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What Men Need To Know About Insecure Women: The Facts

An insecure woman

As a man in today's modern dating landscape, you need to know about insecure women. Insecurity in a relationship or among women you’re dating is relatively common - in fact, it’s almost par for the course.

While it can be a positive and mutually-beneficial relationship when you’re able to provide financial, emotional, and physical security to a woman, excessive insecurity leads to relationship issues – ranging from minor nuisance behaviors all the way to bipolar disorder, attachment issues that are difficult to resolve (if possible at all).

Therefore, it is absolutely essential to recognize the signs of insecurity in a woman for a positive dating experience and long-term relationships alike. Failure to do so can lead to serious dating fatigue and other consequences.

In this article, we will explore the signs of an insecure woman, how to deal with being attracted to an insecure woman, and the dangers of dating someone with big insecurities that you can’t address.

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Signs of Insecurity in a Woman

There are plenty of signs of insecure women. These signs tend to be either a) overt and observable, or b) require some detective work in order to gauge a woman’s insecurities. Some signs of insecurity in a woman may include:

Low self-esteem and self-worth

Women are highly social creatures. Those with low self-esteem tend to feel at the bottom of their social circle’s hierarchies, resulting in excessively agreeable behavior or resentment as a coping mechanism. This can manifest in several ways, such as using sarcastic language excessively or discomfort in social settings leading to panic attacks, for example.

Constantly seeking validation and reassurance from others

If a woman needs to be validated and reassured frequently, you can be sure you’re dealing with one of the telltale signs of an insecure woman.

Difficulty trusting others and being overly jealous

If she doesn’t trust you, expect to explain where you’ve been, what you’re doing, and other minutiae that can seem like a never-ending stress test.

Difficulty setting and enforcing personal boundaries

Learning to set healthy boundaries

Does it feel like the goalposts of what’s allowed in your interactions are always shifting? Insecure women often have difficulty expressing their true feelings, leading to overcompensating or emotional outbursts that seemingly come from out of nowhere. Because you don’t know where they stand or what bothers them, you’ll end up having long discussions that often feel like lecturing.

Difficulty expressing her own needs and wants

Insecure women often are more quiet, hoping that others will be able to sense their needs and wants by instinct rather than direct communication.

Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback

“Noooo, you’re exaggerating… I’m not that good.” Ever hear phrases like this when you give encouragement and positive feedback to a woman? Insecure people may be habituated to feeling unworthy or unaccepting of praise in their life. The potential dangers of dating an insecure woman that can’t be praised means that she might seek validation by other methods (and even outside the relationship).

Inability to be alone and feeling the need to always be in a relationship

An insecure woman often needs to be in the company of others throughout the day to feel connected. If you’ve noticed that your girlfriend never had a significant gap of being single in her life, with one relationship right after the other, this can be one of the surest signs of an insecure woman.

Constantly putting herself down or speaking negatively about herself

Negative self-talk is one of the most recognizable signs of insecurity in a woman. If she is excessively humble or critical of herself, you can be sure that she feels unworthy and has some nagging insecurities.

Difficulty making decisions and being indecisive

Is she bad at making decisions? Whether it’s paralysis by overanalysis or just a lack of confidence, this is a surefire sign that her insecurities may offset her decision-making capabilities.

Difficulty being assertive and standing up for herself

Females shouldn’t be pushovers. If she constantly complains about being ripped off but didn’t say anything about it, you can be sure that she’s living in a negative feedback loop where her lack of assertiveness creates a feeling of inadequacy.

Difficulty being vulnerable and opening up emotionally

If she’s secretive about her past or doesn’t want to talk about her feelings, her insecurities may be at play. Some insecure women often don’t want their hearts broken or any more innocence lost in their lives, opting to stay in an “everything’s fine” mentality to preserve the status quo.

Mood swings

It’s not uncommon for a woman to have mood swings when she feels insecure. Going from happy to sad to bored to excited may be a coping strategy against feeling the anxiety of dealing with everyday life.

Traumatic experiences

If she tells you about her previous traumas to an excessive degree, you can ascertain that she probably is in a constant state of fear and insecurity about the future.


A depressive type of person

If a person is into cutting, risky behaviors, or causing physical harm to themselves, their insecurities may be triggers for these behaviors. Even if these behaviors aren’t obvious or happened in the past, you can be sure that there’s a high probability of self-harm that may arise in the future when a woman's insecurities become too much to bear.

Note: It's important to note that everyone experiences insecurity differently and these signs may not be present in all individuals who struggle with insecurity.

The Top Women’s Insecurities

Women have many insecurities that are both common to men and exclusive to women. Insecurities come from a variety of sources. The following are the most common women's insecurities:

  • Physical appearance (ie. weight, hair, skin, body odor)
  • Aging and the loss of losing their youthful looks and outlook
  • Professional success and career aspirations
  • Intelligence
  • Competition anxiety
  • Imposter syndrome at work and elsewhere
  • Financial security and safety nets (including savings, credit, and unpaid bills)
  • Romantic and sexual relationships
  • Maternal caregiving and being a good mother
  • Body positivity
  • Not living up to societal expectations
  • And so forth

Note: Many of these insecurities overlap, varying in intensity and duration. For example, a woman that is working a dead-end job may have financial stress coupled with feeling down about putting her children in daycare.

The Dangers of Dating Insecure Women

A woman who's suspicious about her partner

Now that you have an understanding of what an insecure woman is and what to look for, you’re probably wondering what’s the big deal.

The truth is that not all women are insecure. Furthermore, relationship insecurity can be something that plagues a relationship or can be resolved - depending on the source of the insecurity. If, for example, your spouse has insecurity about finances, a discussion about handling this can resolve the issue. On the other hand, attachment issues that are triggered by childhood abuse may require couples’ therapy (or breaking up).

With this in mind, men essentially have two paths when it comes to recognizing signs of insecurity in women. You can either:

  • Recognize and avoid overly insecure women, and act accordingly
  • Help the woman you’re involved with to overcome some of her insecurities for the health of the relationship

Dating someone who is insecure can present certain challenges and difficulties. Some potential dangers of dating an insecure woman include:

  • A constant need for validation and reassurance: An insecure woman may constantly seek validation and reassurance from her partner, which can be emotionally taxing and draining for the partner.
  • Jealousy and possessiveness: Insecurity can lead to jealousy and possessiveness in a relationship, which can lead to feelings of suffocation and mistrust.
  • Difficulty in communication: An insecure woman may have difficulty expressing her own needs and wants, or may be overly critical of her partner's actions.
  • Difficulty in maintaining trust: Insecurity can make it difficult for an individual to trust their partner and may lead to constant questioning and suspicion.
  • Difficulty in setting boundaries: An insecure woman may have difficulty setting and enforcing personal boundaries, which can lead to the partner feeling like their own needs and wants are not being respected.
  • Difficulty in handling conflicts: Insecurity can make it difficult for an individual to handle conflicts and disagreements in a healthy way, which can lead to problems in the relationship.

It's important to note that everyone is unique and insecurity can manifest itself in different ways, so not all insecure individuals will experience or exhibit these behaviors. Additionally, it's important to remember that insecurity is not a personality trait but a feeling that can be overcome with self-compassion and self-care.


In conclusion, understanding the signs of insecurity in women, such as low self-esteem, constant validation seeking, and difficulty trusting others is crucial in ensuring a positive dating experience and avoiding negative consequences. Dating an insecure woman may lead to relationship issues and negative feedback loops, which is why it's important to be aware of these signs. By recognizing and addressing these issues, individuals can have a healthier and happier dating experience.

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