What to Talk About with Your Girlfriend to Increase Your Intimacy and Connection

Knowing what to talk about with your girlfriend will make her smile

Attraction is about more than getting physical. Sure, when two people are attracted to each other there is a physical connection. Sexual attraction alone, however, will burn itself out eventually unless you know what to talk about with your girlfriend.

If you want to learn how to grow the spark between you and your girlfriend, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve created a helpful guide that will teach you how to take intimacy and attraction with your lady to the next level.

No, you don’t have to have a perfect physique or be a kama sutra expert. In fact, the best weapon to have in your seduction arsenal is words. Yup, you heard us right. One of the keys to building attraction with a woman is knowing how to talk to her.

Intrigued? Read on for our suggestions on the best questions and topics to talk about with your girlfriend. We can guarantee you that she’ll respond favorably if you follow our tried and true advice.

What to Talk About with Your Girlfriend

Having a discussion with your girlfriend is one thing. Having a conversation that increases your attraction for each other is quite another. It's hard enough to find and meet single women you're interested in, now that you've found her working to improve your connection is well worth the time. These are some of the best topics for taking your relationship to the next level.

1. Tell her what you love about her

Everyone likes receiving a compliment, and your girlfriend is no exception. That doesn’t mean you should just say something like “you’ve got beautiful eyes” and leave it at that, however.

To truly build attraction and increase intimacy between you, you need to do more than just give her a passing compliment.

You can start the conversation by telling your girlfriend what first attracted you to her. Again, try not to default to something simple like the beautiful eyes line. The best way to really light a spark between you and her is to mention something physical and non-physical together.

For instance, “You know, it was really hard for me to keep my eyes off of your legs on our first date. You looked so sexy in that short skirt. But what really sealed the deal for me was how much you made me laugh. I always have so much fun with you.”

This double-whammy compliment will not only increase the attraction between you — because she will always respond to your approval — but it can lead the conversation in a number of different directions. She may respond in kind with what she liked about you, or she may respond with some flirty banter. And you know where that’s likely to lead. This is a pretty basic component of learning how to talk to any girl and build attraction but it works.

Even if you’ve exhausted what you noticed about her on your first date, telling her what you love about her will never grow old. Finding new ways to have this conversation is as simple as coming up with new things you appreciate about her or reiterating the same things in new ways.

2. Share a secret with her

Nothing creates intimacy like trust. And the ultimate show of trust is sharing a secret — something no one or very few people know about you. When you make yourself vulnerable enough to share something very personal, it will deepen your relationship on every level.

If you’re surprised by this, don’t be. Your girlfriend will appreciate it when you can talk about your secrets. It’s not only flattering that you trust her that much, but it’s also a sign to her that you’re willing to go deeper with her. And that, in turn will make her feel more secure in your relationship.

Once you take the initiative to share something, you’ll likely find that you both begin to share more with each other, deepening your connection.

3. Share your dreams with her

Just like sharing secrets will bring you closer, so too will sharing your dreams with her. When you can open up to one another about your dreams for the future — be it for careers, family or travel — it creates a special bond between you.

Keep in mind that this is a crucial topic that's worth talking about in a relationship. When you talk about your dreams with each other, it can show you if your plans for the future actually match. If you have similar goals for the future, that's great! However, if your dreams for the future are different, you can talk to your girlfriend about how either of you can compromise.

Best Questions to Ask Your Girlfriend

To introduce a topic to talk about with your girlfriend, you may sometimes want to lead with a question. Let’s look at the top four questions to ask your girlfriend to increase the attraction between you.

1. What’s your guiltiest pleasure?

This is the type of question that could be completely innocent or very naughty. It all depends on where her mind takes her after you ask.

She could respond with something as simple as devouring a favorite dessert, reading trashy romance novels or singing along to cheesy loves songs. If you want something simple like this, there’s really no wrong time to pose the question.

If, however, you want a more intimate answer, you’ll need to do your part to get her thinking sexier thoughts. Asking this question while nuzzling her ear, running a finger down her bare arm or sensuously rubbing her feet is bound to get her mind going in more of an R-rated direction. This is an especially good question when you're dating and older woman and want to keep things progressing.

If she needs a little encouragement, tell her what your guiltiest pleasure is first. How sexual you get will depend on if you’ve already slept together, of course. So plan your answer accordingly. If you haven’t done the deed yet, starting with something a little tamer will ensure you don’t make her feel uncomfortable.

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2. What are the top 3 things you think about every day?

This is another one of the questions that can be innocent or racy, depending on your girlfriend’s mindset.

One of the best ways to set this question up for her to answer is by asking her what she thinks your top three thoughts are each day. Once you’ve answered, you can ask her to respond in kind.

Again, how racy you get will depend upon how sexually intimate you are. If you haven’t slept together yet, keeping your answers more romantic than sexual may be your best bet. You can say you think about how much you want to see her, how much you want to kiss her and how dazzling her smile is.

If you’re sleeping together, feel free to get sexier with your answers. All women like knowing their man is hot for them. So don’t be afraid to tell her how much her body and bringing her pleasure plays on your mind.

Once you’ve got the ball rolling, she’s sure to respond in kind. And this is the type of conversation that will be sure to have a happy ending.

3. What to talk about with your girlfriend to boost her confidence: What do you think is your best physical feature?

This is the type of question that she may be a bit self-conscious to answer for fear of sounding arrogant. You can encourage her by adding that you have several favorite features but you’ll only tell her if she answers first.

She’ll be so eager to know all the things you find attractive about her that she’ll get over any shyness she might have to answer that kind of question.

Once she has answered you, tell her something you really like about her appearance. Please don’t tell her she “has a great ass” or “a nice rack.” Really put some thought into it. You can say how much you love her smile when she sees something funny on Instagram or how you can’t take your eyes off her when she’s engaged in a heated debate.

Then encourage her to return the favor with you. Being comfortable enough to share these kinds of observations with each other will definitely increase the intimacy between you.

4. Do you have any unfulfilled fantasies?

Just like the other questions on the list, her answer could be innocent or naughty. Not all fantasies are about sex. So don’t be disappointed if she gives you a non-sexual answer.

Perhaps her fantasy is more about romance than physical gratification, or maybe she’ll surprise you with a bold sexual request. Either way, learning about your girlfriend’s fantasies not only gives you the information you need to try to fulfill them, it shows her that you want to make her happy.

Just make sure you act on the information you’re given. Doing your best to make her fantasies come true is a huge opportunity to show her how you feel about her. And nothing will make her want to get closer to you than that kind of thoughtfulness and generosity.

Final Thoughts on What to Talk about with Your Girlfriend

If you want a closer, more intimate relationship with your girlfriend, talking is one of the best ways to achieve it. Our suggestions will not only up your conversation game, it’s sure to increase the attraction between you and your lady ten-fold.

If you have any suggestions that have worked for you, let us know in the comments below.

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