Facebook can be a great platform to meet attractive older women when used properly. But how do you flirt with a girl on Facebook and get results, you ask? It all starts with how to message a girl on Facebook.
How to message a girl on Facebook
It isn’t easy, but grabbing the attention of a woman and meeting her via Facebook Messenger can pay off big time if you’re willing to apply a little effort and finesse. When done right, communicating on Facebook can cultivate intimacy and attraction, virtually guaranteeing she will want to meet you in person.
Read on to learn how to message a girl on Facebook and land that first date.
1) Get your profile in order
After sending your first message to a woman on Facebook, you better believe she’ll be stalking your profile. Before deciding if she wants to answer, she’ll want to learn who you really are — And your Facebook profile is a great window to the real you.
If you make your profile interesting and engaging, you can be sure she’ll check you out more than once. To do that, you should start by filling out the ‘About’ section so she knows you're single and employed. If she knows you have a job, you’ll seem more stable and responsible rather than a good-time guy looking for an older woman to foot the bill.
Don't forget to like some pages and other things you're genuinely interested in, either. Older women aren't as interested in looks as younger women — they want a connection. Showing her that you have something to talk about, even as simple as a favorite television show, book or movie, can be a great conversation starter online.
It’s also a good idea to go through your photos. A mature woman isn’t interested in seeing pictures of your last rager where you got blitzed with your buddies. You should trash any photos that make you look immature and replace them with images that show who you really are. She wants someone she can have adventures with, but also someone who has his life together.
Remember, your profile is all about making a great first impression and convincing the woman you want that the two of you will have a great connection.
2) Do your research
Learning how to text a girl you like on Facebook isn’t hard, but it does take a little bit of effort. It’s not a good idea to just shoot her a message without knowing anything about her. You can start by reading her profile to find out what she likes and where she works.
The amount of research you can actually do will depend on two things:
1) How connected you are to her
2) Her profile settings
If you’re Facebook friends already, you’re probably good to go. But if not, a little extra exertion will be needed.
If you run in the same circles but aren’t friends, finding some common ground is a great way to snag her attention. Try commenting on pictures of the people you’re both friends with, especially if she’s tagged in them. You can also try liking something she’s posted on a mutual friend’s wall.
Once she knows you exist, you can try sending her a friend request. Following up the request with a casual note is a great idea. It lets her know that you believe she is worth a bit of effort — and women almost always respond to that.
3) How to message a girl on Facebook - Your first message
When writing your first message (as with talking to a girl on Snapchat or any other messaging app), asking for a date likely isn’t the best approach. Try keeping it cool and casual.
For example: “Hi Carrie, I’m Brad. I’m FB friends with Diane and saw a picture of the two of you hiking. The trail looked amazing. I love to hike as well. Can you tell me where the two of you went? I’d love to check it out.”
This type of message lets her know you are not some random weirdo, but that you have mutual friends and interests in common.
If you have no mutual friends, your only option is to send her a friend request and hope she accepts, otherwise any messages you send will land in her ‘Other’ inbox and she may never see them.
Once it’s time to send a message, try to make it personal. Sending a “hey” or “how’s it going?” note is not likely to grab her attention. Remember, a woman wants to know she is worth a little effort.
Instead, you can try something like: “Hi Carrie, I’m Brad. Facebook recommended you as a friend and, after seeing your profile, I felt compelled to introduce myself. It looks like you’re a hiker. So am I! Would love to chat sometime on Messenger about the trails you’ve done. Maybe you can recommend some to me.”
This type of message shows you’re not a scammer or a stalker. Instead, you come off as someone with a shared interest that she might enjoy connecting with.
4) Establish a rapport
Learning how to text a girl you like on Facebook is not rocket science — it’s simply about creating a connection. Now that your first message has been sent and she has answered back, the ball’s in your court to keep the conversation going.
Compliments may seem like a great idea, but will probably creep her out rather than put a smile on her face. If you tell her she’s sexy or hot, she’s going to know you’ve been scrolling through her pictures and she might think you’re a perv. That is definitely not the impression you want to leave her with.
If you focus on establishing a bond with her instead, she’ll know you are interested in her as a person rather than as a potential one-night stand. You can start by asking her about her about her hobbies or her job. Do your best to keep questions open-ended so she can’t respond with one-word answers.
Focusing on things you have in common is also a good way to keep her chatting. For instance, if her profile shows that she’s a football fan and you are as well, try to get a conversation going on which teams have the best chance of making the playoffs.
If her likes reveal that you enjoy the same types of music, you can talk about that. For instance: “I noticed you like classic rock. So do I. My favorite band is The Eagles, which groups do you like?”
Shared interests are one of the best ways to create a connection and keep her actively engaged in conversation with you. And conversation almost always leads to something more. If she enjoys talking to you on Facebook, you’ll be well on your way to getting a ‘yes’ when you ask her out.
5) Avoid lewd pictures and comments
Even after your online relationship has progressed with the woman you like, you’ll probably want to steer clear of sex talk. You definitely don’t want to come off as a guy who is using Messenger to try to get laid.
Most mature women are not on Facebook to get propositioned and probably won’t respond well if you start talking about sex before you’ve even met. If you send the woman you’re interested in a dick pic or tell her “I like your tits,” she’ll likely tell you off and block you from contacting her again.
So how do you flirt with a girl on Facebook? By appealing to her intellectually. There is nothing sexier to an older woman than a younger man who can have a mature conversation. That’s where establishing that essential rapport we’ve already discussed comes in.
Once you’ve established a solid connection, by all means, sneak in some compliments. You’ll want to stay away from saying things like: “You have such a great body” or “You’re so hot.”
A better option would be: “That new picture you posted really shows off your amazing smile” or “I saw that new picture you posted; your eyes are such a beautiful shade of blue.”
Finding ways to let her know you find her attractive without making it sexual will both intrigue and impress her. She’ll see you as a man looking for a meaningful connection rather than a guy who just wants sex. And that will make her want to take your relationship to the next level.
6) How to ask her out
If you’ve been chatting up the woman you want for at least a week or two and you've seen signs that she likes you online, it’s time to make a move. Don’t be forceful; you want to let her know you’re willing to follow her lead. This not only shows you’re a gentleman; it shows you respect her — and that wins you serious brownie points with older women.
You could say something like this: “Carrie, I hope you’ve enjoyed chatting with me as much as I’ve enjoyed messaging with you. You seem like the type of woman I’d like to get to know better. Would you be interested in meeting for dinner?”
Most women will not be comfortable giving out their address to someone they haven’t met in person, so suggest meeting up at a restaurant or coffee shop to help put her at ease. You’ll also want to set a specific date and time. Being vague about “getting together soon,” she’ll likely make other plans for her evening or weekend and you’ll be out of luck. If she says she would like to meet, it’s best to nail down the time and place right away.
If she puts you off, you should try to figure out why. Does she want more time to get to know you, or is she simply not interested in taking the relationship any further? In this case, being direct is often the best option. You can simply ask her if she’s interested in getting together in the next few weeks.
If she’s vague in her answer, it probably means she sees you as a friend or isn’t attracted to you. If that’s the case, it’s time to move on.
How to message a girl on Facebook - Takeaways
Learning how to text a girl you like on Facebook could be the difference between landing a date or being snubbed.
You can be successful by remembering these key takeaways: be a gentleman, be genuine, show interest in her as a person and, above all, use your messages to show her why she would have a great time if she went out with you.
If you follow this guide on how to message a girl on Facebook, you’ll definitely up your chances of scoring a date with the woman you want.