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What Men Can Do To Be Irresistible To Women (That Aren't Out Of Your Control)

He knows how to be irresistible to women and he's using it to attract her

All men want to learn how to be irresistible to women but very few can actually do it. It takes a whole lot of work to become the man men want to be and women want to sleep with, but it's totally worth it and not really a mystery.

Now you might be thinking that being irresistible to a woman is a matter of knowing what this particular woman wants. Some women like guys who dress a certain way or talk about certain topics while others are focused on a man's sense of humor or age. Despite all this, there are still some pretty universal traits that nearly ALL women like. And if not all women like them, then the majority of the ones you meet will likely find them hard to resist!

Now anyone can be irresistible to women with some patience. As I said, it takes effort, but with the right plan, you can transform your dating life 180 degrees in six months or less. Here's how:

How to Be More Irresistible to Women

The following are the only traits you'll need to make yourself irresistible to her. Some are easy to have, while others may take some time to build. But again, all are attainable with the right approach.

Being relaxed around women (and in tough situations)

At some point in my life, I hired a dating coach to show me how to approach women. The plan was that we would go out twice a week for 12 weeks straight, and everything after that will be chitty chitty bang bang.

But that's not what happened. My results were abysmal AT BEST.

I sucked BIG time. Each time I walked up to a girl to say I felt shaky, nervous, and stuck. His quick fix was that I should approach more, which made sense at the time, but it never worked. I'm a smooth talker, I'd previously dated hot girls who gave me positive feedback. But each time I tried to talk to hot girls on busy streets my tongue gets tied, my chest goes heavy and I'm almost stuttering.

And the more I worried about my anxiety, the stronger it got. It's like a vicious cycle: Talking to women made me anxious and knowing that I'm anxious made me even more anxious!

Approaching women felt like a chore to me so I quit for a whole year.

Then one day I met a friend who used to have the same problem but now doesn't. He said my problem was resisting the anxiety instead of embracing it. He then advised me to search YouTube for something called "releasing mediation" so I can learn how to relax around women and release any unwanted tension. It helped dispel the buildup of stress as I'm approaching women, and this helped me be more relaxed when I got to talk to them.

It was a game-changer.

I was approaching women left and right saying the exact same things I said before. But my energy was more relaxed and much less tense.

I was floating like a butterfly and scoring numbers like a bee (sorry Ali). And I learned that to make yourself irresistible to women you must learn how to control your energy and be relaxed around them. You can have the best pickup line in the world, but it still won't matter if the energy behind it isn't correct. Relaxation is the key, and you must learn it if you want to be irresistible to women.

Taking good care of your looks

This doesn't necessarily mean six-packs and a jaw so sharp you can cut an apple with it. These features matter and make no mistake, you should strive to get them. But looks aren't just about being fit. It includes your fitness level, style, smell, teeth, grooming habits, and body language. Anything that makes you more attractive than the next guy is good-looking.

To start, just aim for working out. No need to get super fit as some dad bods are attractive to women. Instead, any sort of physical activity that tones your muscles and gives you energy will help. Also, don't forget that gyms are often packed with loads of hot women and if you stick to one long enough you'll be like the skilled fisherman in a pool of sexy fish.

Next, work on grooming. Go to an actual hairstylist and ask for a haircut that's both flattering and easy to maintain. Avoid the hairstyles women hate. Then work on incorporating some hygienic habits: brush your teeth properly, shower regularly, wear only clean clothes, etc.

Lastly, it's all about fashion. We're not talking couture here because you don't need Gucci belts to be irresistible to women. I'm talking about choosing clothes that flatter your body type and skin tone. When in doubt, a crisp white button-down shirt with the sleeves folded up always works!

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Respect and high status

I hear so many guys say, "It's easy to succeed with women when you got the looks." That's correct but only to a degree. I've seen guys who can wear a Superman suit better than Henry Cavill but lose their mind around hot women and hung out with average-looking dudes who chase girls with no suave whatsoever.

One of my best friends is nowhere close to your typical Chad but still attracts some of the hottest women a man can ever see. He's 5'5", slightly bald, and always carries around 10 or sometimes 20 extra pounds. But he has success, status, style, and a great set of social skills, and he still dates models.

Believing it's all about looks is like shooting yourself in the foot.

So if you don't have the looks, work on what you can change. Get better at talking to people by actually talking to people. Surround yourself with more intelligent people who are secure and successful in life. See (and I mean really SEE) what it is about you that you don't like whether it takes therapy, a change of scenery, a new job, or new friends. Make these changes for yourself first and foremost and eventually, it will improve the way women see you.

Being bold

Can you go for the kiss on the first date, stop girls if they cross the line, tell a crush that you like her, and graciously accept being friend-zoned?

So many men these days are terrified of offending a woman or saying something she doesn't like. They're so scared of NOT being liked that women end up NOT liking them. The irony.

The thing is, women appreciate a man with conviction, confidence, and honesty. They want a man who knows what he wants and goes for it. Men who ask, "well, what do you want?" or say, "you decide" won't get you points with women!

You're a man with options

Want to know how to be irresistible to women? Show them that you have options.

That doesn't mean you cheat on her with her bestie. It simply means that women find the man irresistible when other women pay attention to him. That's why:

  • Women like celebrities
  • Guys get sudden attention the moment they wear a wedding/engagement ring
  • A female wingman can get you more women than a male friend who's good with women

Women want a man who chooses them over other women instead of choosing them because they have no one else.

I remember when a friend once told me how pissed off his girlfriend was when he told her she was his first. She felt like she was left with a rotten tomato that other women don't wanna be with. Surprisingly though she was all over him a year later after she found out that he cheated on her with two women.

That doesn't mean you should cheat. Just understand that women want to be with men who are also attractive to other women (whether romantically or not). That's called pre-selection, and it's a great way to get more women to want to be with you.

Learn how to be irresistible to women by having unique skills

Okay, so let's say you're an absolutely average guy. You look okay, but you're not the most handsome. You have an okay job, but it's not the highest-paid. You have some good social skills, but there's room for improvement. How can you stand out?

By having unique skills that women find attractive.

No need to shell out money and take classes for these. You can learn these skills through YouTube or through friends. Examples of unique skills women love include:

  • knowing another language
  • dancing (just a few basic steps and some rhythm works wonders)
  • art ("paint me like one of your French girls")
  • music (just a few songs to sweep her off her feet)
  • cooking (no woman can resist a man who can cook her a good meal)

Doing manly stuff

If you don't believe being macho wins you women, then take a look at this screenshot.

Become more irresistible to women by doing manly stuff

This Spanish hottie was super cold until I explained to her what three years of practicing aikido can do.

But why?

As much as they want equality, women want to be with manly men. She will ask for equal pay raise - which is her right - and whine that Megan Rapinoe doesn't make as much as Messi and Ronaldo until her car breaks down, the chimney botches or Hitler invades Warsaw. That's when she'll step aside for Mr. Muscles.

I'm not mocking women but they're not as strong as men.

Yes, they can push children from between their legs and live longer than men, but all studies say that men are stronger.

Women know this, and that's why they want to be with a strong, dominant man who can do manly things. This means that anything you can add to your looks or personality that will make you look more macho will subsequently make you irresistible to women. Wide shoulders, doing martial arts, knowing how to change a tire or how to use a gun. All these things will increase your score with the ladies.

Being a good listener

Being a good listener makes you automatically appear non-needy and relaxed. And as I said earlier, a relaxed, non-needy man is irresistible to women. A man who can put his ego and neediness aside and listens to a woman is a man women like to be with. Also, there are many perks to being a good listener:

  • She can vent to you without fearing your reaction. Let her vent. Sometimes women don't want you to solve their problems because they just want to let it all out.
  • You remember things about her. Remember, listening isn't just about hearing. It's about keeping important info in mind.
  • She'll trust you. The more a woman talks to you, the more she'll feel closer to you. And if you listen to what she says without judgment, she'll be more likely to trust you.

You can be irresistible to women by having a killer sense of humor

We all get old. You can peak at a certain age when it comes to looks and it's all downhill from there. But that shouldn't make you feel hopeless. Because while looks fade over time, a sense of humor gets better with age. It's like a fine wine.

Having a great sense of humor is one step to being irresistible to a woman. After all, who doesn't like to laugh?

Naturally, different people have different definitions of humor. So you shouldn't base yours off of the woman you want to attract. Instead, find things that make you laugh and just run with them. Insert fun movie references into conversations or use comedians as inspiration for how to tell funny, compelling stories.

A sense of humor isn't something you learn in a week. It's something you build with time but it will help you out a lot, especially to make your dates more fun. So I suggest you start now.

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Being a leader (at least you can lead when necessary)

Women want a guy who can lead but it doesn't necessarily mean being aggressive and dominant.

Instead, take the lead, let your woman know she's safe around you and can depend on you. But if it doesn't include drinking two martinis on dinner and bench pressing 700 lb then don't do it. Women will find you irresistible if you have clear rules and stick to them. But whatever those rules are is up to you.

Become good at making money

Dedicate six months to a year to something that brings you money and it will improve your dating life for ten years ahead. Money may not be enough to keep a woman around but look at what it can get you: good coaching, healthy food, nice trips, social proof, tranquility, dating coaches and bootcamps, nice clothes, and self-confidence. A confident homeless guy can still attract women, but not as many as a man with money.

You must learn how the female brain is wired to perceive attraction

There's a big gap between what women say is attractive and what they actually find attractive. That's why asking a woman for dating advice is often a big waste of time. It can take up to fifty articles to learn about the female psyche but you can start with these ones: 10 Reasons why you can't get a girlfriend, how to talk to any girl and get her interested in you, as well as The Rational Male book by Rollo Tomassi. They will clear so many misconceptions regards what women find attractive in men.

Women like social proof

The Social proof theory says basically says that "if he's good for them, it's good for me." Women think that if a guy is surrounded by other women consistently then he must have good mating qualities, and your job is to show her that you do. I was walking yesterday with my young sister and women were giving me the look just cause she's beautiful. So what should you do? Let your social media accounts speak for yourself. Your Instagram stories and photos should magnify your qualities.... do you work out, travel a lot, party with fun girls or even have cool friends and hobbies? The more you can show these things the more irresistible you will become to women.

Get slicker

Word skills matter. If you know how to crack a joke, tell a fun story and find humor in every dark situation then people will gravitate around you, especially women, because most people are boring and self-centered. Nothing will improve your humor more than a) improv classes, and b) watching a lot of comedy shows. Personally, I like Chris Rock and Mark Normand, but if you have other preferences, then learn from them too.


Women will be women, and a guy who takes good care of his body will always be appealing. Hit the gym at least three times a week and eat well. You can't imagine how 12 weeks of total dedication will make you irresistible to women.

How Men Women Can't Resist Treat Women 

Now you know what women GENERALLY want in a man. Now what should you do with this information if you have a specific woman in mind? Remember, all women are different and it would be hard for me to tell you how to be irresistible to a woman if I don't know who she is. But that's where you should start:

Know (and care) about what she wants

When you ask a woman, "What do you want in a man?" She might give you some vague answers: looks, humor, the ability to provide, stuff that I mentioned earlier. But short of asking, you need to pay attention to what she likes.

When you're around her, does she respond positively to your behavior? Does she laugh at certain jokes you tell? Or maybe she gives you a genuine smile when you do chivalric stuff like opening doors for her or offering to walk her home. Those things that she responds positively to will make you irresistible in her eyes.

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Respect her boundaries

Respect goes a long way. If you respect a woman, her attraction to you will increase tenfold. With that in mind, you should also respect her boundaries.

Does she want to pay for some dates so she doesn't feel like she owes you? Let her. Does she prefer to meet up with you and not let you know exactly where she lives? Respect that. Does she prefer not to kiss on the third date even if you've been dying to take her home? Respect her pace.

You can learn about her boundaries by teasing her a bit, but at the end of the day, if you accept that there are just some things she doesn't want to do, she will be grateful for that.

Live your own life without her (and let her live hers)

I know this sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. In any relationship, whether you've been dating a while or just getting to know each other, benefits from space. You don't want to incorporate her into every inch of your life because you want to reserve that for someone who has earned the privilege.

With that in mind, you want to reserve some aspects of your life for your own enjoyment. There are simply some things in your life that she doesn't need to meddle in: like your job, certain hobbies, your life goals.

When you show her that you're capable of being independent, it means you can stand on your own two feet without relying on your partner to make every decision for you. This will make you immensely more attractive. Just keep in mind that eventually, when you become serious with each other, you'll need to keep her in the loop, but the final decision about certain aspects of your life will always be down to you.


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