Something a lot of guys want to learn is how to get out of the friendzone, especially if they’ve been in it for a very long time with an attractive woman.
Being in the friendzone with someone you have feelings for is a very frustrating and excruciating feeling. It gets hard to stay true to yourself when you really like someone and they don’t like you back.
That’s why I’ll show you how you can get out of it and explain how to stay out of the friend zone once you’ve succeeded.
I’ll also go over how to tell if you are in the friend zone in the first place. Because some guys mistake it for something entirely different and often make the situation even worse.
With that said, the surest way to get over all of this is to approach, attract and then date other beautiful women. Our in-depth video course on approaching women and creating a strong attraction will help you with this and turn your dating life around.
How to tell if you are in the friendzone
The surest way to tell when you’re in the friend zone is when women don’t want anything to do with you sexually. But they still want to hang out with you and have fun together in other ways.
This means they see you only as a friend and don’t consider you as a lover at all. It’s either because they don’t find you attractive or because there’s absolutely no sexual chemistry between the two of you. It can also be hard when you want to tell her you like her but you don't want to ruin your friendship.
This can happen for many different reasons. But usually, it’s because the guy has failed to let the woman he likes know that he wants her sexually. It’s often because he doesn’t want to risk rejection.
You see, one of the most common reasons men land in the friendzone is because they’re afraid of rejection. Because if you let a woman know you want her sexually, she'll either say yes or no. This is perfectly fine and is entirely her choice to make!
So fearing the dreaded “no,” the guy won’t tell her about his intentions at all, but he still hangs out with her.
They go out and do various activities friends often do together while getting to know each other. He keeps thinking that someday she’ll “realize what a great guy he is” and somehow decide to sleep with him.
But the truth is, women often end up being hurt and angry with them once the truth eventually comes out.
That’s because the guy is posing as a friend when he actually has ulterior motives to sleep with her. This is very dishonest and disingenuous. And women are right to feel betrayed because of this deception.
That’s why you need to tell women your true intentions and learn how to take rejection like a man.
How to get out of the friend zone once you’re there
Getting out of the friendzone isn’t an easy task. But it’s certainly doable if you know what to do.
With that said, there’s no way it will work 100 percent of the time. Because some women simply won’t forgive men who were being dishonest about what they want from the relationship. There’s nothing you can do about that, and the best course of action then is to just let it go.
Likewise, if there is no attraction at all, you can’t force it to happen.
That’s why for the best chance of success, don’t suddenly “confess your love” for her.
Instead, make it seem like you weren’t interested in her romantically at all. But then, after something special happened, you suddenly became very attracted to her.
This will make it seem much more plausible and probably won’t make her mad at you. Because things like this do happen, and friends can still sometimes become lovers.
To achieve that effect, here’s what you need to do:
- You need to start behaving differently around her in a way that arouses her curiosity in you. This will make her think you’ve gone through a change.
- You must create sexual chemistry and tension between the two of you.
- When the sexual tension reaches a boiling point, you need to make your move.
These three things, when done correctly, will make sure she sees you in a different light. It may eventually lead her to want to sleep with you.
So let’s tackle them one by one, so you know exactly how to get out of the friendzone.
Make her see you in a different light
So far, she only sees you as a friend and nothing else. You need to win her over the girl if you want any chance of seducing her.
This means you’ll have to change your behavior around her drastically. You must do specific things to pique her curiosity and intrigue her into getting to know you in a different way.
First, you have to forget any notion of always being friendly with her.
So, starting from when you next see her, you must be challenging. Stop agreeing with everything she says, and always stand by your opinion. Don’t be afraid to argue with her, call her out on her bullshit or even to annoy her.
Then, start teasing her but not in a mean-spirited way. Teasing is one of the best ways to spark intrigue as well as attraction in people if you do it right. So don’t be afraid to ruffle her feathers, make fun of her, mock her playfully and crack jokes at her expense.
You can also start getting a little touchy with her, but not in a creepy way. Start with letting your hands wander towards hers or accidentally-on-purpose playing footsies under the table.
After that, you have to stop giving her all the validation she gets from you as a friend. This means you need to stop accommodating her and her wishes. Learn to say “no” when she asks you to meet her, especially if you’re busy. Don’t answer her texts or calls immediately, so she doesn’t think you’ll drop everything for her. And learn how to change the subject when she starts talking about things that are uninteresting to you, like other guys.
In other words, play a little hard to get.
Let her know that you're seeing other women
The second thing you need to do is to start seeing other women. Even if you think she’s “the one,” try to get a little flirtation on with other women.
This may sound counter-intuitive, but you must get out into the dating world if you want to have a chance with her. You also need to talk about this with her and let her know you’re interested in other women. Make it clear that other women are also interested in you.
This will make her realize that you’re a desirable man and that other women want to spend time with you.
This, in addition to what I’ve already described above like teasing and being more challenging, will make her start missing you. She’ll realize you won’t always be there for her and that you’ll be out there having fun with other women.
All of this will make her miss you even more, and she’ll start wanting more of your time. It can even ignite a spark of jealousy in her, which will be even more perfect!
That’s because if she realizes that you’re more interested in spending time with other women than her, she’ll start wanting what she can’t have anymore. And jealousy is a very powerful motivator for women.
When she misses you, create sexual tension
After she realizes she can’t always have you around and that you’re seeing other women, it’ll be the perfect time to ignite sexual tension.
Once there’s finally sexual tension between you two, she’ll start to get sexually curious about you, and this can eventually compel her to sleep with you. That is one surefire way to escape the friendzone.
So how do you do this?
You can start by inserting various seemingly innocuous and offhanded sexual comments into your conversation. This will let her know that you’re a sexual man.
You also need to amp up your physicality at this point. Become more touchy-feely ,and don’t be afraid to show her that you’re a physical guy.
Put your arm around her when she says something silly, and then shake her playfully. Hug her when you meet her, and nudge her when you tease her.
Eventually, touch her more intimately and in places where friends never would. Like putting your hand on her neck and stroking it. Take her hand and massage it gently while you’re talking. You can also place your arm over her shoulder when she says she’s cold. Just don’t bring too much attention to it. Do it in a nonchalant way so as to not make it awkward.
Then, start talking more about various sexual topics. Tell her stories from your life that have something to do with sex or sexuality. Ask her questions about her sexual preferences, and talk about sex in general.
The point of all this is to let her know you have no problems talking about sex with her. It can also get her to think about sex when she’s in your presence. Eventually, she’ll start associating these thoughts with you after a while.
Once you see she’s into you, make your move
At this point, you should start noticing unmistakable signs that she sees you in a different way from before. You’re no longer “just a friend” to her, as you now have potential to become a lover.
So keep working up the sexual tension by doing all of the above until you see her get aroused because of you or by the thought of having sex with you.
You can test her arousal by getting close to her face with yours but without kissing her. See if she starts looking at your lips and your eyes longingly. Gauge if she moves towards your lips even slightly. This is a sure sign that she wants to kiss you.
When this happens, you can make your move in a few different ways.
One of the most tried and true methods, as much as I hate to admit it, is to involve some alcohol. Not much, mind you, but just enough to lessen her inhibitions. Have just enough so she gives in to her more primal urges.
Another way is to simply tease her to the point where she’s ready to jump your bones. Get gradually more and more intimate without actually making any explicit moves.
So just massage her hand while you’re talking. Then massage her shoulders and caress her back. Sit much closer to her than usual, lean in from time to time like you’re thinking of kissing her, but don’t do it.
This type of teasing will drive women wild when done right. And when she’s quivering with anticipation, you can finally make your move.
Staying out of the friendzone forever
Now let me tell you how to stay out of the friend zone once you’ve had sex with her.
Truth is, it’s going to be as easy as pie because she already sees you as a lover.
All you have to do is keep up with being a sexual tease. Flirt with her, keep talking about sex with her, and keep touching her intimately. Don’t stop being challenging, and don’t stop teasing her. Make sure to not revert back to your overly accommodating ways.
This will keep the spark alive, and you’ll never get back into the friendzone.
Now you know exactly how to get out of the friendzone. I’ve given you all the necessary steps for success, so all you have to do is follow them.
Remember, make it seem as natural as possible. That you “suddenly” decided you find her attractive and want to sleep with her, instead of making it obvious you’ve been pining for her all this time.
If you do that and follow the steps above and you also follow our other tips for getting out of the friendzone, you’ll have very high chances of finally being with her.