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How to Be a Sexually Disciplined Man: Tips for Hookups

Practicing sexual discipline during a date

As human beings, we have a natural instinct to seek pleasure, including sexual pleasure. It is one of the driving forces of human evolution. Men have different levels of libido. However, as men, it is important to exercise sexual discipline and control to ensure that our sexual behavior is healthy, respectful, and consensual. When talking about sexual discipline, a term that pops up often is sexual repression since these two concepts have slight overlaps.

Many people frequently confuse the two and try to implement one or both without proper knowledge. This article will explain the key differences between sexual discipline and repression, and how you can be more sexually disciplined as a man.

Sexually Disciplined vs. Sexually Repressed

Sexual behavior is integral to human life, and people express their sexuality differently. However, there is a fine line between sexual discipline and sexual repression, and it is important to understand the difference between them first.

Sexual discipline

Sexual discipline is all about making conscious and informed choices about your sexual behavior. It involves taking responsibility for your sexual desires and needs, communicating with your partner about boundaries and consent, and respecting the boundaries of others.

  • Sexual discipline is characterized by a healthy and respectful approach to sexual expression, involving communication, respect, and mutual consent.
  • Sexual discipline allows individuals to enjoy their sexuality in a way that is safe, satisfying, and respectful of themselves and others.
  • Sexual discipline involves avoiding risky or harmful sexual behavior.
  • Sexual discipline means setting boundaries and practicing self-control.

Sexual repression

Being sexually repressed

Sexual repression, on the other hand, is the denial, suppression, or inhibition of sexual desires and impulses. This concept is often caused by societal, cultural, or religious factors, as well as personal beliefs, attitudes, and experiences.

For example, many religious scriptures preach celibacy until marriage. Devoted followers take this advice to heart and practice it, thinking there is a divine cause behind it and that disobeying means eternal punishment.

  • Sexual repression can lead to negative consequences, both physical and psychological. These negative consequences include anxiety, depression, sexual dysfunction, sexual addiction, and compulsive behavior as individuals try to cope with unmet sexual desires.
  • Sexual repression often comes with negative emotions such as guilt and shame.
  • Sexual repression can lead to an unhealthy focus on sexual activity or behavior outside one's values or boundaries.
  • Sexual repression involves denying or subduing sexual desires to an unhealthy level.

How to Achieve Sexual Discipline as a Single Man

To practice sexual discipline, you need to be mindful of your sexuality so you can make informed choices about your sexual activity. Here are some ways you can practice sexual discipline:


Before you can exercise sexual discipline, you need to have a clear understanding of your own sexual desires and boundaries. Take the time to reflect on what you find sexually arousing and what kind of sexual behavior you are comfortable with. Consider what kind of sexual activities you want to engage in and your limits.

For example, figure out if you’re turned on or intimidated by rough sex. What about oral and anal sex? It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. Do you like experimenting with toys? Are you in a committed relationship, or looking for a casual fling?

Once you clearly understand your sexuality and motives, you will have a better grip on your emotions and libido. Moreover, you will be able to communicate your needs and boundaries more effectively to your partner.

Communicate your preferences with your partner

Communication is key to healthy sexual relationships. Talk to your partner about your sexual desires, needs, and boundaries. Be honest and clear about what you are comfortable with and what you are not.

At the same time, listen to your partner's needs and boundaries, and be respectful of them. If you and your partner have different sexual desires or boundaries, try to find a compromise that works for you both. Remember, consent is essential in any sexual encounter.

Stop objectifying women

A sexy woman during a photoshoot

Sexual discipline also means avoiding the objectification of women. Objectification occurs when we reduce a person to their sexual body parts or functions, ignoring their humanity and individuality. This is harmful and disrespectful and can lead to the objectified person feeling devalued.

Treat your partners with respect and dignity. See them as whole persons with their own individual desires, needs, and boundaries. Just because a woman is outgoing does not mean she’s open to doing all, your sexual fantasies with you.

Another way you can stop objectifying women is by looking past their physical beauty and trying to connect with them on an emotional level. This can be achieved if you are genuinely interested in them so you’re able to hold meaningful conversations.

You can connect with smart women on Elite Singles and have intellectual conversations with them. If you find someone you’re intellectually and emotionally compatible with, your sexual desires might take a back seat and help you become more sexually disciplined.

Stop resorting to instant gratification

With the increased availability and accessibility of the internet, it’s become very easy to watch adult content online. Although the debate is still ongoing about pornography’s detrimental effects on your brain, there’s still some merit to the warnings.

Regularly visiting adult websites will cause your perception of sexual intimacy to change. It will be harder for you to stay sexually disciplined if you’re constantly watching hyped-up, sometimes unrealistic sexual encounters online.

Instead of watching porn, focus your energy on meeting new women on AdultFriendFinder, and set realistic boundaries for your sexual preferences.

Explore a new hobby

If you notice yourself getting sudden and frequent sexual urges, a good way to tackle that is by investing your time and energy into trying out a new hobby. When you sit idle, your mind might wander off to thoughts about making love. However, if you keep yourself engaged in a new hobby, your mind will stop having these random thoughts.

Developing a deep passion for a hobby will give you the same, if not higher, dopamine rush when you see yourself making progress. Replacing the reward mechanism in your brain is a tough task and usually takes a long time to execute. But once you successfully replace sexual desire with a healthy hobby as your source of dopamine, you will find it easier to be sexually disciplined. Being passionate about something also makes a man sexually attractive to women.

Learn about human psychology and discipline

Men often fail at achieving a healthy sex life due to a lack of knowledge. Another issue is the lack of awareness of how human psychology works and how you can leverage it to your advantage.

To mitigate this, try to read books on human behavior. Not only will reading make you more knowledgeable, but it will also help you recollect your thoughts and calm down.

Moreover, these books usually have tips you can follow to help you easily adopt a new habit. A good suggestion would be “Come as you are: The surprising new science that will transform your sex life.” You'll have a better idea about how to approach your sex life in general.

Practice empathy

Practicing empathy with his partner

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. Practicing empathy can help us understand our partner's needs and desires and be respectful of their boundaries. It can also help us avoid engaging in behavior that is harmful to others.

To practice empathy, try to put yourself in your partner's shoes and consider how they might feel about a particular sexual activity. Listen to their concerns and be open to their feedback.

Once you listen to their feedback and think about it, you will realize that empathizing with your partner’s preferences is essential to having a healthy sex life along with more pleasurable love-making sessions for both of you.

Consult a sex therapist

If you are struggling with sexual addiction, compulsive behavior, or other issues related to sexual behavior, it is vital to seek professional help. Multiple resources, including therapy, support groups, and online resources, can help you address these issues and maintain healthy sexual behavior.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. It’s best to address alarming sexual behavior as early as possible. It will be beneficial for your mental well-being in the long run.

Being sexually disciplined as a man involves making conscious choices about your sexual behavior, respecting your’s and your partner's boundaries, and being mindful of the consequences of your actions. This is not to be confused with sexual repression, which means no sex at all.

You can have a pleasant and positive sexual experience with your partner if you're disciplined enough to understand your sexual needs as individuals and as a couple.

We hope this article was helpful in guiding you so you can implement these practices efficiently.

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