Does your woman want a time-out with you—or worse, a breakup? If so, then you might have heard about the advice: “Give her space, and she’ll come back.” But is that even true? Let’s find out.
Sometimes, even good relationships can hit rough patches. After a long time of being excited and in love with you, she might now feel listless and distant. She might even start canceling dates with you for no apparent reason.
When she starts withdrawing from you and your relationship, what should you do? In this article, we’ll talk about the concept of giving her “space” to get her back. What’s it all about? What’s “space,” anyway? And most importantly: Does it really work?
Keep reading to get the answers.
Give Her Space and She'll Come Back
The idea of “giving her space” is to give the love she once had for you a chance of rekindling. You want her to miss you enough to come running back to your relationship, regretting she ever thought about leaving.
The challenge? That’s easier said than done. It’s easy to feel so emotionally attached to her you can’t bear to spend any time apart. Or you might be afraid she won’t come back. Or you don’t know how you’ll live with yourself if you ever lose her.
If that’s similar to how you feel right now, then this article is for you. Let’s start by discussing the idea of “space” in a relationship and what it entails.
Will she miss me if I give her space?
“Space,” in practical terms, means a period of minimal to zero contact with your partner. That means you won’t meet each other, you won’t call each other, and you won’t even send text or chat messages to each other. You’re cutting off contact, and that means the relationship stalls for some time.
Curiously, it works. That’s why it’s suggested by relationship therapists and psychologists all the time. Put simply, giving her space makes her miss you. And many times, it’s enough to get you back together, with the relationship stronger than ever before. That’s the idea.
Signs she's about to come back to you
You know you’ve done it correctly when:
- She breaks the space herself, reaching out before you do
- She comes back to you after the agreed-upon period, happier and refreshed
- She apologizes for ever thinking of leaving you
Congratulations, you gave her some space and she came back!
Now, here’s the thing: She’s asking for a timeout for a reason. You may be doing something wrong in the relationship and it’s making her think twice about staying.
That means you got some work to do. Let’s get started.
Why You Should Give Her Space to Miss You
There are many good reasons to bite the bullet and give her the space she’s asking for. Be prepared for at least 3-4 weeks of zero contact with her, and trust that you’re doing your relationship a favor by doing so.
Here are a few of those good reasons to give her the space she wants:
Distance = Magnetism
The first reason space is good is that it builds magnetism. This is basically the essence of any “give her space and she’ll come back” advice. That is, the more she’s away from you, the more she’ll miss certain things about your relationship. It might be your companionship, or your silly jokes, or the sense of comfort or excitement you used to give her.
That’s the key. You’ll want her to realize, on her own, that things were better with you around. So she’ll reach out, come back, and give your relationship another chance.
She might be playing hard to get
The second reason is that she might be playing hard to get. This is when she has other options in her life—that is, other men she likes—and she wants to make sure she’s not settling for you. So she runs away to see if you’ll chase her.
This isn’t mean or cynical of her, by the way. It’s something Mother Nature hard-wired into all mentally healthy women. And ironically, the more you chase her and the harder you work to “win” her, the less attracted she’ll be to you.
Why? Think of it this way. Imagine she had two admirers: You and another guy. For your part, you’re pulling out all the stops to win her heart—dates, gifts, promises of happily ever after, and so on.
Meanwhile, this other guy is the opposite of you. He lives his life the best he can, and her attraction to him is just a byproduct of that.
Who do you think she’ll feel more attracted to you? The other guy, of course! He’s the one she perceives to be stronger and better able to take care of her.
So hold back the urge to chase her. It’s so much better to give her the space she needs and spend the time working on making yourself more attractive to her.
And that starts with:
Having a life mission
Make no mistake. You must have a mission in your life that’s bigger than her. It should be a goal big enough that, if she ever impeded you from achieving it, you’d let her go in a heartbeat. It needs to be that big.
Find something that tugs at your heartstrings—something you’ll gladly spend the rest of your life pursuing. It could be:
- Finding a cure for a currently incurable disease
- Building a million-dollar business
- Feeding orphans in your community
- Achieving a level of self-development you’ve never reached before
- Traveling around the world
Yes, it will make her jealous. And yet at the same time, it will tell her you’re not a desperate, needy guy like most of the other men in her life. Instead, she needs to win you, and she should think twice about doing anything that might drive you away.
How to Give Her Space Without Ignoring Her
Now, you might wonder: Can I give her space but still have contact with her?
First of all, it’s not ideal. After all, giving her space so she’ll come back is all about getting her to see what life is like without you. When you keep in contact with her, it’ll be harder for her to miss you. It’s also much easier to slip into sending her needy texts and cringy confessions. All-in-all, staying in touch will put your relationship at risk.
That said, it’s still quite possible to pull it off—as long as you make the most of your time away from her. Here are some of the most important things I suggest you do:
Escaping "scarcity mentality"
Do you feel like she’s the only girl out there for you? If you do, then you’re plagued with scarcity mentality, and it only raises your risk of losing her. Spend some time learning about scarcity mentality precisely to escape it. It may be time to start meeting new people and realizing she’s not your entire world, after all.
Speaking of meeting new people...
What is one-itis? It means you think she’s “The One,” and that you don’t even consider looking at other women. And yes, it’s just as bad as scarcity mentality.
Here’s the thing: Sure, she might be “The One,” but she’s definitely not “The Only One.” There are many other women out there who’d be great for you—and perhaps even better for you than her.
So feel free to stay in touch with her while giving her “space” at the same time, but do yourself a favor and meet other women while you’re at it, even just to hang out. You’ll be surprised at what you’ll find.
It’s always a good idea to spend time making yourself more manly. It may very well be the lack of manliness in you that caused her to want some space.
Start with the most obvious steps:
- Start working out and getting fit
- Kick a bad habit that’s been keeping you unhealthy or unattractive
- Start making more money somehow
- And yes—meet more women to raise your confidence
Get good relationship advice
Lastly, there’s nothing wrong with reading up on how to make her fall back in love with you. I’d say it’s more wrong not to. There’s always room for improvement in even the happiest relationships out there.
What if she doesn't come back?
When you give her space to miss you, there’s a huge chance she’ll come back. But sometimes, when you ask, “Will she come back if I give her space?” the answer can be no.
Now let’s talk about the worst-case scenario. What is, after getting some space from you, she decides she doesn’t want to come back after all?
That’s too bad, but them’s the breaks. She may really not have been happy with you.
Luckily, if you spent your time well:
- Finding and pursuing a life mission
- Escaping scarcity mentality and one-itis
- Becoming more manly
- Getting good relationship advice
...then you’ll soon find yourself with two options.
You can either start a new relationship with a new girlfriend—or you can get your ex back and do even better this time around. With your newer, more attractive self, you’ll stand a pretty good chance of doing it right.
So go ahead—if she wants space, give it to her. It might just be the best thing to happen to your relationship.