You meet someone and she’s absolutely amazing. She’s fun and easy to talk to, and she might just be flirting with you a bit. But the big question is: Is she married? Or is she really single like she lets on?
If you’re reading this article, then I’ll bet there’s a woman in your life you’re really hitting it off with. And yet there’s one thing that bothers you—you don’t know for sure if she’s married or not. You find yourself asking, "Is she single?" And that’s a good thing. It’s important to know the real deal about her, so you can decide whether to go further or to not waste your precious time on her.
That said, it’s not always easy to tell whether she has a husband, especially when she’s on the hunt for another man to hook up with. Such wives are very good at keeping their secrets.
So how do you find out about her marital status? This article will go over five methods to uncover the truth, plus five not-very-obvious signs she’s married.
Is She Married? How to Know for Sure
Use these five methods when you’re excited to move forward with your relationship with this woman. If you don't know how to ask a girl if she's single or you can't insert it into your conversation, these methods can shed light on her marital status.
When you find out she’s married and trying to hide it, that might make you change your plans. (Or not. Up to you!)
#1: Be extremely interested in her
...Or at least, act like you’re really into her. Spend lots of time together, compliment her, invite her out to one-on-one dates. Act like you’re a guy wooing a woman to be his next girlfriend.
If she’s married, she’ll eventually mention the words “my husband” or “my partner”. It’s a married woman’s knee-jerk reaction to another man’s affections—kind of like disavowing responsibility if something happens between you.
On the other hand, it’s also entirely possible she won’t mention her husband at all. Either she’s really single, or she’s just ready to mingle.
#2: Check her county records
Do you know where she lives? If you do, then check her county’s records, which include marriages and divorces. If her name pops up, you’ll have a pretty good idea of what her marital status is.
This is an effective method to find out if she’s married, but it’s not always reliable. She might have moved a lot, and so it’s harder to track where she’s lived. Try it out once, but don’t rely on it solely.
#3: Google her name
Here’s another simple (although sneaky) method: Check Google for any mention of her name. You might come up with old or abandoned social media profiles, news articles, and other public registries with her name on it. Keep in mind that social media might not be the best way to know if she's single since not all women post regularly.
Again, while effective, this method is not completely reliable—for instance, she might share the same name as a hundred other women in the country. For best results, use this method in tandem with all the others.
#4: Ask your mutual friends
Do you have mutual friends with her? If you do, then ask one of them: “Is she married? I never got to ask her.” As long as you give a reason for not knowing, they’ll likely tell you what’s up.
Fair warning, though: Take note if they’re hesitant or if they’d rather not say. It might be a sign they know her marital status, but it’s not something they’d bring up in polite discussion. The reasons can vary:
- She might be on her way to divorcing her husband;
- She might be cheating on him and your mutual friends are helping her keep it a secret;
- Or something much more complicated.
Lastly, if all else fails:
#5: How to tell if a girl is single: Ask her
This should be your last resort: Simply ask her. When you’re alone together, pop the question: “So, are you single, or married? I’ve always been curious.”
If she asks why you’re asking, you can tell her something like: “Well, I like you, but before I move further I’d like to know if I’m stepping on someone’s toes.”
At that, she’ll probably tell you outright whether she’s married or not. Problem solved. But what if she plays around with you? What if she says something like: “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
So is she married? Mind games like that tell you “probably yes”—and now, you have the info you need to plan your next move.
Now, what if that’s too upfront for you? Are there subtler ways to tell if a woman is married?
The answer is “Yes.” The next section will show you five not-so-obvious signs there’s at least one other guy in her life.
The Subtle Ways to Tell if a Woman is Married:
Sometimes, you can guess a woman’s marital status by observing her appearance and behavior. She’s married if she shows more than a few of the following five signs:
Sign #1: She avoids being seen in public with you
This is probably the biggest red flag (or green flag, depending on what you want). She likes meeting up and spending one-on-one time with you, but never in public. She never walks with you on sidewalks or malls, she never takes the same public transportation as you, and she never meets you with friends.
Why would she avoid being seen in public with you? Obviously, she’s hiding something. She doesn’t want anyone important—such as friends and family—to see her alone with another man and report the deed to her husband.
Sign #2: A ring or a tan line
This is also probably the first sign you look for: A wedding ring on her left ring finger. If she’s not wearing a ring, see if there’s a tan line—proof that she wears one often, but she takes it off when she’s with you.
That should tell you she’s married, and yet she’s seeing you in secret despite that. It means she’s unhappy with her marriage and wants to have a bit of fun.
Sign #3: She doesn't respond to calls/texts right away
Here’s another subtle sign she’s married: Sometimes she responds to your calls and text messages right away. Other times, she’d take hours or even days. What does it mean?
It could mean:
- You’re not a priority to her, and some things are more important to her than you (e.g. her family and work);
- She’s hiding your relationship from her husband;
- She likes you, but she’s hesitating to admit it;
- She’s at home, spending time with her husband or family, and she doesn’t want to be seen on the phone with you.
Also, take note if the number she uses to contact you is a different one from her home or office phone. If it is, it’s likely a burner phone she uses for her secret hookups. Whether you’re the only one on it or not is anyone’s guess.
Sign #4: She sets the dates and times for your meetups
You might make suggestions where and when to meet, but she always seems to have the final say. And strangely, all your meetups happen in secluded and private locations.
If she does this, she may be planning situations where there’s little to no chance of being spotted. Your suggestions might be a bit too public, which is why she keeps changing the plan.
Sign #5: You're connected only on one social media platform
Like how it is with her burner phone, she might have a social media profile that she only uses for hookups, and no one else knows about it. If you’re connected to her on only one social media platform, it means she’s trying to keep a low profile.
If you’re only connected to her on Kik, Tinder, or some other “hookup” app, then it’s almost a sure thing she’s trying to keep you a secret. (It’s also a sign she’s seeing other guys besides you.)
If she’s not married, then having you on only one platform means she’s only dating around for the fun of it, and probably doesn’t want an exclusive relationship.
So how many signs do you see in her? If there’s more than one, then it’s a pretty good chance she’s married (or at least someone’s girlfriend).
To wrap up this article, let’s take a little peek into the mind of the cheating wife...
Why Do Married Women Cheat?
The answer is almost universal: They’re unsatisfied with their husbands. Whether they’re physically, emotionally, or financially unfulfilled (or a combination thereof), these unhappy wives feel the insatiable urge to find their happiness elsewhere.
That said, it’s healthy to assume nothing. It’s much better to find out the real deal by using the five methods in this article, as well as keeping the five subtle signs in mind.
Also, remember that even a cheating wife will value her reputation more than anything. No matter how happy you might make her, if she’s in danger of being exposed as a cheater, she won’t hesitate to throw you under the bus. Buyer beware.
That said, if you can keep things under wraps, and you can guarantee no one will ever find out, she just might be down for a little fun with you. Satisfy her cravings, she’ll go home happy, and she’ll be better able to handle the blandness of her marriage.
So is she married? Now you know how to tell for sure, even if you’re too shy to ask.