It’s easy to think that men who captivate women and attract them instinctively know how to be charming. In some cases, men simply have natural charm that they’ve cultivated over the years. However, in most cases, being charming is a skill that’s learned through experience--most of which involves trial and error.
The most basic definition of charm is the power or quality of giving delight or arousing admiration in other people.
And if women are attracted and admire you, they’ll surely like you and want to spend time with you. This will provide you with ample opportunities to get to know them and seduce them. However, there are too many men who make the mistake of believing that charming women means impressing them. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
So what does it mean to be charming around women exactly?
Becoming more charismatic with women requires quite a bit of practice. And the best thing to start with is approaching women, talking to them and attracting them. That’s why we’ve created an in-depth video course that explains how to do all these things and more!
How to Be Charming
When women spend time in a charmer’s company, they can’t help but be attracted to him because it feels like he’s the most interesting and exciting person in the room.
But the truth is, he simply possesses attractive qualities that make women go crazy over him. I’ll list these qualities below and help you learn how to possess them.
Authenticity is one of the best qualities of a charming man
Faking it until you make it may work for confidence, but not for charm. Whether we’re aware of it or not, we can generally sense when someone is being fake. Women are especially adept at this, especially those who encounter men who constantly feign interest just to pick up women.
Genuine interest in a person is a mark of charm. It’s when you’re able to engage in a conversation with a woman without trying too hard to impress her. You don’t ask questions for the sake of looking interested. Instead, you ask questions that genuinely interest you.
But what if you’re not that interested in what she has to say? Will you then be less charming? Well, yes and no.
For starters, why would you waste time learning how to be charming towards a woman you have no interest in? Sounds like a waste of time. So even if your only goal is to sleep with her, you can use that drive to find something to say to her, even if means giving her a compliment on her looks.
More importantly, charming someone isn’t a one-way street. The interest should be reciprocal. So when you show interest in her, she may show interest in you. And this dynamic is what makes you even more attractive in her eyes.
How to have charisma with positivity
A person’s attitude towards life and other people can determine how charismatic he is. That’s because attitudes are infectious and make other people feel what you’re feeling.
So if your attitude’s rotten, you’ll give off a foul vibe. The people who hang out with you usually won’t like you because they’ll feel rotten as well. But when your attitude’s great and you exude genuine positivity, you’ll give off a very positive, energetic and optimistic vibe. As a result of that, people around you will feel uplifted and amazing because their feelings will start reflecting your feelings.
So let me ask you this -- how does the vibe in a room change when you walk in? Does it get darker or does the mood feel brighter?
Make sure you brighten up the room with your attitude when you walk in so that people will find you much more charming and attractive. This is a large part of how to have charisma. This can be as simple as making sure you smile when talking to other people. It’s the universal symbol of positivity, after all.
From there, avoid the temptation to complain or focus on the negative aspects of life. This is a habit that we all fall into from time to time, but it does nothing to enhance someone’s opinion of ourselves. There are so many things to be happy about, so why not focus on that when you’re talking to other people?
A charming man gives others their undivided attention
Another thing that makes charming men different from those who lack charm is the attention they give others.
Pretty much everyone likes to feel important from time to time. And when charming people talk to others, they can make it seem like that person is the most important and interesting individual in the world.
They lay on the charm and give that person all the attention and validation they desire without making it seem disingenuous or fake. They are masters of flattery without seeming insincere.
When you’re talking to women, don’t look around, and don’t check your phone. Instead, focus on them. Give them your undivided attention, hold steady and strong eye contact, nod at the points they’re making and don’t interrupt them.
One of the most famous tips from Dale Carnegie’s famous book How To Win Friends & Influence People is to let people talk and talk. If you ask them questions and show genuine curiosity in their answers, most people will think you’re a great guy even if they don’t know a thing about you!
So, if you want to be thought of as charming, be the one who takes the back seat in the conversation while other people take the spotlight.
Charming people are great listeners
A very common attribute of charming people is their ability to be very good listeners.
You see, just as people like to feel important, they also like to be heard and understood. And actively listening to someone and showing them you understand them as a person can do a whole lot to change their attitude towards you.
When someone listens to you actively and shows genuine interest, it builds rapport and a genuine connection. It then leads to respect, admiration and attraction.
Listening attentively will have a great effect on how charming they perceive you to be, especially if you can make the conversation more fun and interesting. Insert some wit, humor and lighthearted teasing into it to spice things up without interrupting.
Also, make sure to remember her name and use it often in conversation. Remember the various interesting points she made when talking so that you can bring it up when you see her again. She’ll appreciate that you remembered details about your conversation.
This is all a part of being a great listener and conversationalist, which, along with the other things above, translates to being charming.
How to Charm Women
Charming a group of people is different from learning how to charm a woman. Women tend to have their guards up when a man approaches them. So it’s a bit of a challenge. But here are some tips to ensure that you can charm women in a way that will leave her feeling more attracted to you.
Here’s how to have charisma around women the right way
Let’s start with the external things that make up charisma and finish up with the internal ones so you better understand how to be a charming man:
A huge part of a person’s outer charisma is body language and voice tonality. And this exudes masculinity.
The power of these things to influence, attract and seduce other people should never be underestimated. Even Jordan Belfort, the real Wolf of Wall Street, has said that your body language and tone of voice are two of the most powerful tools to build rapport and influence someone into doing what you want.
Start developing powerful, assertive and confident body language. Do this by standing straight and directly facing the person you’re talking to. Maintain strong eye contact and don’t cross your arms. Then develop an expressive tone of voice and speak like you mean every word you say.
Also, make sure to speak from your diaphragm and not your throat. Speaking from your diaphragm gives your voice more “Oomph!” It makes you sound more manly.
So remember the key of how to be charming: Be expressive with both your body language and with the way you speak. This will make sure people actually remember you. You’ll stand out in a good way, especially to women who’ve met hundreds of boring guys who don’t express themselves well.
Give unique and genuine compliments
Giving compliments is a great start if you’re wondering how to charm a woman, but you need to be able to do it the right way.
For starters, the compliments need to come across as genuine. So, only give compliments that you actually mean. Make sure to maintain eye contact when you’re delivering them, so a woman can sense your honesty.
Your compliments will pack more of a punch if they are unique. Avoid generic compliments that every other girl has heard before. Focus on something that makes her stand out from every other woman.
If you are going to tell her she has a “great smile” or “nice eyes”, add how it makes you feel, so your compliment has a bit of individuality. Perhaps her eyes make your “head spin and your stomach fill up with butterflies”. A bit of creativity makes your compliment memorable and last longer in her memory.
Finally, use sure you own your words. Be proud of what you’re doing. If you giggle nervously, break eye contact or adopt an unsure tone in your voice, your compliment loses its impact. At this point, it’ll come across as awkward rather than charming. But, if your voice and body language portray nothing but assuredness, your words will charm the pants off women no matter what they are.
What this translates to when you’re around women is even more attraction and desire. You want to give them genuine, specific and well-meaning compliments.
Such masterful flattery is especially effective on older women who know they’re already past their prime when it comes to looks. When you want to charm them, you must say something sincere, and not another compliment that they’ve heard before. There's a world of hot older women out there looking to be charmed, and you can find them on our favorite apps and sites to meet a cougar.
Pass women’s tests
When you’re flirting with an effortless charm, a woman will often throw a small diss at you to test if you’re the real deal.
Often, it’s a sarcastic question like: “is that your pick-up line?” or “do you say that to all the girls?” Maybe it’ll be a disqualifier like: “That’s sweet, but I don’t date short guys.”
Regardless of what is said, you’ll need to show that you’re unperturbed by this silliness to be perceived as a true charmer.
Their harsh words must be like water off a duck’s back. Your response shouldn’t be reactive, defensive or butthurt. You shouldn’t go back on your original sentiment. Own your words and maintain your confidence.
So, for the first example, you wouldn’t say: “No, no no, I was just being friendly.”
You could say: “Yes, but only to blonde women who look like they can handle a good time.”
Charming men adore women
This may sound like a weird point to touch on. But it’s incredibly important if you want to truly grasp how to have charisma around women.
There are far too many men in the world who don’t respect women enough. These are men who hold a grudge against women and don’t consider them as equals. This often translates to some men objectifying, dehumanizing and even hating women for various reasons. The only reason they want to be around women is to either sleep with them or gain validation from them. And these are the reasons why they can't get a girlfriend.
But if you truly want to be able to charm the pants off women you meet, then being a lover of women is a must.
You have to appreciate the true elegance, beauty and grace of a woman. You must understand what compels women to act with love, caring and even lust towards others. Appreciate what they bring to the world and that they make it a better place. And then love them for everything that makes them unique and special.
Appreciation of the female sex is not something that’s easy to describe with words. And it’s up to every man to find their own reasons for loving the women in their lives and all women in general.
It’s not that hard to learn how to be charming, but it’s a crucial skill to learn nonetheless. It’s key to becoming a popular guy who can attract women.
If you focus on developing and incorporating the above qualities and traits of a charming man, you’ll be able to attract women more easily. Remember that virtually every man can become more charming by working on himself and his personality. All it takes is some know-how and a lot of practice!