Want to learn what to do when you get rejected by a girl? You might feel angry, depressed, and confused right now. And you’re wondering how to win her back, if it’s even possible.
Let me venture a more important question: Should you try to win her back?
This article will take a look at whether you still have a chance with this girl of yours and, if you do, how to maximize your chances of winning over a girl who rejected you. And we’d better get started now—time is of the essence, as you’ll soon see.
Do You Still Have a Chance With Her?
The simple answer is “Yes, you do.” As long as you did nothing illegal or horrific to warrant her rejection, you’re fine. Even if she got angry, scared, or disgusted when she rejected you, she can still change her mind.
Provided you follow the tips in this article, of course.
Here’s the catch: It won’t be easy. She rejected you for a reason—that reason being she had some mental and emotional objections to you becoming her lover or boyfriend.
You’ll need to overcome those objections and trigger feelings of attraction in her if you want to win her back.
How exactly do you do that? Well, let’s start with what we have right now...
What to Do Right After You’re Rejected By a Girl
If the rejection happened just recently, then this section is for you. Quickly read the tips below, take notes, and remember: These are critical steps to take if you want to change her mind about you.
Let’s start with:
Don't take the rejection personally
Remember, every woman has many admirers in her life. That means she has options. And when she rejected you, it may very well have been because there was another guy in her life who was “better” than you.
Not your fault, and not her fault either, right?
Don't hate her
The worst thing you can do is indignantly say stuff like: “Women don’t know what they want.” Um, actually, they do. And at the moment you proposed or confessed, what she wanted was not you.
It’s that simple.
Accept her decision
Do you want her to give you a second chance? Then accept her rejection as a fact of life. Acting like a crybaby or man-child will take that second chance away from you forever.
Accept your feelings
Likewise, accept your own feelings. Do you feel like crying? Do you feel angry or bitter? Accept them as a fact of life. And you should also accept the fact that you can change how you feel, too.
In fact, if you want to win her back, you’ll have to change how you feel. And it all starts with:
Ah, rejection. Eventually, all guys get used to it. The real men get up each time and live to fight another day. So, welcome to the club! Grab a beer, dust yourself off, and get ready to try again—only this time, more intelligently by getting over your insecurities.
Evaluate your strategy
Now comes the analytical part. What went wrong? Why did she turn you down? You must have had some chinks in your armor that led to the rejection:
- Maybe you weren’t physically attractive enough.
- Maybe you were too nice or she already saw you only as a friend.
- Maybe she was in a bad mood when you flirted with her.
- Maybe she’s already taken and you don’t know it.
- Maybe she’s just not ready for a relationship right now.
See what I mean? Most times, a rejection isn’t your fault. So it’s wrong to take it personally or to hate her for it.
Instead, focus your precious time and energy into doing one thing:
Find out what she wants
According to science, healthy women in general want two traits in their men: Attractiveness and confidence. On top of that, each woman will want specific traits depending on her preferences—but those aren’t nearly as important.
Here’s what’s most important:
Focus on the basics
Cultivate those two traits in yourself:
- Attractiveness: Adopt a trendier fashion sense. Practice good grooming. Get ripped—or at least be fit. These are all long-term, enjoyable goals to pursue.
- Confidence: Get good at making money. Achieve financial independence. Get really awesome in at least one useful skill. More fun goals to chase, right?
Remember: She’s not the only woman who will find you more attractive. Most other women you’ll approach in the future will, too. It’s an investment that keeps paying you back.
The Re-Attraction Phase: The Tough In-Between After Being Rejected by a Girl
Now that the basics are out of the way, let’s discuss the next important phase of the process: Re-attraction. This is the phase where you give her a chance to notice you, feel attracted to you, and think: “Maybe I judged him wrongly the first time.”
So how exactly do you make her feel that way? Here’s what you’ll want to do:
Give her space
Chasing her and begging her to reconsider is the “kiss of death” after getting rejected by a girl. Remember, the rejection may have been stressful for her, too. Give her space to recover from that stress by not contacting her for at least a few weeks.
One of the biggest traps in these few weeks of zero contact is obsessing over her. Trust me when I say it’s a downward spiral. Stay out of it by staying busy: Working out, pursuing a hobby, working on a side hustle, etc.
By the way, it’s okay to still be friends with her on social media. It may even be good, especially if your photos and updates show that you’re doing just fine after the rejection. It’ll give her a chance to think, “Okay, he’s not needy like I thought he was. Quite the opposite, actually.”
Apologize if you must
If she tries to talk to you about your failed attempt to woo her, what should you do? Simple: Smile and tell her something like:
“If I offended you, I’m sorry. You were worth the shot. I didn’t want to keep it all inside for the rest of my life, and then wondering on my deathbed ‘what if.’ So yeah—sorry if I offended you. Still friends?”
And speaking of...
Best be friends first
Yeah, yeah, I know. You’re thinking, “why would I want to put myself in the friendzone?” But trust me on this: being friends now is better than making her forget about you completely.
If she does reconnect with you, don’t jump right back to confessing and trying to win her. That’s instant suicide after getting rejected by a girl.
Instead, be friends first. Work on building positive associations with you. You want her to like you, trust you, and feel 100% comfortable with you.
This is the big one. Even when you become friends again, don’t drop everything for her. Have something in your life that’s bigger and more important than her.
You’ve already written down some goals for building attractiveness and confidence, right? Pick one and make it your life’s mission. And make it so important that you’re willing to let go of your girl if she doesn’t support it.
Why? Ironically, it’ll make her feel more attracted to you than ever before. Try it and see for yourself.
Winning Over a Girl Who Rejected You
Let’s say you eventually reconnect with your girl, and you become friends for a while. You build those positive associations, and your friendship is better than ever. She might even be dropping hints that she’s interested in going to the next level with you.
How do you carry out this phase correctly? Again, just follow the steps:
Don’t ask her out on “dates.”
When inviting her out, don’t call it a “date.” The romantic connotations will discourage her from saying “yes.”
Instead, call it a “meet up” or a “hang out” somewhere. Think of a friendly setup she’ll find hard to say “no” to.
Keep meeting other women
This is super-important. No need to date these women, of course. But it’s important to make new female friends, or at least learn to chat them up to see if they’re worth your time.
This will remind you that your girl isn’t the only one out there. The more options you have, the more she’ll think about you as more than just a friend.
And speaking of having options...
Be the prize, not the pursuer
Here’s a hot take: You’re the prize. She has to win your heart, and not the other way around. How’s that for a confidence boost?
That said, confidence comes from competence. So keep working on becoming a more manly man, and soon “being the prize” will be second nature to you.
Put the ball in her court
When she does try talking to you about getting more serious, tell her something like:
“I don’t know. Last time I checked, you didn’t seem ready. Just let me know if you changed your mind.”
Let her chase you. And when she does, here’s something to keep in mind:
Become her secret lover first
Here’s the thing. When you make no mention of “dates,” “boyfriend,” “relationship,” and other romantic words, she’ll actually get attracted to you faster.
Soon enough, you might end up as secret lovers. You’ll take her somewhere private—like your place or hers—chill for the evening, then suddenly you’re making out and making love. “One thing just led to another,” as they say.
And when that happens, it’s time for the coup de grace:
"Good morning, girlfriend."
The morning after “it” happens, and she wakes up beside you, kiss her on the forehead and say: “Good morning, girlfriend.” And cap the morning with a nice breakfast with her.
And there you have it—the A to Z of what to do when you get rejected by a girl, especially if you want to win her back. You’ve got your marching orders—now go get ‘er.