How to Flirt with a Woman Over Text (With Examples of What to Say)

She's texting someone who knows how to flirt with women over text

If you're the type of guy who has no idea how to flirt with women over text, you're not alone. So many guys miss their chance with the woman of their dreams because they don't know what to say over text. Some guys end up in the endless cycle of small talk while others escalate way too soon.

So I'll give you several examples of actual texts you can use today. Use the examples from this article if you like or change it up a bit to match your style. I guarantee that the woman you’re flirting with will love it.

I’ll also be explaining the theories behind why these example messages are so effective, so you’re able to come up with our own flirtatious messages in the future.

How Every Guy Should Be Flirting With Woman Over Text

Now before we start, I want to share with you the golden rule of messaging women. Before you press send, ask yourself: "What is the goal here?’

Now, honestly, if you’re texting a woman you’re attracted to, your goal should be to meet her in person. So before you send that message, ask yourself whether that message is getting you closer towards that goal of meeting up. If it’s not, it’s probably a bad message to send.

A lot of guys get in the habit of sending messages that aren’t leading towards a date. They’re making small talk (though some text topics can be flirty). They’re asking “how was your day?” Or they're talking about their day at work. Honestly, these messages aren’t increasing your chances of getting her to meet you.

Yes, you need to get to know each other a bit, but most guys spend way too long doing this over text. The best way to get to know each other is by meeting in real life. So you want to move the conversation towards a meet-up at all times.

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This is especially true when you want to flirt over text with a woman you like but she's often busy. She has a lot going on in her life. Perhaps she has a career that takes up a lot of her mental bandwidth or she has a busy social calendar.

They’re not going to want to be glued to their phone sending messages back and forth for days and weeks like a 19-year-old college student might be. Women in their 20s or older would rather cut to the chase. They think differently, and it’s sometimes harder (though more rewarding) to flirt with them over text.

If some other dude is intelligent enough to invite her out quickly rather than boring her with pointless small talk, then there’s a chance that he’s going to win her over before you even get a chance to meet her. It’s not nice to think about, but that’s the way modern dating works, especially with time-pressed professional women.

The Key Steps To Flirting Over Text

Okay, so now you have your goal in mind, how do you flirt with a woman over text? What should you say exactly? And how should you keep up the conversation to keep it interesting?

Tip #1 - Tease her

Teasing is an underrated part of flirting with girls. But when done properly, it is a good way to make the conversation more fun and playful. It also communicates that you’re an easy-going guy who isn’t taking the conversation too seriously.

Men and women; we playfully tease people we are close to. Even older women flirt like this when they're feeling a little playful. It’s part of how we show we’re comfortable around that person.

But when we do not tease? When we think the other person is “above” us. When we’re afraid of messing up. Or when we are not comfortable around someone. You don’t want to communicate any of these things to a woman, so I’d recommend taking every opportunity you can to playfully tease her over text. Here are some examples:

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A push-pull message

Flirting with a woman over text requires a little pushing and pulling. You push her away and reel her back in subtly. Here are some examples:

When she says something funny: “and that’s why you’re my third favorite woman to text.”

When she sends you a picture: “wow, that’s the cutest picture I’ve seen in the last 10 minutes”

Any compliment paired with a slight push is a good way to tease.


When she tells you what she’s up to and it’s quite boring: “Wow, I never knew you were so wild!”

If she teases you: “I can't do this anymore...we're breaking up. You're too much trouble."

Often, this will cause her to reply to defend herself and try to get on your good side.


“I bet you could drink me under the table.” 

“I am guessing you’re the kind of woman who likes unique and adventurous dates.”

These are good because they are leading towards a potential date. Remember, your ultimate goal is to meet her (and knowing how to build up the texting before your first date).

One last tip on teasing. It’s usually a good idea to add some smiley emojis at the end of your teases, just to make it more obvious that you’re kidding. Remember, the vibe of a text message can sometimes get lost in translation because she can’t hear your voice or see your face. Emojis help to communicate that playful vibe you’re going for.

Tip #2 - Use nicknames

These can help transform a run-of-the-mill text message into a flirty one. Even when you're flirting with an older woman, you can definitely spark some attraction by using nicknames or pet names. Check out these examples:

"What are you up to this weekend, missy?"

"Hey troublemaker, looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"OK cutie, 7 p.m. works for me." 

These nicknames add a little bit of spice to an otherwise boring text, and you’ll have to send these sometimes when you’re organizing the best time and date to meet her.

Just keep in mind that you should probably start with "tamer" nicknames if you're just getting to know her. Calling her "babe," "sexy" or "honey buns" when you've just started texting is one of the biggest texting mistakes you can make.

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Tip #3 - When flirting with a woman over text, use pictures and videos

We’re in the modern age, so I’m sure you have a phone that’s capable of sending pictures, videos or voice messages. So why not make the most of that?

Pictures and videos are far more engaging than words on a screen and they help a woman get to know you better while keeping the text conversation going! Also, it’s the best way to show a woman all the exciting things you’re hopefully getting up to when she’s not around. This is a great way to open or reinitiate a conversation. Just take a quick snap of some cool activity you’re doing and wait for her to respond.

If you can send a flirty video or voice message using a deep masculine voice, even better!

Flirting with a woman over text isn't that hard when you know how to set a mood. Be a little flirty, exaggerate a bit and send her the occasional photo. And most importantly, while you're flirting, make sure that you keep the end goal in mind: getting her to meet up with you ASAP!

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