In many ways, Facebook has taken the place of clubs and bars — when it comes to picking up older women, that is. But to be successful, you’ll want to learn how to talk to girls on Facebook. There is definitely a right way — and a wrong way — to do it.
How to effectively talk to women on Facebook
Never, just wing it — not if you truly want to hook that sexy older lady you have your eye on. There are lots of great ways to catch her attention. So read on and remember, knowing what to say to a girl on Facebook (or what to say on Snapchat and other apps) is the key to your online dating success.
Update your pictures
Despite what you might think, learning the ins and outs of how to talk to chicks on Facebook is not your first step. Before initiating contact in any way, you’ll want to give your own profile a good look. What do your profile picture and cover photo look like? This is basic from Facebook to any of the best sites for meeting single women over 30.
For your profile image, you’ll want to choose a photo that shows you looking your best. Your cover photo can be any nice picture you have, as long as it’s not a shot of you hugging another woman or chugging beer with the boys.
Have a look through your newsfeed as well. If you see any other pictures that make you look like a player or a party animal, it’s time to get rid of them. Older women are rarely interested in dating a guy if he comes off as immature or a womanizer. By doing a little spring-cleaning, you’ll definitely have a better chance of getting the woman you want talking.
All about you
How to talk about yourself on Facebook is a fairly new concept and one that even our favorite dating books for modern men don't cover. Your bio and about section can be a great place to impress women. Keeping your bio lighthearted but authentic should help spark the interest of the women you are pursuing. Filling out your about section will also give her insight into who you are.
Older women aren't interested in drama. If you choose “It’s complicated” or “In an open relationship” to describe your relationship status, she is far less likely to respond to you. Letting her see that you are single and that you work or go to college is vital. Older ladies not only want to avoid messy relationships, they also want a guy who has his act together. Knowing you have a career or a career plan will definitely help your chances.
Profile maintenance doesn’t end with cleaning up your pictures, though. You’ll also want to make sure you use Facebook regularly so you don’t come off as a scammer or some perv who uses social media just to pick up chicks. If you hardly have any Facebook friends, posts or pictures, that will be a major red flag to women. Commenting on friends’ photos and posts shows you are social while posting your own pictures or interesting links gives her insight into who you are.
That doesn’t mean you should be posting something every hour, though. Find a happy medium so you come off as an average, well-adjusted guy who she would genuinely be interested in getting to know.
Do your research
If you want to know what to say to a girl on Facebook, it all starts with a little bit of recon (just like if you were using any other dating or hookup apps to meet women). You can start by checking out her profile to learn, first of all, if she is single. If she is, you can move on to learning about what makes her tick. Her bio, likes and interests are a good place to start. You’ll want to scroll through her news feed too.
Paying attention to the kinds of links she posts and comments on will give you some insight into her personality. Her pictures will also offer some clues on places she likes to go and things she likes to do.
The better prepared you are before you start a conversation on Facebook; the more natural your conversation with her will be once you start chatting.
If you are not friends already, try sending her a friend request. It will help if you have some Facebook friends in common but, if you don’t, immediately following up the request with a message may help. If you do have friends in common, your chances of her accepting your request is much greater, but it still can’t hurt to send a DM introducing yourself.
Now that you are at the messaging stage, you need to know how to impress a girl on Facebook chat. Being prepared is key. If you shoot off a simple “Hey” or “How’s it going?” the chances of her responding are significantly lower than if you tailor a message that suits who she is as a person.
How to talk to chicks on Facebook
Learning how to impress a girl on Facebook chat is not hard. The number one rule is this: be yourself — unless you are a player, that is. No woman, especially an older one, wants to deal with a guy whose first message is, “How’s it going, sexy?” or “Hi gorgeous.”
Instead, you’ll want to keep it cool. If your message is casual and friendly, she’s less likely to decide you are some creep trying to get laid. It's also much more likely that she'll be interested in you if you're more laid back and casual.
You can try something like this: “Hi Rebecca, my name is Chris. Facebook recommended you as a possible friend and I see that we share an interest in sports. Thought I’d send you a friend request. Maybe we can chat sometime about the Saints’ chances of winning the Super Bowl.”
If the lady you’re messaging is attractive and single, chances are she gets hit on a lot via Facebook. Unlike all of the other “what’s up?” or “hey baby” advances she’s already received, a message like this will show that you are thoughtful and mature, significantly increasing your chances of receiving a response.
She’s responded: Now what?
She wrote back and seems interested in conversing. Now is the time to really learn how to impress a girl on Facebook chat. Figuring out what to say to a girl on Facebook can be a bit nerve-wracking. Obviously, you don’t want to come on too strong, but you do want her to know you are interested.
The best thing to do is to take your cue from her: Look at her response to you. Is she formal or relaxed? Is she reserved or outgoing? By responding in the same tone, she’ll be more apt to feel a connection with you.
The most important thing, however, is to be yourself. Mature women can spot a phony a mile off. Remember, they’ve been in the dating game longer and have had more relationships than girls your age.
If you’re a fun-loving kind of guy, show her that, but if you’re shy or serious, go with it. If you can show her you’re a nice, respectful and genuine kind of guy, you will be a breath of fresh air compared to all of the players and creeps she has had to deal with online.
Keep her talking
One of the cardinal rules of how to talk to chicks on Facebook is keeping the conversation going. Asking questions that require more than one-word answers is one way to get her talking. Using our example from earlier, if you know she is a sports fan, then that is a great first conversation topic.
This is where your earlier recon of her profile will pay off big time. Ask about her interests, her job, her favorite places to go or even what books she’s read or movies she’s watched lately. This will show her you want to get to know her as a person and are not just looking for a one-nighter.
Speaking of sex, unless she gets flirty with you first, you’ll want to avoid bringing up anything that is even remotely sexual in the early going. The main goal is to put her at ease and show her you are a guy she’d enjoy hanging out with.
How to impress a girl on Facebook chat
Once you’ve been chatting for a week or more, it will be time to take it to the next level. If she has invested a week or two in talking with you, it definitely means she is open to more.
Start with some light flirting. Coming on too strong all at once will be a turn off and seem desperate. Instead, compliment one of her recent pictures, for instance: “That new picture you posted of yourself sure did catch my eye. You are so photogenic.” Or, “What a great new profile picture. You have a beautiful smile.”
Remember, unless she brings up sex, you’ll want to keep your compliments classy using words like “gorgeous”, “beautiful” or “pretty” rather than “hot” or “sexy”. And don’t be afraid to compliment her personality or her intelligence. Older women like to be appreciated for more than their looks, so telling her she’s “smart”, “funny” or “thoughtful” will also go over well.
If she’s been chatting with you for two weeks and has responded well to your compliments, then that is a good sign. The girl you met on Facebook might want to go on a date with you.
Remember, getting an attractive older woman to agree to a date with you is not easy. That is why it is so important that you learn how to talk to girls on Facebook the right way. With a little time, effort and guidance from us, you’ll be having dinner or drinks with your Facebook hottie in no time.