there’s a graphic novel for you. I frequently recommend graphic novels to non-readers, because they’re less intimidating than regular novels but just as literary.
The point is, there’s a book out there for you. You just have to find it.
Develop the habit
As you’re discovering how to become a better reader, remember that you don’t have to immediately love it. It can be like exercising or eating healthier or even improving at a game. The more you do it, the easier it’ll become. There are a few classic techniques for helping yourself develop the reading habit. Try these:
- Set aside time specifically for reading and don’t do anything else.
- Don’t read in bed, as you’re more likely to drift asleep; find a comfortable but upright place to read.
- Turn off distractions, including your phone, computer, and, especially, TV. If you’re reading on a tablet or Kindle, switch to the offline mode.
- If you struggle to remember what you’ve read, consider taking notes. Also, never be ashamed to look up a word you don’t know; that’s how everyone learns.
There might be good reasons you’ve struggled to read. Maybe you’re dealing with ADHD or dyslexia. You’re certainly not alone. Millions of adults struggle with the same conditions. Either one can make reading a challenging and frustrating activity. Thankfully, the tips listed above also work for anyone with ADHD or dyslexia; just set aside extra time. I’d also recommend using a pen or bookmark as you read to mark where you’re at. This will help you stay focused on the page.
Apps Dating Experts Recommend to Men, Readers or Not
Whether it's your first real relationship or you have a string in your past there are a few apps that dating experts recommend consistently. These are apps where you can meet great girls who want something long-term as well as those just looking to keep it casual:
| Site | Our Experience | Our Rating | Free Trial Link |
|---|---|---|---|
Best For Relationships  | Experience Highlights
| 9 | Try eHarmony |
Best For Casual Fun  | Experience Highlights
| 9 | Try AFF For Free |
Great If You're Handsome  | Tinder Highlights
| 8 | Try Tinder |
Challenge yourself
In time, as you develop into more of a reader, you may choose to up the difficulty. You should still read things you’ll like, but pushing yourself can deepen the habit and make it more enjoyable. Set goals for yourself. Start smaller and work your way up. It might take a couple of years, but eventually, you might just manage to tackle Crime and Punishment. Or, if you only read novels, switch to nonfiction, and attempt something hefty, like Guns, Germs, and Steel.
Those are just examples, but the point is, once you’ve started reading, it’s good to challenge yourself. As I said, it’s like working out: if you don’t keep increasing the resistance, you’ll stop getting stronger.
Books for Men to Read
As you develop into a reader, you’re going to naturally wonder, “What books should I be reading?” The simple answer to that is, read whatever you like. There are no “right” books for men to read, just books that speak to you. That said, if you’re not naturally a reader and you’re just now getting into it, you might appreciate some direction. Thankfully, there are tons of great lists out there. I suggest checking out the website Goodreads.com, which has tons of user-created lists in all book genres.
If you want an “official” list of must-read books, check out Time Magazine’s All-Time 100 Novels list. It includes the most important novels of the last 100 years. Some younger readers will roll their eyes at this list because the books are mostly older. But if you just need somewhere to start, it’s as good a place as any. The classics are classics for a reason.
Books that make you think
Once you’ve developed the reading habit, you’re going to want to delve deeper. The thing that books do better than anything else (even two-hour YouTube videos) is thoroughly explore a topic. There are tons of books that make you think about weighty subjects, from politics and philosophy to science and religion.
In terms of novels, there are masterpieces like 1984, To Kill a Mockingbird, and The Name of the Rose. For science, try classics like A Brief History of Time, Cosmos, and Silent Spring. In history, there’s A People's History of the United States and anything by David McCullough. That’s just a starting point. There are countless books on any subject imaginable that will give you something to ponder.
However, don’t just stick to the popular books. Branch out, and take a chance on a book or author you’ve never heard of. Maybe you’ll find a new classic.
Books That Will Impress Women
If you’re learning how to become a better reader to meet women, well, that’s as good a reason as any. In that case, though, you might need to expand your library. After all, while technically anyone can read any book, there are definitely books that more women enjoy. Intelligent women are generally readers, and there’s a range of books that tend to be popular with them. If you want to impress a woman, or just better understand how she thinks, try some of these:
- Beloved by Toni Morrison
- Hamnet by Maggie O’Farrell
- I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë
- Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (no, watching a movie adaptation doesn’t count)
- Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf
- My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante
- Normal People by Sally Rooney
- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (anything by Austen, really)
- The Color Purple by Alice Walker
- The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
- The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
- The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
- White Teeth by Zadie Smith
- Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
Any of these books will make for great conversation starters. One important tip, though. Don’t assume that just because you mention reading Virginia Woolf, a woman’s going to immediately jump into bed with you. The point of reading these books isn’t to give you a pickup line for your next Tinder match. It’s to make yourself a more well-rounded, thoughtful man; the kind of man women actually enjoy talking with.
There are many more great books that women tend to love – by both female and male authors. Like all the recommendations in this article, these are just a starting point. Hopefully, as you grow as a reader, you’ll do your own research and expand your tastes.
In time, reading will become as natural to you as any other hobby you enjoy. You may even start preferring to stay in with a good book rather than go to the bar. Well, sometimes.
FAQ about How to Become a Better Reader
Are women attracted to readers?
They have actually done countless surveys on this, and the answer is unequivocally “Yes!” Women find men who read more attractive because those men tend to be smarter, better conversationalists, and more compassionate partners. If you’re not reading, you’re putting yourself at a major disadvantage in the dating pool.
Can reading make you more attractive?
Of course! Both men and women say they find reading an attractive trait in a partner, and that’s especially true with women. While reading might not seem like a “cool” activity, it communicates that you are intelligent, thoughtful, and worldly. Nothing is sexier than that.
Does reading make men more attractive?
Years of research have proven that reading is correlated with increased intelligence. While having a six-pack and a chiseled jaw might initially draw in some women, brains will keep them around. It’s simple: If you read more, you will be a more intelligent person, and that will make you more attractive.
