If you want to get to know a woman deeply, then you’ll need some deep topics to talk about. And in order to do that being a good conversationalist is a great start.
But getting to know someone intimately takes time. There’s no fast-track route and it can be tricky moving beyond surface-level chit-chat, let alone keeping her interested in a conversation of any topic.
Most women won’t reveal personal information or stories about themselves when they first meet someone new, even if you see signs that she wants to talk with you. It’ll take some time before they trust you enough and feel comfortable to open up. This is natural. We all want to protect ourselves from getting burned.
But this can make it difficult for men who genuinely want to get to know women on a deeper level.
So, what’s the best way to truly get to know a woman and build attraction?
Deep Topics To Talk About With Women
There are so many benefits to really getting to know a woman.
Firstly, you’ll be able to figure out if the two of you are actually compatible, based on your life values and goals.
Secondly, knowing who someone really is and still being attracted to them will let you know you’re with them for the right reasons.
And finally, it’ll bring you so much closer together. That’s what we’re all looking for in a successful relationship, right?
So here are our top 8 deep topics to talk about with women that will show you who she really is. Keep in mind these are not topics for starting a conversation with a girl. Instead, they're for when you already know each other a bit.
What kinds of things make you happy cry?
Some women happy cry when they watch cute couples in movies get their happy ending.
Some women happy cry when they attend their friends’ weddings.
And some women happy cry when they see a man lovingly holding a baby in his arms.
Finding out what makes a woman cry with happiness will show you what’s important to her.
Crying at weddings suggests that she values true love and probably wants to get married someday. Getting emotional when seeing a father hold a baby probably means she values a man who wants kids and is a great dad.
Plus, this is a much safer question to ask than, “when did you last cry?” which could bring up some painful memories.
A deep topic to talk about that’s not actually taboo: are you a spiritual person?
The two cardinal rules at dinner are:
- Don’t speak about politics
- Don’t speak about religion
Unfortunately, my father loves nothing more than a heated debate about both of these while the rest of us chow down and try and escape pronto!
Religion, in particular, can be a really sensitive subject for some people. But asking someone if they’re spiritual is a much safer way of finding out their beliefs while avoiding offending anyone or starting a row.
Finding out someone’s beliefs about life, love and what happens next will tell you a lot about them. Spiritual people tend to be more connected to themselves. They also tend to be more caring and compassionate with others.
What did you want to be when you were little?
Unless she experienced severe trauma when she was younger, this question will spark welcome nostalgia. If she does seem uncomfortable or share a traumatic story with you, then do your best to make her feel comfortable and hold space for her to be heard.
But most women will probably smile or laugh at their childhood ambitions and enjoy taking a trip down memory lane.
You might even find out she’s doing what she dreamt of as a child--and that’s a woman who you can be sure knows what she wants (at least when it comes to her career).
Her answer to this deep topic to talk about will show you to what degree her life has changed since she was little. This will help you connect on a deeper level.
If you won the lottery, what would you spend the money on?
If you want to find out about a woman--or man’s--character, ask them this question.
Someone who is materialistic will talk about fancy sports cars, yachts or million-dollar mansions. But someone who is generous may say they would give some of it to charity.
Someone who says they would split it with their family and/or friends clearly cherishes their loved ones. Likewise, someone who says they’ll invest it all is probably a cautious character who likes to plan for the future.
Someone who says they’d blow it all on a crazy weekend in Vegas may be quite carefree and spontaneous but potentially reckless.
This is a topic you can casually talk about in a coffee shop with a girl.
What’s the biggest challenge you’ve faced in your life so far?
This is another powerfully deep question that will tell you a lot about this woman’s life so far. Whether it has been full of struggle and hardships or pretty plain sailing.
Regardless of which one it is, pay close attention to how she talks about the experience, what she learned,and what impact this has had on the woman she is today.
There’s a chance she may appear to still be negatively affected by a past challenge, which suggests she hasn’t fully dealt with it. This might put a strain on a potential relationship together. It all depends on the circumstances.
A strong, fierce, empowered woman will not allow anything to keep her living in the past or hold her back from the life she desires.
Deep topics to talk about: If today was your last day on earth, what would you do?
Maybe she has thought about it already, and maybe not. Typical answers would be spending it with loved ones or ticking something crazy off a bucket list.
Not many people are comfortable with the thought of death. So they may not like to spend too much time thinking about such a question. This question could even help you discover her thoughts on life, death and whether she believes in an afterlife or reincarnation.
If she tells you she’d do everything exactly the same as she usually does, then that’s a great sign she’s happy with the life she’s living and has no regrets.
The woman you’re with might need time to think about her answers to some of these questions, and that’s okay. They’re pretty deep after all! You could always share your own answer with her first, which is a great way to put her at ease and encourage her to open up--especially if you share something real with her.
Tell me what your biggest dream is
This a brilliant question to help you connect with someone and figure out what they believe their mission is here on earth. This one of those deep topics to talk about that reveals a lot about their plans for the future. That is unless you’re talking to an over-achieving, one in a million woman who happens to have achieved all of her big dreams already. If that’s the case, congratulate her for being awesome and ask her to share her experience of getting there.
Most people have yet to realize their grandest, wildest dream. And everyone has one. Some are smaller and simpler than others. But everyone dreams of being, doing, having, achieving something.
What’s more telling about someone’s character is the reason behind why they have that dream. Is it for superficial reasons, or does it come straight from the heart?
What’s one thing that no one else knows about you?
This is a deep topic to talk about that most people will never be asked. But they almost always have something interesting to say.
And the great thing is, this allows her to go as personal or impersonal as she likes.
She might tell you an embarrassing story from her school days, a fear or phobia or maybe something more serious she’s dealing with today.
How deep she goes will tell you how comfortable she feels with you, and how willing she is to be vulnerable. Even if you want her to be more personal with you, don’t push her for anything. This will only make her back off even more. Always respect her boundaries.
Remember: It Takes Two!
Don’t keep blasting a woman with personal questions expecting her to share while you keep yourself locked down like a vault. For a deeper attraction and connection to form, both of you have to share the conversation about whichever deep topic to talk about.
So hold space for her to open up without butting in or judging. And then if it feels right, go ahead and share something with her. This is a great way of not only getting to know someone’s real character but also seeing if you have anything in common other than physical attraction to one another. If you’re looking for something serious, this is vital for a relationship to last.