No man wants to date a high-maintenance woman. The question is: how can you tell before it’s too late? In this article, we’ll be focusing on the 10 red flags and warning signs that an older woman is emotionally damaged, high maintenance or both.
Our list of 10 warning signs will help you determine if she’s not relationship material. If she exhibits any of these signs on a regular basis, run!
For your convenience, we’ve split these into five signs you’re dating a high-maintenance woman and five traits of a toxic person.
5 Signs You’re Dating A High-Maintenance Woman
If a woman starts exhibiting these behaviors while you’re going out together, you can be sure you’re dating a high-maintenance girl.
1. She’s excessively needy
Dating a woman who’s needy may not seem like a big deal — at first. In the early stages of the relationship, being the center of her universe can be pretty flattering. But, as time goes on, having to constantly reassure her of her value can get pretty old as can her jealousy and constant need to check in with you when you’re apart.
It comes down to this: a healthy, well-adjusted woman will have no need to know where you are and what you’re doing every minute of the day. She won’t feel threatened if you have attractive female colleagues or friends, and she won’t need you to constantly build her up.
That is the kind of woman you deserve — not a needy, clingy woman who can’t control her own emotions and feelings.
Now keep in mind that being just a tiny bit needy isn’t always a bad thing. If there’s an older woman in your life and she seems to always want to spend time with you, she might just be showing that she likes you. It’s when this behavior becomes too intense and constant that you know you’re dating a high-maintenance girl.
It’s possible to put an end to this behavior by having a polite chat with her. Tell her you’re flattered with all the love and affection, but that it’s too much. In many cases, a girl will take that warning and tone down her neediness. However, those with particularly low self-esteem might find it hard to curb her jealous attention-seeking ways.
2. She takes (but never gives)
This type of woman wants the world on a silver platter. She expects you to take care of her and meet all of her needs. But she will give little thought to reciprocating. She’s entitled, pure and simple.
While it’s important to cherish and look after the woman in your life, you also deserve consideration. If the woman you’re with expects you to always pay, to always meet her needs, to pleasure her without a thought for your own pleasure, it’s a major red flag. You’ll end up resentful and exhausted with nothing to show for all the time you’ve invested in her.
If you’re looking for signs you’re being used by a woman, take a note to see if she even tries to pay for half of a date. If she expects you to pay for her whole lifestyle, you’ve got a high-maintenance woman on your hands. It’s also one of the biggest signs that you’re being used by a woman!
Often, this type of woman will parade as a “traditional” woman. She will try to shame you for not wanting to be a “traditional” man. But, if she’s not being traditional in wanting to shower you with love and affection, then it’s time to ask yourself what you’re actually getting out of the relationship.
To avoid getting into a relationship with a woman like this, it’s best to set the standards early on. If you pay for everything just to make this woman initially like you, she might have every right to keep expecting you to give her the world, without offering anything of value in return.
3. She never takes responsibility for her actions
A woman who never takes responsibility is exhausting to be around. Not only does she never admit fault, but she’ll also never apologize and will always find a way to place the blame on others. This is incredibly immature and extremely unattractive, especially if she’s meant to be more mature.
She might insist that she’s always right, so there’s no point arguing. In fact, she’ll twist the story or even out-and-out lie to make it sound like she’s in the right. As her partner, you’ll often find yourself having to take the blame for her bad decisions.
A woman like this is either shallow and immature or a narcissist — and neither makes for a happy relationship.
4. She loves drama
A drama queen can initially look like a lot of fun. She’s usually the life of the party and is loud, funny and boisterous. Perhaps that’s what drew you to her in the first place. The problem is, a drama queen has no off button. She constantly needs drama to lend excitement to her life. Often, she’ll have an incredible habit of creating drama out of nothing.
As her boyfriend, you’re the most likely to be in the firing line. With this type of woman, every mistake you make could be made to seem like the end of the world. Even if you’re behaving perfectly, this woman could take aim at other women who she suspects of trying to get close to you. It’s like a soap opera being with this type of woman; the problems never end.
Most men want a woman who brings peace to their life after a hard day of work. But this woman is most happy when there are problems or issues to deal with. She won’t be content with anything less. So, unless you also thrive on drama, you’ll find this type of woman exhausting!
5. She doesn’t want to hang out with your friends or family
Relationships are supposed to be about compromise. You agree to become a key part of each other’s lives and this sometimes involves making sacrifices to hang out with your significant other’s loved ones.
If she complains about having to spend time with your friends and family or acts like she’s doing you a big favor simply by showing up at a family event, that’s a telltale sign that your girlfriend is highly self-absorbed.
Any woman you’re with should do her best to fit in with your family and friends. That is what normal, well-adjusted people do for each other when they’re in a relationship. Even if your family isn’t that welcoming, the effort should still be there at least.
If she makes no effort to be friendly with your family and friends, the woman is clearly high-maintenance and will cause you nothing but grief in your relationships with others.
Give this woman a bonus red flag if she still complains when you don’t want to hang out with her friends. There are women like this out there; there is seemingly no limit to their narcissism.
5 Traits of a Toxic Person
If you’re wondering what are the signs of a toxic person, keep reading. All too often we find ourselves in the company of a really terrible person, but we just ignored or missed the signs. So if you want to make your life easier and just avoid people who exhibit these signs, you should know about these five traits of a toxic person. Look out for them both when you’re dating or when you’re making friends.
1. She’s rude to people serving her
Keep an eye on how your partner treats staff who are serving her. This is always one of the clearest signs of a toxic person.
If an older woman is disrespectful to servers at restaurants, retail workers in stores or her masseuse at a spa, this indicates she has little regard for the feelings of others. Whether she’s rude verbally, rolls her eyes or makes snide remarks after the server has left, it’s a pretty good sign that she’s not compassionate or kind.
The question you need to ask yourself is this: Do you want to be with someone who tries to make herself feel more powerful at others’ expense? Because if she acts like that with those serving her, chances are, she’ll be rude to your friends and family too.
2. She talks trash about exes or friends
Notice how the vibe of the whole room gets worse when someone starts gossiping? It creates an awkward feeling and toxic energy throughout the whole group. Maybe you’ve already felt it in the past.
If you’re with an older woman who badmouths former partners or even friends and family members, we can guarantee you this: when you’re not around, she’s putting you down too.
A woman who feels the need to constantly find fault with people is either extremely arrogant or very insecure. Arrogant people will always believe they have the right to put others down while insecure people will do so to try to feel better about themselves.
Either way, this is not a woman you want to be with — no matter how hot she is.
3. She doesn’t encourage you
A good partner will cheer your triumphs and encourage you to get back up when you fall down. She’ll compliment you and build you up.
If you’re in a relationship with an older woman who doesn’t do any of those things, it’s a definite red flag. A woman who can’t celebrate her partner’s victories or help him through a rough patch is either so self-absorbed that she needs everything to revolve around her — or, she has low self-esteem and feels the need to bring you down to her level.
Neither is healthy and will only breed discontent in your relationship. Once again, if you’re with a woman like this, it’s worth asking yourself what you’re actually getting out of being with her.
4. She’s offended if you disagree with her and she thinks she’s always right
If you're with an older woman who seems pretty thin-skinned about the opinions of others or won’t listen to someone else’s point of view, take warning. A relationship with this type of woman will never be harmonious.
She’ll be offended if you disagree with her and will not listen to you even if you offer constructive criticism. She’ll either act like your opinion is a personal attack against her. Or she will look down at you for not agreeing with her obviously superior knowledge.
If the woman you’re with exhibits this type of behavior, you’re in for a lot of frustration if you stay with her.
You can expect to be walking on eggshells whenever you’re around her. You'll be afraid to say the wrong thing in case you set off her temper again. It is NOT normal to be in a relationship like this, and frankly, you deserve better.
5. She insults you (directly or indirectly)
If the woman you’re with insults you, even indirectly, she’s demonstrating contempt for your feelings, pure and simple. Now keep in mind that this doesn’t exclude jokes that you’re in on. It’s okay if couples have cute little “insults” for each other as long as you’re both laughing about it. But if the insults hit a little too close to home and she doesn’t stop even if you ask her to, then that’s a huge red flag.
She may be the type who puts people down by offering backhanded compliments. These are the kind that make her seem like she’s being kind. But in fact, she’s being anything but.
This type of behavior is unhealthy in a relationship because it’s an obvious ploy to undermine your self-confidence so that she can feel better about herself. Sooner or later, she might have you feeling so low and that you’ll be convinced that no one will love you but her. This type of relationship can ruin your mental health for months or years after you’ve broken up. See this guide on poison drips in relationships to learn more.
Your best bet to prevent this type of behavior is to call it out after the first time it happens. Let her know that you won’t tolerate that type of disrespect, even if it’s an indirect insult. Hopefully, that’ll show her you’re not the type of guy who takes disrespect from his own partner. If she continues, you’ll have no choice, but to show her the door.
If you’re in a relationship with an older woman — or are thinking about starting one — you need to make sure she’s worth your time and energy. After all, you don’t just want to dive into a relationship simply because she’s hot. You have to get to know her first. And once you do, you should also watch out for some red flags.
This guide will hopefully leave you well-prepared to spot the signs of a toxic person or high-maintenance girl. This will make sure you’re not in a relationship with one for very long at all.