You did it. You got the number of that gorgeous woman you’ve been lusting after. Now it’s time to get the conversation going and build the attraction between you with some clever texts. If you’re not adept at texting women, not to worry. We can help you avoid the common mistakes men make when texting women.
We’ll be focusing on the six colossal no-nos of texting women — and what you should do instead.
Texting with a woman you like is a great way to get to know each other before going out on your first date. By following our rules, you’ll be texting like a pro in no time — and every single woman you text will be dying to meet you in person.
Mistake #1: Emoticon and LOL usage
If you're texting the woman you like by sending walls of emojis, consider it game over. Emojis may be popular but sending too many when texting can make you come across as immature — and that’s a major no-no when texting with a woman. You want her to think of you as an equal, not as a frat boy.
Your best bet is to keep your emoticons to a minimum. Sending a smile or a wink is OK, but only when you text something flirtatious or funny. In this case, it’s completely appropriate and sets the right tone.
Overusing LOL is also a mistake.
Think of it like this: when you’re talking with someone in person, you don’t laugh at the end of every sentence do you? You only laugh when something is actually funny. So make sure to treat your texts the same way.
If you’re not writing or responding to something that’s actually funny. Steer clear of LOL, “ha ha ha” or any of its equivalents.
Mistake #2: Not asking her out is a huge mistake men make when texting women
All too often, guys will text, and text and then text some more — but they never actually ask the woman they’ve been conversing with out. Whether they’re too nervous or they’re waiting for her to do the asking or they're caught up with flirting over text, it still leaves a bad impression. You’ll look like you lack confidence.
Remember guys, if she gave you her number, she’s interested in getting to know you better and is probably expecting you to ask her out for coffee or dinner.
When you do ask her out, make sure you are direct and specific. Asking if she wants to get together sometime just doesn’t cut it. She may say yes, but unless you make specific plans, that date is never going to happen.
So ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work or go out for dinner with you on Friday. Even if she’s not available on the days you suggest, don’t wait. Find a date and time that works for both of you right then and there if you truly want the date to happen.
There’s more to asking a woman out than finding the right thing to say. You need to build up a connection first. How can you do that? Take a look at our complete video guide on dating women. We spend hours teaching you to have to meet and attract women both online and offline in an authentic and enjoyable way.
Mistake #3: Asking her out over text
If texting is going well and you’ve built up a good rapport, it’s time to dial her number and talk to her. One of the best ways to ensure she’ll answer is to call her in the middle of a text conversation. Nine times out of 10 she’ll answer because she’ll be curious to know why you’re changing things up. So keep the conversation going for a minute or two and then ask her out.
A woman will admire this type of boldness because, let’s face it, it takes way more confidence to ask a woman out over the phone than it does over text.
Mistake #4: Sending explicit photos or texts
Sending an occasional photo to the woman you like to stimulate a conversation is a great idea. Sending photos of anything more explicit, pictures of you in your underwear or anything that focuses below the blet, however, is a huge mistake.
Just. Don’t. Do. It. It’s juvenile and will not impress the woman you’re texting.
The same goes for sexual texts. Getting sexual before you’ve even gone out on a date conveys only one thing: “I just want to sleep with you.” And that’s not the impression you want to leave her with (unless she already likes you and wants to sleep with you).
Instead, focus on sending texts that show her your personality and intelligence. Women appreciate a good-looking guy, but they also want someone who can hold an intelligent conversation. As a rule of thumb, unless she initiates a steamy conversation, don’t dive right into sexting!
Mistake #5: Waiting too long to respond
You know that rule about waiting three days to text a woman after she gives you her number? Worst. Advice. Ever.
You want the lady to know you’re interested and waiting three days to text definitely doesn’t show her that you’re into her, especially if it’s your first time texting! It would be so easy for her to assume that your interest fizzled out.
We’re not saying you should text her immediately, but the next day or as soon as your schedule allows is a better move. Find something, any interesting topic to talk about over text and send her that message! Not only does waiting too long let her know that she’s on your mind, but it also keeps you on her mind too.
The same goes for responding to her texts. Don’t worry about waiting the same length of time to respond that she did. Text her back when it works best for you and don’t worry about playing the waiting game. It’s not worth obsessing over. And it can take all the fun out of texting.
Mistake #6: Sending super long texts is a huge mistake men make when texting women
Texting a woman is definitely an art form. Most guys know they need to write more than “how’s it going?” to get a conversation started, but make sure you don’t go overboard. You’re not writing a novel, after all. And, if she sees huge blocks of text, she’ll probably just scan over them quickly — or won’t read them at all.
So keep your texts engaging and no more than three or four lines until you get to know each other better. The only exception to the rule is if the conversation actually calls for a longer response. If your relationship has escalated to the point where you actually have that much to say to each other, stop texting and call her. It will create a better connection and help build the attraction between you.
If you’re making any of these mistakes when texting, it’s time to up your game. Knowing what not to do and say can have a huge impact on your success with women.
So, next time you get the number of a hot woman, you can text her with confidence — and that’s something she’ll find very attractive. Now get to texting!