It doesn’t matter how typically “good-looking” you are as a man, how big your muscles are or how fancy your car is. None of these things alone are enough to guarantee your success with women. Sure, it’d be great if it was that easy, but it doesn’t work like that. So if you want to learn how to arouse a woman, keep reading.
You might label us as hard work or too complicated to figure out. But that’s because women and men work differently. What’s important to remember is arousal is the fundamental building block to orgasms and mind-blowing sex. If someone isn’t aroused, they won’t have a great time in the bedroom.
It all begins with understanding that men and women view arousal differently.
Men are visual creatures, which is why porn is so popular with them. Women, on the other hand, are aroused by their imaginations and how they feel. So it makes sense that many of us love indulging in romance novels. Let me give you an example of this:
A woman dancing in a strip club in her lingerie will turn most men on immediately, even if they don’t want to have sex with her. Whereas a man in his Y-fronts doesn’t often have the same effect on women. In fact, a man suited and booted is usually much more attractive to us but the context of where you meet matters a lot.
If you meet at a friends party how quickly a woman will allow herself to be aroused is going to differ from meeting her on the few legitimate sites and apps for finding hookups that work for guys.
So it’s clear that women and men view arousal differently. And once you understand what turns a woman on, you’ll be able to get on out there and please her.
Here are 8 simple steps on how to arouse a woman.
Studies have shown that a woman’s brain is more stimulated than a man’s when she’s aroused. This is biological proof of how differently men and women get turned on.
If a man sees something typically described as sexy, it will generally lead to sexual desire. But women need more than this to get to the same place. One step that’s crucial is a woman needs to be in a relaxed and stress-free state to be aroused and have an orgasm. So you could say that your job begins with helping her feel relaxed and calm.
That might mean giving her a wonderful massage to start things off. Even cleaning the house for her or taking her out for a date can help her unwind from a busy day.
If she’s overworked, tired or stressed then it’ll show up in her inability to relax and be present with you in bed.
It sounds insignificant, but little things like tidying the bedroom, putting fresh sheets on the bed, making sure the place smells good, lighting a few candles or even putting some soft romantic music on in the background makes a big difference to us.
Remember, we’re generally more sensual, feeling creatures. So creating a romantic and peaceful mood will help us to relax and feel good.
When a man makes an effort to make the bedroom a sanctuary for us, we notice and appreciate it. And it only helps make us like or love you even more.
A study conducted by Dove Cosmetics found that a staggering 96% of women don’t believe they are beautiful. On top of that, a tremendous number of us feel immense pressure to conform to ridiculous beauty standards set by society.
Men don’t need to feel attractive or sexy to have great sex, but women do. And it seems that sadly, many of us don’t feel this way about ourselves and our bodies. So many women struggle to enjoy sex because they worry a lot about how they look, smell and taste.
This is where you can swoop in. If you’re aware of your partner’s insecurities, be sure to tell her how beautiful she is to you, and how sexy you find her. Focus on more unique areas, or ones that you know she feels less than happy about. Help her fall in love with herself and she’ll love you for it.
When I say foreplay, I’m talking about things in and out of the bedroom.
Outside the bedroom, make sure you’re taking the time to touch her, hold her hand in the street, give her bear hugs and kiss her passionately. Be kind and caring towards us. Answer our texts and calls, and be a gentleman. What happens before you reach the bedroom is all foreplay as far as women are concerned. This really helps build arousal for us.
When it comes to the bedroom, there’s no such thing as too much foreplay for women. So we hate it when guys skip right past this step. Not only does it prevent us from becoming properly aroused, but it also tells us you’re selfish and only concerned about getting yours.
Don’t reach straight for our breasts or clitoris either! Take your time exploring, kissing, touching and licking every inch of our body.
It’s often more difficult for us as women to switch off, get out of our heads and fully relax in bed with our partner. But this can be a struggle for men too. And if you are in your head worrying about other things, you can bet we’ll notice it. We’re emotionally intelligent that way.
So don’t overthink anything or worry whether she likes you or not. And definitely don’t think about what you’re going to do after this! Get out of your head and into your body. When you’re present in the moment and fully focused on us, it shows us you’re calm and confident. And that’s a huge turn on for women.
If you’re with someone new, you can’t expect them to enjoy the same things that your previous partners did. Makes sense, right? But you’d be surprised how many times guys are baffled why their go-to moves just aren’t cutting it. So then they choose to blame the woman they’re with because they can’t get her aroused or make her orgasm.
So what do you do? You ask her what she likes and wants from you. And you keep on asking her until you know exactly what she needs to be aroused and climax. If you’re not sure what she means, ask her to guide you or show you what she wants. If there’s ever a moment where you’re unsure if she enjoys something or not, don’t be afraid to check in with her.
Most men will go straight for our nipples, start rubbing our clit or slide a finger in because they lack patience. And then they don’t understand what they’re doing wrong.
The vagina and nipples are not a woman’s only erogenous zones, you know. You probably do know that, you’re just rushing things. And like I said, that’s a big mistake, and will curb a woman’s arousal and excitement.
How about kissing our neck, stroking our inner thighs, nibbling on our earlobes or even softly caressing our feet. When you explore our whole body, you help us feel more relaxed, more desirable, and you will probably discover a whole load of new ways to arouse us that you never knew before.
The biggest problem I’ve noticed with men is you’re always in such a rush. Why? Slow down, take your time and allow her to enjoy every moment of this experience with you.
Quickies are sometimes fun. But most of the time women want and need things to be slower so we can get turned on and fully aroused and ready for sex.
We both know how this is going to end. There aren’t any surprises here! So what are you rushing ahead for? When you think you’ve spent enough time on something, spend some more time doing it. Because chances are you need to ease her into things. What may seem like forever to you might feel like mere seconds to her. This is how to arouse a woman every time.
There you have it: 8 simple steps that will help you to arouse a woman every time, so she can enjoy herself with you in bed and reach orgasm. It’s not as complicated as you thought, right? I think you’ve got this. And if you’re still in doubt whether she’s aroused, check in with her and ask her what you can do to help her enjoy herself more. After all, every woman is different. And only she knows what she needs from you.