How To Win Over A Girl Even After Struggling At First (For Normal Guys)

Man shows how to win over a girl by charming her during an outdoor date
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Most guys don’t know how to win over a girl even if they tried. In fact, too many guys think that the initial rejection is all they need to back off. This is good news for you because a little welcome persistence might be all you need to win over the woman of your dreams.

Truth is, a guy will usually struggle to win a woman over straight away. There tends to be an initial period when she’s unsure about him. 

But if a woman still thinks you’ve got the potential to be an awesome guy, she’ll stick around and give you a chance to prove yourself.

In this guide, we’ll focus on how to win over a girl when you’re struggling at first. Follow these tips to turn things around and discover how to win a girl’s heart.  

How To Win Over A Girl Now

The first part of this article focuses on how to win over a girl during your first interaction with her. If you’ve got into a conversation with her, but you’re not feeling that instant chemistry, follow these steps to turn the tables in your favor.

Don’t let your confidence slip

Even if she’s not giving you any signs that she’s attracted to you or excited by your presence, don’t let your confidence slip. Keep being fun, keep flirting, keep cracking jokes. If she’s still listening to you, there’s every chance she likes you but she’s being poker-faced about it.

Beautiful women get hit on all the time. They only date the true champions.   They also care deeply about not being easy to win over. This is why they’ll sometimes keep that resting bitch face during the opening minutes, hours or even days of you trying to flirt with her. They want to test whether your confidence is legitimate or whether you crumble at the first sign of non-compliance.

If she truly had no interest in you, she would walk away or tell you to leave her alone. It’s incredibly easy for a woman to do that, and you should absolutely stop pestering her if she does. If she hasn’t done that and is still talking to you, take that as the only sign you need to keep flirting confidently with her.

Women know they are making it hard for you by playing “hard to get” during the initial exchanges. If you maintain your self-confidence despite her obvious lack of support, this can do a lot to increase her attraction towards you. 

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Win over her friends

If you’re flirting with a woman while she’s surrounded by her friends, it’s common that she’ll hide any romantic interest she has in you to impress them.

If her friends don’t like you, she’s not going to go against them to swap contact details or be swept off onto the dancefloor with you. Her loyalty will always lie with them over some dude she’s just met. 

So, if things aren’t going well with the woman you want, it might be good to work on winning over the group as a whole. Focus particularly on the “leader”; the woman with the biggest personality who has an uncanny habit of speaking for the whole group and deciding what they’re going to do. Every group of women has one. If you can get the “leader’s” approval, the woman you want will feel she has permission to act more favorably towards you too.  

Be patient

The way men and women experience attraction is incredibly different. Men primarily experience attraction visually. A woman’s appearance is very important to us, so we typically know whether we’re attracted to someone within less than seconds.

Women primarily experience attraction emotionally. A man’s personality plays a far bigger role in her attraction. Is he cool? Does he make me feel good?  Can he protect me? Am I safe with him? These are all questions women need to ask themselves before they go with a guy. So, it takes them a lot longer than men to start feeling those tingles of attraction. Plus, they have to worry about not looking easy too. So, even when they are attracted, they’re not going to make it obvious straight away.

The point I’m making here is that you need to be patient when flirting with a woman. It’s completely normal that they give you no signs of being attracted to you within the first minutes of an interaction. So, hang in there!     

Close the deal anyway

It’s common for men with low-self esteem to have a great flirtatious conversation with a woman, only to assume that she wasn’t interested. This is partly because the signs women are attracted to you are so difficult to spot.

That’s why you should try and close the deal, no matter how you think the conversation went. If you’re meeting during the daytime, move to swap contact details. In a bar or nightclub, invite her back to yours for one last drink. You’ll never truly know unless you go for it. 

Every playboy out there has a story of shooting his shot, having no idea whether it will work and securing an epic experience with a woman as a result.    

How to Win the Girl You Like

Now if you’re also struggling with finding a girl you want to successfully attract, then I suggest you go over this informative course on how to confidently attract women. However, if you already have a girl in mind, read on.

Now, let’s say you’ve already been on a couple of dates with a girl you like and those dates didn’t go too well.

There can be tons of different reasons why a date doesn’t go well or she has firmly put you in the friendzone. But for one reason or another, she still thinks you’re a swell guy and has given you one more chance to show her what you’re made of.

The rest of this guide will focus on how you can make the most of it, salvage this situation and win her over.

Do a physical activity together

Here’s how to win over a girl after an unsuccessful first date. Take her somewhere where you can both do some kind of physical activity together. Take her dancing, roller skating or something similar that you both might enjoy.

Something like this will help you out a lot if you couldn’t win her over before due to boring conversations, lack of a “spark” or because she just didn’t have fun. So, next time you talk to her, ask what kind of physical activity she enjoys doing and invite her to do it together.

If she doesn’t have any preference, then invite her to go dancing. Dancing will make you both more physical with one another. And since physical touching is one of the most important things in seducing and winning women over, you’re sure to do much better this time around.

Also, doing some kind of interesting activity together will ensure you won’t have awkward conversations or run out of things to say. Plus, it’ll be fun for both of you. For example, let’s say you took her out to play mini-golf, pool or bowling. You’ll instantly have plenty of different things to talk about that have to do with that particular activity.

And if you’re better than her at it, you’ll be able to teach her some techniques. This can involve lots of touching and flirtatious banter to get her excited. You always want to be in a situation where you can do more than just talk.

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Have as much fun as you can

Trying too hard to impress her is one surefire way to kill all the fun. The second killer is the pressure to either sleep with her or make her your girlfriend. Instead of focusing on these, focus on genuinely having fun together.

One of the ultimate goals of any date is to have as much fun as possible together. The other is to get to know each other.

How you achieve this is entirely up to you, and there’s no right or wrong way for you to have fun as long as you both enjoy each other’s company.

So, don’t think about trying to impress her. Don’t try and make everything perfect. And make sure you talk to her like a real person, not some girl you’re throwing compliments at while you put her on a pedestal.

Chill out and try to enjoy your date without any ulterior motives. Don’t show her that you want to get laid or that you’re desperate to have a girlfriend.

One technique to help you relax around her is to think of her as just another one of your buddies. Don’t get your mind wrapped up in the date, and just hang out like you would with a friend.

This mindset is extremely helpful for guys who are struggling on their dates and want to figure out how to win a girl over. It lifts an enormous amount of pressure off your shoulders. You can then focus on having fun and getting to know her better.

Connect with her and really get to know her

One of the common reasons the first few dates didn’t go well is that you didn’t get to know her enough.

Getting to know her is a great way to figure out if you’re compatible with one another.

So, during the course of your date, ask her questions about the various things you deem important. Figure out what she’s into and what she’s passionate about. Ask about her opinions on certain things, and then share your opinions too.

Ask her questions about her life and really listen to what she has to say.

And if you don’t want to jump into personal stuff, start by asking her questions about travel, her taste in music, her favorite movies or her hobbies. They’re great conversation starters, and you can usually talk about these things for ages with other people.

Just make sure you ask all these things because you’re genuinely interested in her answers. Don’t ask her questions just so you can answer the same questions when she’s done talking.

People like to talk about themselves a lot. So if you seem genuinely interested in her answers when you’re asking, she’ll really appreciate it and will like you more.

Show her who you really are

Another huge part of how to win over a girl is to let her get to know the real you.

There are too many guys who pretend to be someone they’re not when on a date. They do this by acting with false bravado and feigning interest in things that would make them look cool. They put on a mask and act like a completely different person.

This is incredibly inauthentic, and many women can see right through this. If you’ve caught yourself doing this, it might be the reason your previous dates didn’t go so well.

So, if you want to win over a girl, it’s crucial that you show her who you really are and what makes you tick. Be honest about some of your weaknesses, and be modest about your accomplishments. Tell her that you like her if you genuinely do.

This builds enormous trust and lets you connect with one another on a deeper level. It also makes her comfortable with you, which is vital if you want to become a couple.

Women want men who can be themselves on a date. Doing this can only work in your favor, no matter if your hobbies are nerdy, dorky or silly. As long as you’re happy while doing them and can impart those positive feelings with her, she’s sure to enjoy talking about them with you.

Make sure to flirt with her

The next critical part of how to win over a girl is flirting. You need to flirt with her if you want her to become interested in you as more than just friends.

I suggest you use a combination of teasing, sending mixed signals about liking her, challenging her and playing various silly games that lead to lots of banter. That said, how you flirt with her is up to you because each person has their own distinct style.

And let’s not forget flirting by using your physicality. To eventually make her want you sexually, she has to be comfortable with your touch.

So I suggest you begin being physical with her right off the bat, as soon as you meet her.

Greet her with a hug. Put your arm on her lower back and lead her forward when she’s walking through a door. Touch her arm when making a point during your conversations. High-five her if she says something cool. And nudge her a bit when you’re telling a joke.

The opportunities for physical touch are endless. And you should establish very early that you’re a physical guy who’s comfortable with being touchy.

Win the girl over with your sense of humor

Making women laugh is one of the most attractive things a man can do. It’s also a surefire way to win girls over because everyone enjoys a person who’s funny and makes them laugh. Plus, if your sense of humor happens to match hers, then it can really become the start of a wonderful friendship that can lead to a relationship.

So, don’t be afraid to joke around when you’re on a date. Tell her various silly and funny stories, both from your life or from the experiences of other people.

Also, discuss various comedy movies, shows and books with her. If you both like Friends, for example, you can talk about all the silly things you love about the show. Finding out what you have in common and being able to laugh about it can open a huge door to new conversations and shared experiences.

Finally, encourage her to tell jokes and be funny when she’s around you as well. And try not to be too harsh or judgmental if her sense of humor doesn’t exactly match yours.

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Create sexual tension

The next and arguably one of the most important things to do during your date is to build and maintain some sexual tension. It’s absolutely necessary to establish sexual tension to win her over and eventually sleep with her. Without this tension, you won’t arouse her sexual interest and you will most likely only end up in the friendzone.

Unfortunately, too many guys forget about this crucial point entirely or simply don’t deem it as very important during a date. Some are even too afraid of letting the girl know they want her sexually and don’t show any sexual intent at all for fear of scaring her off.

The trick to doing this successfully lies in holding eye contact, getting closer to her, making your touches gradually more intimate and then steering the conversation towards more sexual topics.

Strong eye contact increases intimacy between two people. Intimate touching like massaging her hand, putting your arm around her or touching her thigh whets her appetite. And talking about sexual topics ignites her imagination and gets her thinking about what it’s like to get into bed with you.


Now you know how to win over a girl during your date if you’ve been struggling up to this point.

It’s not that difficult once you get the hang of it, but it does require some practice. Start off by having as much fun as you can, then move on to getting to know her better. Make her see how much she can enjoy your company. And when she’s finally getting into you, bring out the big guns and start flirting with her until you build some sexual tension.

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