If you’ve ended up here in search of the best Tinder pick up lines I have some great news for you: You’re exactly where you need to be. Not because I’m going to give you some of the best Tinder opening lines or even funny Tinder pickup lines but because there’s no such thing and you need to know why.
Don’t worry, there’s no judgment around here, just honest, helpful advice. Pick up lines are a long-forgotten relic of the past and they’re best left that way.
Instead, Tinder gives you the option to start conversation after conversation with women and get comfortable with it. So stick with this article, take the advice on board and within a couple of weeks, you’ll be glad you did.
As guys, it’s typically left to us to initiate a conversation on Tinder. I’m not here to debate whether or not that’s fair. What I am offering is an optimistic viewpoint on that.
It means that you get to perfect your conversation starters through sheer repetition.
In today’s article, I’m giving you the fundamentals you need to come up with your own style. Trust me when I say pushing yourself to get creative and develop your own “brand” is worthwhile.
While a huge portion of men on Tinder are trying sleazy pickup lines or just saying “Hi,” you’re a breath of fresh air. You’re coming in with unique, engaging conversation and that’s how you get your responses. Let’s get to it.
Before I go any further, I want to make this point clear. Most of the “Best Tinder pick up lines” guides I see online seem to forget this fact.
You aren’t playing some game and you’re not trying to conjure up a date with a magic spell. Literally all you’re doing is breaking the ice on Tinder and getting her to respond.
So put yourself in her shoes for a moment. She might have 50 new matches today. 30 of them haven’t said a thing, 15 said “Hey” or “Hi” and you’re one of the remaining five. See how low that bar is?
She’s just another person looking to have a conversation, it’s not as scary as those articles make it out to be!
Good Tinder opening lines are meant to be casual and easy. If she’s being inundated with messages, she isn’t going to take 10 minutes to respond to you.
Simple comments and questions make for the best first message on Tinder. Most of the time, I like to include an easy question in my opener for this exact reason. Asking her opinion on something from her profile often works best.
This way it’s a topic you know she’s familiar with and she can answer with minimal effort. Much better than “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” or some cliche questions that aren’t even good Tinder pickup lines.
Like most of us, you’re probably swiping pretty fast, usually just looking at the first photo, right? If you’re unsure, maybe you’ll tap through her other pics before you swipe.
The thing is, the photos in her profile are good for so much more than just snap decisions.
The photos she chose to put in her profile are there for a reason. Sure, she likes the way she looks in them, but they also speak to who she is. They’re photos from that vacation she loved, that event she went to or when she saw her favorite band.
Take a moment to look through these photos closely and you’ll find so much inspiration for a good first message on Tinder.
As a quick and recent example, I noticed the beach where one of her photos was taken. I simply said,
“Great, now I’m sitting here at 3 p.m. on a work day wishing I was still at Burleigh Heads. How did you like the Gold Coast?”
“Me too! When were you in Australia?”
Not that hard, huh?
Just like her photos, her bio can be a treasure trove of topics for you to play with. You can be sure she's checking out your Tinder bio too. If she has a strong opinion on something, then there’s a decent chance she’ll tell you right there in her bio.
It might even be as simple as mentioning or quoting her favorite TV series. If you’re familiar with it too, there’s a really simple way to get the conversation started with a mutual interest.
An example of this one is from How I Met Your Mother. Several different women have described me as a mix of Barney Stinson and Ted Moseby. Well dressed, confident, slightly cocky but also able to pull it back and be “real.”
So, I saw that she liked the show too and started with a pretty good first message on Tinder:
“Another HIMYM fan I see. I’ve been described as a weird combo of Barney and Ted — which would you rather go on a date with?”
“Oh? That’s an interesting combo. Good question! I guess Barney for the first date but Ted if we became a thing?”
Again, hardly a ground-breaking Tinder pickup line but a whole lot better than “Hi!” I started with something she’s interested in, it was unique and I asked a question that was easy to respond to.
A common trap I see my friends fall into here is focusing on the most obvious things. If her first photo is her standing in front of the Las Vegas sign, I’d probably look for something else. Guaranteed you wouldn’t be the first to start with, “Vegas, huh? I like Vegas too!”
Everybody loves Vegas, so let’s look a little deeper. Pay attention to the types of places she likes to hang out and what she does with her time.
Relating on that level is much better than “Your dog is cute.” Granted, it’s still better than “Hey,” but honestly, she knows her dog is cute, that’s why she has a photo with him/her.
To an extent, this might depend on your sense of humor. I’m fortunate enough that this is also part of my personality anyway. But it can go a long way.
So many guys read about the best Tinder pick up lines or study the “pickup artist” community and hit her with sleaze. Over-confident garbage that makes her roll her eyes on the daily.
Being able to laugh at yourself is a great way to differentiate yourself. It’s disarming, which is a pleasant change, just make it clear that it’s a joke.
For example, I’ve absolutely opened with “No way, I almost bought those leggings recently. The question is, who would’ve worn them better?” and it went well. Stupidly poking fun at myself and challenging her on who’d look best in some Lulu leggings.
That’s very different from “I wish I was slim enough to pull off pants like that.” That’s not poking fun at yourself; that’s showing your lack of self-confidence. Not a good way to start any conversation.
There are several reasons why flirting on Tinder by starting off with a compliment is typically a bad idea. There are some exceptions. But let’s keep it simple and give a blanket “Don’t do it” recommendation here.
The thing is, if she’s very attractive, you aren’t the first person today to tell her that. If she’s not, then you’re going to come across as a white knight — an insincere attempt to make her feel better which is essentially just manipulation.
Either way, it’s a lose-lose. There are so many better things for you to focus on in her profile, save the compliments for later.
Last but not least, don’t be afraid to experiment. Nobody ever found what they were looking for on Tinder in their first match.
Get creative, try different ideas and see what gets a response. Just like the women you’ve matched with, each of us are different. We have a different sense of humor, a different personality and a different background.
I can get away with a lot of cheeky comments because it’s who I am. If you’re the more serious type, there’s nothing wrong with that at all. It just means you’ll use a different approach and that’s okay.
Figure out your own style, develop your own brand and remember that Tinder is meant to be fun. Practice formulating a good first message on Tinder, start some conversations, pay attention to what gets you the most responses and go from there. Soon enough, you can be pretty successful on Tinder.
So even if you experiment with something and totally bomb (been there), I can assure you of one thing: It’s still better than using some cheesy pickup line.