Overall, she seems great and you’d like to get to know her better. The only problem is that she is moving too fast for you and takes up more of your time than you like. She sends you texts regularly and calls often. She expects you to dedicate a lot of your time to her and takes it personally when you’re unavailable. This type of behavior is common for a stage 5 clinger.
A woman can become a stage 5 clinger after having sex with you and during your relationship. Being with such a woman can present unpleasant situations that affect your social and work life. You need to know how to deal with her and possibly opt for cutting her out of your life.
It’s also important to understand fully what a stage 5 clinger is so that you can identify her and decide the appropriate course of action.
What is a Stage 5 Clinger?
A woman is a stage 5 clinger when she is obviously needy. She became attached soon after meeting you and shows signs that she craves your attention. She bombards you with messages to the point that she seems obsessed with you.
This type of woman is in a rush to move things forward. You may have gone on only a few dates, but she acts as if you two are in a relationship. If you two already are a couple, she expects you to spend a lot of time with her — to the point that your social life becomes all about her.
She might demand that you spend less time with your friends or on your hobbies just so that she becomes the center of your focus. Controlling and obsessive are two traits she exudes vehemently. Don’t be surprised when she accuses you of being selfish or inconsiderate when your plans don’t involve her. She is driven by insecurity and jealousy.
You can expect her to be around you all the time and not respect your alone time. When she sees you interacting with another woman, she assumes that you’re cheating, more interested in the other woman, and that you don’t respect your relationship with her. This is exacerbated when the two of you aren’t even in a relationship, yet she acts like it.
It’s common for her to have mood swings, and disrespect your boundaries. That includes looking at your phone when you haven’t given her permission. Invading your privacy isn’t a problem for her because she wants assurance that nobody can distract you from her.
If that wasn’t bad enough, she may even turn into a stalker. Because she’s likely to have trust issues, she may be at most places where you are or follow you without your knowledge.
How to Deal with a Stage 5 Clinger
You might be in the early dating stages with her and the behaviors she exhibited aren’t too off-putting, but they’ve provided clues about potential red flags. It’s important for you to ensure that her behavior doesn’t get progressively worse, so you need to set the right tone from the start.
Beating around the bush with a stage 5 clinger isn’t going to cut it. You need to be direct and express your feelings. It’s unnecessary to be rude or arrogant, but you must be firm. Chances are, women who are extremely clingy tend to deal with cognitive dissonance in an unhealthy way. She might be in a state of extreme denial whenever you rebuff her advances, so giving her hints may not work.
She needs to understand clearly that you have a life that doesn’t involve her and it’s nothing personal. Use a neutral tone and be careful of your word selection. Don’t call her degrading names such as stalker, this might anger her and raise her shield, and she might misinterpret your intentions and become defensive.
Your conversation with her shouldn’t be an argument. It’s an opportunity to let her know how you feel without being mean.
She’ll know what line not to cross only if you’ve set boundaries. Use this opportunity to be specific. She needs to know that you are busy at work and cannot answer texts or take her calls.
Tell her that you need to make time for gym and friends. The two of you don’t have to spend every weekend together because you use that time to start a side hustle. And it’s fine to let her know the specific hours you want to dedicate to being alone.
Judge her reaction to your boundaries. If she reacts with anything other than acceptance, she’ll likely not respect the boundaries. This is not a time for negotiations. The rules are set in stone and need to be abided by.
The point of boundaries isn’t only to let her know the behavior you expect; you should also let her know the consequences. If the consequence is you cutting off all ties with her, she’s more likely to respect your boundaries.
Discuss her clinginess
Clingy women have different reasons for being possessive and jealous. You’ll do yourself and her a favor by finding the root of her clinginess. Knowing that will help you determine if you could ever be in a relationship with her.
She could be grappling with a small issue that’s easily solvable, and you may help her get over it. That could make her a more pleasant partner and feel grateful to you. There is also the possibility that her clinginess is more pathological. She may have experienced instability or even trauma in her life that makes her too attached to anyone she latches onto.
However, she may show signs of clinginess even after you were direct, established boundaries, and discussed her clinginess. You may need to get her out of your life without getting a restraining order.
You’re not wanting to commit
Tell her that you’re not interested in a relationship or casual dating. You want to use that statement generally so she feels that it’s not just with her. Otherwise, she may interpret that as an opportunity to change so that you see her in a different light and give her another chance.
Make it clear to her that you have other things going on in your life and there’s no time for anything other than work and hobbies.
Cut all ties with her
She needs to receive the message loud and clear, and that means not leaving any channel open for communication. Remove her from all of your social media connections and block her number on your phone. Since everyone is connected through social media and their online presence, this is one of the best ways you can show here that you're not interested in her at all. If all your mutual friends would be understanding, let a few of them know that you're blocking her and that you would appreciate it if they would avoid giving her any details about your life. If they're as clingy as her, however, maybe block them too.
Outside of your online world, you can also do what you can to avoid her in real life. Quit going to your common haunts for a few weeks (or months). Don't hang out with friends who might suddenly invite her. If she's unavoidable because of shared social circles, let a few close friends know that you want to avoid her. They may help put up a barrier between you and her to keep her from getting too close to you.
Turn her off
In the event that you run into her or cannot avoid her because she may be a work colleague, do things that turn her off. If ignoring her doesn’t do the trick, communication with her needs to repulse her. That doesn’t mean being rude to her.
Think of your flaw or something that she doesn’t like about people. It could be coughing without covering your mouth or swearing. You want to accentuate this behavior so that she is turned off by you at the moment and when she thinks about the interaction later at home.
Preferably, you want to exhibit several things that really irritate her. If she’s baffled by your new behavior, you can tell her that is the person you have become. She may do you a favor and run for the hills.