Why Breaking the Touch Barrier Is Crucial in Seduction And How To Do It Right

Breaking the touch barrier during a date at the beach

One of the most important things in seduction is breaking the touch barrier with a woman. How physical you are with the women you meet will largely determine how successful your sexual advances are later in the relationship.

If you’re new to this then you’re in luck. Because I’ll explain everything about how to break the touch barrier and why it’s very important. And if you already understand why it’s important and know how to initiate touch, then you’ll also learn some advanced and powerful techniques.

I can’t overemphasize the importance of touch and physicality when dating. So make sure to read everything if you want the best chances of success with women.

Why You Should Break the Touch Barrier

To put it simply, without touch and physicality, there can never be true, raw sexual attraction between two people.

Touch is an integral part of flirting and essential to building sexual tension and chemistry between people.

You should be physical with women as much as possible. Because touch builds emotional bonds and cements relationships. And the more you do it, the more receptive women will be towards you.

Just don’t be weird about it and don’t make it look unnatural.

The perfect example of why you should touch her

Imagine going on a dinner date with a gorgeous woman. You sit far across from each other for the entire evening and chat to get to know each other. That’s all fine and dandy but since you’re too far apart, you fail to touch her for the entire evening.

No matter how great the conversation goes and how much fun you have, without touch, the outcome will look bleak in terms of sexual chemistry.

Later, when you try to kiss her or make other sexual advances, most of the time her reaction will be negative. Because she simply won’t be comfortable with you and your touch. It will “come out of the blue,” so to speak, and will likely surprise her.

She’ll see how you’re acting the whole evening and the sudden physical advance will be incongruous with your behavior. She’ll feel cornered.

It’s akin to guys being friendzoned because they never show their intentions, only to suddenly confess their love for the girl.

On the other hand, if you sit close to her or beside her and there’s some occasional touching going on between the two of you, things will be very different.

If you touch her on various occasions when it’s natural to do so, then she’ll warm up to you very quickly as the evening progresses. Which will make the eventual kiss or passionate embrace a natural progression of your date, as opposed to a huge surprise.

Simply put, before you make any big moves on a woman, she first has to be very comfortable with you and your touch. Or it won’t end very well in the vast majority of cases.

This is exactly why it’s crucial to learn how to break the touch barrier if you want to have many successful dates with women.

New course

Tips for Breaking the Touch Barrier

First things first, breaking the touch barrier is by no means difficult. And there are many different things you can do to become physical with a woman right from the start.

The important thing to know, however, is that no matter how you decide to break the touch barrier, you must do it in a natural, nonchalant way. It should be a completely normal part of your interaction.

That’s because if you bring unnecessary attention to the fact that you’re touching her, it will often make things awkward, weird or unnatural.

As a result, the only thing your touch will accomplish is creep her out. As opposed to helping you move towards your ultimate goal, which is to build that all-important attraction, make her comfortable with you and create sexual tension.

Basically, she should see that you’re used to touching women and that you’re not afraid to do so.

That’s why you should never hesitate or stop your movements halfway as if you’re scared of touching her. Since that’ll signal to her you’re clueless and don’t know what you’re doing.

You need to be at ease with yourself and your movements must be fluid and not rigid.

Do it over time

The other thing that’ll help tremendously with seduction is showing her you’re a physical guy in general. This means she should see that you like touching other people, putting your arms around them, holding their hand, nudging them, etc.

Also, once you actually break the touch barrier, don’t stop. You must keep touching her over time, throughout the entire interaction when it feels normal to do so. And you should be gradually more and more physical as time goes by, as she begins liking you more and more.

Don’t worry, as long as it seems natural, you’ll be surprised at the things you can do without annoying her.

Now I’ll explain how you can start breaking the touch barrier right away. I’ll begin with some very simple tips and gradually move to the more advanced stuff.

Shake her hand

Shaking hands on a bike date

The easiest thing you can do by far is to simply shake her hand when you meet her. This is especially important if you’re meeting her for the first time, introducing yourself and asking her for her name.

That’s really it, you’ve now broken the touch barrier. See how easy that was?

Hug her lightly

While shaking her hand is among the best things you can do when you meet her for the first time, hugs are infinitely better when you already know the person.

Personally, if I find a woman through online dating or dating apps and then meet her for our first date, I always go in for the hug. Absolutely always, without any exceptions.

I already know her name and she knows mine, so there’s no need to introduce ourselves. And in my opinion, a light quick hug is the best way to break the touch barrier and show you’re a physical guy.

You simply say “Heeeey Jennifer, come here!” with a big smile on your face and spread out your arms while gesturing inwards with your fingers.

Not once has a woman said anything negative about what I did. In fact, many commented later on that it was very refreshing and set me apart from other guys who seem so scared of physical contact.

Just make sure it’s warm and genuine yet quick and light, without any lingering. Otherwise, you run the risk of creeping her out.

You have no idea how many positive things such a gesture tells about you. In short, it builds massive attraction through touch right from the start.

High five

Another fan favorite way of breaking the touch barrier is to high-five a woman when you meet her. This is perfect for clubs, bars, concerts and similar loud venues where people go to mingle and have fun.

It shows you’re confident, positive and fun to hang around with. It’s also a great opener when you want to approach someone.

Course promo

Tap her shoulder

Another quick and easy way to break the touch barrier with a girl is to tap her shoulder. A good time to do it is when you need to get her attention. Or when you’re telling her about something and need to make sure she’s listening.

Just don’t do it with a single rigid finger and don’t do it hard. Overdoing it shows aggressiveness, and not in a good way. Unless you’re teasing her and doing it in an exaggerated way on purpose.

Put your hand on her shoulder

Putting his hand on her shoulder

This is even better than tapping her shoulder because your hand can linger on her body for a bit without it being too weird.

The best time to do it is when you tell her some kind of joke. Or when you want to emphasize some important point when you’re talking to her. If you’re telling her some kind of story and a fun, exciting or interesting moment comes up, this is the perfect time to rest your hand on her shoulder.

Also, if the time is right, you may even do a little sensual squeeze at the end. To show her you can be dominant and to build sexual tension. But only do that after you know she already likes you at least somewhat.

Nudge her

The perfect opportunity to do so would be when you’re both entering some kind of venue. Such as cafes, restaurants, movie theaters, and so on. A gentle nudge in the direction of your seats gives you an excuse to touch her while also serving the purpose of guiding her.

When you’re joking around and having fun at a bar or club, a nudge can help you emphasize your point. Or if you already have a sort of inside joke, a playful nudge reinforces that joke and makes your bond a little stronger.

Put your hand on her lower back

This is even better than nudging and you should do it when entering a venue as well. For example, you can open the door to the coffee shop with your left hand and put your right hand on her lower back. And then gently usher her inside.

This is a much stronger and more intimate physical gesture than nudging. But she won’t have anything against it because you’ll do it at the perfect moment.

Bump your hips into her

Breaking the touch barrier with a hip bump is the perfect thing to do when you’re joking around, having fun or teasing her.

You can bump into her lightly or even push her out of the way if she already likes you enough. Especially if you tell her a joke and she laughs hard at it. She’ll be on an emotional high and will be very receptive to your hip bump.

Personally, I do this move a lot when I’m teasing women and do it hard, as long as she’s laughing and understands that you’re messing around.

The advanced stuff

Holding hands across the table

Here’s a very powerful technique you can use if you really want to escalate your touch and build strong attraction with physicality.

Find some fun, interesting or exciting story you can tell when you’re on a date with a woman. A story that involves someone touching someone else, as much as possible.

Then, when you’re telling the story, make it that much more interesting by actually acting it out and demonstrating most of the touching in it. By touching her like the people do in your story.

For example, I often tell women the story of how this one time I was hit on by an obscenely rich gay older guy who wanted me to be his boy toy.

I explain how physical he is and how he puts his hand on my thigh and starts rubbing it. And then demonstrate it as well as show my reactions during the time.

This story is pretty absurd and brings out a ton of laughs. But most importantly, I get to touch the girl all over the place, including her thigh. I’ve never had bad reactions to this story and other ones because they’re engaging and wacky.

I hope you understand how powerful this technique is.

Single woman

How to know if she’s open to your touch

Lastly, I quickly want to mention how you can figure out if the girl is open to being touched or not. Basically, all you need to do is watch her and notice her body language and eye contact.

As long as she’s not hostile and her body language isn’t defensive or negative in some way. And as long as her eye contact is neutral or warm, then you can touch her freely for the first time.

After that, if she doesn’t look uncomfortable, it means she’s receptive to your touch.

Honestly, most women will be receptive to your touch right from the start, especially if there’s already some attraction building up. Unless they’re having a bad day, don’t like you, find you annoying, or other similar things, she won’t react negatively. So don’t worry and go for it!


Now you should understand quite well how to break the touch barrier and why it’s important to be physical with women.

All you need to do now is go and practice these and similar things.

If you don't have much experience, it’ll obviously feel awkward at first. But I urge you to do it as much as possible until it’s completely natural to you. No doubt women will find you significantly more attractive when you figure this thing out.

Join Our Newsletter

No Spam. Just Higher Dating Success.

Leave a Comment