If you’re tired of leaving the bar, party, coffee shop — any venue, really — without the girl you’ve been chatting up, then you’ve come to the right place. We’re here to help you learn how to get the girl every single time.
You may have been told how important it is to look your best and be confident. You may even know exactly how to approach a girl and pique her interest. All of that is well and good, but if you can’t keep her attention on you, you’ll strike out more times than not.
As important as it is to ask questions and show an interest in her life, you need to be able to use your question or her answer to jumpstart a truly captivating discussion. To do this well, you have to spin an interesting story.
Most men who are successful with women excel at telling a good story. When done right, storytelling takes a conversation from dull to dazzling in seconds and can leave women hanging off of your every word.
Unfortunately, it’s not a skill that comes naturally to many of us. Recounting something that happened to you, even if it was truly hilarious at the time, can still fall flat if you don’t know how to relate the experience effectively. And, instead of having a woman shrieking in laughter, you receive a polite laugh or a forced smile.
Storytelling truly is an art. It has all of the basics: structure, characters, setting and plot. But above that, it hooks people in right away. It not only captures attention, but it also creates an emotional response and leaves listeners wanting more.
Being a good storyteller isn’t as hard as you might think. Like anything else, it’s a skill you can develop with practice and perseverance. Practice on your friends, parents, siblings or anyone else who is willing to listen. The more you do it, the more natural it will become.
If you’re ready to dive in, let’s take a look at the elements of a good story.
It might seem kind of odd to talk about the end of a story before discussing the beginning but, the ending is the most critical part of any good tale. And you need to know what it is and how you’ll present it before uttering a single word.
Not knowing where you’re taking your story is like trying to tell a joke without knowing the punch line. It’s totally ineffective and results in blank looks and confusion from your listeners.
Remember, the ending of any good tale elicits a reaction: laughter if your story is funny or a chorus of “awwww” if it’s cute. If your story doesn’t evoke any emotion, you either didn’t tell it well or it was a story too boring to tell. Either way, it’s time to rethink your story — or come up with a new one.
Every good story starts with a seamless transition. You can’t just blurt out your tale or interrupt the flow of a conversation. For a story to be received well, it needs to flow smoothly.
Does that mean you need to wait around for a convenient opening? That could literally take all night.
Instead, become a master of transition. Whether you take something someone else said as a springboard into your tale or you create the opening yourself, it must be done naturally and without any noticeable effort on your part.
Don’t worry, that’s not as hard as it sounds. Here are some good lead-ins to kick-off your story:
You can also use your surroundings for a lead into your story. Let’s say you're at a bar and are chatting with a group of people, including a woman you’d like to impress. You have a funny anecdote to tell about what happened to you and your brother on your last vacation, but need a way to start your tale. You can use a person in the bar (that no one knows) as your lead-in.
“Hey, have you noticed that guy over there trying to hit on every woman in the room? I met a guy just like that when my brother and I went to Mexico last winter ….”
Once you have some good transitions up your sleeve, you’ll be well on your way to spinning a good yarn.
Designed to capture listeners’ interest, the hook is the part of your story that reels people in. For any hook to be truly effective, it needs to be delivered early in your narrative.
If, for instance, you’re recounting a near-death experience, don’t wait until the end to say that you were almost hit by a bus or that you survived a bad rock climbing accident. Get that out there right away.
“Have you ever had your life flash before your eyes? I always thought it was just a line you hear in movies but after having a near-death experience while rock climbing, I can tell you, it definitely happened to me...”
This is a lead-in that’s going to have people begging for details as opposed to something like this:
“Have you ever been rock climbing? I love it. Actually, my buddy and I were rock climbing and it was a really nice day, so we never even thought to check the weather forecast. Turns out that was a big mistake because it started storming while we were in the middle of our climb and everything got really slippery. Anyway, I was trying to adjust my equipment and lost my footing. I tried to grab onto something but it was too late. I started falling…”
Do you see the difference? One lead-in hooks listeners immediately and the other takes forever to get to the point. So tease your listeners with a juicy detail upfront and then leave them in suspense as you tell your tale.
Women want to know more than just the facts, so don’t be afraid to describe what something looked like or how you felt.
We’re not saying you should ramble on and on (we’ll talk more about that in a minute), but adding in some descriptive language keeps women engaged. This allows them to create a picture in their own minds of your experience, enabling them to connect with your story emotionally.
For instance, if you’re telling a woman about a trip you took to Ireland, adding in descriptive details about the castle you toured or what it was like watching the sunset at the Giant’s Causeway will paint a vivid picture in her mind. Be sure to use lots of adjectives and talk about how these sites made you feel.
No matter how interesting your story, if it goes on and on and on, your listeners are going to lose interest.
If your story lasts more than a few minutes, it’s way too long and you need to do some major editing. Try writing it down, just like you’d tell it, and then trim out unnecessary or less interesting details until you can relate your story in two minutes or less.
Practice is also key to a smooth delivery. You can practice on friends or even in the mirror. This will help you to find the right rhythm for your story — you don’t want to tell it too fast or too slow. Once you have your story pared down and a good pace established, you’ll be ready to start impressing the ladies with your storytelling talents.