Is laughing during sex ever okay? Imagine it for a moment. You’re alone with the woman you’re sleeping with, you’re both naked, and you’re getting it on. It’s getting really hot, then suddenly... she bursts out laughing.
Sound familiar? Why did it happen? Why does it ever happen?
And most importantly: Is it ever okay to laugh during sex, when it seems like it would ruin the mood?
You might be surprised, especially when you hear what the experts say. Laughing during intimacy is not only normal, but it may even be healthy for your relationship, as well. Here’s why.
Laughing During Sex: Reasons You're Giggling
There are many reasons you or she (or both of you) would laugh during sex. And believe it or not, the reasons are quite mundane. Take the top four reasons, for instance:
#1: You're having fun
Let’s face it: Sex is fun. We’d do it all the time if we could. And what do human beings normally do when they’re enjoying themselves a lot?
They laugh, that’s what.
Many men today think it’s somehow inappropriate to laugh during sex since it “ruins the mood.” The thing is: Who decided what the mood should be like during sex?
Most of us get our ideas about the “ideal sex scene” from Hollywood or porn. And as you’ll learn later in this article, that’s a recipe for unhappiness and emptiness in life.
Ever noticed how mundane real life is compared to what the film industry portrays? The same simplicity also affects our sex lives—it’s just two people having fun. And we can—and should—shape our own “ideal sex scenes” depending on what works for us.
#2: It's awkward
The second possible reason we laugh during sex is awkwardness. Sometimes two people are nervous—maybe it’s their first time to have sex with each other, or it feels weird because they were friends before they decided to hook up.
Nervous laughter is a natural human way to break the tension. It lightens the mood and helps you relax, which in turn leads to a better experience.
Nothing to worry about!
(NOTE: If you’ve always been awkward with women and you want to do something about it, here’s the last article you’ll need to read.)
#3: It's an uncontrollable high
The third possible reason? Sex is such an uncontrollable emotional high for some people. The instant cocktail of pleasure hormones leads to spontaneous laughter.
So if a woman has ever laughed during sex, she’s probably not laughing at you. Instead, she’s beside herself with the emotional high you’re putting her on.
I’d say if that’s not the ultimate compliment, it comes pretty close.
#4: You're completely vulnerable
Lastly, another possible reason for laughing during sex is feeling extremely vulnerable.
It makes sense, right? Think about it—you’re stark naked with another person and completely at each other’s mercy. That’s scary, and it goes double for women because you’re bigger and stronger than they are.
When you’re having sex with a woman, she’s utterly defenseless. And to ease her fear, she instinctively laughs, hoping you’d chuckle too.
Why? It’s because when you laugh with her, it reassures her she’s in no danger. If you don’t laugh with her, she feels even more vulnerable—perhaps enough to change her mind about sleeping with you.
It’s all Mother Nature’s beautiful design. Laughing is the woman’s way of diffusing tension and ensuring her own safety. It’s not personal, so don’t take it so.
Now, you might think: “But there was one time when she laughed at me during sex because I finished too fast, or I did something that ruined the mood, or she wasn’t satisfied. How do I not take that personally?”
Well, let’s look at why laughing during sex is okay—even if she laughs at you for not performing well enough.
Why Laughing During Intimacy is Okay
When you think of a good, satisfying sex scene, what comes to mind? Probably something along the following lines:
- A perfect-looking man and a perfect-looking woman having hot, sensual sex
- They’re really, really into each other—it’s enough to make you wish you were the lucky guy
- There’s no laughing whatsoever
Sounds close, right?
Now, here’s the question: Where did you get that “standard” for a good sex scene? What shaped—or more accurately, what’s shaping—your expectations around sex?
Most likely it’s one or both of the following: Hollywood and the porn industry.
And here’s why that’s more problematic than you think...
Hollywood is overrated
Movies were never meant to shape your worldview. And that includes your standards and expectations for sex.
Understand this: Movies are there to make money. And to do that, they must entertain enough paying moviegoers to be profitable.
What do you think would be more entertaining? A sensual sex scene between two attractive actors? Or a funny, clumsy one with two ugly unknowns?
Easy choice for the producers, right?
So if you ever liked movies, you probably got the idea that sex should look, feel, and sound certain ways. Nope—what you’ve been exposed to is the brand of sex that gets people to pay money and watch.
Not exactly the kind of sex you’re going for in your personal life, right?
And speaking of sex that sells...
Porn does not represent real life
This should go without saying, but let’s say it anyway. Porn doesn’t represent real life, and it doesn’t paint the reality of sex. Like Hollywood, the porn industry is there to make money. (And a bit of trivia—it makes even more money than Hollywood.)
In porn, addiction is the name of the game. It gets you hooked, you watch even more of it, and the studios get more money. So how do they hook you? With attractive actresses and scripted scenes.
And you know how rarely real life matches what they show on screen, right? Very few of us have super-celebrity bodies. Most of us are a little out of shape. Our bed scenes are not exactly Hollywood material.
And, yes, we laugh during sex much more often than they do in porn.
It's never personal
Lastly, unless you did something to offend or disappoint her, it’s never personal when she laughs during sex. As you’ve just learned, it’s a natural human reaction. Not only is it normal—it’s also healthy when you think about it. Laughter strengthens your emotional connection with each other, making intimacy even more enjoyable and rewarding.
CAVEAT: In case you’re thinking: “Okay, but my situation is really different. I’m sure she’s laughing at me, not with me. She also criticizes me in bed and out of it. What should I do?”
If that’s your situation, then you might be dating a high-maintenance woman—and you may want to plan your exit soon. In even the worst case, you’ll have her to thank for making you realize it’s time to leave her.
Get Comfortable Expressing Your Emotions
To wrap up, remember that one of the biggest reasons why so many men are dissatisfied with life is this: Wild expectations. We expect way too much, and when reality hits us and we’re forced to lower our standards, we get jaded and disappointed.
It’s true with life in general, and it’s also true with our sex lives in particular. Thanks (or no thanks) to the conditioning we get from media, porn, and Hollywood, our expectations for intimacy get quite lofty.
Are you setting yourself up for dissatisfaction?
It really is a laughing matter
When you take a step back to analyze the situation (such as by reading articles like this one), you’ll soon realize it’s really not a big deal. In fact, what society would label as “weird” turns out to be quite beneficial for you and your relationship.
Hopefully, you’ll realize you’re taking yourself more seriously than you need to, or that you’re holding yourself to unrealistic standards. Simmer down and focus on what makes you (and your woman) happy—it’s that simple.
Don’t get too comfortable
All that said, here’s a parting note of warning: Don’t get too comfortable expressing your emotions, especially if you want an exclusive long-term relationship with the woman you’re dating. It may backfire on you.
It’s one thing to laugh during sex—that’s good and healthy. It’s another thing to be completely vulnerable with her, to the point of constantly telling her your weaknesses, flaws, fears, and screw-ups. That’s not healthy at all.
Why not? Simply because it erodes her confidence in you. Women need men who are attentive, affectionate, capable, and determined—the classic traits of a “real man,” in other words.
Being vulnerable moves you away from that. It makes you look weak and fragile. And it makes her less interested in a long-term relationship with you.
So if you need to be vulnerable, do so with your male friends or psychiatrist. Meanwhile, if you want a serious relationship with this woman, give her your best—not your worst.