Rewind to 30 years ago and the best way to know if a girl is into you is by actually going out on a date or maybe talking on the phone. It's pretty forward and not a lot of guys get to that stage unless they've had a lot of interactions with a girl. These days, however, texting has made flirting so much easier. You can learn so much about someone by texting and you can easily spot the signs she likes you over text.
And because we text now more than ever, it’s important that you understand the rules of the texting game. Especially, how to tell if a girl likes you or not (and flip that later to your favor)…
I get a lot of texting questions from my clients and friends:
How can I tell if my crush likes me over text?
Is she flirting or is she just being nice?
If she texts me first, is she interested?
The truth is, you can’t tell from just one chat conversation. There are many obvious and subtle signs a girl likes you over text (or not), and you must combine at least a handful of them before judging her intentions.
And because I’m feeling lovely today, I decided to make you this definitive guide of 21 signs that will definitely tell you if a girl likes you through text or not. Here they are based on subtlety:
The obvious signs that girls like you over text
Not all texts are created equal. Some may hint I’m interested while others may scream “put a ring on my finger” at you. Some girls tend to also be more subtle and anxious about showing their feelings. However, from my experience, these are the most obvious signs that a girl likes you through text…
Sign 1: She ALWAYS texts first
Not a day goes by without her texting you… if that’s your case over a month or so, then the girl is into you.
The only exception to this rule is if you’ve already established a platonic relationship and she has already put you in the friend zone. If that’s the case, then you need to step down and shake things a little and come back to her a different man. You can also try to forget about her and stop texting her. That may get her to chase you.
Sign 2: She texts as soon as you’re online
Does she text the moment she sees you online? If yes, then you should be happy. I know it can be a burden when a girl texts this often, but she does it because she likes you. At the very least, she thinks chatting with you is fun, so you have your foot in the door.
So how do you reply? By knowing how to text her to keep her interest in you. It helps build rapport and ensure that she stays interested in you.
Sign 3: She still gives you shit tests
Men approach women – especially the beautiful ones – all day, every day. Just ask any girl how many guys slide into her DMs each month and the answer will be in the 10s (and that’s the bare minimum).
To shut down the noise, women designed a way to filter men out and keep only the alphas in….. This filter is what we call a “shit test.”
- “You’re too short”
- “Are you hitting on me?”
- What makes you think you’re in my league?
If you stumble, stutter or qualify yourself, then you’re out and she saves her time for someone better.
However, there’s one good thing about shit tests that most men don’t see which is…
Women don’t normally shit-test men they don’t like. They don’t shit-test kids, seniors or other women.
Actually, if you cold-approach a woman with a shaky voice she’s more likely to give you pity than a shit test (or give you the ultimate, “I have a boyfriend” shit test.)
So, take it as a compliment if a girl is shit testing you over text, and remember that she could’ve given you silence but she didn’t. A shit test simply means that the game is ON.
Sign 4: She sends lots of emojis (the more the bigger the better)
Women want to feel a range of emotions when they're with a guy. They like a man who makes them feel a wide range of emotions (anger, fear, joy, hate, excitement, jealousy, etc). So you should be happy when she uses a lot of emojis because it means you’re delivering and she loves it.
Sign 5: Text ratio is way out of proportion (double and triple texting)
How to tell if your crush likes you over text? If she texts you in blocks (unless she whines about her unfaithful boyfriend, for sure). Can you guess who’s more invested in this conversation?
If she double or triple texts you (or as in my example, texts at a 5:1 ratio) then you’ve spiked her emotions and she’s interested in you (and possibly likes you).
Naturally, you'll also want to reciprocate by being as enthusiastic about texting as she is. To do this, you might want to check out some of the topics to talk about over text to keep her interested. That way, you'll never run out of fun things to talk about!
Sign 6: One telltale sign she likes you over text is when she asks if you miss her
My go-to sign to tell if a girl loves you over text is if she bluntly asks if you miss her. If she wants to hear “I missed you” from you, then she’s probably into you and wants something more. Also, if she asks if you miss other girls (like an ex or someone you had a crush on) then she’s probably testing the waters for a potential rival.
Sign 7: She qualifies you and/or herself
If a girl continuously justifies herself or tries to prove that she’s your type then she probably likes you. For instance, if you say “I like tall girls,” who do you think qualifies themselves more…
And girl A says: “Ok, cool,” while girl B says: “But short girls are cuter btw.”
Who do you think qualifies herself more to be with you?
Sign 8: Laughs a lot
Similar to the emojis… if she laughs a lot or compliments your sense of humor then she might be interested in you. Girls usually appreciate humor because it tells their brain – on a deeper level – you’re creative and can handle difficult situations in the future (in case she wants to be in a relationship with you).
Sign 9: Replies right away
Replying right away doesn’t mean she likes you. It just so happens that she’s online, saw your text and chose to reply. However, if she does it frequently, then it can mean that she can’t wait to hear from you, which is a very good thing.
Sign 10: She complains she’s not getting your attention
“Why are you always busy?” is what some girls say when they like you and there’s a reason behind this.
The type of man that women want (and the man you should be) is a busy, successful man who has a lot going on in his life and doesn't want to spend all day just texting someone. These men don’t usually reply to every text, not because they’re mean, but because they’re busy. When a woman who likes you notices that – and likes it – she will begin to complain that she’s not getting enough attention. Just like the text below…
The subtler signs she likes you over text
Of course, not all girls want to be upfront that they're into you. Many of them are either too shy or they're conditioned to believe that girls should always be super subtle when they're into someone. Here are some of the signs she likes you over text that you might be missing.
Sign 11: She asks for your Instagram (sometimes Facebook)
If she asks for your Instagram handle, then she wants to lowkey check out your profile, which isn’t a bad thing. You will usually get this when you’ve spent some time talking, maybe spiked her emotions a little but not enough to make her give you her number. But because she still likes you (and has already put work into the conversation), then she may ask for your Instagram to justify her decision.
Sign 12: She sends you her pictures (without even asking)
Is she flirting over text? Maybe… Some girls flirt for fun and attention. However, if she sends you photos without you asking then it’s definitely not a sign she doesn’t like you.
I went out with a girl and couldn’t kiss or reel her in due to bad logistics. However, during the date, I teased her a little about her toenails and un-matching shoes, and guess what? The next day she was sending me a foot selfie with new shoes and matching toenails (foot fetish fans be like WOW).
Anyway, if the girl likes you she will send over her photos even if you don’t ask. It’s even better if she takes the photo just for you (like a mirror selfie, or asking for your opinion about something she just bought, or as in the previous example, a foot selfie).
Sign 13: She prefers voice over text messages
Text is the least intimate form of interaction between men and women. So, if she likes voice messages over text and you can keep the conversation going then there’s a chance she likes you. Try to focus on her tone to test whether she likes you or she's just too lazy to type her message. Does she whisper, giggle a lot or soften her voice in her messages? All these can be signs she’s into you.
Sign 14: One of the key signs she likes you over text is when she makes plans with you
Is she the one instigating plans? That can be a good sign she’s into you, especially when she suggests weekend plans. Why? Because weekends are usually for relationships and potential dates, so that message wouldn't have been sent to you if she’s already seeing someone else.
Sign 15: She asks a lot about your personal life
If she asks some family questions like checking on your mom or pregnant sister, then she may like you (especially if she remembers some family trivia that you mentioned). Also, if she asks about your relationship status, or asks “how’s your ex (or a crush)?”, then it’s also a good sign she likes you.
Sign 16: She picks up the conversation when it’s dead
An easy way to make a girl invested in a conversation is to give her statements instead of questions, then wait to see if she asks more questions or not. If she’s the one who assumes the burden of the conversation and puts work to get the ball rolling then she can be very interested in you.
Sign 17: She’s flexible with your plans
If she wants to meet on Friday but you’re only available Sunday, does she compromise and change her plans for you or does she tell you to take it or leave it? If she’s willing to go out of her way (and maybe ditch her friends for you), then she’s into you.
Sign 18: She gets angry at you
Girls are the masters of hiding resentment and won’t bother expressing anger if they don’t want anything from you. Responding with anger is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when texting a girl! You can always turn a bad response over text, but you can never turn silence.
Telling you that she’s mad at you is her way of saying that things need to be patched (or she’s just teasing you). Both ways are much better than silence or not bothering to argue with you.
Sign 19: She’s excited to see you
If she can’t hide her excitement when you ask her out, then there’s a chance she’s highly interested in you. With this girl, we’ve been chatting for a while (got her number from Bumble) and when I asked her out she responded right away despite the silly typo that I made.
Sign 20: She calls your name (not hey or you)
It’s more intimate when she starts the conversation with your name instead of “hey.” Watch for these subtle clues. It could mean she's testing out how it feels to say your name because she'll be saying it a lot more often.
Sign 21: She talks about her family and inner circle
There are many reasons why girls talk about their family or friends. Some are just venting while others are referring to what you’re about to sign up to. Either way, if she shares her intimate secrets with you then it’s definitely a message that says I like you… As a lover or as a friend? We still don’t know. You have to check for other complementary signs.
Signs she likes you over text: a final note
Keep in mind that not all girls text the same way. Some use more flirtatious language even if they just want to be friends. Others seem cold and aloof, but they're actually waiting for you to give hints that you like them first. In any case, there's no one single sign that will tell you that she is indeed into you. You have to combine a handful of signs that we mentioned above to know for sure.
But if all else fails and you're just really bad at reading signs, you could start flirting with her over text. This will put the ball in her court and maybe reveal if she's really into you or not. Who knows, maybe she's not giving you the right signs because she's just not getting the signs from you.
And once you've set your first date, it's time to know how to text a girl before your date. These tips will help you keep your nerves in check while also making sure the spark is alive.