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How to Use Your Intelligence to Attract Women

An intelligent man attracted to intelligent women

There are a huge variety of factors that determine whether a woman finds a man to be attractive, or somebody less than desirable. For all the talk about height, great looks, and confidence, one aspect which is often overlooked among men is their own intelligence.

Women need to be kept mentally stimulated, just like anyone else in a healthy relationship. Frankly, an intelligent woman will quickly become bored with a handsome, but dumb male model. You’ll become nothing more than a mere toy to her.

For some men, that's no problem! However, if you want to get serious about the long-term health of a relationship, especially with a sapiosexual (somebody with an intelligence attraction), you’ll need to show that you’ve got something going on behind that handsome face of yours too!

Intelligence is Sexy: The Facts of Intelligence Attraction

Women of all kinds are attracted to many different things, but there are some similar qualities that the majority tend to favor. For example, if you know how to be a confident man, you’ll probably have an easier time with women around the world. One of these common sexy qualities is most certainly intelligence.

In fact, among both men and women, intelligence was perceived to be one of the most desirable traits a partner could have, second only to kindness. From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense to seek out the smartest partners, as they’d likely have the best chance at survival, assuming all the men possess the same physical abilities.

In a modern context, intelligence in a relationship is mostly all about mental satisfaction and having interesting conversations. There is no direct correlation between intelligence and wealth! Another reason for seeking out intelligent partners could also be a form of social status, as Intelligence had a more pervasive effect on people's impression of a person than physical attractiveness did.

Men’s attraction to intelligence

A woman in STEM

This study, conducted by Lora E. Park, discovered that psychologically distant men were more attracted to women who had a greater level of intelligence than they did, while psychologically near men were less attracted to women with greater intelligence than themselves. Psychological distance is the degree to which people feel removed from a phenomenon.

Modern men are increasingly valuing intelligence over beauty when choosing long-term mates. Scientists at Northwestern University and the University of Innsbruck believe that humans select mates based on traits that will best increase their life going forward, and that in a modern society, intelligence ranks highly as one of these traits.

A lot of men are attracted to intelligence, but the man’s upbringing has a great deal to do with what kind of women they prefer. The men raised in an environment that perpetuated stereotypes, such as that they will likely have to act as the sole provider, are far more likely to prefer a woman with domestic skills. Women and men who envisioned themselves as a stay at home parents much preferred older partners with stable careers.

A cross-cultural study has also shown that in countries that display greater gender equality, it is less common to trade male earning power for female youth and beauty. In the highly gender-equal nation of Finland, men were actually found to be more likely to prefer intelligence in a partner over women! If you’re the kind of confident man who thinks being intelligent is sexy, you’ll have plenty of luck finding smart women in places like these.

Women’s attraction to intelligence

Intelligence attraction in women is very real. The most beautiful women, who often get first pick of the men around them, also happen to end up with the smartest men on average.

The physical beauty of a woman was a strong indicator of her husband’s intelligence, and less attractive women on average, end up married to dumber men.

A man’s physical attractiveness, on the other hand, could not be used to predict the intelligence of his wife. That suggests that intelligence could actually be more important to women when choosing a long-term partner than it is for men.

Women seem to hold more weight on factors besides physical appearance than men do base on an initial encounter. According to a street survey, women found men wearing glasses to be about 75% sexier than men without glasses, which many perceive as a physical indication of intelligence. It seems that for a lot of women, being intelligent is sexy.

Why are we attracted to intelligence?

Displaying his intelligence through charm and humor

About 1 in 10 people consider themselves to be sapiosexual, or somebody who is attracted to intelligence. Interestingly enough, the gorgeous Marilyn Monroe considered herself to be within this group of people, and once admitted to having a sexual fantasy about sleeping with Einstein! By the way, Marilyn was extraordinarily intelligent and is thought to have had an IQ score five points above that of Einstein.

Contrary to the findings within the “Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences”, the University of Western Australia found that men and women actually seem to prefer intelligence just as much as the other. The science within this area truly does appear to be in its infancy, as many studies claim findings with wildly different results. This is likely due to cultural, regional, and societal differences depending on where the study was conducted. A study conducted in Turkey or Korea is certainly going to have different results from one done in Australia or Finland.

As for why intelligence is attractive, it’s correlated with many traits found to be extremely charming, such as charm itself, wit, humor, emotional intelligence, vocabulary, and other proximal traits. These traits are generally used by humans to assess how intelligent a person is based on social interactions, as we obviously cannot actually determine a person's brain power.

Attracting Women Who Are Attracted To Intelligence

If you’re looking to play a little bit of “intelligence attraction”, you’ll have to understand exactly what gets her prefrontal cortex firing and activated. The harder you try to come across as intelligent, the more likely you are to turn her away. Smart people don’t feel the need to prove it, it simply shines through in the way they choose to go about their lives.

In order to start dating women who are attracted to intelligence, you need to be able to actually find the women who are attracted to intelligence. If you haven’t already, we definitely recommend taking a quick peek through our list of places to meet intelligent women. If you know where to look, you can meet some really smart gals in high concentrations. This will make the process far easier.

Remember that being intelligent within the context of dating has far more to do with how you show her a good time with your sense of humor, and charisma, than it does with things typically associated with intelligence. She likely doesn’t care how quickly you can solve maths equations, or about your extensive knowledge of WW2 aircraft. Dating is all about having a good time, and your intelligence should be used to help, not hinder.

Important tips for dating intelligent women

A natural history museum can be a fantastic backdrop for great conversation, and that’s a point to remember. You really are there with the primary focus on talking and learning about each other, and less on focusing on the actual (yet understandably cool) dinosaur bones.

Crack a joke or two about the things going on around you, while she’s unlikely to believe you could actually defeat the dinosaur you’ve just pointed out in a fight, it’s a hilarious thought that’s sure to get a chuckle out of her.

An intelligent woman is frankly, just a typical woman. Sure yours might be a bit above average in the brains department, but she wants to feel heard, and experience that feeling of attraction. Don’t try and show off, just act natural and let her discover who you actually are as a person.

How to come across as intelligent

Using his EQ to make more friends

If you want to date intelligent women, you’ll need to be intelligent yourself. Save the gloating and random trivia unless it’s relevant to whatever situation you find yourselves in.

Let’s start with how you present yourself, physically. As mentioned, glasses can make you seem 75% more attractive, but they also tend to make people view you as more intelligent. You can use this to your advantage, whether you need them or not, and find some cool frames that match your face and style.

Your clothing also matters. You want to come across as tasteful, polished, and classy, not as a teenage, ungroomed delinquent. Your clothing can display your sense of self-worth and self-respect. Posture is also really important for both of these reasons.

As far as displaying your intelligence in your behavior, refrain from using swear words. These don’t require a great amount of intellect to conjure up, and are more akin to saying “umm”. They’re placeholder words that nobody really wants to hear.

Have an extensive vocabulary, but don’t just throw in large words for the sake of it. Used sparingly and appropriately, these larger words will come across as far more impressive than being squirted out like you’re a random word generator.

Ask thought-provoking questions that make her look inside herself, not only will you be different, you’ll be making her think. That’s often something intelligent people can do with their words. Make others think.

Where to meet highly intelligent women

There are plenty of highly intelligent women online, like on fantastic dating websites such as eHarmony. There are also tons of great apps for hooking up with intelligent women, there’s no reason these can’t blossom into something more.

If you’re set on meeting women in the real world, however, you’ll want to hang around where intelligent women flock. If you’re between 18 and your early 20’s, this could be around college campuses. For the older men out there, activity clubs can be a fantastic place to meet smart women. For example, language learning classes can be great, as those looking to further their education to such a degree are likely to be intelligent.

You could also hang around places where intelligence gathers, such as hospitals, poetry bars, museums of all kinds, art exhibits, and more. At the end of the day, if you have intelligent interests, you’re bound to meet intelligent women.

Expectations of intelligent women

If you aren’t particularly intelligent, dating a smart woman could be tough, especially if your expectations within a relationship aren’t exactly the picture of modern equality. People's definitions of a smart woman differ wildly, but if you think a beauty with a doctorate is going to conform to a traditional role at home, you are in for a rude awakening.

Intelligent women want somebody who first and foremost recognizes their intelligence and their individualism. You need to support them in their endeavors, and pull your weight at home too. Don’t get us wrong, plenty of intelligent women choose to stay at home, but the key point here is that it was their own choice as an individual.

If you really want to come across as intelligent, respecting a person for their own intelligence and individuality will get you further than anything else. Here’s how you can become a person who gives and receives that level of respect, which really shows others your true intelligence.

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