Guys often wonder about the right time to initiate a more intimate relationship with a girl. You may even find yourself wondering how many dates before sex, so you have more realistic expectations.
There are so many different answers to this question that it’s next to impossible to find that one right answer.
But I will give you an answer, and I’ll also explain every step you need to take to learn how to have sex on the first date.
How many dates before sex can happen
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I’m going to go against the grain here and answer this question very bluntly.
If you know what to do and are proficient at flirting and seducing women, you can often have sex on the first date. And if you’re really good or the woman you’re with is irresistibly drawn to you, you won’t even need to go on a date!
Provided there’s enough time for sex and you have a nice place ready to go, sex is a real possibility.
In other words, if you’re really good at seducing women, the only things standing in your way on your date are time constraints and logistical problems.
How many dates before sex depends entirely on how quickly you both become comfortable with one another and how attracted you are to each other. Eventually, if everything goes smoothly, sexual tension will build. Sparks will start flying between you two and you’ll end up sleeping together.
This can happen in a span of several dates or just the first one.
Incidentally, that’s why first dates that last half a day or more are the most likely to end in you getting laid.
So you see, the question of whether you can have sex on which date is inherently wrong. Because it’s not the number of dates but the quality of these dates that really matter.
Here’s how to have sex on the first date virtually every time
So you went from the first phone call to the first date and you know that things are getting steamy between you. There are several important things that need to happen on your dates before sex is on the table. These are crucial things that you need to keep in mind if you’re looking to sleep with someone you’re on a date with.
Enjoy yourselves and get to know each other
First, you need to focus on having fun with the woman you’re with and on getting to know each other on a deep and personal level.
Everything else is built on these two foundations. Because if she can’t even have a fun time with you on your date, you won’t be able to seduce her.
And also, if all you do is have fun and never actually get to know each other on a personal level, she’ll eventually start doubting why you like her. She’ll question why you want to spend time with her specifically. She might begin to feel like you only care about her looks and nothing else.
You have to show her that she matters to you, at least in the context of your date. Pay attention to your dates before sex even enters your mind!
Show her that you want to get to know her, and that she’s more than just someone you want to sleep with. Even if your ultimate goal is to just get laid, at least try to make her feel special by engaging her in an in-depth conversation.
Better yet, instead of waiting for her to doubt herself as to why you like her. During your conversations, you can drop various hints here and there about why you think she’s great. Talk a little less about how hot she is, and give her compliments on her personality, her passions, and her ideas.
This builds the trust you need to make her feel at ease with you. Keep in mind that no matter how charming you are, some women won't sleep with you on the first date. If you're getting that vibe from her, you can think of another strategy after your first date.
Spark attraction on your date before sex enters your mind
Sparking attraction involves many different things. Including showing your best qualities, various manly traits, and the fact that you’re actually going places in your life. Whether or not you intend to have sex on the first date, sparking attraction is the top tip for making your first date a success.
It also involves flirting, teasing, sharing your sense of humor, showcasing your personality and sharing your passions. Have assertive yet open body language. Make lots of eye contact. And have the guts to get a little touchy when you can.
The last part is essential if you want to have a sexual relationship. Because for her to become comfortable with you, she has to first become very comfortable with your touch.
That’s why I always say that men should establish a touchy, physical relationship as early as possible.
No matter how many dates before sex you think you must have, if you don’t touch her during your date at all, you’ll never get laid.
So, make it a habit to start touching your date as soon as you meet her. Start off with a light touch in a very courteous manner and at appropriate places at first. And then, when you get more and more into each other, be bolder with your touches.
Get her used to your presence until she enjoys it and becomes more comfortable with you.
Ignite sexual tension and make her want you
After she’s already attracted to you and you’re both comfortable with one another, you should create some sexual chemistry. This is crucial for your date to have sex with you.
It’s not that difficult to do because you should be eyeing each other by now anyway if things went well up to this point.
But to speed things along, you can begin by making your touch more intimate than before. Touch her in places friends never would. Put your hand on her thigh or at the nape of her neck. Gently brush her cheek with your fingers.
You can also start talking about naughtier topics. Start off with something as subtle as things that turn her on. Then move on to something raunchier like a sexual experience you’ll never forget.
These sexual topics don’t always have to involve your sexcapades, as long as there’s a sexual undertone to your conversation. The point here is to make her think about sex in general.
Eventually, her mind will start wondering about what it would be like to have sex with you. If the thought excites her, you’ll notice that she’ll be a lot more open to touching or talking about increasingly naughtier topics.
By the end of the date, all that sexual tension will make her snap and she might be the one to ask, “your place or mine?”
Take her home or go to her place
Finally, when she’s ready to hop into bed with you, it’s time to take her somewhere more private.
This is the most important step of the whole process. Because if there’s no convenient place to have sex, you’re out of luck. That is, unless you’re fine with getting it on in the backseat of your car or in a public bathroom.
Naturally, you’ll have a more convenient time getting her to come home with you if you met on a dating app that matched you based on your location (we have a few favorite hookup apps worth trying).
That’s why you should set up a date somewhere close to your place. And more importantly, make sure that your place is presentable enough for your date.
If you need to drive to get to your place, don’t stop talking about naughty things with her. Keep building that sexual tension until you can finally get it on in the privacy of your home.
Now if going back to your place isn’t an option, suggest heading over to her place. Simply say you want to see her place, with a little wink and a nudge, so she knows what’s up.
With that said, some women don’t want such a blatant invitation for sex. Some ladies prefer a more subtle yet implied invitation.
Then it’s just a matter of thinking of a plausible excuse as to go to your place or hers. Tell her you’d love to see her cool collection of vintage vinyl or that you'd love to have her over for coffee. If she’s really looking to sleep with you, any excuse will do.
Remember that some women don't want to appear like she’s taking home a guy just to sleep with him. In cases like this, you better think of something creative.
How to have good sex on the first date after you take her home
Once you take her home, the key to having amazing sex on the first date is to go at her pace. If she jumps you passionately once you get indoors, you know she’s looking for frantic, wild sex.
But if she seems like the type to prefer a little romance, go slow and steady. Tease her a bit and make her want more.
Also, don’t neglect foreplay under any circumstances! Pleasure her with your hands and mouth as you slowly take off her clothes. Be an attentive, generous lover who puts her pleasure first. And then, when you’re both really aroused and she can’t take it anymore, go do what you do best.
Also, remember to bask in the afterglow afterwards as you cuddle in each other’s arms. There’s nothing more disappointing for her than a guy suddenly getting dressed and heading out the door once he’s done.
How to have good sex on the first date is a matter of being at the right place, having the right moves, and then cuddling after. Now all you'll need to worry about is how long to wait before the second date.
So how many dates before sex is possible? It doesn’t really matter because you can have sex on any date if you know what to do! What matters is building up that sexual tension until she can’t wait to get busy with you.