Knowing how to make a girl smile and laugh is probably one of the most important skills you want to master when it comes to dating. Whether you want to befriend a woman, date her or just get on her good side, knowing what to say to make a girl smile will take you far.
Of course, women are all different. What one considers worthy of a smile might make another cringe with embarrassment. So canned lines, pickup lines, and goofy antics will only work on a small percentage of women. With that in mind, we’ll give you tips on how to make a girl smile, no matter who she is and what your relationship is like with her.
So do you know what to say to a girl to make her smile? Let’s find out.
How to Make a Girl Laugh - The Ultimate Guide
Making women laugh, at the core of it, is the art of drawing connections between two completely unrelated ideas or objects that’s completely absurd. It's a creative activity. There's no math behind it. You cannot over-prepare for it. It's not something you can box or put down to an algorithm.
Your sense of humor, ability to make her laugh, tease her is dependent on your willingness to be polarizing and edgy. The thing about making women laugh and putting jokes out there is that a good percentage of them is going to fall flat. This is unavoidable.
Sometimes, I get a flat silence when I mouth off something ridiculous. Other times, I get a huge laugh. It’s a social risk I’m willing to take. The rule of thumb is this: if your joke falls flats don’t try to laugh at yourself or make fun of yourself. Just act as if nothing happens and move your conversational threads forward.
The best way to learn humor to help you make a girl laugh is to appreciate language and wit.
One of the ways to study stand-up comedy. You'll see me referencing stand-up comedians for the rest of this article. I remembered when I first started reading up. I'll stay up on Youtube to watch videos after videos of stand-up comedy. I started listening to comedians like Louis Ck and Chris Rock. I also attended a couple of improvisation classes. You can find these improv classes on MeetUp.Com or just Google them. They are often affordable.
Humour Techniques, The Your Bread and Butter
There's a good percentage of my clients that are the nice guy sort. They are good listeners, yes, however, most of them aren't willing to assert themselves in a more edgy, polarising manner. To get good at attracting women, you need to be somewhat edgy. Teasing her can go wrong. Saying something potentially offensive may piss her off.
There's a HUGE difference in being humorous, having a sense of humor, and teasing her. Yes, there are overlapping principles, however, the former is making jokes that she finds funny, the latter is eliciting a man-to-woman frame by making fun of her. The latter is more useful to elicit sexual polarity in your interactions
Teasing is when you make humorous comments that are derogatory about someone. You can tease her with just about everything: about how fake her hair looks. Or how red her shoes are. Try to be creative with this. When she dresses up, you can tell her she looks like some cartoon character from some movie.
Sarcasm DOESN'T comes off well in certain situations. In some cultures, women can be quite offended or don't react well to some good-natured ribbing. This can be quite true for the Singaporean or Asian culture. It all depends on who you are with. Some girls react well to more derogatory teasing, and some girls appreciate genuine compliments. Mix it up.
For the Singaporean readers: One classic line I used to do is to associate a girl with an 'ah lian' but in a light-hearted manner. The 'ah lian' is a stereotype for a girl who isn't that intelligent who's quite unkempt in the Singaporean context.
Teasing should be done in good fun, it should be said with a smile. The perfect tease creates a mixture of emotions in a girl: defensiveness yet happiness. An ideal reaction from her should be: 'Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that.' However, she's smiling and laughing at the same time.
Comedian to study: Russell Brand
- Stereotypes and Cultural References
This can be practiced by studying local comedians that perform to your local audiences. Stereotypes are poked fun at almost every local comedy show. Teasing can be done along with the concept of common stereotypes. Russell Peters does a good job and racial jokes. Singaporean comedians like Kumar exploits it by going into Chinese, Malay and Indian stereotypes. One good one I often use is the good girl/ bad girl stereotypes.
This is the safest form of humor where you joke about something outside of you and the girl. Exaggeration has to be something absurd and non-logical.
Comedian to Study: Russell Peters
The technique of misdirection is one of the most common and easiest forms of humor. Misdirection occurs when you begin to say something or tell a story which leads to the listener to believe you're making one point, but you proceed to say something completely different.
Here's a good example of misdirection: I use all the time is to joke with girls that I'm actually quite shy, after spending an entire evening being slightly cocky and extroverted. I'll also insert in at a point in the interaction where it's least expected, just for the extra effect.
- Role Plays
The technique of role plays is taken right out of the pickup artist textbooks.
They are playful and can be useful to spice up a stale interaction. You can role play girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, student/teacher, or any potentially sexual relationship. If she's your 'girlfriend', you can either break up or get together with her. If she's your 'wife', you can either divorce or marry her. One other role play and a slight dis-qualifier I use these days is complaining to some else that your ex-girlfriend (her) is bothering you.
Role-playing is fun and refreshing for a girl. Nobody ever does it.
Just like all other humor techniques, role-plays should be done in context. I used to do: 'I'll like to adopt you as my little sister' (as a minor disqualification). However, this rarely works for me anymore. Girls often take it in a wrong way where they'll think I'm not interested in her.
Here's one of the most useful flirting, humor techniques, misinterpretation. It's also a commonly known technique to answer 'shit tests'.
For example, if a girl says: 'I'm not too sure about that shirt you are wearing?'
You can misinterpret it as: 'I'm flattered you're thinking about my face, but hey slow down, didn't we just meet?' (done with a tongue in cheek manner)
This is basically misinterpreting anything a girl says as a compliment or a sexual advancement. However, be careful not to take it too far. Use it in context.
How to Make a Girl Laugh: Subjective Humor
If your sense of humor revolves around a darker or intellectual form of humor, not everyone is going to get it. My sense of humor revolves around sarcasm, word puns, and dark humor. Like making fun of dead babies, that sort. I've also rubbed people the wrong way.
Wordplays, puns, sarcasm, and swearing falls under the category of subjective humor. They aren't for everybody. However, if you find a girl that can connect you with such humor, then you're maybe hitting the lottery ticket.
- Wordplay and Puns
Wordplay is similar to misdirection. However, wordplay practices misdirection by using words that have different meanings.
Girl: 'Stop being so mean Marcus.'
Me: 'Stop calling me average.'
Puns and wordplays are even a rarer form of appreciated humor than sarcasm. They tend to be intellectual in nature. You’ll find a small demographic of women who’ll appreciate them.
Sarcasm is a darker form of humor than teasing and it doesn’t really work well with most of the girls. This is especially true with Asian women. Asian culture is a lot more reserved and sensitive. The majority of women won’t get sarcastic humor. It may be misconstrued as being serious and get confused. Sarcasm, in my experience, gets even worst on text. However, you’ll get the rare one or two women that understands sarcasm and she’ll love you for it.
- Role of Swearing
Inserting a 'fuck' in your jokes can give you cheap laughs. I use it quite a bit during my teenage years and it has given me lots of laughs and weird stares simultaneously.
Swear words can be used sparingly if there's a right delivery and you know that the person that you're communicating to is cool with little swear words here and there. With that being said, it's uncool to just base your conversations on too many swear words. It can show that you have a limited vocabulary.
Dropping an F-bomb in an already well-timed joke can make the joke even funnier. However, dropping an F-Bomb in everything you say can make you come off as unsophisticated.
Side note: Swearing should be used minimally in Asian situations. (especially when there is elder family around.)
- Self Deprecating Humor
There's a form of humor called self-deprecating humor. It’s the art of making jokes at yourself. There's a popular argument if someone that can laugh at himself and the world conveys a high level of confidence. He isn’t taking things too seriously or himself too seriously. He's not really concerned about someone else's perception of him. Compare this to someone who's very serious and unable to laugh at himself or the world. This conveys that he is over-invested in what others think of him and therefore is not confident.
I started off learning humor by studying Louis Ck. His style is humorous for him because he's overweight and balding. However, despite being humourous, he's not the kind the guy that women want to go home with. This is why for beginners if you’re making fun of yourself and putting yourself down to get a laugh, you'll come off as unconfident. You'll need to be aware based on context. If you're going out with a girl who's really shy around you. Putting yourself down and laughing at yourself can help her loosen up and open up.
How to Practice: Frame, Playfulness, Timing & Expression
Okay, knowing jokes or the lines isn't enough. There's an art to telling jokes, teasing a girl, or dropping an F-bomb. You need to pay attention to delivery, timing, and facial expressions. These techniques, unfortunately, can't be taught through words.
The best way to learn this is to watch stand-up comedians and watch their stand-up routines. Take note of how they interact with the audience, their style of humor, their routines, how they tell a story, and how they nail a punchline. Take note of how they time their jokes, their delivery, and their facial expressions when they make a joke.
One single sentence can be interpreted in multiple ways depending on you say it, deliver it. There are also often multiple meanings to words. These are known as innuendos. If you get good at timing, delivery, tonality, and facial expressions, you can use plain English to say something in a sexual manner. "I like beach walks that are long, wet, and hard".
Humor isn't to be studied logically like a Math exam. Humor is to be experienced creatively. If you are teasing her, it should be done with a smile, with a grin, and with tongue in cheek. You don't go up to her and 'execute the humor'. Making women laugh is a creative skill set that relies on free association. The better you can freely associate any social situation, the better you get.
Using Humour to Bring Up Sex
One of the best ways to use humor isn't to make her laugh, but to bring up sex in the conversation. If anything at all, the best use of humor is to use it to escalate physically with a girl. Openly talking about sex is a taboo topic in many cultures and many are uncomfortable talking about it. However, if you bring humor into sex, then it's a lot more acceptable.
Humor is commonly used by comedians to criticize sensitive issues or individuals in politics, as opposed to an outright assertion (that'll get you sued). This is the same for sex. If it's funny, you're not being creepy.
To take your interaction to a more sexual frame, using humor to bring up sex can grease the wheels. It's likely to get away with a controversial topic when it is funny.
Humor in Westernized Cultures as Compared to Asian Culture
The form of humor that works in an Asian dating culture is a lot different from the Westernized culture. In general, I find dark humor a lot more accepted in Western cultures. Not everyone responds well with a darker sense of humor.
I'll also stay away from religious jokes in most cultures. To give an example, the Singaporean culture has an interesting mix of a myriad of races and religions living cohesively. It's safe to say that you should avoid jokes that are sensitive to religion.
The best method is to train yourself to be universally funny. That is: humor that is relatable to all people, regardless of culture. Louis Ck does a good job at this within certain themes. He's able to express the nuances of humanity in a humorous way.
Caveat: Louis Ck has a self-deprecating style of humor that doesn't suit well for many personalities (including mine). Girls ultimately desire a confident man that doesn't poke fun at himself just to get laughs.
Being Funny as Cure-all in Getting Girls?
Finally, your sense of humor and your ability to make a girl laugh isn't a cure-all for your problems for attracting women. If she's smiling and laughing, your jokes must be working right? That's a pitfall that I fell into for a period of time.
If you over-rely on their ability to make a girl laugh, you'll end up as the dancing monkey or the 'entertainer' constantly seeking laughs from girls. You might find yourself over-reliant on quick wit and jokes to avoid asserting yourself romantically or sexually.
In general, if you're able to crack a joke or two, then humor isn't your main problem. If she's laughing but your interactions seem to go nowhere, then your problem is being sexually assertive with her.
How to Make a Girl Smile with Your Actions
They say actions speak louder than words, and that would appear to be the case when it comes to how to make a beautiful girl smile. There are plenty of non-corny things you can do to make your crush smile. And we’re talking about a genuine smile, not a polite one where she’s trying to save you some embarrassment.
Below, we’ll explore some of the best things you can do to make any girl smile.
Smile at her first
If you want to know how to make a girl smile, you better know how to smile yourself. It’s contagious!
The simplest way to brighten up her day is to smile at her first. A warm genuine smile can make anyone else feel better about their day. It’s called spreading happiness.
Wondering how to smile at a girl you like? The secret to offering a warm genuine smile is not to think about it too much and to actually be happy to see that person.
So, rather than being nervous about smiling in a sexy way, get out of your head and focus on how pleased you are to see your crush.
Give her a gift
You don’t have to spend a week’s wages on an extravagant gift to make a girl smile, although I’m sure this might excite some women.
The secret to making someone smile with a gift is to put some thought into it. Make it a gift that’s unique to this person’s personality. Something that shows that you listen to them and care about them. Pay attention to what she’s into and use that knowledge to get her a gift.
When a woman receives a gift that shows this, it can often make her happier than some generic expensive present. That’s when you’ll see the big heartfelt smile spread across a woman’s face.
Take her on a romantic date
Once again, it doesn’t have to be an expensive and fancy date to make a girl smile. It’s possible to be romantic and show a woman you care without spending all your money.
You can take her for a stroll on the beach or arrange a candle-lit dinner in your apartment, and that can still give her the tingles.
Whether you get her tickets to see her favorite band or show up with a bunch of her favorite flowers, the most important thing is to make an effort to show you care.
That’s the key to a romantic gesture.
Take her dancing
World-famous motivational speaker Tony Robbins is always preaching how “motion creates emotion”. Essentially, he’s saying it’s possible to change our mood when we change our physical state.
This partly explains why most women love to dance. It allows them to forget all their troubles and embrace their femininity. That’s why you’ll see the big smile across her face when her favorite song comes on in the club. If you can be the guy who invites her to go dancing, you’ll see that smile before you even set foot on the dancefloor.
Can’t make it outside? Put on her favorite song, grab her hands and bust some moves inside your house!
Be there for her
If there’s anything we want during the important moments of our life, it’s companionship. It’s all well and good being there for her on a Friday night at the bar.
It’s another thing being there for her after she’s had a horrible day at work, or to pick her up after her car has been clamped. These are the moments where you can show you really care about her.
What to Say to Make a Girl Smile
Smiling is essential in dating on so many levels. From her perspective, a smile makes her feel good. Even when you’re not happy making yourself smile has proven benefits. And while this is nice, you don’t want her to smile for the sake of it. You want her to feel good about you. And in turn, get her to talk to you.
But from your perspective, a smile can mean so much more. It’s your barometer of success. In a game of dating, a smile means keep going and a frown means brake hard. However, most women are reluctant to frown for fear of being considered grumpy or rude. So really, the smile is all you’ve got to go on.
Let your words show her your sense of humor
It’s no fluke older women regularly place a good sense of humor in their top-three most important factors in the search for a younger guy. However, most guys misinterpret this as a woman looking for a comedian and jump right in with a gag.
Having a good sense of humor doesn’t mean being able to deliver a stand-up routine. She’s looking for someone who can see the humor in everyday life, who doesn’t take themselves or experiences too seriously. She’s essentially looking for an optimist that can make situations funny and make her laugh about them.
Being amusing is easy. All you have to do is make observational comments without being cruel or rude. When your restaurant meal arrives cold say, “Looks like someone forgot to turn the oven on.” Don’t say, “Looks like someone graduated top place from The Idiot University.”
This tactic can also be used to start a conversation with a girl you like. When you catch someone’s eye waiting in line at the Post Office, say, “Maybe it would be quicker if I just took it myself.” And if you get a flicker of recognition, “May I offer to take yours too?”
It’s no mistake there’s a “good” in good sense of humor. Women don’t like spiteful comedy.
Part of being amusing includes being light-hearted.
Being light-hearted around her is relaxing and when a woman is relaxed, she’s more likely to smile. If she’s nervous, you can tell the funniest joke in the world and she’s not going to crack a smile. She might laugh out loud or grimace, but that’s not the same as a smile.
The secret to being light-hearted is to be cool, calm and prepared. If you’re on a date and you get to the restaurant only to find they’ve lost your reservation, it’s no problem. You’ve got a backup plan!
“No worries, there’s a new place that just opened up down the street. Let’s go take a look there.”
This is an example of how to turn a bad situation into a win and what to say to a woman to make her melt.
Talk and act like a gentleman
This one sounds easier than it really is. Most guys think being a gentleman means opening doors and pushing in chairs but it’s so much more. Of the utmost importance is your conversation and knowing what girls like to talk about. A gentleman knows what to say to a girl to make her smile.
The principal thing to remember is on your date she comes first. A lot of younger men think the date is all about impressing her – and it is. But if you want to impress her, concentrate on her, not you.
This means if your phone rings, you never say, “Let me just get this real quick.” You’re asking your date to sit there like a lemon while you focus on someone else. She’s not a robot you can put on standby until you’re ready to play again. When your phone rings, you say, “I’m so sorry. I must have forgotten to turn that off. How rude of me.”
This might make it sound like turning your phone off is part of being a gentleman, but it’s not. Leaving it on once gives you an opportunity to show her you know the rules. Saying, “I’m sorry”, for a small offense is extremely polite.
Again, this is an example of turning a bad situation into a good one. Knowing what to say to a woman to make her melt can be off the cuff and comforting.
Give her an honest compliment
In the last few years, younger guys seem to have lost the art of giving a girl a compliment. In turn, younger women have lost the art of receiving one. But if you’re dating older women, you may find your compliments are truly appreciated. However, giving a compliment is a serious undertaking.
First of all, it needs to be genuine. This means when you notice something about her and you admire it, this is what you need to compliment.
Clearly, you need to stay away from complimenting anywhere covered by her clothes. And certain body parts like knees and elbows won’t generate much of a smile. But anywhere on her face is a clear winner, as are her hands.
This is because her hands and face move and express her personality. Complimenting her ‘sparkling eyes’, ‘captivating smile’ or ‘delicate hands’ feels personal to her.
Stay away from talking about her hair, unless it’s clearly all her own length and color. No older woman wants to receive a compliment aimed at her stylist. There are just far too many pitfalls where things can go wrong to lean on this.
Have conversational topics prepared
If you’ve ever watched a reality dating TV show, you’ll have probably heard the guys say pretty corny stuff. You’ve likely seen them still get a smile too.
This is because the episode only shows you the key parts and use editing to tell a story. They very well could have edited a smile from another part of the date on to that lame joke to make the date seem better.
These shows are cut for time and privacy as well. If you could see the whole date, you’d see the producers feed the contestants topics. And just like those guys, having key topics ready is crucial to know what to say to a girl to make her smile.
In online dating, much of the information we have before a date is biometric and static. Aside from a small personal statement, there’s not much room for charm. Your first few dates are your chance to build rapport and secure some smiles.
The way to do this is with genuine, truthful anecdotes which give her a chance to respond and add her own experiences.
These might be things like when you adopted your dog from the pound, a vacation you took, a funny mishap at work, or a story about helping out a relative or neighbor. She might have a similar story to tell and then you can respond with, “Ah-ha, that reminds me of the time when I . . .”
Ask her questions to get to know her better
This is the most wonderful and easiest route to getting a smile out of a girl. Best of all, it’s one where she does most of the talking. Almost everyone likes to feel special and the center of attention. Asking someone questions does just this. You can use these questions to talk to a girl in a bar, for example.
But the questions you ask need to be well thought out. Knowing what to say to make a girl smile is also about knowing what things to avoid. You also need to know how to steer around dead-end subjects and closed questions.
Closed questions are those, which can be easily answered with a yes or a no. For example, “Do you like pizza”, “Have you ever been to LA?” or “Can you ski?” These are all closed questions. Once you’ve asked and she’s answered, you’ll need a new question.
“What was the best part of your day?”, “Who is your favorite Disney baddie?” or “What skill do you wish you had?” are conversation starters. They’re the type of questions that could make her smile and open up a little to you.
Say thank you
While you should be saying “please” and “thank you” automatically, this one comes at the end of the date. And it’s more than just a simple thank you.
If you like a woman and you ask her out and she agrees – and doesn’t stand you up – she’s taking a risk on you. Whether you’re paying for dinner or the two of you are going Dutch, or if it’s just one drink, she’s placing herself at your mercy.
No woman says “yes” to a date lightly. She must figure out ahead of time if you’re going to be polite to her, respectful and make her feel safe. She would also like to enjoy the time she spends with you and not have to wonder when she can politely leave.
So even if you’ve been the funniest, most complimentary and light-hearted date, you still need to recognize the trust she placed in you. So if you really want to know what to say to a woman to make her melt, it’s “thank you.” If you say it truthfully and with enough integrity, it will make securing a second date much easier.
You’ve now been presented with a dozen ways to make a woman smile. Now, there’s nothing stopping you from spreading happiness to all the women in your vicinity.
Here’s a quick tip to finish: Women are more likely to agree to your propositions when they’re feeling happy. So, whether you’re trying to ask her on a date, kiss her to invite her back to your place, it’s best to make your move directly after you’ve put that big smile on her face.
Best of luck!