Women are the nurturers, carers, and the life-givers of our world. We make up more than 50% of the population, and are the very reason why the human race not only survives but thrives. Yet men seem baffled about how our brains work. I can’t tell you the number of times that I’ve heard men describe us as difficult, complicated, and confusing. But I’m not buying what they’re selling. Learning how to understand a woman is really very simple.
Women are not complex, alien-like creatures. We are rational human beings, just like men. We are different, yes. But not so much so that it's impossible to understand us! I think most of the male confusion stems from laziness, a lack of gender equality, poor education or the wrong mindset about women.
Whether you agree with me or not, you cannot get away from women. Whether it’s the woman you’re dating, your sister, mother, friend, or co-worker, you will likely be in contact with women on a daily basis. So knowing how to understand women, talk to them and peacefully co-exist with them is vital.
How to Understand a Woman: It’s Not Rocket Science
Women aren’t as complicated as you think they are. But I do need to make one thing clear: every woman (and man) is different. This means that regardless of the points I’m about to make, you really need to approach each woman as the unique individual she is.
That being said, there are a few universal truths you should know. They will help you gain valuable insights into the way women work. Here are the 8 biggest things that guys need to know when it comes to figuring out how to understand women.
Realize we are human beings just like you
I’ve noticed that men often forget that women are human beings, just like them. Perhaps this is because women are continually objectified in porn and the media. This then leads men to believe (often subconsciously) that we are not human.
Once you remove social differences such as sitting or standing to pee, our physical differences, and you take away sex from the equation, you’ll notice just how similar men and women really are. Think about this next time you’re with a woman and interacting with her.
Don’t be afraid of our emotions (and your own)
This is a generalization. But women on the whole tend to be emotional thinkers while men are more logical thinkers. This has nothing to do with intelligence by the way. Both are valid and important ways of thinking. But sadly, our patriarchal society values logic (a masculine energy) above all else. FYI, this doesn’t mean women aren’t logical and men aren’t emotional.
It’s not surprising that men are afraid of how emotional women can be. So they tend to either avoid it altogether. Boys are taught from a young age that showing their emotions is a sign of weakness, something only girls do. It’s no wonder they end up avoiding emotions and not making sense of them. It’s because nobody has taught them how.
What’s beautiful is the way that men and women differ in the way they think. They complement each other and create a strong team. You may be inclined to trust the facts and make a snap decision, while she is more likely to lean in to her intuition and trust her feelings. Neither is wrong. Don’t be afraid of her emotions or your own.
We want you to listen to us
One of the best ways to learn how to understand a woman is to stop talking and just listen to us. This is how you’ll find out what we’re thinking, how we’re feeling and what’s really going on inside our heads or hearts. Whenever you’re unsure of what she’s thinking, don’t be afraid to ask her and then sit back and listen to what she has to say. After all, not all signs that a woman likes you will be obvious. Good communication is so important to women. And listening is a key part of this.
Remember, just because something doesn’t make sense to you or align with your own perspective, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong or that you can discount it.
We want you to open up to us
You’ll probably already know (even if it’s just from watching movies) that women like to talk through their feelings and problems. We do this to make sense of them and hopefully resolve them. Men aren’t in the habit of doing this. They prefer to think they can solve everything on their own inside their heads. The conflict arises where she wants nothing more than to know what’s going on in your head. But you want to keep that info under lock and key. The irony is, men actually talk more than women, they just don’t talk about the things we women want them to!
Try opening up to a woman. View talking as a way of bonding, not as a means of solving a problem. You can get valuable insights when you simply communicate and open up to us.
Women want respect
As a man, you likely want to be respected by other people. Why would you think that women are any different?
We don’t want to be respected as women, we want to be respected as people, as individuals. This links back to seeing us as human beings and not some rare, unfamiliar species. It doesn't matter if you're trying to attract a woman in her 40s or someone younger, respect should always be there.
Whether you realize it or not, women are very important to our world and society. Unfortunately, in most countries, women are not celebrated. They are often still suppressed or oppressed simply because they’re born with a vagina.
We don’t want to be labelled as a female CEO, a female athlete or a female politician. Instead, we want to be seen as more than our gender. Don’t get us wrong, we’re proud to be women. But we don’t want to be singled out simply because we are women, as if we’re working with some kind of genetic disease.
How to understand a woman: read her mind
Sounds confusing, but hear me out. I know men are always complaining about women expecting them to be able to read their minds and know what they want without them voicing it. The truth is, you should eventually be able to do this.
After you’ve spent a great deal of time together, a woman shouldn’t have to explain exactly how and why she is feeling the way she is and what she wants from you in the moment. She expects you to be connected enough to her that you understand her and don’t need a play by play each time. Like when you're seducing a woman, you'll want to pay close attention to whether she's turned on or not.
Most of the time, all we’re really looking for is for a man to listen, respond, give us a hug or a kiss, and show us how everything will be okay. You don’t need to be a mind reader, you just need to pay attention to the little things.
Understand that a woman is turned on in her mind
Women work differently from men when it comes to most things. And sex is no exception. You need more than just good looks to attract a woman. It takes more than seeing a man naked for us to be aroused. It starts way before you get to the bedroom.
Women need to be turned on in their minds. This means showing us love and appreciation, kissing us, creating a romantic setting and making us feel beautiful. And don’t scrimp on the foreplay! It’s vital for a woman’s sexual pleasure and shows that you care about her needs too.
We want you to love and care for us
Make no mistake, women can take care of themselves. But that doesn’t mean they want to do it alone or have nobody else looking out for them. No man or woman lives to exist alone. This is the whole point of being in a relationship: to have someone who cares about you, someone to laugh and learn and cry with, someone who has your back the way you have theirs.
Women want a man they trust will be there for them through the ups and downs. They want a man who genuinely cares about her heart and not just her body. Most of the time, it’s the little things that count, not the grand gestures. Send her a good luck text before her big meeting at work. Cook her a surprise romantic meal. Tend to her when she’s sick by bringing her noodle soup. This is how you make a woman fall in love with you.
All that really matters is that you’re willing to learn how to understand women. Try to see where she’s coming from. This will require an open mind and heart. But with this comes a world full of possibility and magic! Women respond when you respond to them. So the more you understand us, the better position you’ll be in to live in harmony with us and create a strong and fulfilling relationship.