Having great conversation skills isn’t just important for your dating life. Learning how to keep a conversation going is one of the most crucial life skills you need to learn.
Unfortunately, plenty of men struggle with talking to women when meeting them and even more so when on a date. This often ruins their chances because women don’t want to be bored with awkward conversation.
To keep her from getting bored, I’ll show you how to make a conversation interesting in general. I’ll also explain how to keep the conversation going without running out of things to say.
By learning the tips and tricks below, you’ll become a great conversationalist in no time!
Making your conversations with women interesting requires several distinct yet equally vital components regardless if you are using a top quality hookup app (the ones we like) to communicate or just texting with a woman you met on the street:
2) Expression and Tonality
What you say is important, but it’s just one small part of the equation that makes your conversations unforgettable.
You can be talking about the deepest topics in the world. But if you’re monotonous and passionless, you won’t make a positive impression on the person you’re talking to. Your lack of passion may even be visible through your online persona.
It might not just be conversation dooming you. There are a number of pitfalls awaiting you if you don't know better. It's why we created a comprehensive dating course to teach you how to find, approach and attract women.
That’s why if you want to really leave a mark and engage the people you speak with, it’s important to take note of all the points above. I’ll explain each one in detail below, and then I’ll show you how to keep a conversation going with a girl as well.
If we’re talking about how to have interesting conversations in general, then passion is the key. That’s because there’s rarely anything as contagious as passion. And passionate people usually captivate and absorb others into their world.
You can be talking to a girl in a coffee shop about a topic that’s not even of any interest to the girl. But if you’re being genuinely passionate about something, it comes through in your words and the way you speak. She’ll then become absorbed by what you’re saying and become interested in what you’re talking about.
So how do you do that, exactly?
Well, have you ever talked about something that got you utterly lost in the moment?
It probably felt like the floodgates were open and you were “in the zone,” so to speak. Your words became loud and clear, your eyes had that gleam of complete confidence, and you probably became very emotional as well.
That’s real passion, and it’s how you should be talking to captivate the people around you. That’s how most successful public speakers talk.
If you’re able to talk that way about other topics and not just the ones you’re really interested in, you can get people to listen to you attentively. It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about something meaningful as ending world hunger or as mundane as grocery shopping. It’s your passion that draws them in.
Knowing this is very liberating because it means you can talk to women about pretty much anything. Even your dorkiest and geekiest hobbies aren’t off limits as long as you’re passionate about it.
Along with being passionate, the root of how to make a conversation interesting to women is conveying and expressing your emotions. And I’m not talking about technical details.
By that, I mean you should be describing how you feel when talking while also showing your emotions without getting too technical. That is unless she actually wants to talk about the technical aspects.
As an example, let’s say you really like motorcycles. You know them in and out, and you’re really passionate about building them, maintaining them and riding them.
Sure, some women will absolutely love that because motorcycles are cool, adventurous and there’s an element of danger involved. It’s the same with some women who like collecting stamps and building tractors, along with anything else you can think of. But a lot of women will be completely indifferent to your motorcycles simply because of taste and preference.
So, to make motorcycles interesting, talk about the emotions and not the technical things. If you start talking about the technical bits right away, her eyes might glaze over. That's when you know she's not paying attention to what you’re talking about anymore. This is very boring to most people and particularly unattractive to women.
Instead, talk about how riding a motorcycle feels. Talk about the dangers and the near-death experiences you face every time you ride. Express the thoughts that go through your mind and how the adrenaline in your veins feels when you’re going at 140 miles per hour.
Anything and everything that has to do with your topic and the emotions associated with it will be captivating to others. The key to making this work is enthusiasm.
The second part of how to have interesting conversations with women is your tone of voice as well as the expressions you make while speaking.
And I’m not just talking about facial expressions here but the gestures you make as well. Both are important for turning what would otherwise be a bland and emotionless speech into a fun and memorable one.
It’s a well-known idea that most of your communication is nonverbal. That’s why you should make sure you’re always expressive when you talk.
It will make you more popular with people in general, and women will pay more attention to what you say. In fact, research has found that people who use their hands while talking tend to be viewed as warm, agreeable and energetic.
On the flip side, being expressionless can cripple your ability to connect with women. It’s also pretty unsettling when someone lacks facial expressions completely.
So relax your face, and make sure you portray emotions with it when you speak. Facial expressions are really important for establishing proper intent with your words. And key in starting a conversation with a girl.
For example, you can be saying the exact same thing, but it’ll be understood in a completely different way depending on what your face shows.
This point is very important because if you want women to be interested in you and what you have to say, your words and expressions must be congruent.
If your facial expression, tonality and other nonverbal cues contradict each other, your words, as well as the intent behind them, will carry much less weight.
It’ll also often be confusing to women, and they’ll think you’re being weird or creepy. This huge contradiction between your words and your expressions will hinder your interactions with women severely.
Next, let’s talk about the tone of your voice. The tone of voice refers to the amount of stress or force applied to a word as well as the pitch.
If your voice is flat and there aren’t any inflections, you’ll be speaking in a monotone manner. This is exceptionally boring to most people. In addition, women will quickly lose interest in anything you have to say.
So make sure to vary your tonality and be expressive with it. Put inflections on the important things you want to say to make a bigger impact and to make your most important ideas stand out.
Also, especially when around women, make sure you don’t turn up your tone or your pitch at the ends of sentences. This is also known as a “seeking rapport” tonality, where you sound like you’re asking a question even if you’re just making a statement.
This is seen as very unattractive, and women won’t find what you say interesting as a result. Doing this makes you look like you’re unsure of yourself because it sounds like you’re always asking them something and seeking approval.
Instead, speak in a neutral tone most of the time and mix in some “breaking rapport” tonality only on appropriate occasions. For the rest of the time, let your tone and pitch go down as you end your sentences.
That way, you sound more authoritative and commanding.
People tend to listen to others who have this tone of voice and deem what they have to say as interesting and important. This is also a great trick to understanding how to keep a conversation going in general.
Just don’t overuse it or people will think you’re an arrogant ass.
Lastly, we come to the actual content of what you’re saying when you’re talking to women.
The general rule to making things fun is to talk to the girl you like about topics you're interested in. Just make sure you don’t get stuck entirely in small talk or having the conversation devolve into an interview.
Another huge mistake men make during conversations with women, besides being stuck in small talk, is making the conversation sound like an interview. It’s where you keep asking her question after question, rapid-fire style.
“Where are you from? What do you do? What did you study? What’s your favorite movie or song? What are you going to do next week?” and so on and so forth. That’s exceptionally boring, and women loathe this kind of conversation, especially in a romantic setting.
Instead, to make things interesting, ask questions that require complex answers that dig deeper into figuring out who she is as a person.
Ask questions that can’t be answered with just one word. Ask questions that require more thought put into them. This will help you both avoid small talk as you get to know her as a person, thus making things interesting. Questions like these often require elaborate answers which you can later follow up on. You can then reach increasingly more interesting topics of conversation.
This finally leads to how to keep conversations going with a girl in general.
The biggest issue men have when trying to keep their conversations with women going is running out of things to say.
To combat getting tongue-tied, lower your standards on what you think women want to hear from you. At the core of the issue lies the fact that men are often trying to think of “the perfect thing to say.”
Truth is, there are millions of things you can talk about with women. Pretty much anything that pops into your mind can be a great topic of conversation. With the above tips on how to make conversations interesting, you can talk about anything in a compelling way.
Oftentimes, when a guy meets a stunning woman, his brain short-circuits and he suddenly has the personality of a brass doorknob.
The same guys who can talk endlessly with their buddies about anything suddenly find themselves entirely speechless.
Well, it’s not because they abruptly ran out of words or topics. It’s because they started doubting themselves because they think this gorgeous woman may not be interested in what they have to say to her. They put a ridiculous amount of pressure on themselves trying to figure out what words to utter, and nothing comes out as a result.
That’s why the answer to not running out of things to say is to have faith in what you want to talk about. Clear your mind of all the useless clutter, especially thoughts of how hot she is, and be in the present moment. Remember: you can’t articulate your thoughts well if you’re stuck in your head too much.
Here are some actual techniques to make things easier.
First of all, ask questions that require some thought to answer.
This often means you should be asking questions starting with “why” instead of “what.” Although an occasional “what” isn’t bad either if she can’t answer with just a word or two.
For example, don’t ask what she wants to be when she finishes college but why she chose that path in life. And after asking what she’d do with a million dollars, add a followup question. Ask her why she’s going to buy you that Lamborghini and where you'll be going, with a sly smirk, of course.
Also, refrain from asking all the boring and cliché stuff she’s already heard from hundreds of other men. Instead, ask her questions that will let you know who she really is and what makes her tick.
“What keeps you up at night and why?”
“How big is your family and who do you get along with the most?”
“Do you consider yourself a sensitive person?”
“Would you consider yourself shy or wild or both?”
“What would you do with your life if you didn’t have to worry about money?”
“What is your idea of a perfect time?”
There are endless questions that you can ask women to keep the conversation going.
Use your imagination and preferably ask the things that are genuinely interesting to you. Not only will it keep an interesting conversation going, but you’ll be able to connect on a deeper level as you figure out how compatible you are.
Second, listen to her answers and tune in to the key phrases of interest.
Let’s say you asked her if anything interesting or weird happened to her in the past month.
She starts off by saying something like “Oh, I was walking my dog this one time and ran into a guy dressed as Elvis, carrying a guitar and blah blah . . .”
Whatever it is she told you, you can ask her to elaborate on that. But another point of interest in her story was the fact she was walking her dog.
When she’s done with her story, to keep the conversation going, you can talk about something interesting or weird that happened to you in return. Or you can ask her about her dog and pivot the conversation onto a completely different topic.
Ask her why she got a dog, what breed it is and what its personality is like. If you have a dog as well, comment on that and talk about its favorite toys and games as you ask her the same. Then follow up on her answers and keep looking out for more phrases of interest.
Basically, you can learn how to keep a conversation going forever with this simple trick. Because whenever someone’s talking, they’re always going to mention something that you can ask more questions about. You can also share your own experiences about the topic.
This involves jumping onto various topics freely as they come up. This helps to continue the conversation in a completely different direction on a whim.
For example, let’s say you ask her about her favorite music. As she talks about it, she mentions something that reminds you of your favorite movie or TV show. You can then talk about that. This then reminds you of your time in high school and how you hated that time you had to sit in detention for hours because you broke something or other. Then you ask her about her time in school, which reminds you of your first crush. Eventually, you might find yourselves talking about first loves, heartbreaks, and your philosophy on relationships.
The point is to not be judgmental about the things that come out of your mouth and latch onto topics as they come along.
The key to keeping a conversation going is not to always think of something witty, interesting, amusing or mindblowing to say. It’s to continue talking to her and learning about your different experiences and perspectives on things. That’s how to keep conversations going with a girl without being a try hard.
Now you know exactly how you can keep an interesting conversation with a woman you’d like to get to know better. With that in mind, you can spend less time worrying about conversing and instead focus on spotting signs she wants to talk to you.
As with anything, it takes a little bit of practice to get into the groove and incorporate the ideas above. But once you master the techniques, you’ll find that women will be more interested in what you have to say. This is sure to make them want to talk to you even more.