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Are You With the Right Person at the Wrong Time?

Dating the right person at the wrong time

You met an amazing woman, but something is preventing the two of you from being together. The problem could be with either of you. The mismatch makes you a victim of the right person, wrong time phenomenon.

Although the time spent with a woman like that is exhilarating, it can be a frustrating experience. No matter how much both of you try, something prevents you from being together and manifesting the life you think you’ll have with her.

Meeting the right person at the wrong time can happen for several reasons and be a rewarding experience if you extract the benefits. Let’s explore some of the situations that can be roadblocks to being with the right person and what you can do to make it a positive experience.

What Does Wrong Timing in a Relationship Mean?

Wrong timing in a relationship means finding the right person for you during a period of your life when other aspects are a priority. There are several ways this can manifest itself.

Pursuing your passions

Finding an amazing woman may be extremely important to you, but your goals rank higher. This especially pertains to highly ambitious men. They’ve tasted success in their field and want to dedicate more time to it to optimize the rewards. It’s nothing personal against her; it’s just that the dream comes first.

The two of you may share the same goals but not at the same stage of both your lives. You agree to have two children, but you want to postpone it for a few years to save up more money. She wants children now, so the incompatibility of your goals serves as a barrier to advancing the relationship.

Baggage from the previous relationship

Dealing with past relationship baggage

Don’t punish her for what your previous partner did to you, and don’t settle for her if she does it to you. Either of you may not be ready to form a bond because you had a bad experience in a previous relationship.

The issues from your past relationships should not be carried into the new relationship. Her previous partner left her after having sex with her, so she’s withholding sex from you. This punishes you for his behavior and conceives the assumption that you’re like him. If she’s still wallowing in the pain from the previous relationship, she could be using you as a rebound.

Keeping the past where it belongs and giving her the benefit of the doubt enables you to judge her based on her qualities.

The logistics are impractical

You met her on a dating site such as Ashley Madison, and sparks are flying. Everything seems to be falling into place, but there’s one big problem: both of you are in a relationship. What makes the agony of not being together worse is that both of your partners weren’t the first choice. But you feel bad about breaking up with your girlfriend because she treated you well and hasn’t given you a reason to leave.

Or you two are single but far away from each other. Sure, you can visit each other, but one of you has an issue with long-distance dating. The physical distance between the two of you may cause an emotional drift and make you question if there is somebody better who is closer.

The risk is too high

A relationship is an investment, and the return needs to be higher than the risk for it to be worthwhile. Sometimes the risk is so high that it’s not worth exploring, even if she seems like the right person.

You may value your job highly, and it’s tempting to make a move on the hot receptionist who’s made it obvious she’s into you. It’s unfortunate that company policy forbids romantic relationships among colleagues.

Another high-risk situation is being with a single mother. Even if you accept her child, you have no legal rights to the child, who may later remind you that you’re not his/her father when trying to instill discipline. To make things worse, you may be ordered to pay child support if a court determines you have a duty to maintain the child after parting ways with the mother.

Your schedules don’t align

A mismatch in each other's schedule

Is the right person, wrong time a real thing? You’ll truly understand that it is when your schedule doesn’t align with hers. Time management can be a serious issue for people looking after an ailing family member or who has a high-pressure job requiring overtime availability.

The two of you may work different shifts and can never seem to find a mutual time to be together. Time can present an insurmountable challenge that it feels like you two are in a long-distance relationship.

What to Do If You Meet the Right Person at the Wrong Time?

Experiencing the right person wrong time stage can help you grow your character and potentially provide future benefits.

Keep in touch

Now might not be the right time to be with her, but both of your situations and inspirations may change in the near future. It’s possible the two of you will be on the same page later down the line, but you’ll only know that if you stay in touch.

You don’t want to live with regret and wonder what could’ve been if you change your mind about her a few months from now. By maintaining communication, you’ll find out more about her and if she truly is the one. If she isn’t, a lifetime of friendship could be paved.

Consider she could be the wrong person

Meeting a woman who shares your values and interests but has trust issues because of her previous relationship could mean she’s the wrong person. Even if she enters a relationship with you, she may question your whereabouts, motives, and explanations.

Such a person provides resistance to a relationship that makes it difficult to move forward. It’s important that her mental state matches yours and that the two of you are at the same stages of your lives. You might be ready for a relationship but she values her career more. Timing is crucial to start a relationship.

Learn from the experience

In most situations, you can extract more positives than negatives. Not only did you spend time with an amazing woman, but you learned more about your qualities and what makes you a great partner. Your flaws would’ve also cropped up.

Being with her would’ve shown you what it is exactly you want from a partner. Whatever challenge prevented the two of you from being together is the thing you will avoid from the next partner.

Reflect on the time spent with her to remind yourself of your strengths and work on your weaknesses. Use the experience with her as a reference that you’re worthy of having an amazing woman and it’s a matter of time before you find her, especially during times when hope seems lost.

Maintain your standards

Ultimately breaking up

Just because she wasn’t able to fulfill your needs, it doesn’t mean you need to lower your standards (considering they’re reasonable) when searching for a new partner. This also pertains to you while you’re with her—don’t change your personality or adjust your goals to ensure she’s satisfied.

If she is the right person, she’ll accept you as you are. Changing yourself to suit her won’t do either of you any favors. You’ll be tired of the act, and she’ll eventually pick up on it. You’re likely to develop resentment towards her if she wants you to deviate from your goals. Remain true to yourself at all times.

Ensure an abundance mindset

After realizing you two cannot be together, have the courage to walk away. Letting go of someone special is difficult, especially if you’ve never met someone like her. It can be challenging to believe that you’ll meet another woman who’s as special as her. Consider her to be a pleasant pit stop, which you enjoyed and learned from, on your destination to meeting the right person. The global female population is almost four billion, and the chances of you meeting somebody more special are high.

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