So there’s this girl you’ve been getting to know for a while now. Maybe you’ve gone on a date or you’ve been flirting over text. Then when things are getting really steamy, she says, “come over.” In comes the jolt of excitement, all the thoughts of what can happen. And then there’s the kicker: how do you make sure things go smoothly? Now you’re wondering what to do when she invites you to her place.
You’re probably only thinking about one thing when a girl invites you to her place. But is that all you really need to prepare for? This article will give you a proper game plan for when a girl you like invites you to her home. And spoiler alert: You may be surprised at what’s going on in her head.
What It Means When She Invites You to Her Place
Now, an invitation to such a private place could mean different things. If you want to guess what she’s really up to—just so you can plan accordingly—you’ll need to take note of two things.
- What are you to her?
- And in what manner did she invite you to her place?
Let’s take a look at each one in turn:
What are you to her?
That is—what’s your relationship with her now? Are you very old friends who have never flirted with each other? Or have you just met, and there’s the spark of chemistry between you? Or have you been flirting with each other for a while, and things are getting really good?
Let’s find out for sure:
- She sees you as a friend if you’ve been buddies for a long time. Your relationship is founded on fun, company, conversation, and maybe hobbies—but nothing remotely romantic.
- She sees you as a potential boyfriend if you’ve been flirting for a while, and you’re getting really chummy. This is your situation if you feel you’re one conversation away from becoming boyfriend and girlfriend.
- She sees you as a secret lover if you’ve just met, but there’s a lot of sexual tension between you. Your interactions are flirty and almost sexual. If she suddenly invited you to her place, you can safely assume she wants a one-night stand... or two.
- She sees you as a warm body for parties if you’re not the only one she invited to her place. To her, you’re part of a larger circle.
So which one do you think you are to her?
How did she ask you?
Aside from the kind of relationship you have with her, you can also guess what her invitation means by thinking about the manner of her asking:
- Did she ask you in a hush-hush way? If she did, it means she doesn’t want anyone else to know about your meet-up at her place. And yes, that normally means she wants to do naughty things with you.
- Does she treat others the same way she treats you? Then she likely only sees you as a friend or warm body, and while sex may be on her mind, it’s probably not the reason why she invited you.
- What were her body language cues when she asked you? Did she flip or play with her hair when she did? Or did she bite her lip, like she was hoping you’ll pick up on a hint? If so, a one-night stand might be in the cards.
- How did she react when she saw you? Did she get giddy, like she couldn’t hold back a smile? Or did she get hot and bothered, like she was in the presence of a hunk? If this sounded like her, then she wants you all to herself—preferably naked.
- Were you with another girl when she asked you, and did she look jealous of her? If she let that honest bit of herself slip, then she likely sees you as a potential boyfriend. And she’s worried some other girl will snatch you first.
- Did she give you a strange touch when she asked you? Could she have been trying to convey a secret meaning to her invitation, like by nudging you or winking? Let’s hope you got the message!
- Did she openly flirt with you when she asked you—such as by batting her eyelashes, whispering in your ear, or touching your chest? Yet another sign she wants an exciting night alone with you.
Now that you have a better idea of what the date’s going to be like, it’s time to prepare.
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What to Do Before You Come Over
When she invites you to her place, it might feel nerve-wracking, especially if you’re doing it for the first time. Naturally, you’ll want it to go so well you get invited back again and again. How do you achieve that? Through preparation, that’s how. Here are the best ways to make sure the date goes well.
Get in a confident mood
First, you want to work yourself up. You’ll want to feel confident heading into the date, like an alpha male who does it all the time. Think: “She invited me to her house! The odds are already in my favor!”
The idea isn’t to pretend to be someone you’re not. Rather, you slowly become a man who has little to no doubt about the decisions he makes in life.
Get in a fun mood
You’ll want to walk into the date in a lighthearted mood, as though nothing could bother you. If you need to work yourself up, watch a few funny videos or comedy routines before the date.
Get in a sociable mood
You’ll also want to be sociable. Before the date, chat with friends, greet baristas, and have small talk with your coworkers. Not too much, though—you’ll want to still have an appetite for socializing when you arrive at her place.
Get some exercise
You should be exercising anyway, but when she invites you to her place, it should remind you of how important it is. A moderate workout before the date will make you look better when you take your clothes off later.
When she invites you to her place, you need to smell good
This is the fastest, easiest way to leave a good first impression on her. Take a shower and put on a good cologne before you get to her place. She just might pull you into her bedroom as soon as she locks the front door behind you.
Believe in yourself
Now’s not the time to doubt yourself and feel insecure about anything. It doesn’t matter if you’re less experienced than other guys or worried about the outcome. She invited you to her place for a reason. You’re doing some things right—keep the streak going.
Have an abundance mentality
Never, ever get one-itis. That is—avoid pedestalizing her and thinking she’s the “only one” for you. That’s a scarcity mentality, and it’ll only make her lose interest in you in the long run.
Instead, develop an abundance mentality. Just focus on giving her a good, good time. That’s all that matters for this date.
If it goes well, great. If it doesn’t, it’s fine—there will be more women, more dates, and more opportunities to come for you.
What to Do When You Get There
It helps to have a game plan when you’re there. When she invites you to her place for a party with other people, the game plan is simple: Have a good time and don’t ruin anything.
On the other hand, if she invited you and only you, the possibility she wants sex is quite high. The key is to always be warming up towards that possible conclusion.
Setting the scene of the date
Here are a few ideas:
- Cooking/Baking. If she asked you to be at her place before dinnertime, you might want to help her cook. It’s fun, it allows for lots of chitchat, and long silences won’t be awkward.
- Drinks. If the date is after dinnertime, bring drinks. Wine is almost always welcome.
- Flirty talk. Master the art of making statements that can be misconstrued as sexual talk. For instance, you can pretend to zone out while she’s talking, and say: “Sorry, what did you say? I was looking at your lips and I zoned out.” If sex was on her mind, she might say: “Ooh, are you excited?”
Through it all, keep an eye out for hints she’s ready to get naughty. These include her sitting on the edge of her bed, giving you “the look,” or telling you she’s “bored.”
When you get the sign, don’t delay and don’t disappoint.
When She Invites You to Her Place But You Can’t Make It
When you simply can’t make it to her place at the day and time she said, what should you do? Reschedule, that’s what. You can tell her:
“Hey, sorry, I can’t do today. Let’s do Friday—we can do it at my place if you want.”
If she can’t make it to your rescheduled date, give one more alternative. Maximize your chances of her saying “yes.”
What if she still can’t make it? This is where your abundance mentality comes in. You simply thank her for her time and move on. There will be other times, and other women, in the future.
Her place or yours?
To wrap up, let’s answer a common question asked alongside this topic: Is it better to meet a woman at her place or at yours?
When a girl invites you to her place, it probably means she sees you more as a potential boyfriend than as a one-time lover. She’s inviting you into her life, and depending on what you want, that can be good or bad.
Meanwhile, if it’s your place, it’s the reverse—she’s more likely looking for a one-time thing than a proper relationship. You’ll need to make sure the place is presentable, too.
The last word? It’ll depend on what you want your relationship with her to be. Make up your mind and go from there. Enjoy!