If you’ve been dating anytime recently, you’ve had to deal with texting back and forth. One of the toughest things is knowing how to answer a “how was your day” text. It seems rather basic but depending on how you answer, it could send a bunch of different messages to your potential partner.
Many of the dating sites out there have so many rules around each and every interaction, it can cause anxiety. But it doesn’t have to be that difficult if you pay attention to just a few things and think before you reply.
How to answer a “how was your day” text
In this article, I’m going to break down some key points here so you can focus on the right things.
If you’ve read my other articles, you know that I’m not a fan of all these rules other “experts” put on you. Texting a woman should be similar to any other conversation and we all need to stop overthinking things.
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Of course, if you’re just trying to figure out how to answer a “how was your day” text, we’ve got you covered right here.
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Get your head in the right place
This is a recurring theme in my articles for a reason. Getting your head in the right place and building genuine self-confidence is most of the battle in dating.
Between these and the sea of arbitrary rules around every move and message, it can be challenging. I dare say this combination is what leads you to ask how to answer a "how was your day" text in the first place.
There’s one important thing I want you to remember here. Not only did she give you her number, but she’s also happily texting you. This attractive woman is interested in you and you need to let yourself accept that fact!
It’s something I used to struggle with in the beginning too, so I can absolutely relate to the problem. Unfortunately, we can be very effective at convincing ourselves that we aren’t enough -- that we’re reading into the message too much and she’s just being friendly.
As I said, she gave you her number and is texting you. Neither of these facts are to be taken lightly. Attractive women are not in the habit of handing their number out to random guys so you already know she’s into you.
What’s she really asking?
This is perhaps another complication with learning how to answer a "how was your day" text. It’s unlikely that she actually wants to know about your day.
Instead, think of it as a less awkward version of saying, “Hi, please talk to me” or "Is our date still on?" What she’s really asking for is your attention in a way that’s easy to respond to.
If you’re suffering from low self-esteem, it may be hard to accept this but she’s thinking about you and wants to know if it’s mutual.
In a way, this is her gently reaching out to you so she can’t be rejected. If she’s texted you first and asking how your day was, she’s giving you an easy out in case you’re not really interested in her. She likely doesn’t want to ask you outright for a date for fear of getting turned down. Remember that women have self-confidence issues just like guys.
Seguing this question into an effective conversation is something we’ll get to soon. First, let’s talk about how long you should wait before you respond to her.
How long should you wait to reply?
This is one area everyone loves to put a number on. Like there’s a magical timeframe between the date, texting her after your date and figuring out that she's not that into you.
In reality, as long as you’re not responding instantly or making her wait a week, it really doesn’t matter.
The reason you want to avoid each of these extremes is the message it sends. If you respond instantly, it suggests that you have nothing else going on and you’re way too excited to message her. Even if that’s true, it’s best to cool it for now.
At the other end of the spectrum, if you’re waiting a week to respond to her, it seems like you’re not interested. Since nobody likes how that feels, she’s going to lose interest and move on pretty quickly.
As long as you’re responding in over 30 seconds but less than a few days, you’re good. For me, I’ll just reply whenever I have time. Like most people I work, have a social life, study, etc., so sometimes it could be a few hours. Other times, I might be waiting for the elevator so I’ll respond in less than a minute.
I find this to be the best way to handle it because it keeps me from overthinking things. Reply when you can without interrupting whatever you’re doing and forget about the antiquated three-day rule!
How to answer the question
Okay, time to talk about your actual response to this message. In keeping with the theme of ‘don’t overthink it,' you want your response to be nice and casual.
You might be excited to have a message from her but try to resist being over the top when you respond. No need to reply, “Hi! Fantastic! I’m having such a great day, especially now that you’ve messaged me!”
Instead, think of it like responding to a friend that sent you this message. Answer the question, maybe ask her the same and follow up with something else.
So, let's say, in the context of texting her before your first date, you might say that you're excited about your date. Likewise, in the context of replying to her after she canceled your date, you could use this as an opportunity to set up another one.
The better you can answer how your day has been in context and lead into a complete conversation, the better. This brings me to my next point . . .
Segueing into other conversation
Since what she’s really looking for here is your attention, it’s a fantastic opportunity to work on your texting. You know she wants to chat with you so the conversation will flow very easily.
If you answer the question and ask about her day, she’s going to answer and expand on it a bit too. If you’re stuck from there, focus on whatever else she says besides how her day is.
The conversation will typically look something like this:
Her: “Hey, how was your day?”
Me: “It’s been pretty chill. Almost at my limit for studying today, how about you?”
Her: “Ugh, I gave up on that hours ago lol. I’ve decided to study Netflix today, that counts right?”
In this example, she’s expanded on it by saying she’s watching Netflix. That’s such an ideal topic because you have so much to talk about. Ask her what’s she’s been binging on today or tell her your favorite show right now. Then you can segue into low-key flirting over text.
If the rapport and confidence are already there, you could even respond by suggesting you go do something together. It can be as simple as this:
Me: “That totally counts. Sounds much better than this textbook. I need a drink while my eyes recover, we should go to [local bar] later.”
As you can see from these examples, you don’t need to be Casanova to handle the question effectively. Anything from general conversation to a date invite is entirely acceptable.
That brings us full circle to my original point -- being unsure of how to respond to this message is perfectly normal. The best way to handle it is by responding to her like you would anyone else and enjoying the conversation.
So long as you aren’t replying insanely fast or slow, you’re in the clear. You can do away with all of those other rules and enjoy chatting with an attractive woman!
It’s not so scary when you look at it that way.