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What Is Ashley Madison? Tips and Tricks for Dating Success

Ashley Madison Tips and Tricks

Ashley Madison has built a name for itself in the online hookup sphere. But what is it? Is it a site that’s exclusively for married people looking for affairs? Is it a typical hookup app with the extra perk of helping you hook up with married women (if you’re into that). Or is it an outright scam? For those who are still wondering “What Is Ashley Madison?” or rather, WHO is Ashley Madison, here’s the complete guide for you.

In our review, Ashley Madison was rated as one of the best websites for landing a quick hookup with a beautiful woman. And not just married women, mind you. There are some single women here who are also looking to hook up with anyone, single or otherwise.

However, you’ll still be competing with other men on this website, so it’s worth acting upon these tips to give yourself the best chance of making real-life connections with amazing women.

What Is Ashley Madison?

Ashley Madison is an online dating website for casual hookups and extramarital affairs. Single people are welcome to use the website, but the majority of women you’ll encounter on this website will be looking for a bit of fun outside their marriage.

The unique selling point of this website is the ability to partially anonymize your profile in a variety of ways, but this presents its own set of problems that can hamper your search for a suitable match.

Ashley Madison also runs a credits system, where you’ll be charged for every conversation you want to start. That means you’ll probably want to be more selective than usual when choosing who to message.

But who is Ashley Madison? Is she the founder? Maybe she’s one of the first users of the site before it even had a name. Actually, it’s a lot more benign–the founders of the site simply mashed together two of the most popular names in North America. That’s literally it.

The selection of Ashley Madison tips and tricks below will help you navigate these hurdles, so you can find a great hook-up partner without having to spend a small fortune on credits.

Ashley Madison Tips And Tricks: Finding Hookups

Ashley Madison homepage

Now you understand what is Ashley Madison, let’s explore some useful tips to help you increase your success on this website. I spent many weeks testing every element of this website for our Ashley Madison review, so I have a few tricks up my sleeve that will help you attract more women.

This advice will focus specifically on how to succeed with Ashley Madison, so I’ll skip the basic tips about how to be a good online dater in general. If you’re looking for more generic online dating tips, start with these guides on what types of photos to use and what types of messages to send.

How to create a great Ashley Madison profile

Ashley Madison has a lot of active users, both male and female, considering its niche nature. So, let’s start with some pointers on how to create a profile that stands out from the crowd.

Show as much of yourself as you’re comfortable with

Ashley Madison features a number of tools to help you partially anonymize your profile. You may be keen to do this if you’re planning an affair yourself. But you can also do this if you’re just looking for hookups and don’t want people to see you on the site.

However, you’re likely to get more attention from women if you have a public photo that reveals what you look like.

So, if you are dead set on hiding your identity, try to still give the ladies of Ashley Madison something to work with.

You could do this by using the partial blur or mask features offered.

Blur feature on Ashley Madison

However, you might find more success using an unblurred photo that shows your torso and jawline, but not the top of your head. These can prove more tempting to a woman than a blurred photo - especially if you have a good body - and they can be taken in a way that keeps your identity well hidden.

Sexy profile on Ashley Madison

Make use of the ‘Private Photos’ feature

You can choose to upload private photos to your profile, which other members can only view if you grant them permission (with your “private key”). This feature is probably the best way to protect your identity, so you should definitely make use of it if you do anonymize your main photo.

Include a prompt in your bio that hints at what your private photos show, so women will be more inspired to request your private key. You can say something like:

  • “You can see my full face in my private photos” - straightforward; lots of women dig that
  • “Full body shots in private photos” - perfect if you’ve got a great body
  • “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours ;)” - very provocative and seems to work well

Don’t upload dick pics though. Very few women find them appealing.

Be honest and vulnerable in your bio

The “less is more” approach can work for your bio on mainstream hook-up apps, but things can be a bit more complicated when a woman is putting her marriage on the line for an affair or if she wants to be extremely discreet about her hookups.

You can stand out from the crowd by explaining what type of relationship you’re looking for and why. Be honest and vulnerable. This will help women trust you. More importantly, it stops you from wasting time and money messaging women who don’t have the same intentions as you. Those Ashley Madison credits aren’t cheap!

You should mention what you bring to the table too. It’s best to keep any sexual desires to yourself for now though. You can scare women away by being too explicit too soon, even on this website.

Log in every day

Here’s something that all dating app algorithms look out for. Even apps like Bumble give users extra points if they log in every day.

Ashley Madison allows members to filter their searches to only show users who have been online in the past 24 or 48 hours. After all, women don’t want to waste time on a guy who’ll take forever to open their message. So if you log in at least once every day, you’ll show up in more searches.

How to choose who to message on Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison will charge you for every conversation you start on its website, so you’ll need to be more choosy about who you decide to message.

It’s free to reply to women who message you first (if you have the “Member Initiated Contact” feature), but you may grow frustrated waiting for your dream match to make the first move.

So, here are some tips to help you choose who to message.

Make use of “Winks”

Ashley Madison allows you to send “winks” without buying or spending credits. It’s a great way to catch a woman’s attention. If you curate your profile and photos well (as mentioned above), women might be more inclined to send you a message first. This also works if she has already viewed your profile but hasn’t sent you a message yet.

When you send a wink, the recipient will receive the following message:

“Please check out my profile to see if you might be interested in connecting with me. If you are interested, ‘wink’ me back and I will initiate contact!” 

Automated message when you send a wink

This isn’t as engaging as a unique message, but winking and waiting for a response can prevent you from wasting credits on women who aren’t interested in you.

Focus on women who have viewed your profile

Ashley Madison allows you to see a list of women who have viewed your profile. This can work as a nice shortlist of women to potentially message. At the very least, you can be sure that these profiles are all real and active.

Ask for a woman’s private key

If they have private photos on their profile, you can ask for a woman’s “private key” to see them. This will cost you no credits and it’s a reliable indicator of their interest in you. Plus, you can be more sure whether you’re interested in them once you’ve seen the photos they’re hiding from the general public.

You can filter your searches to only include people who have public photos, private photos, or both.

There’s a feature in your settings called “Auto Private Key Exchange”, which will automatically send someone your private key once you receive theirs. This is turned on by default.

Use a “Priority Message”

It costs more credits to send a “Priority Message”, but you might find it’s worth the expense. Priority messages appear at the top of a woman’s inbox and you’ll get a notification when she has read it.

You can toggle between priority messages and normal messages by clicking the envelope on the left of your chat box.

Priority vs regular message

There’s a “Send All Messages Priority” filter in your account settings, which is turned on by default.

Become a “Priority Man”

The ‘Priority Man’ feature allows you to highlight your profile, so it appears at the top of all relevant search results for 30 days. It costs $29.70 and renews automatically unless canceled. You can activate it by clicking the ad that appears in all of your search results.

How to become a priority man

Use the “Search By Last Login” filter

You can filter your searches to only include people who have logged in within the last 24 or 48 hours. This might be a good idea to ensure you’re only messaging profiles that are still active. You can also choose to only search for new members. This is another good strategy to ensure you’re only talking with active and excited women.

Ashley Madison Dating Tips

When you purchase Ashley Madison credits, you’ll be given 30 days of the “Message Plus” feature for free. This feature means you won’t have to pay for every message you send, only to start a new conversation. Without this feature, every message will cost you, so it’s in your best interests to move the conversation off of Ashley Madison as soon as possible.

It might be worth downloading Kik, an anonymous messaging app, just in case women aren’t comfortable giving their phone numbers away too quickly.

There’s a chance your match will want some extra discretion when meeting you, so bear that in mind when proposing a meet-up. Your home city’s most popular bar on a Friday night might not be suitable. Finally, if you do end up having sex with your Ashley Madison date, I’d recommend you put the work in.

Take your time with the foreplay. Make her feel cared for. Treat her like a goddess. If she’s using Ashley Madison, there’s a good chance she hasn’t had good sex in a while. If you show her a great time, there’s every chance this woman will want to become your long-term affair partner, rather than a meaningless one-night stand.

Online Ashley Madison reviews from women suggest that many of them find it frustrating, due to the anonymity and being overwhelmed with lame profiles. Most are probably looking to get off the app as soon as they find what they’re looking for. Perhaps you’re hoping to do the same thing. If so, be as selfless as you can in the bedroom. Bring your A-game and keep her coming back for more.

I hope these tips help you find and keep your perfect woman on Ashley Madison. If you need more information about what is Ashley Madison and how it works, make sure to read my full review here.

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