There comes a time in many a man’s life when he starts wondering whether his girlfriend is being unfaithful. These doubts, if true, can bring devastating results. That’s why it’s really important to know how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you!
I’ll skip the most obvious signs of cheating, like catching your girlfriend in bed with another guy, and instead focus on the more subtle yet powerful ones. That way you can prevent this scene from happening and nip everything in the bud. You can do this by breaking up in time or by finding some kind of acceptable compromise.
I’ll also mention a few things you can do to test your suspicions and prove your partner is cheating on you. As well as how and when you should confront them about all this.
How To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You
Let’s face it, being cheated on is one of the most horrible feelings in the world. It kicks you really hard in both your balls and your self-esteem.
Some people have been lucky enough to avoid experiencing this awful feeling. They find love early on and manage to keep a healthy and happy relationship.
But many of us have felt this gut-wrenching hurt. And frankly, it doesn’t feel all that swell, if I’m being honest. That’s why you should look out for the following signs, to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you, so you can better spot dishonest behavior:
She’s suddenly very keen to go out almost every day while dressing well
This one’s a dead giveaway after you’ve been together for a little while and have settled into a relationship.
She suddenly becomes more cheerful and giddy than usual in her day to day life. But you can tell those feelings aren’t related to you at all. She starts going out often and seems keen to do so. But she is vague about where she’s going and who she’s meeting. And then she starts dressing significantly better than usual. She even uses her best perfume when going out.
Then unless she’s found some secret stash of high-fashion shoes and is going out every night to show them off to everyone, it’s pretty safe to say she’s cheating on you.
Painful as this realization may be, there are often various signs leading up to it. There’s also a really simple and very good reason why she’s suddenly behaving this way.
You see, if your relationship became stale and she’s found a great lover, she’ll want to look her best for him. And since he’s been satisfying her on the side, she’s become much happier and refreshed as a person. That’s why you’ll often notice her being more cheerful and energized than usual, seemingly without reason.
When you notice this behavior, then it’s probably a really good time to have a serious talk with her about what’s going on. And then part ways if your suspicions were true.
She starts lying and saying inconsistent things more often than usual
Another thing you should keep in mind about how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you is lying.
When lies start becoming more frequent and less innocent, there’s a problem in the relationship. And when you see inconsistencies about where she’s been and what she’s been doing, then there’s an even bigger problem.
Let’s say your girlfriend is often too busy to spend time with you. You can't seem to find anything to talk about with your girlfriend. She then avoids talking about why or where she’s going and what she’s doing. Then she’s very likely spending time with someone else.
If that someone else is a friend or if she’s found a new hobby, then that’s wonderful. But it’s also possible that this new someone is a secret lover.
There’s no reason for so much secrecy in good relationships. So if she’s being secretive and vague and answering your questions with stuff like “Oh I’m just going out with friends, no big deal” all the time, then she’s obviously hiding something.
Again, when you notice something like this, it’s time to have a heart to heart talk with her to figure things out.
She’s beating around the bush when you ask her about a certain person
Let’s say you’ve noticed her cozying up to a mutual friend, co-worker, training partner, etc. You notice they’re spending much more time together than usual. Naturally, you want to know what’s going on in your girlfriend’s life. So you ask her about that person specifically.
When you do, does she constantly try to change the subject or deflect your questions? If she does, then it’s one of the biggest physical signs she's cheating on you.
You see, when people try their best to deflect pointed conversations about someone and minimize the person they’re talking about, then they’re hiding something.
Maybe she’s saying the person’s nobody important. She says it’s no big deal they’re spending so much time together. And then she refuses to talk about it further. Then it’s time to delve deeper and confront her about it.
A great way to confirm your suspicions would be to see how they interact with each other when they meet. If they’re much more touchy-feely than is appropriate for acquaintances or buddies, then something’s definitely up.
She often hides her phone screen when you walk by
Another subtle yet really powerful sign on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you is when she’s afraid of you seeing what’s on her screen.
For example, let’s say she’s often on the phone talking to friends and family on various social apps. But as soon as you walk by or happen to be behind her, she quickly turns over her phone or turns it off. Like she’s afraid you might see something.
If you happen to ask her who she’s talking to, she’ll say the usual thing, such as “Oh just chatting with friends.” And then she’ll try her best to change the subject.
All of this simply means she’s communicating with someone she doesn’t want you to know about. And unless she’s planning a surprise party for you and trying her best to keep it a secret, then she’s probably chatting with someone she’s interested in romantically.
There are very few reasons to not show or tell your significant other about who you’re talking to so often.
The confrontation when you can tell your girlfriend is cheating on you
I’m a big proponent of being honest and open. Because that’s one of the keys to having a strong and healthy relationship.
However, sometimes a person will simply lie to you or omit the truth. They do this to try and keep the relationship from falling apart. Because there are times when your partner may be cheating on you but doesn't want to break up.
That’s why it’s sometimes necessary to test your suspicions and try and prove them.
Let’s say you notice your girlfriend constantly chatting on the phone with someone. She’s being all giddy and you suspect she might be chatting with a lover. Find out the truth by asking her to show you what’s making her so excited.
Ask her who she’s chatting with, innocently, without accusing her. If she gives you the usual “chatting with friends” answer, tell her you want to see. Say you want to know what’s making her so happy.
If she has nothing to hide, she shouldn’t have any problems with showing you her phone. That way, you can share in the fun.
However, if she refuses to show you and tries to come up with an excuse, then it doesn’t look good for you.
If that’s the case, it’s time to confront her about it. Tell her you have misgivings about her hiding who she’s talking with all the time. Tell her your genuine concerns and see how she responds. Quite often, this is all it takes to figure out whether she’s been cheating on you or if you’re worried over nothing.
Likewise, when an accusation like this comes up, it's good to have a backup plan in case you're wrong. If she turns out to be truthful, you better learn how to win her back.
A great way to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you: she accuses you of cheating on her instead
After you confront her about cheating on you, she might try to accuse you of doing the same thing. This is one of the biggest red flags out there and it’s called projection.
Psychological projection is a defense mechanism. It’s where the human ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves. On top of this, they attribute these impulses onto others.
In other words, sometimes guilty people accuse others of doing the exact bad thing they’re doing. It’s because they either didn’t have time to respond adequately or because they want to protect their egos. It often means they’ve been caught out and are desperately trying to turn things around.
That’s why if your girlfriend accuses you of cheating when you obviously aren’t, then it’s highly possible she’s the one who’s cheating.
If that’s the case, then stand your ground and tell her firmly you aren’t cheating on her. Don’t let go of the subject until you both talk it out.
It’s always better to end things with an unrepentant cheater
If you figure out your partner is cheating on you and they seem like they’re not even sorry, then the best solution is to break up immediately. Because it means they have zero respect for you and your feelings.
Funny enough, even really hot people aren't immune to being cheated on and should also learn how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating on you. Because the saying “No matter how hot he or she is, there’s already someone out there who’s tired of their shit” still rings very true.
Remember, there are lots of things you can do to turn around the relationship and prevent it from going sour. You can do some of the things that will make her love you again. But if it’s already way too late or you can never trust her again, then it’s best to simply break up, move on and get over your cheating ex.