If you’re friends with a woman but feelings have started to develop, it can be as risky as it is exciting. It makes for an interesting dynamic - and one that has to be played carefully to some extent.
If you make your move and find she just wants to be friends, it can make the friendship awkward. On the other hand, if you never even try, you’ll always be left wondering. I can tell you from experience, wondering is infinitely worse than being turned down.
The good news is, there are so many signals you can look for that mitigate some of this risk. Subtle indications she’s feeling it too - so you’re not just taking a leap of faith and hoping for the best.
Thankfully, there are simple tests that can make it more obvious - and I've gathered them in one place. After reading through them? You’ll have a much better idea of how to see if a girl likes you as more than a friend.
Note that no single indication alone is a guaranteed green light. If you’re seeing several of them at once though, your chances are easily good enough to go for it. At a certain point, you’ll have to make a decision — either go for it or walk away and let it go.
Let’s jump straight into those signals right now.
Easily the best indication and the easiest to spot. If you find her often making excuses to be around you, things are off to a good start.
This can take so many forms depending on the context. If you’re at a house party together and you notice she’s always in your general vicinity, there’s probably a reason.
Maybe you both head out with a group of friends for lunch. Take your seat first and see where she sits down. If she’s into you, she’ll go out of her way to take the seat right beside you.
For me, the most recent example of this was with a woman that notoriously stayed in on weeknights. Nevertheless, I invited her out for a couple of drinks with me late one night and she said yes. We went to a large booth, I sat on one side and she slid around to be right by me.
Exactly what this looks like in your current context is irrelevant. If she’s making an effort to be near you, take that as your first green light and start watching for more.
Now maybe you’re a funny guy and we all know humor goes a long way in the dating world. Have you ever noticed just how hard she laughs at even your lamest joke? Consider that signal number two and probably the most obvious test to see if a girl likes you.
She’s having fun being around you, paying you extra attention and wants to make sure you feel good around her. The very fact that she’s with you means she’s in a happy and playful mood as well.
With some women, this could mean a bit of a laugh at an intentionally lame joke. Or she could be a bit more obvious about it. If you’re thinking to yourself “I didn’t think it was that funny . . . ?” Perfect.
Especially if you share the same group of friends, this can be another very obvious sign she’s into you. That makes it a perfect test to see if a girl likes you, right?
The thing is, if she’s interested in you, she’s probably been talking to her friends about it. They’ll know what’s going on and the whole thing can be a little scandalous among the group.
Naturally, that means the others will be paying closer attention to how the two of you interact with each other. If you start to notice your friends shooting obvious glances across the table or watching the two of you closely? This could be why.
Just as obvious, you might find that when you head back from the bathroom their conversation suddenly stops. They’re talking about you and it’s probably a very good sign.
If your friends are anything like mine, they might even go so far as to put the two of you together. Not-so-subtly forcing the two of you to sit together at the table or in the cinema. Maybe pairing the two of you up for team events or making an excuse to leave the two of you alone.
All of this is because she’s been talking about being into you and they’re excited to help it all along!
Touch is a very personal and deliberate thing, particularly when we’re talking about the opposite sex.
If you find that she’s touching you a lot and often for unnecessary things? She’s trying to get your attention and escalate things a little. Or she's testing the water to see if you’re interested too.
It could be in the form of a hug goodbye. Or gently pressing against you as you show her something on your phone. If you’re lucky (or maybe because you’ve been missing her subtle signals!) she’ll be more obvious. Like putting an arm around you, sitting on your lap or grabbing your hand to lead you somewhere.
Whatever form it comes in, physical contact is almost always deliberate and a pretty strong sign from most women.
You know what I’m talking about. . . "that" kind of eye contact.
Making eye contact is normal but there’s a certain kind you’re going to see if she’s into you. Rather than just catching each other’s glance and looking away, this is intentional. She’ll hold your gaze for that bit longer to make sure you notice.
If she wants to be very obvious, it’ll even be accompanied by a slight narrowing of the eyes and a smile. When you see it, you’ll know; trust me. There’s no mistaking that look.
Eye contact is an important part of our interactions in general. The type and duration can tell us so much about how a person is feeling. And that’s absolutely the case in the world of dating too.
If you’re looking for a simple test here, you can be the one to initiate and see how she responds. The next time you catch her gaze, hold it for a moment and give a slight smile.
If she reciprocates, this is an excellent sign for you. It’s a very simple test and subtle enough that if she’s not down, things won’t be awkward.
Think about a female acquaintance that you aren’t attracted to for whatever reason. Imagine they start making sexual jokes or tell you a story that involves one of their sexual encounters. It’s probably going to make you feel a little uncomfortable, right?
On the other hand, think about the most attractive woman you know, maybe someone in your office. And how different you’d feel if she shared this same story with you…
It’s quite similar for women and for the same reason. If she finds you attractive, she’ll not only be comfortable discussing sex, but it's something she’ll want to discuss.
That doesn’t mean you should drop an inappropriate joke at the next staff meeting and hope for the best. If the topic does come up, see how she reacts to it; it could be another great signal.
If you notice she’s initiating or actively contributing to conversations around sex or dating, that’s great! Even more so if this is otherwise out of character for her.
If she’s usually the shy type but she’s eager to talk to you about it, that’s a big deal. It means not only is she comfortable with you but she’s thinking about sex while with you as well.
Have you ever had a phone call from a female friend late at night and you wondered why? Especially when it was just to tell you something that could have waited until the next day? If so, you may have missed another sign.
Whether she’s home alone, bored and thinking about you, or out with friends and drunk dialing, the result's the same. Even though she’s nowhere near you, she still felt the need to talk to you one-on-one.
If she’s interested in you, you’re going to be on her mind often and she enjoys getting to know you. Given the chance, she’ll happily have that late-night chat with you before she goes to bed.
I mean let's face it; you feel exactly the same if you’re into her too, right?
This is some general body language you can observe wherever there's rapport. Sit somewhere opposite her, like a table, and see if she mirrors your posture. Maybe you’re both sitting on a chair facing each other and you’re leaning forward, elbows on your knees. Does she match that same posture?
It won’t be immediate but you’d be surprised how obvious this one is when it happens. Yet most people are totally oblivious.
This is a normal trait for humans in general when we’re really paying attention to somebody else. And particularly when we want the other person to accept us.
Think about the words you choose and the way you might act when you meet someone’s grandparents. Whether we like it or not, we change how we act if we want the other person to like us. More often than not, we’ll be changing to be more like the other person.
Once you’re mindful of this signal it can become fascinating to watch. Start watching out for it in other people the next time you’re out in public. The more you practice being aware, the more obvious it’ll be for you to notice it in her too.
This can be another of the more obvious signs that’s she’s into you. Perhaps you go camping a lot and she starts asking you about your last trip. Or she hints that she’d be interested in joining you on your next one. Even though she doesn’t seem like the outdoors type at all.
Often this is a combination of a few other points covered in this article. She cares about what you enjoy doing and wants to impress you. Most importantly, she wants to spend more time around you without taking you away from your usual activities.
It can be such a great way to ease into things and test the waters. If it’s a camping trip, then you have plenty of time with each other to explore the potential. If it’s a sport, you have a chance to impress. (Note: this does NOT mean you should try to show off, it rarely works in your favor!) And probably plenty of reason to see if she’s comfortable with physical contact.
Whatever the case may be, she’s offering you a great opportunity to get close to her. And you may even want to reciprocate. “Okay, you’ve been a good sport and came to play tennis. When are you taking me to [her preferred activity]?”
Unless she’s the forward type who beats you to it, you’ll have to take a chance eventually and ask her out. At least armed with these potential tells you can be a little more comfortable with taking that risk. And the whole thing will be that much less intimidating.
If you struggle to see these signs or know exactly what they look like? It can be helpful to keep an eye on your group of friends at the next party. You may just notice that one person laughing a little too hard at a joke. Or that bit of extra touching that you were previously oblivious to.
With a bit of practice, noticing these tells become second nature. You’ll naturally test to see if a girl likes you without even realizing it!