How Do Older Women Flirt? 10 Signs She Is Interested In You

Older woman flirting with a young man over coffee
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If you’re looking to learn how to tell if an older woman likes you, we’ve got some answers! Truth be told, the way an older woman would flirt with you isn’t fundamentally any different from how a younger woman would. However, there are a few key differences you should definitely know about.

The biggest difference is that older women are more direct and straightforward when flirting with men.

That’s because they have much more life experience than younger women. They already know what they want in life and in a man, so they usually don’t play as many mind games. This, incidentally, is another great benefit of dating older women.

That said, older women are still very capable of giving you unclear signs, which can make you question yourself. And, depending on the woman you’re with, even her direct signs of interest can be really subtle at times.

That’s why it’s always up to you to stay on the lookout for various signs of flirting to determine if she really is flirting with you or not.

To assist you, we’ve created the following list to help you learn how to tell if an older woman is interested in you.

How Older Women Flirt with Men and How You Can Tell If She’s Interested

Below you’ll find the most essential ways older women flirt with younger men, as well as the main signs an older woman likes you. Make sure to read them all because you don’t want to miss any important details.

Some of these ways are pretty obvious but very important nonetheless. That includes women holding eye contact with you and smiling at the same time or touching you flirtatiously. Others are a bit more subtle but extremely powerful. For example, talking about other men yet showering you with compliments at the same time. And a few are really difficult to spot if you don’t know what to look out for.

The way an older woman flirts with you will depend entirely on her as an individual and on how self-confident she is. What’s great, however, is that older women tend to be quite a lot more self-confident than their younger counterparts. That’s why more often than not they’ll still be pretty direct about it.

When you get through this list, you’ll be much better equipped to flirt with older women and women in general. That said, when you do spot one or several of these signs, the ball will be in your court to move things along with her.

Make sure you remember this important point: No matter how obviously an older woman shows she’s interested in you, you will still have to do your part to move the interaction forward.

Basically, her job (unless she’s very bold and forward herself, which happens on occasion) is to show you she’s available and into you. The rest is up to you, so you still have to go talk to her, flirt with her as well, and then get her digits or invite her to somewhere more private.

Obvious Signs an Older Woman Likes You

Here’s a list of the most common signs an older woman likes you. Make sure to go over all of them even if you’re not a beginner. They’ll help you massively when it comes to seducing older women.

1. She looks at you and holds your gaze

Most guys know the importance of eye contact when it comes to flirting and attracting women. And to many, deliberate eye contact is one of the clearest signs a woman is flirting with you.

This sign of flirting may seem too obvious to you. However, it still bears mentioning because not only is it a clear sign, but it’s also one you should never question.

Unless a woman is looking around and scanning the room, eye contact is almost never incidental. It's important to take your surroundings into consideration though.

There are a lot of local places where meeting cougars is a piece of cake. These are places where it's very easy and seamless for strangers to strike up conversations. And you can usually take eye contact as a great sign of interest in these spots.

On the other hand, if you're just looking out the window of your car and make eye contact with a woman doing the same, you can't just slam on the breaks and knock on her window. Assuming a woman is into without the proper context is one huge flirting mistake you don’t want to make.

In addition, don’t feel like she has to be looking at you frequently or intently for it to count, either. Many older women will still be shy and will only make brief eye contact with you. They might even be more careful next time to not get caught. Nevertheless, eye contact is as clear a signal as it gets that a woman is into you. Especially if they hold it for slightly longer than is normally accepted.

When your eyes lock, make sure to maintain eye contact with her. Don’t look away or you’ll seem too timid. And many women do not find meek and timid men attractive. Instead, try flashing a smile or nodding to get her attention even more and to confirm her attraction.

2. She smiles at you warmly and invitingly

Many times women will smile at you simply as a friendly gesture. But when her smiles come along with various other signs she’s interested in you, you can be sure she’s trying to give you a hint.

That said, it’s very important to know how to tell the difference between a simple friendly smile and a flirtatious one.

A friendly smile has no sexual intent or emotion behind it. When you get such a smile, it’s usually because she’s just being friendly towards you and doesn’t necessarily find you attractive.

A warm, genuine and expressive smile, on the other hand, is a completely different thing. It means she likes you and finds you attractive.

When you see such a smile, you should smile back at her in return and watch her reaction. When flirting with a mature woman, you should react quickly yet decisively. If it’s positive, then she was definitely flirting with you. This means it’s a good time to introduce yourself.

If you get a neutral or an indifferent reaction to your smile, it means she’s not really interested in you. Then she’s just being friendly and you shouldn’t get your hopes up.

You could also try to nod or wave at her when your eyes lock and when she smiles at you. This is to invite her to reciprocate and do the same. If she complies, this will further confirm her interest in you.

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3. Older women flirt by starting conversations and listening to you attentively

Women love to talk and they also love to be heard, especially older women. But they’ll usually only listen attentively to those they respect or admire.

If you’re not very confident in your ability to keep up the attraction or keep the conversation going, there are some really great books that can help improve your chances with an older woman.

Keep an eye out for the times when women start conversations with you. Make a note about how attentive they are when you’re doing the talking. If you find one who’s very agreeable and hangs on your every word, you’re likely talking to a woman who’s very interested in you.

Additionally, this is incredibly relevant when a woman starts conversations with you over text. Women are usually pickier than men when choosing whom to talk to. So it’s a positive sign if she’s making an effort to talk to you when you’re not even physically together. Just keep in mind the context, particularly if you're flirting with a woman at work.

Take that as a huge sign of attraction and start flirting back.

4. She touches you flirtatiously

If she touches you, is it easier to tell if an older woman is interested in you? Yes.

You see, humans are social animals. But since you’re wondering about how older women flirt with younger men, then know that touching between men and women goes beyond basic social instincts.

How does a woman flirt with touching? They make it a point to touch you unnecessarily. They may go out of their way to touch you in a social situation for a moment longer than usual if it’s a casual touch.

When women do this, it’s a clear sign of interest on their part. Most women will do this consciously. But some are completely unaware of the fact they’re doing it to get your attention.

Men also feel a natural desire to touch women they’re attracted to, and not just intimately. A woman’s shoulders, forearms and lower back are areas men love to touch to help spark a woman’s interest.

Women like to do the same. So if an older woman touches you in a way that seems flirtatious, you shouldn’t doubt her interest in you.

Physical touch is one of the biggest signs of attraction between men and women. So make sure to keep an eye out for women who are more touchy-feely around you than usual.

5. Older women flirt through compliments

Lastly, a reliable sign that an older woman is interested in you is if she compliments you on something mere acquaintances wouldn’t. Many guys have a tendency to overthink compliments they’ve received and contemplate over their supposed meaning. Don’t do that.

Women tend to be sincere with their compliments because they’re picky about the times they choose to give them.

In addition, when a woman compliments you, don’t feel the need to return the favor. Save it for a time when you can give her an honest and heartfelt compliment instead.

The best way to respond to a compliment is a casual “Thank you.” And don’t forget that it’s a strong sign that she’s interested in you. Especially if the compliment is about your looks or has to do with something sexual.

How Do Older Women Flirt? Subtle Signs An Older Woman Wants You

Now let’s talk about the more subtle signs an older woman wants you. These are also very important to know about, so make sure you understand their significance.

1. She mentions another man’s interest in her

Not all signs in this list are straightforward. Some of them may even confuse you.

Such is the case when a woman mentions another man’s interest in her. Your first thought may be that she’s playing mind games with you. This is a possibility. But you can’t rule out that she might actually be doing this to indirectly convey her interest in you.

For example, when a woman says that a man complimented her style or a coworker has a crush on her, what she may really be telling you is that you should find her attractive because other guys do. In other words, she’s a desirable woman and she may be trying to make this clear to you.

If a woman ever mentions how another man is interested in her, consider if she has been showing you other signs of interest from this list. If so, it’s yet another sign she’s probably into you.

Most women don’t do this deliberately. But they still do it because jealousy is a very strong emotion. They want to spur you into action by implying that other men are vying for her attention and that you should move fast before it’s too late.

That said, under no circumstances should you show her that you’re actually jealous of other men who show her attention. This only signals massive insecurity. And there are very few things women find more unattractive than an insecure man!

2. She tells you she’s single--a big sign an older woman is flirting with you

How do older women flirt with men they’ve just met? Sometimes they’ll straight up tell you they’re single. Or if they want to be more subtle about it, they’ll find some kind of way to imply it without making it seem too obvious.

Where the previous sign may have been confusing, this one could not be any more direct and honest.

If she tells you she’s single or implies it in any way, it could be her signaling her availability to you.

While it’s rare that even the most forward older women will directly tell you “Hey, I’m single and I’d like to date you,” they may tell you exactly this with another tone and in other ways.

She might casually say something like, “I only hang out with my girls, I wish I had someone to go to the movies with,” or “I swear, this year I’ll find myself a great boyfriend!”

That’s because whether a woman is single or taken is entirely her business. So if she tells you out of the blue that she’s available or hasn’t been in a relationship for a while, then it’s often a pretty big sign of interest, as subtle as it is.

Also, one of the greater signs an older woman wants you is if she asks you about your relationships, which leads us to . . .

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3. She asks you about your love life

Unless you’ve been close friends for years, no woman will legitimately care about your love life. That is unless she’s keen about you. So if she asks you about your relationships or relationship status, take it as a clear sign that she likes you.

She might even take a guess at your love life when you’re talking to her: “Your girlfriend must know when you’re being sarcastic, I’m still trying to figure you out!”

Don’t let such a comment confuse you. Regardless of your relationship status, if she raises the topic of your love life, take it as an overwhelmingly positive sign.

This shows she’s trying to figure out if you’re available or not. She’s also trying to see if there’s any competition she should be worried about.

4. How do older women flirt? She seems to “show up” around you

This one is evidently contextual. It may happen to you if the older woman you’re interested in is a coworker or someone you make eye contact with at the gym. There are theories that familiarity is a key component in attraction. If that’s true, then proximity is a way to facilitate mutual attraction between a man and a woman.

Regardless of the verdict, women seem to “show up” around you or increase the amount of time they’re close to you when they’re into you.

Pay attention to the women in your surroundings who make eye contact or smile at you before. If you find her “appearing” around you more often, seemingly without reason, it’s probably her way to get you to notice her and develop an interest in her as well.

This is something older women do if they don’t want to be too direct with their flirting. Because for one reason or another they don’t want everyone else around them to know they’re interested in you.

In a way, they’re testing out the waters to see if you’ll bite while shielding themselves from rejection at the same time.

So when you notice that a particular woman spends more time in your presence than usual, it means you definitely caught her eye and you should chat her up to see where things may lead.

5. How to tell if an older woman likes you: She asks you personal questions

How do older women flirt through online dating?

If she starts a conversation with you despite the fact that it’s men who usually approach, she’s flirting with you. But don’t worry if women aren’t starting conversations with you online. Rather, pay attention to the women who ask you personal questions.

If you reach out to an older woman and find yourself talking to her, make a note of how often she asks about you.

Generally speaking, when women genuinely want to get to know you, they will ask you various questions of a more personal nature.

Women who do this genuinely want to figure out who you are as a person. Because they want to get to know you better and date you.

When you notice this, don’t interrupt them. Answer their questions as best you can. After that, ask them some personal questions in return to signal your interest in them as well.

This is something that can even quickly transition into an impromptu date. So it’s a really huge sign that an older woman is flirting with you online.

The more of these signs a woman gives you, the more she’s interested in you romantically. So pay attention to them when you’re out and about.

“The brunette in the green dress. She's attracted to you."

"WTF? How do you know?"

"I'll explain after. Just go!"

No, this isn't a scene from a romantic comedy. It's a conversation I had with a friend. He couldn't believe that random hot women at the bar could be interested in him. He told me later that he was still doubting himself when he took her back to his hotel. But the next morning, he had a smile on his face.

There are lots of tricks you can use to tell when a woman is interested in you. We'll cover five of them in this article (but it's a much bigger topic than that and needs some practice to get it right).

Single woman

How You Can Tell If an Older Woman Is Interested

Let's look at a few tests you can do if you're not 100% sure that a woman wants you:

Does she want me? Test #1: Her hands

Talk to her for a few minutes and then put out your hands, palms up, and ask her to give you her hands.

If she declines, she's not interested in you yet.* If she puts her hands in yours, continue to the next step.

Did she put her hands in yours, palms up? She's almost definitely likes you.

Either way, try squeezing her hands. Does she squeeze back? Interested. Slowly lower your hands. Do her hands follow yours? Also interested.

*I say "not interested YET" on purpose. I see too many guys give up if they don't get attraction signs right away. Sometimes it takes a few minutes.

Does she want me? Test #2: Her feet

Move her. If you're at a café, ask her to keep you company when you get up to order another coffee. If you're at a bar, tell her the music is too loud and lead her outside to the patio.

A few things will happen when you try to make a "logistical move" like this.

If she won't go with you and doesn't have a good excuse (e.g., I'm holding this table for my friends), then she's not that into you yet.

If she does come with you, take her hand -- especially if you’re somewhere crowded like a bar. Watch for two things:

  • Does she instantly respond to your hand? Does she hold your hand or your wrist? How hard is her grip (the harder the better, within reason)?
  • When you get to where you're going does she quickly drop your hand or let it linger for a couple of seconds? Pro tip - drop her hand first to see the reaction.

Does She Want Me? Test #3: Proximity

No matter how attractive you are, it’ll be rare for beautiful women to approach you and tell you how much they want you. For many women, the furthest they’ll go to show their interest in a man is to make eye contact with him.

(We're not going to waste time using eye contact as a test -- I assume you know that one. Just remember -- go over and talk to her after making eye contact once or twice, no more, or you could come across as stale and creepy.)

Another thing women will do when they want to meet you is to stand somewhere convenient for you to approach them. If you notice the same women standing about 6 feet away from you as you move around the venue, at least one of them probably wants to meet you.

Another way of testing this is to approach one of these women from behind and tap her on the shoulder. If she's attracted and waiting for you to approach, she won't act like anything is unusual. If she wasn't expecting you to approach, she might be startled for a second. But as long as you weren't being creepy about it, you'll be fine. Just run your opener as normal.

Does She Want Me? Test #4: Qualification

One of the easiest ways to tell if a woman is interested in you is to qualify her. Indeed, Qualification comes right after Attraction.

Ask a woman something like: “So what do you have going for you other than your looks?” Not in a mean or judgmental sort of way. Think of yourself scanning some Armani suits and asking the shop assistant what makes this one in particular special.

If she’s into you, she’ll try to “sell” (qualify) herself to you. It doesn’t matter whether she has a great answer on the spot – what’s important is that she tries.

If she isn’t interested in you at all, she won’t care that you asked.

Think about this in your own life. If a beautiful woman sitting next to you on the airplane asked you what your best qualities were, you’d probably try to sell yourself (perhaps after making some self-deprecating jokes first so you don’t come off as bragging). But if a homeless person on the street asked you the same question, you might not put as much effort into your answer.

Qualification is a really important concept, and too many people skip over it.

Does She Want Me? Test #5: Pinging

A “ping” is a signal that goes from from one computer to another. When that computer receives it, it sends a signal back. You can use pinging for anything from determining if you’re connected to a network (and what your speed is) to running an air traffic control system.

You can also use it for testing how attracted a woman is to you. And it works the exact same way.

When she tells a joke or says something funny, playfully touch her arm or elbow or shoulder. Wait. Does she touch you back? How quickly? One ping might not tell you much but a dozen over the course of a conversation will reveal everything.

Now that you’re aware of all the biggest signs an older woman likes you, your seduction journey will be much easier.


You have your answers to the biggest question of how to tell if an older woman likes you. When you spot the signs above, it’s entirely up to you to make this work. You still have to take the initiative and move things forward, otherwise, nothing will happen.

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