Women aren’t really that hard to understand, but unfortunately, many men can’t quite seem to figure them out. When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, some guys tend to have it all wrong.
Of course, what’s alluring to one woman might turn another off. That being said, some qualities are more universally attractive than others. So, what attracts women to men? I’ve compiled five things you might be missing––and I’ll tell you now that playing hard to get isn’t one.
What Attracts Women To Men
If you’re looking to date with a woman––or just get laid––you might be stuck on the best approach.
Some men are told to present an aloof or standoffish attitude toward women. This advice is outdated, and ultimately, ineffective. In general, women want to be around men who want to be around them. Do you make friends by coming off as cold and indifferent? Nope. And you won’t get a girlfriend with that approach, either.
If you really want to know what attracts women to men? I’m happy to tell you it’s a lot less complicated than you may think. Luring a woman doesn’t require you to play any mind games or become some sort of pickup artist.
More than anything else, it’s about being a good person and having your life together. I realize this might sound cheesy, but trust me, it’s what women want. Without further ado, here are five fundamental things that women find attractive in men.
1. Good energy
Have you ever encountered someone, man or woman, who exudes amazing energy? This person might have a magnetic aura about them––a vibe combined of confidence, optimism and a generally great attitude.
Women like men with good energy. This doesn’t mean you have to be extroverted or an alpha male if that’s not you. But it does mean that you should present a positive demeanor. I don’t recommend faking positivity. However, you might be surprised how differently people react to you when you maintain a brighter outlook.
You know how someone else’s bad mood can put you into a funk? Well, a person with great energy can also uplift the people around them. Women want to be around men who lift them up and make them feel good. They want a man who can give a sincere and uplifting compliment. Simply put, it makes life more enjoyable.
In psychology, the “halo effect” is when the initial impression you make on a person influences their overall, ongoing perception. For example, let’s say you radiate a positive presence the first time you meet a woman. The good energy you give off will mold her impression of you. This means she’ll be more likely to view you as a smart, attractive human in all aspects of your life.
Another thing that virtually all women find appealing in men is ambition. This includes goals, aspirations and a drive to get things done.
In addition to having good energy, you should have a sense of direction. And I’m not talking about being able to navigate roads without a map. In this context, a sense of direction means you know where you want to go in life.
You don’t have to have all your goals met or be a career man, necessarily. But if you’re dawdling through life without a care for the future, many women won’t want to get involved.
Maybe your ambitions involve getting your bachelor’s or master’s degree within the next few years. Or perhaps you plan to buy a house, travel the world, run a marathon or get a promotion. I’m not here to tell you what your aspirations should be. All I’m saying is that ambition is what attracts women to men.
What are you passionate about? What gets you up in the morning? Think about the things that drive you, and develop some attainable goals.
3. A sense of humor
According to research by the University of Kansas, women are more likely to want men who make them laugh. When it comes to things women find most attractive in men, a sense of humor is pretty self-explanatory.
On the other hand, not everyone is inherently funny and trying to be funny when you're not can make meeting women a lot harder than it should be.. If making people laugh isn’t your forte, don’t sweat it. You can be good at banter, flirting and playful teasing, all of which can make women giggle and blush.
It’s OK if you’re not the funniest person in the room. The point is to not take yourself or life too seriously.
Of course, earnestness is an excellent quality to have when serious situations arise. And yet, when you take yourself too seriously, women might not think you’re very fun to be around. It’s all about lightheartedness and the ability to see the humor in things.
4. Optimal health
A study conducted by the University of California, Los Angeles had women view images of shirtless men. Then they were asked to select pictures of those they thought would make the best romantic partners. Unsurprisingly, the women polled preferred men with more muscular physiques.
Both men and women are drawn to fit people who maintain optimal health––it’s part of our biology. This is true whether men want to get a girlfriend or just have casual fun. They are more attracted to women who look like they could produce healthy offspring. And the same goes for women.
This doesn’t mean you have to be the thinnest person, have a perfect body or win an iron man competition. For the most part, it means you should take care of your physical self.
If you’re typically more of a couch potato, consider going on daily walks or jogging a few times a week before you woo a woman. You might also try lifting weights a couple of times a week or taking a strength-training class. With exercise, I suggest trying a few things until you find something you like. That way, you’ll be more inclined to stick with it.
Optimal health also includes maintaining good nutrition, mental health and hygiene. So, try to eat wholesome foods, address any psychological setbacks, and uphold a level of cleanliness.
You don’t have to be a perfect specimen to be in optimal health. And on the same token, your health doesn’t have to be perfect. Just try to make healthy choices so you look and feel your best.
The way I look at it? If you can’t take care of yourself, how can you take care of a woman? I mean, yes, it’s now, and independent women don’t need to be taken care of––but you catch my drift. You’re not ready to be in a relationship until you’re awesome on your own.
5. What attracts women to men the most? Independence
Speaking of being independent, women tend to be drawn to self-sufficient men. Independence means you maintain a level of autonomy and don’t seek validation from others.
To be sure, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to impress your girlfriend. Also, if you get into a serious relationship, you may end up relying on one another for various things. Having said that, when you pursue a woman, your need for independence doesn’t go out the window.
This may sound pessimistic, but you should be in a place where you’d be OK if your relationship ends tomorrow. If breaking up means your life would crumble, you may need to work on being a little more independent.
Neediness can be pretty unattractive to women. And what’s the opposite of neediness? Independence.
When you date a woman, you should enhance each other’s lives. However, if you need each other, it might be a relationship red flag. Not only that, but it can be disastrous if you break up.
So, how can you be independent? Even if you have a very active dating life, you should keep up with your own hobbies. Also, make sure to see your friends and focus on doing things just for yourself.
If you love hiking and start dating a woman who despises the activity, it doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. Believe it or not, your varied interests can be a good thing! When you spend time doing things apart, you’ll maintain a healthy level of independence. Also––bonus!––you’ll be less likely to grow sick of each other.
What Attracts Women To Men Is More Simple Than You May Think
What attracts women to men is a somewhat complex topic. But certain personality traits and qualities look good on virtually everyone.
Basically, you’ll lure in the opposite sex if you’re a catch. While many guys assume this means being rich or extremely good-looking, it’s not necessarily true.
For a lot of women, a catch will have good energy, ambition, a sense of humor, optimal health and independence. They’re looking for someone who’s a pleasure to be around, someone who makes their life better.
Whether you have all these qualities or not, you should always be considering how you enhance a woman’s experience. If you don’t inspire each other and improve each other’s lives, then what’s the point?