Dating can be confusing at times. What's a sign of attraction from one woman can be a non-verbal "get away from me!" from another. So what should you do if you like a girl, but she doesn't speak much and you don't know if that's just how she is. What are the telltale signs a shy girl doesn't like you?
Models by Mark Manson is a must-read dating book for every guy. One of the rules that Manson stresses on in his book is the "f**k yeah" rule. It means that men shouldn't waste their time with non-receptive girls. If a girl doesn't show signs of interest pretty fast. then you should save your time and energy for someone who will say "f**k yeah" to dating you.
But in order to apply this principle to your dating life, you must first be aware of how women react around the men they like and learn how to read the signs when a girl doesn't like you... especially shy girls.
Because it's easy to misinterpret rejection for shyness when the girl you like seems to show ZERO signs of attraction. And in order to avoid this confusion, you must get good at reading women.
The Major Signs a Shy Girl Doesn’t Like You
If you want something, you have to ask. But in the case of dating, sometimes you don't want to ask around and give yourself away. To avoid asking people questions like "is she shy or she doesn’t like me?", I listed a few good signs that will tell you whether this shy girl is attracted to you or is just being polite.
Look for them, and don't hesitate to walk away when you see lots of signs that this shy girl doesn't like you:
She likes you if she always talks about you
She doesn't normally talk much but when she does, she finds some way to steer the conversation towards you.
If a shy is always interested in what you're up to and you can see the spark of excitement in her eyes, then a big chance this shy girl likes you. A person who likes someone and thinks about them consistently usually has gaps of information about you that he or she wants to fill. Questions like:
What's his job?
Did he have fun on his last trip? Yes? Who did he go with?
And how was his father's surgery?
Shy women tend to be introspective. They want to gather as much information as they can before they make a move. So if she always asks about you or she seems super interested when other people mention you, then it's a sure sign she's into you.
She doesn’t like you if she doesn't pay attention to what you say
Or ask any personal questions whatsoever. One of the biggest signs a shy girl doesn't like you is when she doesn't pay attention to you or what you're saying. You talk to her but you can tell her mind is elsewhere. Or she might find some excuse to cut the conversation short.
Shy girls are often considerate when it comes to hurting other people's feelings, so sometimes they keep up the conversation to be polite. But when something about your previous conversation comes up and she seems completely uninterested, she's just not that into you.
She likes you if her body language gives her away
Shy people rarely try to take up a lot of space. You'll see her slouching on a bench or hugging her books if she's in college. But there's an exception to every rule. If she's suddenly all psyched around you like a kid in a candy shop then she might be attracted.
Also, people usually miss someone's feet direction when analyzing their body language. Try to talk to a person who's in a hurry and notice how their feet are pointing towards the door or the exit or their planned direction.
Similarly, if you're talking to her in a group and her body is positioned towards you, then it's probably because yours is her subconscious' favorite direction. Sometimes she can still do it when she's not sitting with you. She will be far across the room but her feet are pointing towards where you stand. This is a good sign this shy girl likes you.
The Dating Apps Regular Guys Get The Best Results With
Most guys struggle to understand shy women except when they're online. For some reason, a lot of shy women are much more open and easier to read when it's not face-to-face. If you haven't had a great time using dating apps to this point it's probably because you're using the wrong ones.
Use the tools you've learned in this article and check out a couple of apps that dating experts have been recommending to regular guys that will work for you:
|Site||Our Experience||Our Rating||Free Trial Link|
Best Casual Encounter Site
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Great If You're Handsome
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She doesn’t like you if she gives you uninterested body signs
This is the opposite of what I just said in the last point. If her body is always closed around you like a member of the Night's Watch in the longest winter ever then this shy girl may not be excited around you.
Keep in mind that some shy women tend to just have closed-off body language in general. So try to see how she behaves around people she does like such as her close friends. If she's more open and energetic around them and then she suddenly crosses her arms, leans further away or has that "I gotta go" posture, then she's very likely not into you.
She likes you if she discusses plans with you or asks if you’re available
If a shy girl likes you then she will definitely want to know if you're available or not, so she will ask you either directly or indirectly.
She may tell you to bring your girlfriend to an event you're attending together, recommend that a certain girl may be a good fit for you, or even ask one of her friends to ask you. If she has feelings for you then she will be impatient about finding out whether you're taken or not.
One of the top signs a shy girl doesn’t like you: she mentions her boyfriend
Unlike the last point, if a shy girl doesn't like you she will keep mentioning her boyfriend even if you didn't actually ask.
Some girls may talk in front of you about a guy they admire just to get you jealous and push you to make a move. But shy girls don't often do that because personally, they're likely to back off when the guy they like is taken.
Instead, if a shy girl doesn't like you and she mentions a guy, it's her way of saying she's taken without being direct about it.
She doesn’t like you if she always flakes or has a reason to not meet up
Shy girls don't usually join big groups, so being in the same group may not be an option. However, if she intentionally avoids being with you in the same group then you either creep her out or she thinks you like her and she wants you to know where she stands.
Flaking on you is also a big sign this shy girl doesn't like you so don't push it if she says no more than once. Some shy girls usually don't have much on their social calendars, so they welcome invitations from people they like. If she says no, then you're not one of the people she likes.
She likes you if you notice her glancing at you
Back when I was a shy kid, I used to glance at my hot classmate every time she's not aware. I don't if you're old enough to remember but she looked like Kimberly, the pink Power Ranger, so don't blame me.
Ironically though, her desk mate thought I was glancing at her instead of her friend, so about a week later she was waiting for me in the hall with a long love letter showered with perfume.
(Selma, if you're reading this, you meant a lot to me).
Anyway, shy girls are rarely direct, especially with a guy they like. So if a spot a girl glancing at you from far away or talking about you with her friends, then there's a really big chance this shy girl likes you.
She doesn’t like you if she avoids looking you in the eye
Shy girls rarely look people in the eye. But a girl - any girl - who likes a guy will usually look him the eye when they're talking. With shy girls, it's usually a quick glance followed by blushing or a smile.
The Bambi eyes you often see in anime movies when her pupils expand as a signal that her mind wants to see more of you. If someone does the opposite and avoids all sorts of eye contact with you then this shy girl doesn't like you as much as you like her.
She likes you if she texts enthusiastically
When you text, is she generous with her words or does she stick to one-worded sentences?
Girls, no matter how shy they are, usually open up over text. A shy girl who likes you will send you blocks of texts, double, triple, or even quadruple texts you and will use a ton of emojis as a sign of interest.
She doesn’t like you if she always leaves you on read
On the other hand, a girl who barely texts back or always keeps you on read while being online is probably uninterested.
Everyone checks their smartphone almost every hour, especially women, so never assume she didn't see your text. She might be busy once or twice but if she always ignores you when you text her, nine times out of ten this shy girl doesn't like you.
She doesn’t like you if her smile is out of pity
Shy women know how to be polite to guys they aren't into. It's usually just in their nature to not be as confrontational by saying, "Hey, go away." This is even more true with shy girls. They may even smile politely just to keep the peace, but they're not exactly having a good time.
So how can you spot the "pity smile"? First, look into her eyes. Her mouth might be smiling but her eyes aren't. She may even raise her eyebrows and look away once she's flashed you that smile. If you see this smile from a woman, take the hint and leave her alone.
She likes you if she gets excited to talk about certain topics with you
When a woman talks to you excitedly about a topic that you BOTH like, it's not necessarily a sign that she likes you. In fact, she could just be excited that you're as into obscure 1970s superheroes as she is.
But when a shy girl brightens up when you ask her about a topic that SHE likes, that's a positive sign. She's excited because you're interested to know what she thinks about something. And she's doubly excited to know that the guy she likes wants to know what she has to say.
She doesn’t like you if she always changes topics if you talk about intimacy or relationships
On the contrary, if each time you bring up relationships she says, "I need to focus on my career first," or "I'm not thinking about getting a boyfriend right now" or "most relationships fail anyway" then she's shutting the door in your face. Girls often have rules that they break when the right guy comes.
So if she keeps imposing those relationships rules on you already then this shy girl is probably saying "I'm not gonna make an exception for you."
She likes you if she enjoys touching you (even a handshake will last longer)
A prolonged handshake with eye contact and a genuine smile, a soft pat on the shoulder that feels like a massage, or some seemingly uncalibrated touches on your arm whenever you say something funny. These are the things a shy girl will do to express her interest in a guy.
She doesn’t like you if she avoids all sorts of touching
Does she pull her hands back after a handshake at lightning speed? Are her hands always kept in her pockets when she talks to you? Does she avoid sitting next to you in busses, classes or meeting rooms?
If yes, then she's probably avoiding anything that can give you the wrong impression that she likes you.
If you spot most of the signs a shy girl doesn't like you, then it's probably time for you to move on to someone who is actually interested in you. On the other hand, if she checks all the boxes that she's into you, then congratulations! Shy girls aren't as easy to read as more extroverted and forward ones. So if she breaks out of her shell to show you how much she likes you, then you, my friend, are on the right track!