Whether you're in a club, using one of our recommend dating sites, or on social media, flirting effectively with an attractive woman requires roughly the same approach. Namely, you have to make a good first impression. That means learning how to meet girls on Facebook doesn't have to be hard, even if you have never used social media for that reason before.
How to get a girl on Facebook
There are a few basic principles you’ll want to follow when using Facebook to meet women who you don’t know well: Be courteous, be charming and be authentic. But before you can apply any of these traits to your online flirting, a little bit of maintenance is in order.
Step 1: Picture purge
It all starts with you taking a good look at your online persona. How would you appear to an older woman who doesn’t know you well, if at all? If you want to hook a woman who you are not friends with, your profile needs to be impressive. And that includes selecting the perfect profile photo.
You’ll want to look through all of your posted pictures and get rid of any images that make you look irresponsible. Yes, that means getting rid of pictures from that wild and crazy frat party as well as the ones of you with your arms around bikini-clad girls.
For that matter, you’ll also want to scrap any pictures of you showing off your abs or biceps. Blatant posing and compliment seeking can come off as shallow and immature, especially to older women. Keep in mind, most women over 30 want more than a handsome face or a hot body — they want someone they can have an intelligent conversation with, so choose photos with that in mind.
Pictures of you looking your best in a way that is authentic and natural are the kinds of images you’ll want to use for your profile picture and cover photo. They’ll offer a great first impression to any woman you contact.
Step 2: Be open
If you want to hook an attractive older woman on Facebook, you’ll need to be transparent about who you are. Filling in your bio with relevant information such as being single and being employed is a great start. Let’s face it, dating from a distance is hard. Adding the city where you currently live lets ladies know a relationship with you would actually be feasible.
To take it up a notch, fill in the ‘About you’ section. This is your chance to show who you are. Be sincere and genuine. If humor is your thing, by all means be funny, but only if that actually works for you. The key is to be interesting while also being real. The same goes with messaging women on Snapchat.
Filling in a favorite quote is another great way to give women insight into who you are. But do yourself a favor and avoid using cheesy lines from movies. Instead, you can look to literature or inspirational leaders for a little help. Choosing something thought-provoking will definitely give older women the impression that you are a guy she might want to talk to.
Step 3: Check your news feed
Scrolling through the past few months of your posts is prudent when looking to impress women on Facebook. If you or any of your friends have posted inappropriate content on your feed, now is the time to delete them. Raunchy humor, bad language, insulting posts — they all need to go before you start sending friend requests or messages.
Once you contact a woman, she is definitely going to check your profile out before deciding how to respond. If she goes onto your feed and sees questionable posts, you’ve probably lost any chance of hearing from her. Keeping your feed interesting but clean will definitely pay off.
Step 4: Making contact
Once you’ve done all that, your biggest concern will be how to approach a woman on Facebook. Should you send her a friend request or write a message? Maybe it's safer to reply to one of her posts or comments.
It all depends upon how well you know the woman in question. If you are already Facebook friends but don’t know each other well, your approach will be different than if you are not connected at all. Talking to a girl on Facebook requires some thought but it's not that hard.
How to get a girl on Facebook if you’re connected
If you are already Facebook friends with the woman you are interested in but don’t know each other well, start by liking a few of her posts or pictures. Even if she posts a lot, don’t like every picture or thought. Instead, pick a few here and there to give a thumbs-up to. You’ll also want to avoid liking something from two months ago — you don’t want to come off as a stalker.
Liking some of her posts over the course of a week or so gets you some name recognition so that when you do send her a carefully crafted Facebook message, it won’t seem so random.
Once you’re ready to send her a message, try making it about a link or an image she has already posted. It's a great way to start a conversation online. If she posted a picture of herself at the movies with her girlfriends, you can mention that in your message. For instance, “Hi Jill, I know we don’t know each other well, but I enjoy seeing your posts pop up on my news feed. That was a great pic of you and your friends at the movies. What did you think of the film? I was debating checking that one out. Would you recommend it?”
Keeping your first message low pressure is vital. If it’s not an obvious come-on, she’ll be more apt to respond.
How to meet girls on Facebook if you’re not friends
If you’re not already Facebook friends with the woman who has caught your eye, you’ll have to work harder to get her to notice you.
First, check to see if her profile settings allow you to see if she’s a member of any groups you could also join. If she is, you can request membership and be active in the group she’s in. This is a great way to get noticed and, after a few weeks, a friend request from you would not seem so strange, especially if you follow up the request with a message.
You could say something like: “Hi Jill, we are both members of the local fitness group and, after seeing some of your posts, I think we’d have a lot to talk about. I’d love to get some yoga tips from you, so drop me a line anytime you feel like chatting.”
If joining a group to get her attention is not an option, you’ll want to send her a friend request and immediately follow it up with a note. Something like: “Hi Jill, Facebook recommended you as a potential contact. It looks like we share many of the same interests, including cooking. As a fellow foodie, I bet we’d have lots to talk about. Send me a message anytime if you’re up for a chat.”
Attractive women frequently receive messages from men, so send a well-thought-out message. Explaining why she might enjoy talking to you will definitely give you a better shot at a reply than the typical “hey” or “how’s it going” she receives from other guys.
Whether you’re friends or not, if you get a response, keep the exchange going with open-ended follow-up questions. If she continues to write back, you’ll know she is interested in getting to know you better.
Step 5: Maintaining the momentum
Now that you know how to meet girls on Facebook, you’ll want to focus your efforts on keeping the woman you’ve contacted engaged. Learning how to get a girl on Facebook interested is a simple matter of keeping the conversation going. That’s where being courteous, charming and authentic come in.
Courtesy means taking the time to truly get to know the woman you’re chatting with. Showing interest in who she is and what she likes and respecting her opinions is key. Charm is all about making her feel valued. Letting her know you find her attractive but also dig her personality is a great way of achieving that.
Remember, compliments will only charm a lady when done right. It’s fine to tell her you think she’s beautiful, but also let her know you appreciate her other qualities. Telling her you find her intelligence or sensitivity attractive will let her know you respect her as a person and are not just trying to get into her pants.
Last but not least, be authentic. Pretending to be something you’re not to impress a lady always backfires eventually — mature women, in particular, have great BS detectors. They can tell when a guy is trying to scam them with fake knowledge and that is always a major turnoff. So, while you’ll want to be on your best behavior, being yourself is the best way to discover if you have a real connection with a woman. And you can tell if she likes you online once she responds to you.
Once you’ve established a real connection, getting a “Yes” when you ask her out is virtually guaranteed.
There is nothing more attractive to an older woman than a younger man who knows how to treat her both on social media and in person. Knowing how to approach a woman on Facebook will not only give you confidence when sending that first message, it will increase your success rate with sexy, older ladies.
If you do effectively break the ice, you'll want to read our guide to dating women over 30 for more tips on how to keep the relationship going.