You often hear about younger women dating older men and people say, "Oh, she's just in it for the money." While it may be true in some cases, it's not necessarily the most common reason women choose to date older guys. What attracts a younger woman to an older man isn't just about money or status. As much as men are obsessed with being with MILFs and cougars, young women too are also interested in attractive older men who have it together.
And by "old" I mean the age at which he can still have sex effectively which is normally up to a man's late sixties and early seventies. Sometimes the guy isn't even loaded and yet younger women flock to him. So what is it about this age difference that women want? We have some answers below.
What Attracts a Younger Woman to an Older Man
There are many traits that attract a younger woman to an older man. Some of these apply to men in general and not just older men while others are based on the girl's personality and the way she was raised.
Here are the ones that really stick out:
1. Older men are classy
Single, well-rounded men between 35 and 60 take really good care of themselves. He may not have the ferociousness of a 20-year-old, but most attractive guys over 35 at least have a stable enough income to take good care of himself. Think of hiring a private coach instead of wasting months trying to figure out how to see your abs for the first time.
In addition to paying for coaching and quality food, older men can afford to look classy. Think of a neat beard, nice watches, and a cool collection of shoes and tuxes. Compare this to young guys who want to keep up with TikTok trends: baggy shorts and giant Jordans and you get the full picture.
2. Older men tend to be resourceful
And by "resourcefulness" I don't only mean money. An attractive older man will have his career sorted out already. He makes good money that solves many of his problems - and hers too - as well as a decent contact book for a network that took him years to build. This network of friends and colleagues will make his (and his future girlfriend's) life better.
Also, resourcefulness means he's reliable. He's been through his own problems and has seen a lot so most of the things that phase younger men are history to him. He is self-reliant and knows how to work his way out of a problem. This goes from fixing a flat tire to saving a business from bankruptcy.
3. Younger women are attracted to older men with unique skills
Women like men with skills. Some evolutionary explanations attribute this to being wealthy since only rich people have enough spare time to pursue their hobbies while having other people working for them.
Developing skills takes time, which means that - at least on paper - an older man had more time to develop his skills than a younger man. These female-intriguing skills can be anything from martial arts to cooking a fancy dinner.
When I moved to Barcelona, I wasn't surprised that I was the youngest practitioner at my Aikido dojo (29 y/o at the time). The six other Aikidokas were between 40 and 60, and they all looked in shape, and I bet if you check their phones you'll find a younger girlfriend lurking somewhere on their WhatsApp or Instagram.
4. Older men are often less attached than guys in her age
If she leaves she won't probably be his first breakup.
A single older man is either divorced or dates a lot, which means he's accustomed to women entering and exiting his life. This lack of neediness gives him power over younger girls who may not be used to a man who can easily let her go if she misbehaves.
5. They're often more understanding
An older man understands the difficulty that comes with being young and trying to figure life on one's own. Age and the women he dated before made him familiar with the girl's problems and are able to offer a hand.
Older men highly value their peace of mind, which makes them also more likely to let the silly stuff slide. He will only speak up when it's absolutely necessary, which makes him less of a pain in the ass than a younger dude who doesn't know how to take action. This assertiveness is also attractive to younger women who tend to gravitate to men with specific boundaries.
6. Good in bed
He may not last for as many rounds as a 17 y/o freshman, but he will last longer, and give you more orgasms. Studies show that healthy men can have sex up to the age of 70. And since we're talking about a well-rounded older man who takes good care of himself, don't assume that his fire hose is no longer working. Older men can still get it on, especially with many of them being on Testosterone Replacement Therapy (TRT).
Studies also show that young people are having less sex than they should, which means that a hot 40 y/o man has probably been with more women than the average 20 y/o. Why is it good for him (and the girl)?
Probably because he had his fair share of "oh f***, did you cum already" and knows how to please a woman in bed. Proper cunnilingus and timing one's ejaculation takes time and practice, which is something old men have plenty of.
7. What attracts a younger woman to an older man: his place.
No, it's not a matter of being materialistic. Instead, it's about having some privacy. A guy in his teens and 20s probably has a roommate or lives with his parents. That's bad news if things get steamy.
A guy who's older usually has his own place where he can have date nights, movie nights and of course, a place to get it on. Aside from that, it's also a lot easier to move in together if things get serious. He doesn't need to worry about finding a new place or kicking out his roommates.
8. Older men know how to be mysterious
He's been there, done that, and seen a lot over the years. But he's not going to brag about it every chance he gets. Instead, older men usually share their life story only when feel close to a woman. And once he does share, you can bet that women are all over that.
Think Richard Burke in Friends. He doesn't talk much and prefers to show more than talk. Yet when he does, he has his way around young women's hearts.
9. Finally, older men can fill a void for some younger women
Okay, so it's not exactly a good idea to date a younger woman just because she has daddy issues and you're filling the role. But it does add to the appeal of older men.
Some younger women simply want to date an older man who embodies everything their dads aren't: confident, resourceful, protective, reliable, etc. If you're both only in it for a quick hookup, no problem. But if you want to be in a relationship with a younger woman because she sees you as a daddy replacement, you'll probably realize that she's not the type of woman you want to be with in the long run.
Signs a Younger Woman Likes You
So, assuming you got all or most of the traits mentioned earlier. How can you know if a younger woman likes you? What are the signs to look for and how can you tell if a younger woman likes you for things beyond your money and status?
Here are the signs that stick out:
1. Her body language is inviting
If a girl likes you, she will make sure you know it through her body language. Does she invade your personal space in a playful way? Consistently plays with her hair or jewelry around you or maybe reveals some extra skin to impress you? When you give her your hand and walk by her, does she hold tight instead of giving you a loose arm?
Or maybe she keeps touching you for no reason and tends to lock eyes with you more often than usual with cute bambi eyes?
A cluster of these signs means that either she’s a real sociopath (lol), or she really likes you.
2. She’s on “investigator” mode
Her mind is trying to figure you out, but it still needs more info to fill the gap. So she keeps asking questions about your past, work, and possibly past relationships. These questions are usually incredibly personal--so personal that only someone who's invested in you will ask.
For instance, you rarely meet a girl on Tinder who asks about your favorite fragrance because, well there are more important questions to ask. But these deep, intimate questions usually signal that a girl is interested in you beyond just a date.
Also, some girls may envision a future or a certain lifestyle with you, so they might ask questions to see if you fit their criteria of a future lover. In short, she assessing you as a potential future boyfriend.
3. One of the biggest signs a younger woman likes you: she wants you to ask her questions
I have seen this one A LOT, especially from girls who think I’m a boyfriend material. If she sees herself as more than just a hot body to you then she might tell you to ask her stuff that can build a connection and hopefully lead to common interests between you two.
She wants to get to know you to see if you're boyfriend material. But she also wants to prove herself to you so that you'll consider her as a possible girlfriend. Dating is a lot like a series of interviews (albeit a lot more fun), so she wants to see if you're interested in her as well.
4. She cancels other plans for you
A younger woman who's not that into you will act distant the moment they find something more fun to do.
But a younger woman who likes you will always free up some time to see you even if it means she’ll have to cancel on her friends or family. She’s also less flaky and tends to be the first to ask for a reschedule if she misses a date with you. Compare this to a girl who always complains about her busy schedule and justifies not meeting you with juggling so many things at work.
5. She uses your lingo
If you spend some time with a person you like, some of their lingo and slang will eventually catch up on you. The same thing happens around women.
Let's face it, there's a generational divide among Gen-Z women, millennial women and Gen X women in terms of language. So if you're checking to see if a Gen-Z girl is into you, you'll notice that she'll use less slang when she's around you. On top of that, she might even adopt some words that you frequently use so that there's no miscommunication between you.
6. She opens up to you gradually
Some people share too much personal info early on. It's a great way to strike up a friendship. But if a younger woman likes you, she won't bare her heart and soul the first time you meet. Instead, she'll see if she can trust you first and then she'll share her life with you. I’m talking about gradually showing you a side of herself that she'll only show to someone she really likes.
It usually means you have scored high on the familiarity part of attraction and she feels secure enough around to vent out. It’s a good sign but make sure you’re not just a friend to her.
7. She actually pays attention
She knows about your two dogs, your lactose intolerance, the mean secretary at your office and how much you like blueberry jello. If your girl seems to remember all these details about you then she’s paying attention and putting the effort to make you like her.
8. She often breaks the silence
The next time you’re on a date with a girl, leave a couple of awkward silences and see if she will fill them. When a girl is interested in you she will try to keep it going either on text or face to face. It’s not a big sign that she likes you but it’s a good one if it keeps happening.
The younger a woman is, the more impatient she tends to be when it comes to texting. If you don't reply to her within a couple of hours, a woman who likes you will almost always follow up. That's one big sign a younger woman likes you.
So what really attracts a younger woman to an older man? With the information we listed above, you know it's not just about money. And once you feel like you have most of the things younger women find attractive, you can check to see if the younger woman you've had your eye on is also into you. Good luck!