Today I’ll talk about how to make a girl want you and reveal what girls want in a guy in general.
These are two very important topics if you want to become successful with women. So I’ll go into greater detail than usual and lay out some gold nuggets which will significantly increase your chances of success with the ladies.
I’ll also answer the age-old question of “What do women look for in a man?” as well as explain what girls want in a lover.
Reading the whole article will get you as close as possible to understanding how to get any girl you want. So let’s get right to it!
There’s tons of misinformation going on around the important topic of what girls want in a guy. So I’m going to put some bad myths to rest and show you what’s what.
Because tons of guys think that all women want is looks, money, fame, status and similar things.
Well, sure -- Looks, money, status and all that jazz is great and is definitely attractive. But it’s not even close to what women really want in men and in their relationships. Unless they’re specifically looking to get laid with a handsome guy who’s also rich and is going to spoil them, without caring about who he is as a person.
The things above are just bonuses which make men more desirable and attractive than usual.
I can say this with confidence because there are lots of guys who have neither of these things and still get laid like rock stars. Guys who have very healthy, awesome and mutually beneficial relationships with great women.
Just as there are rich, good-looking guys who are horrible with women.
We’ve all seen that stereotypical dirt-poor, not particularly good-looking and often disheveled but really laid back dude who’s an utter chick-magnet. Who women followed around all the time and who always got laid in what seems like an unbelievably effortless manner.
What’s that guy’s secret?
It’s pretty simple -- He knows how to make women feel great around him.
And what’s the necessary secret ingredient to do that?
Well, the truth is there’s no one single thing that’ll make all women want you. Actually, there are many things women want in a man.
But they can be put into one all-encompassing and aptly named term called MANLINESS.
And manly men are masculine, among other things.
This is a pretty deep topic and explaining it completely may require a whole book. But here are the finer, oversimplified points:
Manliness and masculinity are two different things.
Masculinity is courage, assertiveness, ambition, risk-taking, confidence, vigor, resilience as well as physical, mental and emotional strength. Among other similar things.
Manliness, on the other hand, is the ability to harness your masculinity in ways that’ll produce effective and beneficial outcomes for everyone involved with you.
In fact, Masculinities studies is a broad field in sociology and psychology concerned with the social construction of what it means to “be a man.” People from different cultures and historic periods view masculinity differently. So it’s contextual and can mean different things to different groups.
The opposite of masculinity is femininity, and they’re both spectrums. Meaning men sometimes display feminine characteristics and women display masculine ones.
In fact, from M.D. Louann Brizendine’s book The Male Brain, there are no 100 percent masculine men, just as there are no 100 percent feminine women. This is evident when, for example, a man has children and cares for them, which is inherently a feminine characteristic.
That said, the vast majority of men are more masculine than feminine, and the vast majority of women are more feminine than masculine. That’s just simple human biology and what drives us towards procreation as a species.
Now here’s the important part: Masculinity attracts femininity, and vice versa because they complement one another. So, displays of masculinity are always going to be massively attractive to feminine women.
It’s the answer to “How to get any girl you want?” Develop your masculinity and display masculine traits when around women, or be manly. It’s all an integral part of understanding how to make a girl want you.
Below, I’ll give some concrete examples of how you can display masculinity to women so you’ll understand what girls want better.
These characteristics will always be attractive to the opposite sex and are exactly what girls want in a guy.
I’ll start off with a really big one.
To get any respect from women and other people in general, you have to stand up for yourself. Because assertiveness is a huge part of masculinity.
There’s almost nothing more unattractive to women than a guy who’s a complete doormat.
But by standing up for yourself, I don’t just mean in a physical way. I mean in every way possible.
For example, time is one of the most precious commodities we have in life. So you should stand up for your time as much as possible, by saying a firm “No” to the things you don’t want to be part of.
Basically, value your time and don’t let people drag you into things you don’t want to do.
Another example would be to stand up for yourself verbally. Be more assertive and tell things like they are. Speak your mind and say what you want from others, especially when it matters.
The physical part of standing up for yourself is also important.
This doesn't mean you should be looking for fights. It simply means that you shouldn’t let people bully you and be prepared to go down swinging, if worst comes to pass.
The point is that if women notice you not standing up for yourself in life, they’ll lose respect and attraction towards you. Plus, people who don’t stand up for themselves rarely get what they want in life.
As a drastic example, there are quite a few men who certain women use and abuse as “personal drivers” and “food providers.” These are guys who don’t stand up for themselves because they’re afraid of “losing the girl,” even though they never actually had her. So don’t just always say what girls want to hear from you and say “No” sometimes.
This is another crucial characteristic of a masculine man. One that people value greatly in others.
Being authentic means you don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It also means you don’t feign interest in things that aren’t really interesting to you, just to please or appease other people.
Being genuine means simply that you don’t lie to yourself and others.
As cliché as it may sound, honest and truthful people are becoming increasingly rare nowadays. But barring certain moments, the honest truth is exactly what girls want to hear when they’re talking to you.
It doesn’t mean you have to completely remove your filter and always tell thing like they are without concern for others. That could potentially be very awkward, weird, insensitive and even hurtful.
But if you’re too afraid to tell a girl that her ass does indeed looks huge in that dress, then you’re anything but genuine. Unless, of course, you need to be tactful because she’s very emotionally distraught and needs comforting.
Women aren’t looking for someone who’s going to lie to them all the time, just to make them feel good.
Relationships always last longer and are much more healthy when they’re based on honesty. Because honesty builds trust and mutual respect.
In any case, don’t pretend to be someone else when talking to women. Don’t be afraid to show your genuine personality because it’s exactly the thing which makes you uniquely interesting. Because the truth’s going to come out eventually anyway. And if you were being disingenuous or lying to people’s faces and pretending to be someone else, they won’t respect you and may even start resenting you.
Refrain from always trying to say what girls want to hear, just to get in their good graces.
Women want men who know what they’re doing in life. They long for this so much in men that having concrete goals and going after them is one way to get women to chase you.
That’s why another characteristic of masculinity is to make goals, then create the necessary plans to achieve them and execute those plans. As opposed to not doing anything productive with your time. Or being complacent and “accepting your place in life.”
Or even letting others always make your goals and plans for you and then going with the flow. Which is why so many guys end up being pressured into studying what their parents “think is best” without making their own path in life.
This is quite important because women don’t like men who do nothing with their lives. Who sit at home and waste away their precious time, doing nothing important or nothing of value.
It doesn’t mean you should never take any time off to do random stuff that has no purpose but to bring you joy. Everyone needs a break and some personal time or they’ll go crazy.
But if that’s all your doing and there are no productive endeavors in your life, don’t be surprised when other people don’t want anything to do with you.
For women to like you and be attracted to you, you have to give them a reason to do so. Being a lazy, good-for-nothing, leeching freeloader is a pretty bad reason.
Women like men of action, who set goals, make plans and then go for what they want without getting discouraged easily.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. Women know that you want to have sex with them.
So there’s absolutely no point in trying to hide it.
Fact is, a healthy display of sexual appetite is very attractive. It’s also very necessary to eventually create sexual tension when you’re seducing women. Because without any sexual tension, they won’t be aroused and won’t want to have sex with you.
Guys who are afraid and especially ashamed of their sexuality usually never get anywhere with women. Because it really shows in all of their interactions. And older women in particular notice this much more easily due to experience.
In fact, when older women seek younger men often look for those who aren’t afraid to show they are comfortable with and open to sex. Because older women tend to have a significantly higher sex drive and want guys who can give them what they want.
So if you want to be successful with women, you need to be unapologetic about your sexuality. It’s one of the main characteristics which separates guys who get laid only occasionally from those who do consistently.
To put it as simply as possible, being unapologetic about your sexuality means understanding that we’re all human and that we all have sexual urges. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having sexual urges, so you don’t have to hide this fact from women.
If women see you’re able to talk about sex casually, like it’s just any other subject, they’ll respect you greatly. They’ll understand you have no hang ups when it comes to sex and that you’re used to having sex regularly. Which is very attractive because it’s part of “preselection” by other women.
Preselection is important because women are very attracted to guys who other women are attracted to.
Another masculine trait is not letting emotions get the better of you. And instead preferring facts and truth over feelings.
We’re getting pretty deep into the rabbit hole here and delving into advanced inner game. But this characteristic of a masculine man is often overlooked yet very important.
The best way I can explain this is with an analogy.
Imagine you’re a big oak tree. Powerful, unmovable, stable and strong, not bending to the wind and being unaffected by the elements and everything that’s around you.
Now imagine the girl as a squirrel, running up and down and around the tree that is you. Trying to get your nut (your affection and approval). Being affected by everything from wind to rain to random noises in the environment and reacting emotionally to every predator that’s out there. Whereas you stay strong, calm, chill, relaxed and collected through all of it.
Masculine men, most of the time, are in full control of themselves and their internal emotional state. The environment they’re in doesn’t really have much effect on their emotions because they trust themselves and know they can handle things coming their way. While most women are victims of their surroundings, which dictate some of the emotions they might feel.
Simply put, women feel anxious and panic much more often than men and get emotional due to their surroundings. It’s one of the reasons why significantly more men usually risk their lives in life-threatening and dangerous professions like firefighters, police, military, etc.
It all comes down to protectiveness, aggressiveness, and even proclivity towards violence. Which are all masculine characteristics.
Yes, even ability to do violence is attractive because it’s a core masculine characteristic.
I’m sure you already know that women go crazy over guys who seem dangerous. Now you understand why.
Do you want to know how to make a girl want you when you’re talking to her? Show you’re a confident man who trusts that things will always turn out fine. This is perfect if you want to attract a girl at work.
Everyone knows about this characteristic of masculinity so I’m not going to go into much detail about it here.
If you want more information, then read my other article on how to have amazing confidence with women. Which also includes a whole section about Shamelessness -- another very important masculine characteristic.
What do women look for in a man who has it all? The answer is passion.
I’m sure you’ve heard many women say they want passionate men. But what does it really mean?
Well, it’s quite a nebulous subject but it basically means you should be doing things in the moment and enjoying them to the fullest.
People can be passionate about anything. They can be passionate about their hobbies, jobs, various objects and even other people.
I’m sure you have something in your life you’re really passionate about. Something you can talk about for hours on end, with endless excitement and enthusiasm.
If you can convey the same type of enthusiasm and endless joy when talking about something while around women, you’ll quickly notice their excitement rise as well. She might show signs that she likes you when you become more animated. That’s because passion is very contagious.
I mean, it’s really difficult to be around a fiery person and not get swept away by their excitement and raw emotions. Even if they’re passionate about something you never thought could be interesting to you.
For example, I’m very passionate about video games because I’ve grown up with them. I always bring this subject up on my dates, even though most guys would dread talking about this when they’re around beautiful women. Because they’re afraid of seeming nerdy or geeky and embracing their hobbies fully.
But I simply love video games because they’re pieces of high art. The music, the graphics and the stories they show and tell are out of this world, literally. I can talk about this stuff for ages and never get tired.
The trick is to focus on the emotional part when talking about your passions and forego the really technical bits. This draws people in and makes them want to be a part of your world.
There are many more masculine traits to list and talk about and I could go on about this forever. In fact, delving deep into the psychology of women and men and the relationships between them is one of my passions. But I digress.
I’ve shown you some of the most important masculine characteristics. If you want women to be attracted to you sexually, you have to work on these and other traits as much as possible. As well as learn how to flirt with women.
The more you grow and mature, the easier it will be to attract and seduce women. But only if you actively work on yourself.
That said, some guys may get discouraged by reading all of this. Because it may feel like these characteristics just don’t describe them as a man.
Well, don’t be. Just because you may not yet embody all of these masculine traits fully, you aren’t less of a man.
That’s because, like I said before, masculinity and manliness are two different things.
Manliness is about harnessing all of the tools we have at our disposal. These include our physiology, life experience, values and beliefs, hormones, mindsets, outlook on life, etc. And masculinity is just one more tool, which you can develop. We use all these tools to produce the outcomes that we’re after in life. This is manliness.
And being manly is the only answer to the question of how to make a girl want you.
So what do women look for in a man? Masculine characteristics which show he’s manly.
That’s why every man will always benefit from improving themselves and working on their masculinity. It’s the only way to really learn how to get any girl you want in life. Because all women respond positively to such men.
Now that you understand how to make a girl want you, it’s up to you to start working on yourself.