What not to talk about on a date with an older woman may be more important than what you actually talk about. There have been a lot of younger men who screw up dates that had previously been going well by brining up the wrong topics. Don’t be that guy!
Handling the conversation in the wrong way can make you seem immature or lacking in social intelligence. Younger women have a certain patience for these mistakes with men that older women shed as they age. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot.
Below are a few topics that are best to avoid until you have some decent experience dating cougars.
What Not To Talk About On A Date
The difference in your ages
Whether you know the actual difference or not it doesn’t help to call attention to the difference. Age difference is the leading contender on the what not to talk about on a date list when dating older women. Even if it is only a few years difference women can be very sensitive about dating younger men and especially sensitive about dating MUCH younger men. Many women are interested in dating younger men but don’t always want to be seen as a “cougar” or as robbing the cradle.
You don’t want her to think that her age is the reason you are interested in her. Spending a lot of time talking about her age is a great way to make her uncomfortable. You want to be seen as a guy who is interested in dating older women and not someone who exclusively dates older women. One is a choice and the other comes close to being a fetish.
Absolutely never say she looks “good for her age” or is “aging well”. That is a great way to kill any attraction that might be blooming.
Your lack of experience, money, etc.
Don’t feel like you have to compete with older men when it comes to experience or money. When thinking about what not to talk about on a date your shortcomings is a good place to avoid. Older women dating younger men do not expect them to be as financially secure or experienced in life. If you do happen to have a lot of great life experience of financial stability that’s great. If you don’t you are still in a strong position. There are many reasons why cougars are dating younger men, we discuss the top five here, and the most common are not related to money or experience.
Instead of calling attention to that areas where you are lacking focus on what you want to accomplish. Talking about dreams and aspirations can make for extremely intimate and engaging conversation. Optimism, dreams, and drive are three big traits that older women love in younger men.
Things “people your age” do
You will be very tempted to talk about the activities you and your similarly aged friends do. This can be great but you need to make sure that these topics don’t highlight the age difference between the two of you. If she can’t relate to the experiences or has to think back ten or fifteen years to do so you should avoid those topics.
Stories about drinking until 4 AM with your friends at a house party to finish the keg are not going to get you anywhere with most older women. Focus on topics that she can connect with right now, not her 22 year old self. Anything that highlights your immaturity or age gap should be broached with caution. There are many ways to keep the conversation fun, engaging, and intimate without referencing you dorm room exploits.
How much you like her
Women love SINCERE COMPLIMENTS IN MODERATION. Cougars have a lot more experience than younger women and are adept at spotting false compliments or calculated praise. Flattering can work to a degree but it certainly isn’t a good long term or even medium term plan.
Especially if you do not have a lot of experience with older women you will be tempted to compliment her. Don’t go crazy. Make sure you focus on things that were choices she made instead of natural born gifts. Compliment her taste in wine/beer or how her dress brings out the blue of her eyes instead of just how beautiful her eyes are. This is a small thing but demonstrates a certain level of sophistication and restraint.
Realize that the first compliments that come into your head are likely ones she has heard dozens or hundreds of times before. You don’t need to be completely original but you do want to differentiate yourself from the rest of the guys out there.
I would like to point out that these rules and suggestions are never set in stone. Every woman is different and every man is different. No situation is the same and different women will react very differently to the same topics and responses. Use these tips as guidelines and tweak them as you go for best results.
If you are still trying to meet more cougars check out our Best Online Cougar Dating Sites Review. It is a great place to find older women dating younger men if you are still in the beginning states and not just looking for things to talk about on a first date. Most of the cougar dating sites out there are fakes that you want to avoid but they can be hard to spot. You will also find Cougar Life reviews, Match.com reviews, and eHarmony reviews for those most interested in dating older women.