How hard is it to compliment a woman? You just think of something you like about her, then you say it. Easy, right? Well if it’s that easy, how come the girls you like aren’t responding to your compliments the way you want them to? So the question should be: do you know how to compliment a girl properly? And do you know the best compliments to give a girl to make her want you?
Here a hint… it means taking the time to think of something to say to her that you didn’t borrow from your mate or one of those online articles written by a guy without a clue.
For a compliment to carry, it first needs to always be genuine and come from your heart. Because most women have brilliant BS detectors.
How to Compliment a Girl
Some dating coaches will tell you to never compliment a woman during the courtship phase.
This advice is given because women LOVE the thrill of chasing a man. When a man over-compliments a woman, it can kill the mystery of whether they will get together and kill the excitement of dating him for her. Still, it’s probably too extreme to say you should never be giving compliments.
However, you need to quit the habit of complimenting a woman to try and make her like you. A woman can tell when you’re doing this, and it usually has the opposite effect. You’ll usually be in the same category of losers who try to win a girl’s heart by supplicating and being a “nice guy.”
A better strategy is to compliment a woman when she says or does something that actually impresses you. Something that would impress you if a man does it too. It’s also a great way to get a girl to talk to you.
Also, don’t make a big deal out of the compliment, unless she really has told you something mind-blowing. This is the best way to compliment a girl that’s better for both of you. You don’t come off as desperate for her approval and she gets the feeling that she actually earned your compliment.
The best compliments to give a girl are based on things she actually worked hard for. That’s why complimenting a girl on her looks tends to fall flat. She didn’t earn her beauty, plus she probably hears that she looks great all the time. Compliments like this put you in the category of “every other loser,” so they’re likely to hurt your chances of dating this woman.
When you compliment a woman, don’t wait and search for her reaction. Remember, you should be giving a compliment just to give it, not to get a positive reaction or to make her like you.
How to Compliment a Girl on Her Looks
Although complimenting a girl on her looks can often fall flat, there is a way to do it effectively. You just need to know how to compliment a girl on her looks.
Focus on something that she had to earn
When you compliment something the other person didn’t have to earn, it rarely makes much of an impact.
Funnily enough though, most guys are complimenting girls on their eyes or their smile. Or, even worse, they’re delivering eye-rollingly generic compliments like “you’re beautiful!”
These types of compliments barely register for a beautiful woman. She was born that way and hears about it all the time.
If you are going to compliment a woman on her looks, focus it on something that she worked on. This could be her fashion sense, her tattoos or the way she styled her hair. You can also compliment her on how gracefully she moves or how she carries herself.
Don’t be too crude
Using the logic above, you might think it’s OK to compliment a girl on her body, especially if she’s clearly into the fitness lifestyle.
However, you’ll usually be treading on thin ice when you do this. A compliment on a woman’s body can easily be perceived as crude if you’ve just met. Compliments on her tits or ass will almost always be perceived this way.
You don’t want to come across as a thirsty pervert, so it’s usually best to avoid complimenting her body, at least while you’re still getting to know each other.
When a man or a woman hears the same compliment over and over again, it begins to lose impact.
If you want your compliment to land, it’s good to add some unique spice to it. An easy way to do this is to make an assumption about her, based on the thing you’re complimenting her.
“I like your style, it makes me think you’re probably working in the fashion industry.”
“Your tattoos are great, they make me think you’re adventurous and probably a bit of a trouble-maker”
“You walk so confidently. You really come across like a woman who is in charge of her life.”
These little assumptions can transform a compliment from being bland to unique and unforgettable.
The Best Compliments To Give A Girl You Should Try
You may now have some idea of how to compliment a girl, but formulating an actual compliment isn’t that easy. To help you out, here are the best compliments to give a girl that you need to know about.
"I love how passionate you are about…."
This is a great example of how to give a compliment that is beyond skin deep.
For you to give a compliment like this, you will obviously have to pay attention when she’s talking. This compliment shows her that you’ve actually listened.
A lot of guys don’t. A lot of guys will just be staring at a woman and wondering what she looks like naked. Don’t be that guy.
A compliment like this will also show her that you care about more than looks and respect her ideas and values.
That is a major turn-on for women.
Despite incredible female comedians and actors paving the way, society clings on to this archaic, patriarchal myth that women aren’t funny.
Some men also feel the need to live up to stereotypical male norms and be the “funny one” in the relationship. This ends up with them always trying to outshine their partner, or even stifle her humor, leaving her feeling unappreciated and not seen.
Men love receiving compliments on being funny, and it’s no different for women. So if she makes you laugh, tell her! This is not a competition.
And by doing so, you’ll demonstrate that you aren’t a sexist wally. It shows that you believe that women are and can be hilarious. So if you find her genuinely funny, give a girl this compliment and she'll appreciate it.
“I like that you’re not like everyone else.”
A word of warning here, this compliment is very different from saying, “you’re not like other girls,” which you should avoid at all costs. When you say this, you’re tarnishing the female species by implying that being like most girls is a bad thing.
What does that even mean anyway?
That most girls are evil?
Most girls love shopping and getting mani-pedis?
Most girls can’t change a tire?
But when you say, “you’re not like everyone else,” it removes the gender part, and makes anyone (man or woman) feel special.
It says that you see who she is--quirks, qualities and nature--and you appreciate her for all of it.
One of the best compliments to give a girl is to say, “I really enjoy spending time with you.”
What a wonderful thing to say to a girl. Wouldn’t you enjoy receiving a compliment like that?
I certainly would.
Telling a woman you enjoy being able to spend your precious time in her company is such a simple but sincere compliment to give someone. And an awesome way to make her smile.
There are a million things you could be doing instead of being sat here with this woman.
Watching the game, drinking beer with your mates, or hitting the gym.
But you’re here and you’re happy to be.
It doesn’t matter how little or long you’ve known someone--this is a great way to show someone how much they mean to you.
"When you talk about [X], it reminds me of…."
Similar to talking about her passions, one of the best ways to compliment a girl is to relate back to what she's saying to you.
This is a really intimate compliment to give a girl because what you're really doing is connecting an emotional or intellectual value with what she's saying.
For example, if you tell her, "the way you talk about that movie reminds me of how my favorite teacher would talk about film," you're telling her that you're valuing her intellect and it's resonating with you in an emotional way.
If that feels unnatural for you, try saying, "this made me think of you."
You're telling her that her interests and ideas are important to you.
"Your new haircut/shoes/glasses/dress looks great."
It’s a compliment on her appearance, but, as I said earlier, it’s about something that she willingly chose and not something she’s just born with.
Women like to see that a guy is paying attention. And complimenting her on the way she presents herself is very different from complimenting her on her body. It's one of the things girls like to talk about.
A word of wisdom: unless it's very noticeable, you might want to avoid giving a girl a compliment about her hair color.
Some women, especially women in their 30s and beyond, dye their hair to cover up a fading or greying natural color and won't appreciate you calling attention to it.
But if she's gone from brunette to platinum blonde, you have to mention it. Otherwise, she might read between the lines and think you hate it!
"I love your laugh."
While "you have a great smile" is one of those generic compliments that needs to be retired, telling her that she has a great laugh is one of the best compliments to give to a girl. You can use that when talking to a girl at a bar.
A genuine laugh means that she's letting her guard down and really expressing herself to you.
It's also worth noting that laughter releases endorphins and oxytocin, the "happiness" chemicals in our brains that encourage us to bond together.
This compliment subtly says that you enjoy seeing her happy and, in a way, you would like to make her happy.
"The way you [X] really inspires me"
Isn't that ultimately what we want out of a partner?
Someone who inspires us to be the best possible version of ourselves? It's a wonderful compliment to tell someone what you find inspiring and admirable about them.
Maybe she is active in a charity program making the world a better place.
Or she has just gotten an impressive promotion at work.
It can be something as simple as sticking to a goal to cook a healthy dinner at home a few times a week or bike to work.
This is a fantastic way to show her that, far from being insecure or intimidated by them, you respect and commend her for her success and determination.
Always Be Real When You Give a Girl a Compliment
The best compliments to give a girl should always come from your heart. When you speak from your heart, people can feel it.
You don’t need cheesy lines or to mimic what you’ve seen in chick flicks.
Be yourself. Be real. And be different.
And don’t be afraid to share how you feel. This goes a long way with women because it shows that you’re in touch with your emotions.
Follow these pointers, and you’ll make any woman feel valued, seen and heard.
Most of us aren’t looking for much more than that.