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The Expert’s Guide to Meeting Cougars in New York in 2023 - Where To Go And How To Date Them

A woman with cocktails in a bar where it easy to find hot cougars in New York

It’s big, bustling and always full of people. You’d think trying to meet cougars in New York would be easy, but it’s obviously not. These sexy older women may be everywhere, but actually getting to know them can be tough when they’re in such a rush!

Despite New York’s whopping population count of 19 million, the dating scene here isn’t always the easiest. For one, the hustle and bustle of the city make people more prone to hookups rather than long-term dating. With a constant set of fresh faces rushing in, there’s a tendency to keep things quick and casual. On top of that, New Yorkers are intensely focused on their careers. A lot of them are too busy to make time for serious dating!

Still, here’s some good news: there are more women than men in New York. The odds are skewed in your favor, and you’ll find an abundance of New York cougars looking for their next man.

A hot New York cougar on the terrace at Penthouse 808


The Best Places to Find Cougars in New York

There’s a wide variety of older women in New York, from wellness buffs shopping at Westerly Natural Market to fashionistas at the Upper East Side. What most of them have in common, though, is they’re confident, stable, and sometimes intimidating. They know what they want, and they aren’t afraid to go for it.

As a man, you’re not confined to bars in Midtown. There are a number of places where you can go to look for cougars in NYC, and some of these are hidden gems.

Below are our favorite New York cougar bars and hangouts. Give them a shot and see what we mean. We’d love to hear all about your experiences in the comments section!

The Crown Inn is easily among NYC’s best bars for meeting women

A hot New York cougar enjoying her time at Crown Inn


To say we’ve found the absolute best bar for picking up women in NYC would be bold. After all, a new bar opens somewhere across the five boroughs approximately every 30 seconds. By the time we finish this paragraph, there will probably be a new Prohibition-themed cocktail lounge in the Village. We understand there’s never going to be just one definitive pick-up bar in NYC.

But if there ever was one, it’d sure look and feel a lot like The Crown in Crown Heights. In the last decade, this Brooklyn neighborhood has become the epitome of cool (sorry Williamsburg). At the heart of it is this classic pub built for group gatherings and intimate dates. With its exposed brick and spacious wood patio, the Crown Inn is simultaneously timeless and very of the moment.

We’ve never been to this bar when it wasn’t hopping with attractive Brooklyn singles. This is one of our favorite places to recommend for a first date. It’s also a superb social scene where you can meet someone new with little effort. If one bar could epitomize why NYC is the best city for meeting women, the Crown Inn would be it.

Dating apps are also really good for meeting cougars in New York (at least a couple of them)

The Big Apple is, aptly, big especially online. That’s both a good and bad thing when it comes to finding the perfect cougar for you. Here’s where you can go to first:

If you just want something physical or casual, AFF is THE BEST New York cougar dating site (try it free)

Let’s be honest: a lot of people prefer to get laid than to settle down. But sometimes, it’s hard to tell what a cougar really wants. If you don’t want to play mind games to find out, make it a sure thing by trying AFF (which has a great free trial).

This isn’t the site for meeting your soulmate. It’s the site for meeting your next bedmate. Everyone on AFF wants to have some casual fun. Short-term fun is the name of the game, and everyone wants to play. As for cougars in NYC who want a piece of the action, this site is paradise!

We've tried a lot of different options and this has been the most useful way to meet cougars in New York to take home fast!

A huge chunk of AFF users are women in their 30s and 40s. With the huge population of NYC, you can bet you’ll meet a lot of these single, horny cougars near you. Personally, it’s the best site we’ve used for meeting older women who want a one-night thing--no awkward goodbyes, no will-we-won’t-we flirting. It was all good casual fun that we’d try again and again.

If you just want to hop into bed with a cougar, might just meet her on AFF.

Try AFF For Free!
If you actually want to meet single cougars who are more interested in fun in the bedroom than a long-term relationship you need to check out AFF's free trial with this link. We've spent many months testing out 100+ different sites and apps to meet cougars and AFF has consistently been the easiest way for most men.


Home page of eHarmony

When looking for a relationship, finding a cougar in NY is easiest on eHarmony in our experience (try it free)

If you’d like to connect with single cougars for a little fun or even a relationship and you’re NOT using online dating sites (or it’s been a while since you tried them), now is a great time to start.

Mingling at bars or nightclubs may get you out there and meeting new people, but single women ages 35+ tend to lead busy lives and they can be hard to find out socializing. Often, these women only have time to look for guys online, particularly on sites where they know they’re dealing with serious prospects. With so many dating site options out there, how do you choose the right one?

In our experience, eHarmony (which offers a great trial that you can try here now) is the best site out there for meeting lots of single older women. The signup process is pretty easy and weeds out anyone who’s not serious about meeting you. The women who go through the signup process are way, way more likely to respond to your messages, or even message you first, than any other site we have seen.

We have yet to find another site that makes meeting single cougars in New York easier!

eHarmony is a really popular way for older women to meet men who are into them. Ladies 35 and above use the app to chat with fellow singles and maybe go on a date or two. It’s one of our favorite apps, which is why it’s been at the top of our list of the best apps and sites for meeting older women.

This is the option we think most guys are going to have the best success using, especially younger guys.

eHarmony trial

Everyone in New York is always busy. From working to pursuing hobbies to spending time with families, there isn’t a lot of room for meeting guys. But through eHarmony, women find dates on their own time. We’ve used this app for years, and we still find new people to date. Sometimes we even hit it off with someone who prefers something casual.

Try eHarmony and your search for single cougars for you will get so much easier!

The beautiful view at 230 Fifth Rooftop Bar


Enjoy the stunning view with hot New York cougars at 230 Fifth 

As you can tell from the name, this cougar hangout place is at 230 Fifth Avenue. It’s known for a tremendously expansive rooftop deck that offers a dazzling view of the New York City skyline. You can’t get a better place for viewing the expanse of the city at night! It’s also known for small but very pricey drinks.

On top of this, 230 Fifth is one of the secret hunting spots for cougars in New York. The cougars here are trendy, cultured, and classy. You might have to look a little deeper as the hitching up is not as obvious as in other places.

Hot New York cougars hooking up at Day Dream Brunch


Top New York Cougar Bars and Cougar Clubs

There are quite a few cougar bars in New York that are worth checking out. New Yorkers like to party cause that’s the best way to unwind after a stressful week at work – and you know how busy life can be there.

Cougars aren’t the exception.

Even though most cougars don’t party as hard as they used to, and often stick to nearby venues, they still like to go out and have fun. Which means lots of fun for you – and hopefully her.

Below is a list of the best bars, clubs, and lounges where you can meet extremely hot cougars in New York:

There are a lot of options in the list above, but we suggest that you still follow your own hunch. Sometimes luck is just down the corner at a small pub or even café.

We know that cougars don’t often like to party outside their neighborhood for time and age reasons, so even Jersey can be a great place to meet cool soccer moms.

It’s not easy for a 50 y/o woman to drive 1-2 hours every Friday night. This is why we recommend you get a car, especially if you're looking for something casual on the same night. It's hard to pull home when it's 1 am and you have to drive 45 minutes to get to your place.

Apps Dating Coaches Actually Recommend To Meet Cougars in New York

Older women who want to date younger men aren't that common, but there are a lot of them. While some are at bars and clubs, more usually use one of the top dating apps for cougars. Check out these apps below to meet them!

SiteOur ExperienceOur RatingFree Trial Link
Best Hookup Site Cougars
Experience Highlights
Experience Highlights
  • The best way to meet cougars for hookups by far
  • Best results for regular guys
  • Over 60 million active members
  • Not good for long-term relationships
Try AFF For Free
Best For Relationships
Experience Highlights
Experience Highlights
  • Easily the best option for long-term relationships
  • 75% of all online marriages start here
  • 70% of users meet their spouse within a year
  • In-depth signup and matching process
Try eHarmony
2nd Best For Hookups
Experience Highlights
Experience Highlights
  • 2nd best option to find hookups
  • Attracts an older crowd than most hookup apps
  • Pretty popular
  • Great free trial
Try Passion


A cute New York cougar enjoying the view and a drink at 230 Fifth Rooftop Bar


Meet Cougars in New York During the Day

I believe approaching women in broad daylight is one of the bravest things a man can do – and if you do it right, it will be one of the best experiences she’ll ever have.

You can approach, and hook up with some of the hottest cougars in New York during the day without having to step foot into a bar. This is coming from someone who found his dating success on the streets of New York from Bay Ridge to Union Square.

There are a few places where you can find hot cougars in New York during the day:

Sounds intimidating?

I know, but there are so many pros to approaching women/cougars in the morning, especially in a busy city like New York:

  • Minimal competition: She’s not surrounded by 10 puffed up dudes offering her drinks, it’s just you and her
  • No need for great looks: You’re not competing with anybody. It’s all about your nonverbal communication and stamina against fear
  • She’s off guard: She may be at her best, but not her “partying” best so she might be a little more insecure and a little less avoidant to being approached by a guy
  • Teaches you mental toughness: Walking up to a woman and flirting with her while being judged by a dozen strangers isn’t easy. But you must practice getting tough and more confident. I’ve done so many crazy/risky things in my life, but this was one of the hardest. Yet the results will be outstanding once you master the skill and realize that you’ve among 0.0001 percent of men who can look fear in the eye and still walk past it.

It may take you a few weeks - sometimes months - to see some improvement. But the results you'll get will benefit you for life.

A hot New York cougar enjoying the view at 230 Fifth Rooftop Bar


The Guide to Cougar Dating in New York

Even though the fundamentals are quite the same, dating cougars is still different than dating younger girls. At 45, most women already know what they want from life and won't find a problem commanding it to the guy/you.

You will get the "what do you want out of this" question from women in their late 30s and 40s more than girls in their 20s because they're more prone to cut to the chase. This doesn't mean that all cougars are in it for the ring. Many want to just have fun, but both types will find no shame to flat out put a name on whichever happening between both of you.

That's why where to take out cougars differs from one woman to another. Here's how

If you just want to keep it casual take her to a lounge

If all you two want is a fling, then a romantic night out is the ultimate option. You want a place to build both comfort and sexual tension without much noise. That's why a cool nearby bar, or a bunch of them, should be part of your plan.

These places provide the best experience to date a cougar in New York:

If you're more serious about dating her then try one of these fun activities

If she wants to take it slow, or if you haven't been on a date in a while and want to ease in, then go somewhere where you can bond together and let her/you find out whether you're a good fit or not.

A few great places to take a cougar on a date are:

Friends unwinding at The Smith after work


Sometimes all she wants is a nice dinner

Cougars are crazy about fine dining. We don't recommend it since it's in the middle of the day, and both of you will focus on the food and how to talk while chewing without turning the other part off.

However, it's still better than nothing. And here are a few upscale restaurants where you can take a hot New York cougar out for a dinner:

A map of all the best cougar dating spots in New York

We put all of our favorite spots for meeting/dating cougars in New York on just one map. So use it wisely, and don't forget to email us with your results.

For more recommendations check out more great guides to meet cougars:

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