Even if you’re wondering how to be a bad boy, you’re probably not looking to become an actual villain. We know what you’re talking about when you say you want to be a bad boy. Think Loki from The Avengers, Tyler Durden from Fight Club or even Landon from A Walk to Remember.
These are “bad boys” who aren’t exactly “boyfriend material” but they do have a certain charm that gets the girl. So in this guide, I’ll be going through some myths about bad boys and how you can get that bad boy charm without actually being a terrible person.
Why Girls Like Bad Boys so Much
When a girl says she’s into “bad boys”, what does she actually mean? It’s pretty clear that women are into the bad boy persona and not a person who does actual bad things.
Many guys make the mistake of thinking that bad boys are actually bad people and then end up being assholes to women when trying to imitate them. This causes even more and harder rejections, exacerbating their problems further.
That’s why I want to put this common misconception to rest. Since too many guys believe bad boys get all the girls because they treat women like shit. Which is completely wrong on so many levels.
A man who treats women badly isn’t a “bad boy”. He’s just a malicious prick who the vast majority of women will want nothing to do with. And who you should never even bother trying to imitate because things won’t turn out well.
The fundamental reason why bad boys are attractive
The actual reason why bad boys are so attractive to most women is because they can quickly and powerfully spike their emotions. And also because they tend to embody certain attractive personality traits.
Like doing whatever the hell they want and having very strong, dominant views on things. Following their own path in life and not taking shit from anyone. This is why they’re also often called “rebels,” incidentally.
Another reason why girls like bad boys is because they don’t give a damn about what other people think of them.
They’re also not afraid to tell things like they are and to ruffle women’s feathers. Teasing them, joking around a lot and generally being hard to read because they’re sending mixed signals. This makes women often wonder whether he actually likes them or not, which makes them doubt themselves and their attractiveness as a woman. Causing them to want to chase the bad boy even more and win his approval. Which he won’t easily give.
Such a man is anything but desperate around women. He isn’t afraid to lose the girl since he knows there are plenty of fish in the sea. And believes he’ll eventually find someone else who’s just as attractive as the last one, or even more.
These are all the things guys need to be aware of while learning how to be a bad boy. And this is just the beginning.
The ability to elicit a strong emotional response in women with your actions and words is a very powerful concept in seduction. Unfortunately, not many men can do this successfully and consistently, in a way that doesn’t push women away.
That’s because there’s a fine line between being a manipulative jerk and being a flirty tease who can drive women wild and make them chase him. A true characteristic of an alpha male.
How to Be a Bad Boy the Right Way
Well, there’s no easy fix for this. Because you can’t just snap your fingers and magically change yourself and your personality.
That’s why if you want to learn how to be a bad boy, you should understand that this change will only come gradually. And only if you work on yourself.
So how do you do it?
Well, by developing the attractive personality traits above and becoming more of an alpha male. Start by being more assertive in everything you do.
Learn to stand up for yourself when it’s necessary and when the situation calls for it. Stand up for yourself verbally, physically and mentally. Stand up for your time as well as your beliefs. Learn to say “No” and to let go of toxic people in your life.
Become more challenging when you’re around women. Stop being afraid of them and putting them on a pedestal. Realize that all women are regular people, just like you and me, with their own individual personalities. With their own likes, dislikes, wants, needs, desires and fears.
If you’ve ever tried to learn how to flirt, then you’ve surely heard about the “Push/Pull” technique.
Well, stop thinking of it as a “technique you must occasionally use to create attraction” and think of it more as a lifestyle.
When you’re naturally challenging, certain moments when you “push” women away goes right to the center of their self-image. This agitates them and makes them feel various strong emotions, which is exactly what bad boys do. Just don’t forget to pull them in later with a tender and sweet gesture, or you’ll drive them away completely.
Learn to tease women playfully and amuse yourself while doing so without being mean. All these things create strong emotions when you’re around women.
More Tips on Becoming a Bad Boy
Another thing guys should work on if they want to become like bad boys is to take rejection like a man. Instead of throwing hissy-fits when things don’t go their way.
Rejection is a natural part of life and is necessary for people to learn about their mistakes and accept their shortcomings so they can improve.
It’s also important to become comfortable with your own sexuality. And stop being ashamed of it or to show women you’re a sexual person.
A bad boy doesn't give a fuck and isn’t afraid to let women know he wants them sexually. Unlike many men who are terrified of women finding out this “terrible secret.”
Don’t worry, women who you’re interested in already know you want to have sex with them. And they’re perfectly fine with it if you are.
It’s only when guys start feeling uncomfortable around women that women start feeling this discomfort themselves. Remember, feelings and emotions are contagious. So relax, be chill and learn how to be comfortable in your own skin. Then talk about sex like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Another important thing to focus on is your physicality when around women. Bad boys aren’t afraid to be physical with girls because they inherently understand sexual attraction requires touch. They’re also pretty aggressive and dominant in their behavior, which women see and later fantasize about.
Because truth is, the majority of women prefer a dominant sexual partner in bed over a hesitant one.
This is something many meek and timid guys don’t understand when they ask questions like “Why do girls like bad guys so much?”
But even becoming a more dominant and assertive person can be learned, just like anything else. All it takes is practice and experience, and the will to decide to change and develop yourself.
Giving off a dangerous vibe
It’s also pretty well known that women like bad boys because they give off a dangerous vibe.
We aren’t talking about an aggressive vibe and certainly not dangerous towards women. No, the kind of dangerous vibe I’m talking here is very different. It has to do with men having the ability to take care of themselves, but only when absolutely necessary.
Women want to know a man can leap to defend them when and if “shit hits the fan.” Women like men who can stand up for themselves physically and aren’t afraid to back away from a fight.
Of course, you don’t need to go looking for fights to prove something to women. This has to be shown in your demeanor and the vibe you give off.
It’s a pretty nebulous subject and a bit difficult to explain, but it’s at the core of being masculine and what girls want from men.
This is particularly true for older women because they have a lot of life experience under their belts. They quickly see through any bullshit veneer and get a good sense of who men are at their core. By noticing their actions, attitude, behavior, etc.
It’s something you should know if you want to meet older women and date them. It’s much more difficult to fake who you are when you’re with older women.
Why women often sleep with bad boys
Finally, to understand exactly why women want to sleep with bad boys, there’s something you should know.
When women become attracted to certain men on a gut-instinct level, it actually causes anxiety. Their heart starts racing, muscles tense up, pupils dilate and they begin to sweat a little. While often feeling lightheaded and “weird,” accompanied by the queasy “butterflies in stomach” feeling.
The same thing usually happens when women experience fear, worry and similar negative states.
You see, when a man affects a woman strongly on an emotional level, there is a sort of uncomfortable feeling. A discomfort which women will naturally want to alleviate by any means necessary. Either by laughing to ease the tension or by “shit-testing” men to try and put them down and defuse the situation. But mostly to see if they’re really who they claim they are and if they’ll crumble under the pressure. So keep this in mind when figuring out how to be a bad boy who spikes women’s emotions.
If you both start joking around, the pressure will be gone and there won’t be any more sexual tension. But if you stay serious and don’t fail the eventual “shit-tests,” sex usually follows because it’ll give her all the validation she craves from you.
Basically, bad boys make women anxious but in a good way. That’s why they get tested a lot more than other men. To see if they’re really like that or if they’re faking it.
When they eventually pass these tests, women feel much more comfortable around them. They know they’re not pretending to be someone they’re not and are being authentic.
The natural step after that is having sex because all of the above is incredibly attractive. And sex completely removes the built-up anxiousness and tension.
How to Be a Bad Boy over Text
The main concepts for how to be a bad boy translate effortlessly into text. Indeed, when texting a girl, a bad boy might be particularly efficient at being dominant and not giving a damn what other people think. A simple way to portray dominance over text is to make short sharp statements, rather than long wordy questions.
For example, “come over tonight”, rather than “what day are you free to come and visit me?”
Indeed, a dominant bad boy will always be leading the conversation, rather than following the flow set by the woman he’s texting. However, the main skill for how to be a bad boy over text lies in not giving a fuck what the recipient thinks. This isn’t easy to fake, but I’ll do my best to try and help you.
Imagine you were using Tinder, even though you already had 10 beautiful women willing to sleep with you at a moment’s notice. Now, imagine you’d seen into the future and you knew this woman was definitely going to come over too.
How would you text her?
Well, you probably wouldn’t put too much thought into your messages. They probably wouldn’t be too long. And you’d probably clown on this woman for a bit too.
That’s exactly how to be a bad boy over text. Follow these three rules while adding some wit and humor and these girls will be crazy about texting you, if only because you’re so different from all the “nice guys” taking up space in her phone with the same boring compliments.
Do you want proof of how effective it is to text like a bad boy? Download Tucker Max’s FREE e-book Sloppy Seconds. A lengthy chapter of the book is dedicated to text conversations he’s had with random groupies that have messaged him since he became famous. You’ll see he gives zero fucks about impressing them, yet they still want to sleep with him.
Of course, it’s possible that the messages in that book could be fabricated, but nonetheless, the attitude he shows in it is what you want to replicate.
Bad Boy Texts to Send a Girl
Below are two examples of basic bad boy texts to send a girl, including the principles behind why it makes women go wild with desire.
- Come to my place right now” (dominance)
- “Aww, you miss me!” (teasing, sarcasm)
- “I saw this and thought of you” *with picture of something not cute* (cocky-funny humor)
- “I honestly couldn’t care less” (breaking rapport, leading conversation)
- “You bore me” (breaking rapport, leading conversation)
- “Don’t pretend you have anyone more interesting to talk to” (cocky-funny humor)
- “Are you always this talkative in real life?” (breaking rapport, leading the conversation)
- “Wow, great comeback” (sarcasm, breaking rapport)
- “... but only if you promise to be nice” *after agreeing to see her* (push-pull)
- “Send nudes” (dominance, sexualizing the conversation)
These lines are only really going to work if the woman knows you’re a bad boy in the real world.
If she knows you’re really a polite and shy guy, these types of messages are going to make her lose all respect for you, not necessarily because they’re somewhat rude, but because they’re so incongruent with your personality.
If you are a bad boy in real life, you can easily insert any of these lines into your regular conversations as well as your texts. Just make sure you stare her in the eyes and don’t flinch when she comes back at you for acting like such an asshole.
It’s easier to fake being a bad boy over text because you don’t have to back up your words with powerful confident body language. However, if you do have the bad boy vibe in real life, this will get you far more consistent results with women, because they can see you’re the real deal.
Now that you know how to be a bad boy, you should start working on developing the attractive personality traits shown above.
There’s no time like the present because it takes a while to change your personality and become more manly. Girls love bad guys because they make them feel all tingly inside by driving them wild. And you can do that too eventually, if you have the courage to start improving yourself.