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The 9 Best Honolulu Dating Apps & Sites (2024's Top Options)

Using the best Honolulu dating apps to find a date at the beach

You’re probably curious about the best dating apps in Honolulu and what it’s like to be single in this beautiful island community. Couples from all over the world travel to this paradise to fall in love, get married, or spend their honeymoons. Perhaps there’s something in the air in Honolulu that makes it easier to find love and bump into your soulmate? Or maybe it’s these three amazing dating apps and sites in Honolulu that make love (or something like it) so much easier to find:

SiteOur ExperienceOur RatingFree Trial Link
Best For Relationships
Experience Highlights
Experience Highlights
  • Easily the best option for long-term relationships
  • 75% of all online marriages start here
  • 70% of users meet their spouse within a year
  • In-depth signup and matching process
Try eHarmony
Best For Casual Fun
Experience Highlights
Experience Highlights
  • The best way to meet women for casual relationships
  • Best results for regular guys
  • Over 60 million active members
  • Not good for long-term relationships
Try AFF For Free
Great If You're Handsome
Tinder Highlights
Tinder Highlights
  • Great if you're pretty good looking
  • Very popular, especially if you're 18-22
  • Really focused on photos
  • Becoming more of a dating than hookup app
Try Tinder

Honolulu County may seem small, but there are actually nearly 1 million people in the area, not counting the tourists. Interestingly, almost 92% of people have a high school education, which is one of the highest percentages in the country. Additionally, love seems to last on the island, as divorce rates for both men and women are in the single-digit percentages​​.

That being said, dating in this paradise on earth is no different than dating in any city in the US. The only difference is that singles here are more laid back and very close to their friends and families. Chances are you’ll date someone who’s friends with a cousin or related to an old friend from school. Singles you will meet in Honolulu are also friendlier and know just what they want when it comes to relationships and their partners.

The pandemic may have made you hesitant to date, but you can talk to your matches before meeting them in person to plan safe meetups. So, if you’re ready to mingle and meet these exciting singles, we’ve curated the best dating apps for you to try. You can create an account and start looking at profiles. Who knows? You might be lucky enough to meet up with your matches at popular hangouts like Rumfire, Mai Tai Bar, and Off The Wall.

Honolulu Dating Apps: Our Methodology for Evaluating the Best Options

For our Honolulu audience, BeyondAges employs a tailored methodology to identify the best dating apps. Our approach is customized to suit Honolulu's unique dating environment, ensuring reviews are relevant and insightful.

Methodology Description Key Focus
Rigorous Testing In-depth analysis of dating apps, focusing on their suitability for the distinctive and relaxed dating atmosphere of Honolulu. App functionality, alignment with Honolulu's dating style
Anecdotal Experience Utilizing insights from dating experts with experience in Honolulu, integrating local dating customs and preferences into our reviews. Real-life dating scenarios in Honolulu
Expertise Drawing on extensive experience to provide advice that resonates with the laid-back and unique dating scene of Honolulu. Dating strategies, Honolulu-specific trends
Continuous Learning Continually adapting to new trends and methods in dating, especially those pertinent to Honolulu, ensuring our advice stays current. Emerging trends, innovative tactics in Honolulu
Local Focus Emphasizing the role of online dating in Honolulu's unique social landscape, including analysis of local apps, sites, and trends. Online platforms, communication trends in Honolulu
Community Engagement Building a local community by encouraging Honolulu readers to share their dating experiences, lending authenticity and local perspective to our app recommendations. Reader feedback, community interaction in Honolulu

Author Credentials:

Hey there! I'm Paul Cooper, your friendly neighborhood Dating Coach with Beyond Ages. I've spent a good chunk of my time diving deep into the dating scene, especially in beautiful places like Honolulu. I'm here to share my insights and experiences, guiding you through the bustling world of dating apps.

I'm not just a coach who dishes out advice from the sidelines. Nope, I've been in the trenches, understanding what it's like to navigate the complex yet exciting world of modern dating. My journey has led me to work closely with both men and women, helping them find their stride in the dating game, whether they're looking for a casual fling or a serious relationship.

Honolulu's dating scene is unique – it's a blend of laid-back island vibes and the hustle of city life. I've explored this scene extensively to bring you the best dating app options out there. From sunny beach meetups to cozy cafe dates, I've got a treasure trove of stories and experiences that have shaped my understanding of what works (and what doesn't) in Honolulu's dating world.

My goal is to empower you with confidence and the right tools, so you can navigate these waters with ease. Whether you're a local or just visiting, I'm here to help you make meaningful connections and maybe, just maybe, find that special someone in this island paradise. So, let's dive in and explore the best dating apps in Honolulu together!

Affiliate Disclaimer:

We receive a commission for purchases made via Beyond Ages links. This does not impact our review or comparison integrity. We aim to offer fair and balanced assistance in your decision-making. Opinions on Beyond Ages are our own. Always verify product or service details with the respective companies. We have financial ties with some companies mentioned and always aim for up-to-date information.

#1 - Hily (Android; iOS) makes online dating more exciting

Hily Android features

Hily is a fun dating app that humanizes online dating as you can video chat with your matches. The app’s name is an acronym that stands for, “Hey, I like you,” as many users find genuine connections on it. Hily makes online dating much more fun as you can use ice breakers or complete compatibility checks to connect with your matches in different ways.

Hily also makes video chatting with strangers safer and easier as all chats are done directly through the app. So, you don’t need to worry about exchanging contact details too early. Video chatting with your matches also eliminates the chance that they’re catfishing you, so you can safely crush on the hot singles you meet.

Why we love Hily

  • Use conversation prompts to avoid awkward pauses
  • Get to know your matches easier through video chatting
  • All users are verified

What we don’t like about it

  • Free features are limited
  • If you don’t like video chatting, this may not be the app for you

What people think of Hily

Chris - TrustPilot

I've gotten more dates here than Tinder, Bumble or Hinge. Almost every dating app is a scam now. At first look, Hily looks like a sketchy generic dating app, but it gets the job done. I've hooked up with multiple people from here.



#2 - eHarmony (Android; iOS) can't be beaten for long-term relationships

Android eHarmony

eHarmony is extremely popular here and has an amazing track record of helping Honolulu locals find long-term partners by using matching algorithms. This app does the best job of matching you up with compatible potential mates that we've seen.

You don't have to scroll for hours. The app does all of the tough work for you. Of course, you might not make a perfect connection outside of the algorithms, but it usually works like magic. The toughest part is answering all the questions. It's important because this is how they match you with other single people. You can build chemistry before you even meet.

Need more info on how eHarmony works for a regular guy? We’ve created an eHarmony review where you can see how the site works, how you can meet people, and how you might one day find love online!

If you're serious about finding long-term partners this is the site for you.

Why eHarmony is one of the best dating sites in Honolulu

  • The best success rate out there for long-term relationships
  • 70% of users find their future spouse within a year
  • Makes it pretty easy to form connections

What we don’t like about it

  • It definitely takes more time than most to get started
  • Not super popular with those 18-22

What people think of eHarmony

Bill - Google Play

eHarmony is safe and reliable. No additional hidden fees and no "partner" sites adding to confusion and more fees. I feel safer here with no surprises. No auto renewals without reminders and consent.

Linda Jay - Google Play

it's a great platform to meet people you can chat too and maybe take it further. I feel safe as a female chatting to males I think i may like by reading their profiles and looking at their photos. it's rare for me as a women of 69 years to be in any place where I would chat to another male accept for friends and acquaintances. thank youE harmony for such a great app.

What’s your experience been like using eHarmony in Honolulu? Comment below and share your experience with the BeyondAges community.



#3 - SilverSingles (Android; iOS) is one of the best dating sites in Honolulu for people over 50

Silver Singles on iOS

Just because you’re over 50 doesn’t mean it’s the end of the line for you. When it comes to love and romance, age is no issue! SilverSingles is one of the best Honolulu dating apps that will help you meet someone new. Someone that you can build a good connection with. And someone that you can hopefully fall in love with.

It’s exclusively for singles 50 years old and above. Just like other dating apps and sites, there will be a profile verification during the sign-up process. This is because it aims to promote a safe environment for members and to detect fake or fraudulent accounts.

Whether you’re looking for a serious romance or a casual companionship, SilverSingles delivers a lot of great potential matches. And you don’t need to worry about fast-paced dating like with other dating apps. You can go at your own pace and take it slowly but surely.

Why it works

  • Lots of useful information on member profiles
  • Focused on personal compatibility
  • Strict safety and privacy guidelines

What we don’t like about it

  • Photos can only be viewed on a paid subscription
  • Small user base, so you might end up with matches on the other end of Hawaii

What people think of SilverSingles

Stan Stricklend - TrustPilot

good website, great support, but expensive

The support was very good. At 1st, like most websites these days, you expect miserable support. On SilverSingles support turned out to be very good. Answered all my questions in about a days time. A bit expensive to post messages - by the time I met someone, I'd have no money left to show her a good time - a potential romance of the century crushed!


Want to learn more about dating seniors? Here are some great guides from BeyondAges:

#4 - AFF is the easiest way to find something short-term and casual

AFF should be your first choice when you're not looking for a relationship but still want some fun in the bedroom. We've tried a lot of different apps for this (most are awful) and only a couple have proven to work over and over. Tinder is great if you're under 25 but once you get beyond that AFF has shown the best results out of any dating site in Honolulu we've tried, especially for guys.

One of the things we've really liked about this app is that they do a really good job of helping you find EXACTLY what you're looking for. Everyone on this site is looking for the same thing so you can save a LOT of time that you would waste on other sites. If you're 25+ and want to take someone home this is your app.

To give you a more detailed look at how AFF works and how it performs for regular guys, you can also have a look at our Adult FriendFinder review.

Why you should try AFF

  • One of the best dating sites in Honolulu for finding quick encounters
  • We’ve seen guys have the best success using it, especially those who aren’t super good looking and didn’t do well on Tinder
  • It’s very straightforward and easy to use

What we don’t like about it

  • Many users can only access via web app
  • The app is a little dated and not as polished as some others
  • Sometimes people are a little TOO upfront with what they want

What people think of AFF

David Burks - Google Play

It is great. Makes gettimg laid easier without going to a bar.

u/CelebrationOk7819 - Reddit

“Been on AFF as a couple looking for married/single men. It is completely legit, have met many good people. Mostly milfs. That's correct. The problem that I have dealt with, that makes ALOT of guys think it's a scam, is they are not gold members. As a couple, if you can't afford gold, then you can't see our pics or actively chat with us... so, we will not bother. Then, the some that pay, get pushy and expect, because a woman is on there, they are expected to hook up just because they are asked. Women don't want little dicks, guys that don't take care of themselves etc.... with that being said, the positive reviews from men looking for females, are the guys that know how to talk, approach, bathe and have a package to offer.”

You Can Try AFF Free!
If you're just looking for more short-term fun you need to try out AFF's free trial. We've spent months and months testing out the alternatives (more than 100 other sites) and haven't found anything that gives most guys more options and better results. Give it a shot!
What’s your experience been like using AFF in Honolulu? Comment below and share your experience with the BeyondAges community.

#5 - Bumble (Android; iOS) is one of the best Honolulu dating apps for single women

Android Bumble screenshots

When it comes to finding a quick date for this weekend or meeting new women in a new city, it’s hard to top Bumble. It’s one of the best dating apps in Honolulu that offers singles a chance to find something casual or serious, depending on their preferences.

But for guys who always make the first move, you’ll appreciate this dating app’s unique feature of letting the women take the first step. You can like a profile, but you can’t do anything else until she messages you back. Also, you only have 24 hours for a connection to be made. After that, the connection is gone. That’s okay, though. You can just set your sights on another user and not waste more time on someone who’s not interested. There are lots of single women here after all!

So if you’re the type of guy who likes to sit back and let the ladies take charge, Bumble is the dating app for you!

Why we love Bumble

  • Great privacy and safety settings
  • Lots of usable features in the free version
  • It has a video chat feature
  • Lots of female users

What we don’t like about it

  • Not a lot of info on the profiles
  • Impatient guys don’t know when they’ll receive a message

What people think of Bumble

Karen Davenport-Smith - TrustPilot

I just wanted to say that through the BFF area I have met the most amazing women locally who have added their own Queen Bees to our group and it has literally been a life saver! We range in age from 47- 58, have lost long-term friends through relocation, changing circumstances or simply just outgrown them. Now we can find friends that complement the woman we are now. I can't recommend this part of the app more for women who are feeling isolated and lonely. 😊



#6 - Lots of singles find love on Happn (Android; iOS)

Happn Android

What if the woman you’re meant to spend your life with just happened to be at the same coffee shop you got your Americano from? This is where dating apps like Happn can work beautifully for you. Because it works a little differently compared to other dating apps, you can be notified when other singles are in the same vicinity. Yep, it’s a meet-cute waiting to happen!

Whether you’re doing your groceries, fueling up at the gas station, or picking up your pizza order, Happn will let you know if other singles are in your general location. You can take this opportunity to pop over to where they are and do your own reconnaissance mission or something. The app is free to download, and there’s also an option to upgrade to unlock more features.

Why Happn is one of the best dating apps in Honolulu

  • The thought of bumping into potential matches somewhere is very exciting
  • Connection feels effortless and more natural
  • Good account verification process

What we don’t like about it

  • Matching is proximity-based
  • Not a lot of matches if you’re in a small town or remote area

What people think of Happn 

Hayes Maisie - TrustPilot

I've had an ordinari experiance with happn.com. From what I can tell they're an alrigh company. The website is easy to navagate and it looks like they have a good range of products available, but I'm not sure about the cusomer service. I haven't had to use it yet but the reviews I've seen have been mixed. Overal, my experiance wasn't too special but it's hard to say anything bad about. I do know that therre's a lot of competition out there so it might be worthwile shopping around to compare prices before deciding.



#7 - Zoosk helps you find the right match (Android; iOS)

Android Zoosk screenshots

If you’re looking for a simple yet successful dating app, look no further than Zoosk. It’s a no-frills dating app that generally helps people find long-term relationships, but you can also find casual flings or hookups if that’s what you're after.

There are over 38 million members worldwide, so you should have no problem finding a hot Honolulu local. You can swipe for matches yourself or use Zoosk’s SmartPick feature to receive daily match recommendations.

Why it's one of the best dating apps in Honolulu

  • Good balance between men and women on the app
  • Use Zoosk’s app or desktop site
  • Over 35 million users

What we don’t like about it

  • Free features are limited
  • No algorithm for matching users based on actual compatibility

What people think of Zoosk

Florida guy - TrustPilot

Zoosk review

Great service with many local options and reasonable fees.



#8 - One of the best apps for Asian singles is EME Hive (Android; iOS)

EME Hive Android screenshots

Do you find yourself doing a lot of introspection lately, the desire to settle down with someone blooming in your chest? Dating is challenging enough as it is. What more finding an Asian woman with the same cultural background, goals, and beliefs? This is where EME Hive can help. It's been around since 2013 with the goal to help single Asian men find the Asian woman of their dreams. And since that time, East Meet East has made thousands of love stories happen for different couples in the world, not just the USA.

Signing up is quick and easy ― do it with your Facebook account or sign up manually. For the ladies, the site is free to use. But for the guys, you need to pay if you want to use more of the site’s best features.

Why it’s one of the best Honolulu dating apps

  • You can see who has viewed your profile
  • Lots of search filters
  • All users are required to upload a photo
  • Free to use for women

What we don’t like about it

  • Not a lot of details on profiles
  • Member suggestions don’t refresh often
  • Men need a paid membership to use all the features

What people think of EME Hive

Karen L. - Google Plau

Overall, not a great experience compared to other dating apps. The UI is sloppy, buggy, and full of strange redundancies, like smiles vs messages vs likes; 'likes' force you to send a default, canned compliment, with no option for customization. Can't undo a swipe. Depending on how you got to a profile, height is hidden even though it was originally visible from the discover page. Biggest complaint: anyone can land in your messages list even if you didn't approve them, which results in clutter.



#9 - Kinkoo (Android; iOS) can open your eyes to a whole new world

Kinkoo features

Somewhere between traditional dating apps and quick connections is an app like Kinkoo. If you got some kinks you want to explore with other singles in a safe environment, then this is the dating app for you.

Don’t be scared because it’s a thoroughly vetted community. Discover new interests and make new connections with the app’s match algorithms. It’s the largest dating app for singles who are into new sexual adventures, so get ready to unleash the kinkster in you. Search for profiles that you like for free and connect with singles or couples who are into the same things as you.

Share what you like on your Feed or look up another user’s Feed before messaging or meeting them. This feature will let you see what kind of lifestyle they lead and if it’s something you can be on board with.

What we like about it

  • Free to use
  • One of the best alternative dating sites
  • Good for singles who want to explore and are not looking for something serious

What we don’t like about it

  • Lots of fake profiles
  • Plenty of inactive accounts

What people think of Kinkoo

Goronstye - App Store

Really good potential, only a few worries

I really hope the dev team is reading this. This app has fantastic potential. Ive been using it for a day or two at the time of this review and it’s basically Tinder for kinky people and so far seems to be 100% free. I’ve met one girl I here and we’re planning to meet. I’ve met more but that was the one that communicated the most. So for a day or two to already be planning a session is great in my opinion. However there are some concerns. The biggest one is scammers, I’ve gotten probably 3-4 messages since I downloaded from people offering to be my sugardaddy/mommy.


Is it safer and easier to be kinkier these days? Experts weigh in

Thanks to Honolulu dating apps, pursuing your kinks has never been easier. However, it hasn’t always been this way. 

In the Psychology Today article "Beyond the Kink Rumors," Elyssa Helfer, LMFT, addresses the significant stigma and discrimination faced by the kink community. Helfer notes, "Not only has kink-shaming directly impacted the emotional and mental well-being of many individuals, it has also resulted in devastating consequences." 

Luckily, the advent of dating apps has made it easier–sort of. While it’s never been easier to find a willing partner and be as discrete as possible, online apps can be a hotbed for negative behaviors. 

In a Mashable article titled "Don't Be A Dick" campaign calls out bad dating behavior" on Mashable, author Rachel Thompson, discusses the efforts of the sex positive dating app WeAreX to promote respect and accountability among online daters. The campaign is a response to the prevalent issues of abuse, harassment, and misconduct on dating apps. The campaign's announcement reads, "Did you know that dickish dating behaviour is shitty and really bad manners?" highlighting the importance of consent and respect in dating.

This brash ethos for keeping the online kink community safe and fun comes from Emma Sayle, founder of WeAreX and Killing Kittens. Through WeAreX and her other sex-positive ventures emphasizes the ethos “that encourages people to be their true sexual selves, free from toxic masculinity and negativity”.

The campaign particularly addresses the hostile environment women and marginalized genders face on dating apps. According to a 2020 Pew Research Center study, 47 percent of female dating app users aged between 18 and 34 have received unsolicited explicit messages or images. Furthermore, 19 percent of young women report being threatened with physical violence on these apps.

#10 - Tinder (Android; iOS) can still surprise you with great matches

Features of Tinder iOS

Is there a single guy out there who has not tried Tinder at all? This app is so popular that it has become a sort of rite of passage for young, professional singles all over the world. It’s perfect for guys who want a dating app that’s easy, quick, and results-oriented.

You can sign up with your Facebook account or with your phone number and immediately you will be given suggested matches. You can get a match without even paying for anything. But if you want to get more match suggestions and swipe opportunities, you can opt for an upgrade.

It may be such an impersonal thing to swipe your way to love, but there are happy endings on this app as well. So whether you’re looking for something fun and casual or serious and long-term, Tinder always has something for you.

What we like about it

  • Quick and easy account registration
  • Fun to use
  • So many users no matter where you are

What we don’t like about it

  • No required photo verification
  • Age-based pricing model

What people think of Tinder 

Jen014 - App Store

Overall, Tinder needs a better tech support system for their clientele. Other than that, the app is okay but the technical issues and lack of ways to report them are incredibly off putting and can make it so your account is basically unusable with no way to fix it.



#11 - The Inner Circle (Android; iOS) is one of the best dating apps in Honolulu for picky singles

Inner Circle dating app

When you’re driven, successful, and wealthy, it’s very hard to find someone who shares the same interests and feels the same way you do about life. And with most dating apps relying on swiping and chatting, it’s not really a very effective way for some people to start a real romance.

But that’s something you don’t need to worry about with The Inner Circle. It’s one of the best dating apps in Honolulu because its main goal is to help you find a compatible match. It will help you connect with singles that you would not normally meet in a regular setting because of how busy you are. With this dating app, finding someone with the same goals, drive, values, and outlook on life has just gotten so much easier.

To sign up for an account, you just need a Facebook and Linkedin profile. This is a dating app for professionals after all.

Why The Inner Circle works

  • You can view profiles for free
  • Only professional singles are allowed on the site
  • Available for download all over the world

What we don’t like about it

  • Small number of users
  • Sending messages is not free

What people think of The Inner Circle

Bffbdsg - App Store

The process of creating a account did not flow. When uploading photos i got a lot of errors saying the photo was invalid to use as a main photo because it was not showing my face. (Which it was...)The app automatically crops out your face with no option of manually cropping it yourself. once you profile is made there is a bug in the app that prevents you from deleting any photos. i have duplicates i cant remove which is annoying. I tried logging in on the website desktop version to delete the duplicates but i had trouble logging into my account. The forgot password option didnt send a email at all....Ive read several other reviews stating that you can not do much on the app but like other's profiles until you pay for the upgraded versions. One positive thing, there seems to be a lot of options matched for me in my interested area compared to other dating apps I've tried. Sad to say i might have to delete this one and keep looking



The Best Dating Sites in Honolulu for Long-Term Relationships

A romantic date at the beach

Since we recommended 11 great dating apps, you may still be unsure about which one to download. To help you find the best one for you, we wanted to talk about our favorite options for people looking for something long-term:

eHarmony is the best place to find love online

eHarmony is a dating site we had to recommend twice because of how much we love it. It’s helped over 600,000 people in the United States alone get married, so it’s the perfect place to find something serious. eHarmony’s success is partly due to its in-depth questionnaire that all users complete when signing up.

The questionnaire asks you about your interests, lifestyle, and preferences in a partner. eHarmony then uses your answers to match you with someone based on compatibility, improving the chances that you’ll actually get along and have something to talk about when you meet. eHarmony is a paid dating site but think of it as an investment for your future. You can even try it for free before committing.

Coffee Meets Bagel lets you focus on one match at a time

Another great dating app for finding love is Coffee Meets Bagel. Instead of endlessly swiping to find your matches, Coffee Meets Bagel finds them for you. Every day at 12, you’ll receive a new match recommendation. This allows you to focus your attention on one person at a time so you aren’t overwhelmed by messages and can form a genuine connection.

The Best Hookup Sites in Honolulu

A sexy woman searching for hookups

If you’re not ready to settle down just yet but you still want to have some fun on dating apps, we’ve got the best recommendations for you. Here are two of our favorite Honolulu hookup sites:

AFF is one of the best Honolulu hookup sites

Another dating site we had to recommend twice is AFF. AFF is the largest hookup site on the market, so there are plenty of Honolulu hotties to match with. As it’s clearly advertised as a hookup site, there’s no need for any awkward conversations about what you’re looking for.

Most users are over 25, so it’s a great site for people tired of hookup apps like Tinder, which is full of younger singles. It’s another paid dating site (with a free trial), but purchasing a membership is worth it. Not only does AFF have high-quality users, the site includes fun features like erotic stories, adult chatrooms, and live webcam shows. Try it for free first to see if it’s something you’re interested in.

Tinder is the best free hookup site in Honolulu

If you are young and on a budget, Tinder is still a great option as a hookup app. The app is super easy to use and heavily focuses on appearance, so even though it’s not advertised as a hookup app, it’s what most people use it for nowadays. Signing up is easy and free, so you’ve got nothing to lose.

The Best Free Dating Sites in Honolulu

Choosing from a few free dating apps

Since we’ve talked about tons of dating apps and sites, you may still be unsure about which one to pick. One deciding factor should be whether you want to pay for a membership or not. Free dating apps can be fun, but it’s important to remember that you get what you pay for.

Paid dating apps give you much better results than free ones do and we’re talking from experience. They tend to offer more features that help you find high-quality matches and people that pay for memberships are usually more serious about the experience.

You may not be ready to purchase a membership right off the bat, so take advantage of free trials or use free apps first to test the waters. Just keep your expectations realistic. Here are three of the best free dating sites in Honolulu:

  • Hinge
  • Bumble
  • Tinder

All three apps are free to use with the option to pay for additional features, so you can test the waters in a low-pressure way.

Dr. Harjo-Livingston, Ph.D. has a great article on KHON.com titled “Dating trends we’re navigating in 2023” that sheds light on what Honolulu residents really feel about online dating. According to Harjo-Livingston, “with the explosion of digital tools to guide us to the supposedly right person, some people are rethinking the use of apps in their dating lives.”

This new dating paradigm has created a whole set of trends that you’refamiliar with–and plenty more that you’ll encounter when dating in Honolulu. Here’s a breakdown according to Dr. Harjo-Livingston with her explanations:

Trend Name Description Quote from Article
Ghosting Someone disappears from your life without explanation. "It’s when someone completely disappears from your life with no explanation, no resolution and no closure."
Zombie’ing A ghosted individual attempts to re-enter your life without explaining their absence. "This is when someone has ghosted you; but at some point, they attempt to come back into your life with no explanation as to why they ghosted you in the first place."
The Slow Fade Gradually reducing contact until the relationship ends. "Slow fading is when we slowly phase out someone from our lives."
Scrooging Breaking up before a significant occasion to avoid gift-giving. "Scrooging is when you break up with them before a gift giving or relationship-oriented holiday."
Vulturing Pursuing newly single individuals for a rebound relationship. "This is when someone hangs around newly minted singles in the hopes that they can convince them to date on the rebound."
Kittenfishing Presenting a misleading version of yourself to attract a date. "Kittenfishing is when you present yourself as a different person on a date."
Breadcrumbing Giving minimal attention to keep someone interested without commitment. "Rather than communicate their fondness, they will throw 'breadcrumbs' as a source of control."
You-Turns Rapidly advancing in a relationship but quickly retreating after certain needs are met. "You-Turns are when a person goes full steam ahead into a relationship... once the person has had certain sexual urges satisfied, they realize that jumping into the relationship was a bad idea."
Outsourcing Letting friends manage your dating profiles and decisions. "This is when you get others to mediate a potential relationship."
Cookie Jarring Keeping backup options in case the current relationship fails. "Cookie jarring is when we maintain potential backup relationships in case the relationship we’re in doesn’t work out."
Cushioning Handling breakups considerately. "This is when we are considerate when we break-up with someone."
Infla-dating Adapting to high costs by planning low-cost, creative dates. "This has arisen as a trend to combat the increasing cost of goods and inflation rates."
Wanderlove Dating people from different cities. "Wanderloving is when we date people who are not living in the same city as we are."
Ethical Sexploration Open and honest exploration of polysexual and polyamorous relationships. "Being open and honest about your sexual orientation is the best way to ethically approach exploring various sexual partners."
Roaching Hiding non-monogamous activities from a partner. "So, when you hide that you are polysexual or polyamorous from your date or relationship partner, it is considered roaching."
Dry Dating Avoiding alcohol during dates. "Dry dating is becoming more and more popular as fewer people amongst Generation Z want to consume alcohol."
Open Casting Dating without a specific type in mind. "This is when we decide not to maintain a 'type' when looking for a date."
Groundhogging Repeatedly dating the same type of person. "This is when someone dates the same type of person over and over again expecting a different result."
Situationships Dating based on convenience or proximity. "Situationships occur when we decide to date someone simply because they are near or available."
Wokefishing Pretending to care about issues to attract a partner. "This is when someone pretends to care about issues about which the person they’re wanting to date cares."
Accomo-dating Preferring dates who own their homes. "Accomo-dating is a trend in which those seeking dates want only people who own their own homes."
Fastforwarding Rapid progression in a relationship. "This is when a relationship progresses along quickly because the people dating are not interested in the usual pace of a slower get to know one another period."
Whiteclawing Continuing a bad date despite lack of interest. "Whiteclawing is when someone continues with a terrible date even though they do not want to be there."

How to Stay Safe when Using Dating Apps: General Tips

Safety Tip Description
Meet in Public Places Choose busy, well-lit areas for first meetings. Avoid isolated locations.
Inform Someone of Your Plans Tell a friend or family member where you're going and with whom.
Use the App’s Messaging System Keep conversations within the app until you feel comfortable and trust the person.
Avoid Sharing Too Much Personal Info Be cautious with sharing details like your address, place of work, or daily routines.
Research Potential Matches Look up your date on social media to verify their identity.
Stay Sober Avoid alcohol or substances that could impair your judgment during initial meetings.
Use Your Own Transportation Arrange your own transport to and from the date.
Trust Your Instincts If something feels off, trust your gut and don’t hesitate to leave or cut communication.
Block and Report Suspicious Profiles Use in-app features to block and report users who make you feel uncomfortable.
Take It Slow Don’t rush into meeting up. Spend time getting to know the person online first.

FAQ about Hooking Up on Honolulu Dating Apps

How can I protect my personal information on dating apps?

Be cautious about sharing personal details like your full name, address, or workplace. Use the messaging system within the app instead of sharing your phone number or email address.

What should I do if someone asks for financial help or money?

Never send money or financial information to someone you’ve met online. Scammers often create emotional stories to solicit financial help.

How can I verify the identity of someone I’ve met online?

Ask for a video call before meeting in person. This can help ensure the person matches their profile pictures and is not catfishing.

What are the best practices for a first meeting with an online date?

Always meet in a public place, tell a friend or family member about your plans, and keep your phone charged. Avoid secluded areas and don't rely on your date for transportation.

Is it safe to share photos and videos online?

Be mindful of the content you share. Avoid sending compromising photos and videos that could be used for blackmail or other malicious purposes.

How should I handle unwanted or inappropriate behavior?

Report any harassment or inappropriate behavior to the dating app’s customer service. Block or report users who make you feel uncomfortable.

What are some red flags I should look out for?

Be wary of profiles with very little information or only one photo, users who quickly want to move the conversation off the dating app, and anyone who professes love too quickly.

Can linking social media accounts to dating apps pose risks?

Linking social media can give away more personal information than intended. If you choose to link accounts, check your privacy settings to control what information is shared.

How can I stay safe while using dating apps during the COVID-19 pandemic?

Follow local health guidelines, consider virtual dates, and discuss COVID-19 safety measures with your date before meeting in person.

What should I do if I suspect a profile is fake?

Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it’s best to err on the side of caution. Report suspicious profiles to the dating app.


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Greene, J. (2024) The top dating apps for 50+ singles dating experts recommend in 2024. Beyond Ages.
Hario-Livingston, S. (2024) Dating trends we’re navigating in 2023. KHON2.

Helfer, A. (2020) Beyond the kink rumors. Psychology Today.

Hussar, W. J. & Bailey, T. M. (2009) Projections of education statistics to 2018. US Department of Education. 

Senkus, T. (2024) 10 best dating sites for widows and widowers in 2024. Beyond Ages.

Senkus, T. (2024) 2024 eHarmony review. Beyond Ages.

Senkus, T. (2024) Adult FriendFinder review 2024. Beyond Ages.

Thompson, R. (2023) ‘Don’t Be a Dick’ campaign calls out bad dating behaviour. Mashable.

Vogels, E. & McClain, C. (2023) Key findings about online dating in the U.S. Pew Research Center.

Contributing Authors:

Tom Senkus

For more than two decades, Tom has dated extensively and studied behavioral psychology as a way of understanding the complexities of human nature until he became an expert. After traveling as a touring musician and living in more than 15 countries, Tom has cross-referenced his experience in seduction, dating, and interpersonal dynamics with the ever-changing landscape of 21st-century dating. His work as a writer has appeared in 500+ publications (digital and print). Tom is also the author of several books (available on Amazon). In his free time, you can find Tom recording music and cooking the best Cincinnati-style chili you’ve ever had.

Jennifer Greene

Jennifer Greene is a Dating and Sex Coach for BeyondAges.com. She loves sharing her experiences from many years of experience coaching others to success. She is an extremely accomplished coach that has had particular success helping men date older women throughout her career.

Jennifer has a unique perspective as both an educator and woman that has dated men of all ages herself. You will be hard-pressed to find someone with such a unique and useful background when it comes to dating older women. Her work has been featured widely including in Cheat Sheet, Fairy God Boss, and Outwit Trade.

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