Are you totally smitten with an attractive colleague? Wondering how to tell if a girl likes you at work?
Well, you’re certainly not alone. We spend so much time at the workplace, that it’s natural to create strong bonds with other people in there. The experts call this phenomenon “vicinity attraction.”
However, a fling between coworkers might turn into something complicated. This kind of situation can lead to a great relationship but also to office gossip and trouble with the HR department.
This article covers everything you need to know in case you fell in love with a coworker. To learn how to recognize the signs that she likes you and to avoid screwing the whole thing up, keep reading!
Your workplace may have excellent opportunities to meet someone awesome and then start dating them.
However, for a lot of guys, it can be difficult to tell if a female coworker is interested in them in a romantic way. If you misinterpret certain signs of professional courtesy or friendliness and take them the wrong way, you may get into a lot of trouble with your boss or HR. In some severe cases, this may even cause you to lose your job and your reputation.
No one wants to be known as "that guy"—someone who is written up for sexual harassment and who every woman now avoids like the plague. That's why it's important to learn how to tell if a girl likes you at work, in order to avoid potential disaster.
Keep in mind that people in the workplace are trying to maintain professionalism and be courteous to one another. So, you need to figure out the following: Is she just being friendly or is she actually interested in you romantically?
Here are the signs that she sees you as more than just a work buddy:
Does your workplace crush try to spend as much time as possible with you? Does she find excuses to walk into your office, maybe while holding eye contact with you and smiling? Or maybe she’s at the coffee machine at the same time as you too often for it to be a coincidence.
Well, bro, she definitely likes you! The next time you see her hanging out around you for no reason, ask her out for a coffee!
Also, she could try to talk with you more often than with other coworkers. If she goes out of her way to chat with you, it’s another sign that she could be interested. This is especially true if she mostly wants to talk about non-work-related topics.
If she suddenly smiles as soon as she sees you, she might have a crush on you. We’re not talking about the courtesy smile she gives to all the other coworkers, but about a genuine smile.
According to the body language coach Nicolas Fradet, when a woman is genuinely smiling, her eyes are slightly closed. You can also see little wrinkles appear at the sides of her eyes. Lastly, her bottom teeth are not visible.
If this is the case for your crush, her body language is signaling that you brighten her day, even if she’s stressed or angry with the boss. This is a huge sign that a woman is interested in you!
Does she touch your arms, hands and shoulders a little more often than it’s considered appropriate in a work setting? This is a big sign that she finds you attractive—don’t wait to make the first move!
According to the behavior analyst Jack Schafer, she might try to do this in different ways. She could brush lint off your clothes or adjust your tie. Alternatively, you might find her trying to sit closer to you than she does with other male colleagues.
If you like her, don’t make the mistake to pull away when she puts her hands on you. Otherwise, she’d think that you’re not interested in her!
If your office crush tells you that you’re smart, funny or that you give the best advice, she probably likes you. Same if she compliments you often on how you handled a stressful situation or how your project is successful.
The best situation is the one where she starts complimenting you on your physical assets. If she tells you that you’re handsome or manly, she’s definitely trying to flirt with you!
However, many women are too shy to compliment a guy in such a bold way. Therefore, she might show her appreciation for your cologne or outfit instead. It’s always a good sign, regardless of whatever thing she decides to compliment you on!
Mirroring occurs when she mimics your movements or gestures. For example, when at the coffee machine, she might bring her cup to the lips right when you do it too. If you’re sitting with your legs crossed, she does it too.
It usually happens subconsciously and it may be a sign of attraction. It means that she’s very engaged in the conversation with you. According to author and entrepreneur Merce Cardus, “the more that we feel like we really understand somebody . . . the more likely we are to physically mirror what they’re doing.”
However, remember that mirroring can also mean just sympathy. According to the personal growth experts at MindValley.com, “Is mirroring a sign of attraction? Yes, but it comes with a few disclaimers. Mirroring occurs when one person feels a strong connection to another. Now, while this may indicate attraction, it can also indicate camaraderie and close kinship.”
If she caresses her own body or an object when she’s around you, she’s probably trying to flirt! This gesture indicates what she would like you to do to her.
Same if she tries to draw your attention to her lips, neck or collarbone (i.e., some of the sexiest parts of her body). She might put her lipstick on in front of you or fidget with her necklace to make you think about kissing her or touching her neck.
Some women also play with their hair when they’re talking with someone they like. Keep this in mind the next time you see her brushing her tresses!
Another sign of attraction is eye contact. If she looks at you more often than other coworkers and maintains eye contact when you initiate it, she’s likely into you. Plus, if she looks at your mouth often, it’s a clear sign of sexual attraction. She’s probably daydreaming about kissing you!
However, if your crush shies away from eye contact or has trouble maintaining it, all is not lost. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s not attracted to you, but she could be shy or nervous. Perhaps she’s afraid that you won’t reciprocate her feelings, so she tries to maintain a low profile when around you.
If this is the case for her, and you’re good with your peripheral vision, you could catch her stealing glances at you. It’s a good sign: She’s probably smitten with you!
Does she constantly fidget with her hands when talking with you? Does she blush or bite her lip? This could be another sign that she’s attracted to you. However, to be 100% sure, pay attention to how she behaves in front of other people as well. Is she nervous only when she’s with you?
Also, keep in mind that she might be nervous around you if you have a more senior position, especially if you’re in the same workgroup. Let’s say that you’re a project manager, and she has to work under your supervision. This could be the reason for her shyness, not attraction!
Obviously, it's much better if a girl at your work is already interested in you in the first place and gives you some signs that she likes you. From this point on, you just need to notice those signs and take advantage of the opportunity to chat her up and get her number for later.
However, it's not always easy to see these signs and understand if she’s into you. Sometimes, you may need to take matters into your own hands and approach her yourself.
Just don't approach every woman at your workplace: It’s not that professional. Soon, the whole office will consider you a player, as your coworkers will start gossiping. Avoid this massive mistake, and you'll save yourself a lot of frustration and possibly even shame.
That said, here’s how to approach a woman at work:
Find a spot where you cross paths with your crush often. It may be the elevator, the coffee machine or the break room—anything goes.
Try to notice something about that particular place that you can use to spark a conversation with her. Is the coffee awful? If so, take advantage of it: Ask her if she’d like to get a better one at your favorite coffee shop. Is the music in the elevator dull? Ask her what’s her favorite kind of music.
When in doubt, you can always turn to some deep topics that can help her become more attracted to you.
Make sure that you ask her open ended questions (i.e., the ones that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no”). This will make for an interesting conversation!
It’s likely that you don’t have your office crush’s phone number yet. Don’t panic: You probably have her work email or her contact on whatever corporate chat apps your company uses. Use them to your advantage, sending her a funny meme or a joke every now and then.
Only, avoid gossiping on other coworkers, as well as criticizing a project manager or, even worse, the boss. Who knows who could read everything over your shoulders while you stare at the computer!
Additionally, if you want to attract her, you want to look like a positive and light-hearted person, not a rumormonger.
Once you've built up some online rapport, you can take a look at our tips for knowing if a girl likes you online. She might be giving you some serious clues through her emails!
Keep in mind that while you can start flirting online, don't make the mistake of telling her you like her over text. That kind of conversation is better saved for when you're face to face.
If you noticed multiple signs that she’s into you, it’s time to show her that you like her too. A great way to do this is by buying her coffee when you’re both on your break. It’s such a kind gesture that she’ll appreciate it for sure! At the same time, it’s still professional and won’t lead to office gossip.
If you’re already friends with the girl you like, you can bring her a sandwich or, even better, a sweet treat that you baked yourself. Then, you could suggest that you two have lunch at the coffee shop down the street next time.
Women love when you make them feel beautiful. Tell your crush that you love her perfume or that she looks great in her business suit. However, make sure that you don’t overdo it, especially in front of other coworkers. You might embarrass her rather than making her feel good!
If you want to be more discreet, you can also compliment her on something she did at work. Do you work together with her on a project? Tell her that you’re amazed by how she solved a problem or met an impossible deadline.
As the writer Julia Austin says, “one of the main reasons office romances happen is because people feel bonded by going through the same trials and challenges and helping each other through them.” Plus, being kind to a woman never hurts!
Stand up for her when the boss gets mad, or when her coworkers criticize her. Also, offer to help her with tasks that are giving her a headache.
Now, you know how to tell if a girl likes you at work, and how to approach her without getting in trouble. You’re definitely looking forward to Monday morning, aren’t you?
Now if you play your cards right and you know she's into you, you can also try out some tips to get her to ask you out!