Existential questions are a great tool to make a conversation deeper and more meaningful.
Deep down, most of us hate small talk. But we tend to remember and feel connected to those of us who were brave to go beyond the surface during conversations. This is where the in-depth questions come in: they probe the mind and really make you think. On top of that, someone’s answers to these questions reveal a lot about who they really are.
Below are 30+ deep psychological questions to help you get to know someone. Try asking a few of these while you’re out on a date.
Starter Existential Questions to Ask a Woman You Like
These questions are simple and suitable enough to ask a woman you’ve just met. Spice up your first date with this list of deep questions.
What’s the meaning of life?
It’s the simplest existential question, but perhaps the one we have the most trouble with. Why are we here? Is there one meaning to life? Or do we all create our own meaning?
What is the difference between living and existing?
Is there a difference at all? Does this girl in front of you believe she’s really living or is she just existing? Does she plan to change that? Perhaps starting with you on this date tonight?
Are our destinies pre-determined?
You can make this existential question a bit more playful thinking back to how you two met? Was it destiny that you two locked eyes at the bar? Did the gods in the sky make plans for you two to match on Tinder?
What is our purpose as humans?
Why are we here on this Earth? Is there a goal that we should aim to fulfill? Is this girl in front of you in a pretty cocktail dress fulfilling her purpose? Will she fulfill your purpose?
What one thing would give life meaning?
If she thinks life is meaningless, what is the one thing that could change that? Perhaps if she could see the future or swallow some Ayahuasca? Could a kiss from you add meaning to her life? 😉
Where does the soul exist?
A lot of people like to talk about their soul, but where does it actually exist? And what does it look like? Can it move and change its appearance? Could you sell your soul to the devil, or is that just a figure of speech?
Can true love exist?
True love is another phrase that is commonly used, but what does it actually mean? Can true love even exist? What makes love true?
Does love at first sight exist?
Logically, it would appear to be impossible to fall in love upon first seeing someone? But maybe she’s an old romantic who thinks differently? If it’s destiny that you met, maybe love before first sight could even exist?
Can good exist without evil?
This is another question that you playfully ask a woman on a first date? Let’s say she accuses you of being a “bad guy”. That’s a good time to ask this question. Better that than randomly contemplating whether there’s a place for terrorist attacks in our society...
Does everything happen for a reason?
Is the script of your life already written before you touch down on this Earth? Are all setbacks designed to teach you a lesson? Or do bad things just happen and that’s as deep as it goes?
Fun Existential Questions to Ask for a Fun Conversation
Not all existential questions need to be serious. These questions are kind of deep, but they’re also kind of funny.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
The classic existential question. When you really focus on the answer to this question, it can really bring you into that silent forest, which can create a sense of inner peace… unless you think the tree does make a horrendous crash, of course. But what is sound if no one is there to hear it?
If plants react to environmental conditions, do they feel pain when we cut and eat them?
This question makes for a great playful comeback to those super-serious vegetarians complaining that slaughtering animals to eat is wrong. You can also see what they think cows would do if they were top of the food chain.
Can animals feel love?
Can dogs and cats have feelings for one another as strong as humans do? How about guinea pigs? How about the unconditional love that dogs have for their owners?
Can anyone ever love us more than our dogs will?
This is a fun way of exploring whether unconditional love can ever exist between humans. This question is perfect if you’re talking to a woman who loves her pet/s.
If aliens do exist, what do they think about humans?
One on hand, we’ve invented some amazing stuff over the years. Perhaps aliens will think we’re really intelligent. On the other hand, most humans are doing some incredibly stupid things every day. Plus, we’re slowly killing the planet. So...
Can I watch my thoughts without my thoughts watching me?
Ask someone this question and watch them develop a headache as they try to watch their own thoughts.
Do we ever really grow up or are we just faking it?
As adults, we often seem to be at our happiest when acting like children. Plus, we seem to spend our whole lives not really knowing what we’re doing. Maybe we’re all just children in adult bodies.
If you had to be reincarnated as an animal, what would you choose?
There’s a film where this reality exists called “The Lobster”. The main character lives with his dog, who used to be his sister. He chooses to become a lobster because he “likes the sea”. It seems like he didn’t think that decision through.
Were The Beatles right when they said: “All You Need Is Love?”
The Beatles truly were the scholars of our generation. How could such a simple song be so accurate? But, wait? Actually, don’t we need a few more things to thrive in society?
How do you know you’re not dreaming right now?
You probably know you’re not dreaming right now, but do you really? How do you know? You’ve probably had plenty of dreams where you didn’t know you were dreaming.
Deep Psychological Questions to Really Get to Know Someone
These existential questions can add a new layer of depth to a conversation. These questions should also really help you get to the core of someone’s beliefs and values.
Why do humans believe in God?
There is no physical evidence that God exists. There’s just a book and the stories of other people. So, why do so many humans hold such incredible faith? Is there a deeper reason beyond “because other people said so”.
Is it possible that God exists inside us?
That sounds a little bit crazy, but it’s also said that God is everywhere and everything. Does that mean you are God? Am I God? Is that puppy taking a leak on a tree God?
What if you die tomorrow and discover you were wrong about everything?
We all have our own unique values and beliefs about how the world works and what the meaning of life is. Most of us have incredibly strong opinions about this and live our lives based on these beliefs. So, how would you react if you discovered undeniable proof that you were wrong?
If fear were to be stripped away from you for a year, what would you do?
It’s incredibly powerful for one to admit that fear exists within them. It’s even more beneficial for them to realize what they would do if fear didn’t exist. Because then, to experience true fulfillment, they’d simply need to feel the fear and do those scary things anyway.
Is happiness just chemicals circulating through our bodies?
This question can be a vibe-killer, depending on how and when you ask it. It could quickly ruin the celebrations of some good news. But it is a deep existential question nonetheless. If happiness is just a chemical reaction, why do we chase it so rigorously?
What’s one thing you would change about the world if you could?
This is a great question to get to know someone because you will discover a lot about their priorities in life. If you want to go one step deeper, ask them if they could help to make that change.
How would we act if we knew everything was going to turn out OK in the end?
This question can really help you to experience some realizations about your own insecurities. Many of us make decisions out of fear that life is going to turn out pretty awful otherwise. But is that a good or bad thing?
If you could watch a highlight reel of your life until this day, would you enjoy it?
This question can elicit some pretty powerful responses. Sometimes, you’ll see a big smile as they relive their “greatest hits”. Other times, you’ll notice people realize that they’ve let the last few years of their lives pass them by. Either way, it’s a good question to quickly get to know someone.
If our thoughts are our reality, does anyone know the real reality?
This is another question that quickly gives you a headache if you think about it too hard. The right answer is surely that there’s no true reality. But, on the other hand, how can a world exist without a true reality?
Is humanity headed in the right or wrong direction?
There are strong arguments for both sides. On one hand, we’ve undeniably created a safer and more thriving society than ever before. On the other hand, we have Global Warming, TikTok and OnlyFans.
With this list of existential questions, you can make the conversation last all night long. Of course, you’ll need more than a list of questions to seduce a woman on a first date. So, check out this guide on what women find attractive in men for more guidance.