One of the worst parts about being interested in someone is worrying the feeling’s not mutual.
Many guys lament about asking girls out due to this fear. The less gutsy give up, preferring to stay safe from the daggers of rejection. They have to endure another type of suffering, though: the angst of never knowing what could’ve been.
If you’re unsure how to tell when a girl likes you, don’t throw in the towel just yet. We’ve put together a plan to help you figure it out so you can land that date.
How to Tell When a Girl Likes You
Once you’ve cracked the system, it’s not that difficult to get a grasp on a girl’s level of interest in you. It may seem completely mystifying in the beginning, but follow the steps below and you’ll know how to tell when a girl likes you.
Step one: observe how she acts with you
There are some things a girl does overtly that are likely to be displayed when she likes a guy. For starters, body language gives a lot away. You just have to know what to look for.
The first thing to pay attention to is where a girl’s eyes are when you’re talking to her. Notice if she looks directly at you and holds a gaze. If she likes you, she’ll probably want to keep her eyes on you for as long as possible. However, if she turns to you briefly and then away, she isn’t really trying to connect.
Also take note of how often she smiles at you. Does she laugh frequently at your jokes? If she’s happy in your company and is clearly enjoying your personality, things are looking good.
Another positive sign is if she stands with her body positioned toward you. If a woman wants to keep her guard up with you, she’ll often stand back with her body turned a little. She also may have her arms folded if she doesn’t want to engage too much with you. If she’s open to knowing you more, she’ll probably let her arms hang freely or use them expressively.
She might even put her hand on your arm during conversation. If this happens, even briefly, it shows the comfort level she has with you.
A girl who likes you may even include you in conversations she’s having with others. If she goes out of her way to involve you, she’s fond of you.
Step two: observe how she acts with others
After you’ve determined there’s a possibility of interest based on the overt behaviors, dig a little deeper. You know she’s engaging toward you, but you want to make sure it’s personal. There’s a great chance that it is, but you need to rule out the possibility she’s that way with everyone.
So how to tell when a girl likes you? The next thing you do, naturally, is observe how she acts with other people. Assess whether she seems as comfortable with others as she does with you. Review all the signs you’ve seen that she likes you and observe whether or not she applies them to others.
Take note of her eye contact, body language and touching — especially with guys. Is she as engaging with them, or holding back a bit? Does she smile and laugh as much with other guys, or is her enthusiasm a bit more curbed?
If she’s been going out of her way to include you in conversations, take a look to see if she does that with others as well. If not, you’re definitely on her radar.
Step three: mirror her
The next step is to reflect the signs she’s been showing you right back to her. In other words, reciprocate.
When she looks directly at you, don’t shy away from eye contact. Fully connect with her without saying a word. Or, if you’re in a conversation with her, make sure she has your full attention. Make her feel like she’s all that matters in the moment.
If she’s been reaching out to you and involving you in conversations, do the same to her. She will notice it’s not a one-sided situation. From there, her actions may continue or change.
If they do change and she pulls back once you’ve begun dropping hints, don’t drive yourself crazy wondering why. It could be for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with you. You may not want to continue to pursue in this case. Mirror her again. If she pulls back, you pull back.
However, if you both continue to engage warmly, the chemistry is going to build. That’s how to tell when a girl likes you. You will then be ready to go to the fourth step.
Step four: ask and answer questions
Once you have a good handle on the vibe between the two of you, it’s safe to transition to the next level. This next step involves verbal communication. You know the energy between you has surpassed that of an ordinary acquaintanceship. It’s time now to break past the barrier of silence.
You’ve established a comfort level that opens the door for you to ask questions without feeling awkward. Now you can flow naturally into deeper waters and find out exactly what you’re dealing with here. This is the next logical step of how to tell when a girl likes you.
You can now move beyond superficial chatter and show an interest in finding out more about her. Ask her some in-depth questions. Inquire about her background, goals and opinions on certain topics. A woman who’s interested in you will be happy to talk to you about herself.
She’ll be eager to direct questions to you as well. If a woman is asking you just as many questions, she’s interested in getting to know you better. Take this as a very good sign.
If she skirts around your questions and/or doesn’t seem interested in learning about you, take pause. She may just be shy or slow to open up, but asking her out is a little risky now. Even if she is interested, you’ve gained insight about the challenge of trying to get to know her.
Step five: hint about asking her out
At this point, you’ve built a pretty solid foundation for asking her out. Now you can follow the fifth step and drop hints that you’re interested. This is exactly how to tell when a girl likes you: yes means yes!
This process is like dipping your toes in the water instead of plunging in head first. You’re ready for a swim, but you just want to test the waters a tiny bit more before submerging.
So what you need to do now is set the stage for a date invite. You should be able to get a pretty good idea of what her response will be ahead of time. From there, you can decide whether or not to move forward.
By now, you’ll have asked her enough questions to know what her interests are. You’ll have an idea of what kind of date may appeal to her, which is a huge advantage here.
She may have mentioned to you a certain genre of music that she loves, for instance. Take this opportunity to look into local venues that offer concerts or DJ nights featuring music of that genre. You can casually mention an event to her as though it just happened to come to your attention. Her response will tell you all you need to know.
Another possible scenario is that she’s mentioned going through a stressful event recently. Maybe she had relatives visiting for two weeks or just completed a big project at work. You could comment that she deserves a fun night out or a relaxing day at the beach. If she blows off your comment and changes the subject quickly, you may want to let it go. However, If she responds enthusiastically to those ideas, you could easily say, “well let’s do that.”
Special occasions offer a great opening as well. Whether her birthday is coming up or she just got promoted at work, it’s perfectly natural to say that the occasion calls for a celebration. Again, see how she reacts. Her response will let you know where to go from there.
Figuring out how to tell when a girl likes you doesn’t have to be overwhelmingly difficult. After following these steps, you may even wonder how it ever seemed so daunting. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. All you have to do now is go have some great dates!